IT’S OK, TO BE OK WITH SOME THINGS

This weekend having a conversation with my aunt about this thing called life, made some uncomfortable “things” come up. By the end, I told her sometimes you just have to be ok with some things. It doesn’t make it bad. It doesn’t make it wrong. IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS Just being ok, accepting, and releasing gives you the opportunity to grow, heal, and be at peace. Here are some things we just sometimes have to be ok with.

close up shot of keyboard buttons — Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

It’s Ok…

-To not want to be ok
-To not feel ok
-To feel lonely
-Needing or wanting someone around, or companionship
-Not knowing what you want to do
-If your feelings are hurt
-To feel more than one emotion or one way
-To lose interest
-Want something different
-To seek a different perspective than the normal
-To have thoughts of giving up or quitting
-Gain a few pounds
-Have a setback of any kind (diet, fitness, finances, emotions)
-If something or someone isn’t what you expected

”Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s okay to have a moment of uncertainty about life. It’s a transformative period to find your purpose.”

Those are just a few things that came up in our conversation. No matter how old you are or what you’re doing it’s ok. Sometimes we won’t have all the answers or information. We even may not ever get any or all of it. The only thing we can do is do the best we can with what we have. Everything will work out. In many circumstances it’s better to not know all the answers.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.-Robert Brault

I’ve always enjoyed the most simple things and the simple life. In recent years, I just became comfortable with that and admitting it. Especially coming from a large family who likes to do things on a grand scale. Going to get a cup of coffee, having a clean home that smells good, me indulging in body wash, lotions, perfume, doing my nails and hair, and binging on RuPaul Drag Race is everything to me. Some may say it’s simple and boring, but I relish in it. Also I’d rather take several 3-4 day vacations in small towns enjoying the food, country side, and attractions better than a 7 day vacation somewhere. SIMPLE DAYS ARE THE BEST DAYS

person showing white mug in focus photography

No matter what kind of lifestyle you enjoy, take in the simple small things. The joy, peace, and calm the smallest things can bring will last longer than any large thing you can imagine. I always think of this story I read:

Two couples, one makes over six figures a year, and the other couple makes less than 30k combined. Now the couple that makes over six figures, has a large amazingly beautiful house, 3 luxury cars, jewelry, and all the latest fashions. They take a grand vacation every year. But they are in an insane amount of debt. The marriage is very rocky, the kids are rebellious, and they both admitted they thought all the “stuff” and money will erase it. On the other hand, the couple that makes 30k has an insane amount of savings, they are very charitable, doesn’t have all the bells and whistles, live a modest life, yes they gone on a vacation, and have a quaint small single family home compared to the other. Living happy and joyfully.

All that to say, it doesn’t matter what you have, how much you have, if it’s shinier, bigger, better, single or married, it won’t matter. You can have “it all” but it won’t fix the sadness, problems, or unhappiness. Make sure to enjoy the small simple things in life. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BEST THING I HEARD THIS WEEK

”If you want more, then do more. If you’re happy with the relationship you have, then don’t do anything. It’s totally up to you. There is no right or wrong answer.”

One day at work someone in the office got a phone call. Of course they put it on speaker and I was able to hear the conversation. The woman asked if she should call a certain person for their birthday and wish them a happy birthday.

SideNote: I don’t know the exact relation of the woman and person in the office. Also I wasn’t able to get a clear picture on who had the lucky birthday and their relation as well. But it was clear they all knew each and were kind of close.

It was clear from her tone there was an internal conflict. She was confused, wanted to do the right thing, and was looking for the answer either way. You know, we wall have those moments where you just want someone to tell you Yay or Nay. Looking for the answer or validation in your confused state.

When he responded with “are you happy where the relationship is?” And then said “”If you want more, then do more. If you’re happy with the relationship you have, then don’t do anything. It’s totally up to you. There is no right or wrong answer.” I perked up and my antennas went up. You know I love a good quote or food for thought. Favorite Iyanla Vanzant Quotes: MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRING

What he said resonated not only in relationships, but in life. If you want more in your career then do more. If you want more in your spiritual journey then do more, if you are ok then do nothing. No matter what the circumstance or situation is you have the power to make the decision. And guess what, because it’s your decision, it’s the right one. What’s right for me may not be right for you. But it’s your choice.

If you are having an internal conflict about something, simply ask yourself are you happy in it’s current state. Do I want more? Do I need more? Am I ok with where I am or what I have? Will I be ok if I don’t get anything? Then answer your own questions. Proceed accordingly.

It will always work out because you resolved it for yourself. Yes, we want others opinions, sometimes validation, and for someone to just give us the answer. But will it be right within you. The choice is yours. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO UNPLUG

”Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you. -Anne Lamott

I took a break. A long break. Sometimes the best thing you can do is unplug and step away from everything. Taking a break gives you your power back, gives you clarity, and energy to continue on whatever path your life is taking you.

One of the best outcomes of me taking a break has been my self awareness. The immense power you have when you can be self aware to know and understand why you respond, react, or do certain things. Self awareness takes courage, patience, and practice. You will go on a roller coaster ride to get to the top.

For about two months, as it became closer and closer for me to clock in for work, I would have heart palpitations, sweaty palms, sudden flow of tears, body was jittery, and a huge lump in my throat. All while spending the prior hour meditating, journaling, and praying. Even after doing all I could, I still had a physical reaction. Even when I got off, all I could think about was what I had to do, what was next, and how I can trick my mind into thinking everything was ok. My weekends felt like quick sand. They would go by so fast and all I could think about is how I didn’t want to go to work.

So I started to listen to my body and the response it was giving me that I couldn’t control. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED Why am I feeling like this? What is it that I have anxiety about? Do I want to do this? I finally had to admit to myself, that I was psyching myself out and pumping myself up just to go to work. One morning talking to my husband without thinking I said “I am not happy and I don’t want to do this.”

I couldn’t believe I said it, but I felt a huge burden lifted. After I admitted that, it was easy for me to realize how much time I spent convincing myself “it’s not a big deal”, “anybody would love to have that job”, “do you know how many people would love to make the money you make”, and so many other thoughts.

The self awareness gave me the power and strength to not care what others would say or do. Determine if I leave or not. I literally made the decision to do what was best for me and it hasn’t been more freeing.

I have absolutely no anxiety going to work. There isn’t a thought of “ugh I have to go to work.” I enjoy my weekend and my Mondays aren’t blue. 6 TIPS FOR MONDAY MORNING BLUES

In taking a break I also learned what a truly makes me happy. Do you ever have trouble answering that question,”What makes you happy?” Being still you understand, realize, and appreciate the things that make you happy. After taking my power back through self awareness, I was able to confidently say what I wanted my happiness to be like and feel like. Without shame, guilt, or embarrassment.

I love doing my morning skincare routine. It makes me feel like I’m preparing myself for the day. It brightens me not only physically but mentally. My morning skincare routine also gives me confidence and strength to go out and put my best foot forward. I love eating good heart healthy foods to keep my blood pressure and health in order. Drinking water to ensure my body is hydrated and cleansed makes me feel good. Working out, sweating, and releasing negative energy is my mental therapy. Nothing clears my mind daily like a good walk. My nighttime skincare and bath routine calms me, allows me to leave the day that day, and prepare for a clean slate the next.

Unplugging and taking a break allowed me to strengthen relationships, strengthen boundaries, and resolve any limiting factors that was prohibiting me from being me. There was a point in my break that I said aloud for the first time, “the mother I wanted or needed I would never have.” How can I participate in what she has to offer without being so drained mentally and emotionally ? That felt like I lost hundreds of pounds in a day. Again, without guilt, shame, or anger I was able to come to grips and set clear boundaries on what kind of relationship I can participate in.

I have never felt so free, happy, and light.

My mental clarity and self awareness has given me an understanding and healing to want to know how to communicate better. Understand what a person needs from me. Also to be honest with myself and others on what I can offer or not. Amazingly, in a conversation with my aunt, unknowingly, I said “auntie I can’t give you what you need or looking for, but I can help you get to what you need and looking for.”

The fact that I was mentally and emotionally in tuned with myself and empathetic to her, allowed me to create boundaries, validate her, and be honest with her and myself was energetic in my body.

One of my prayers everyday is for strength to do the mission I am handed. Take it from me, it’s ok to take a break. Even if you don’t know what you need or want. If there is too much going on in your head and body, unplug. Sometimes you can do all you can, journal, pray, meditate, and you still need to unplug. To be honest, it’s not even a bad idea to take a break every so often to regroup. Life is going to life. Have a great weekend.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Other people’s idea of you is not your responsibility to live up to.” – Unknown

have a great day sticker on brown surface

The number one reason many are unhappy, stressed, or emotionally tired is because they are trying to live up to someone’s else’s idea of who and what they should be. We never want to let others down. Especially our loved ones. However, even trying to “live” up to a loved one expectation of you, can be very damaging to your mental and emotional health. Growing up my mother had her own idea of what college I should attend. She wanted me to attend nursing school so bad, but that was her dream. If you find yourself trying to prove to anyone you’re good enough or prove your value then you have to take your own power back. WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE TO PLEASE In doing so, don’t even verbally express what you are going to do. Redirect your life and path to what you actually want to do or be. When you begin to live in your desires and what makes you happy, the benefit is for you and any relationship. Each day you’ll wake up ready to live through the day. The anxiety of what lies ahead no longer hold you hostage. The relationships that are meant to be, will be. But living for you, without seeking permission, or second guessing is the most freeing feeling. Enjoy your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

ALL IT TAKES IS A SMILE

I’ve watched a ton of videos and read many articles from successful business owners and entrepreneurs. One going theme was they went into business to serve, solve a problem, make someone else life easier, and to give back. Then the financial gain came from that. It’s so cliche, and we see it everywhere we turn today, to be kind and make someone else smile. It’s free to smile, wave, be positive, say thank you, please, and to ask someone how their day is going. In turn, not only have you made someone else feel good, heard, seen, and appreciated, you’ve fed your heart with goodness that will grow. What we put out into the world will come back.

Yesterday when I went to pick my daughter up from school, there’s this teacher out there that directs traffic to let you know which lane to go to. He’s out there rain, sleet, snow, humidity, hot, and cold weather. He waves at every car or parent as he directs traffic. Each day my husband and I go we wave and go to the lane he tells us. Well yesterday, he made it a point to come to the window and motion me to roll it down. He proceeded to say he looks forward to my husband or I coming to pick up, because we always wave and smile back. He said he appreciated us acknowledging him, waving back and making his day. Many parents ignore him waving and just go through the line.

First of all, he’s a teacher and we appreciate him. However, the littlest gesture of appreciation is all we ever need. When someone smile at you, smile back, it’s free and that’s their way of acknowledging you. Waving and saying hello is the easiest way to tell someone you are seen and heard. To ignore them, is rude and says more about you than them. https://amzn.to/3tz97Qe

To know that your hard work and efforts are appreciated gives you the motivation to keep going and to help others. We’ve all felt unappreciated at some point. If not at work, in relationships or at home. How many times have we said, a thank you would do great. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO #BE KIND

So it’s not a cliche. Be kind… to everyone out there. It definitely will be appreciated. The kindness always come back around. If you want to be treated with love, care, kindness, and respect we must give it out in abundance. Have a great day!!!!! #BeKind

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” – Khaled Hosseini

”The truth hurts.” I think we all heard this since birth growing up. Why? Because it really does hurt. When faced with the truth there are some tough decisions and choices you’re going to have to make. Those decisions will effect relationships, your finances, and life circumstances. We often avoid them because the unknown side effects are unbearable to think about. However, imagine the internal pain and sometimes physical pain we cause ourselves when trying to justify what we know to be a lie. We make excuses, blame ourselves, give empty boundaries and consequences, blame other people, outside circumstances, and eventually give multiple chances. We just keep adding commas when a period or exclamation point should have ended it. TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS The relationship, job, financial budgeting, goals, health, dieting, exercising, and many other things we move the goal post on. Yes it’s so much easier to deal with the truth on the front end than back end. It saves time, money, and heart ache. If we don’t take care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally we have mental breakdowns, stress causing health problems, lack of sleep, and poor habits. When saying I need a day off is so much easier. Getting that check up and catching things early or preventing is better than a diagnosis. Taking care of your home and vehicle maintenance is better than spending thousands of dollars on the back end. No matter what area of your life it is, facing the truth, acknowledging the truth, and conquering it head on will be better for your wellbeing all around. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SUNDAY RESET JOURNAL PROMPTS

Sundays are days where many people “reset”. It’s the start of a new week, work week, and school. As I ran to the store yesterday afternoon, I was quickly reminded of that because the store was so busy like it was Christmas Eve. It’s been a tradition to use Sunday as a day of preparation and reset to get through the week. Here are a few journal prompts to help you mentally and emotionally get you prepared for the week.

Sunday Journal Prompts

What is on the schedule for this week?
How do I feel about this schedule?
What was a win from last week that I’d like to carry over and continue?
What is one goal for myself this week?
What was the best thing that happened last week?
What do I need for this week to be a success?
What is something I can eliminate to take pressure off myself?
How do I want to feel at the end of the week?
How can I do something fun this week?
Where can I try something new this week?

Those are 10 journal prompts to get you started this week. RESOLVE EVERYTHING FROM LAST WEEK It’s important that our intentions and expectations are clear. These journal prompts allows you to work through what those intentions and expectations are. As you go to the grocery store, do laundry, clean the house, and have Sunday dinner don’t forget to reset your mental and emotional calendar. Happy Sunday Funday!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

RESOLVE EVERYTHING FROM LAST WEEK

Before the beginning of the new week or work week for some, it’s important to resolve everything that happened last week. From work, to family, health, plans, and what you didn’t get done. Write it down, talk about it, adjust, and learn from last week. One of the biggest mistakes we make is dragging Friday into Monday morning. That’s how we get stuck and trapped into a dark cycle. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED

white and black weekly planner on gray surface

First starting with work. Whatever happened, leave it there. Try not to bring work home. Once you leave don’t revisit until you go back the next day. Even if you work from home. You can’t change what happened or go back and get a redo. Figure out how you can manage yourself and your expectations going forward to give you the opportunity to succeed. Not just succeed in the functions, but mentally and emotionally as well. Create 2-3 goals for yourself professionally this week. Find a plan to eliminate some stressors, if you have them, to have a better days work.

If you didn’t get to take care of yourself like you wanted this week, again, create a plan to carve time for you to exercise. Sit down on Sunday and create a meal plan for the week. Look at your schedule and see when you have some free time to carve out. Make a commitment to focus on yourself for one hour each day.

Sometimes we need to connect and have a good conversation. If there is a family member or friend that you’ve been meaning to reach out to, schedule that in. Often we feel so much better when we talk out what’s been going on with us and just to release our thoughts and feelings. Purging and hearing someone else’s point of view may help us navigate our daily life.

We’ve heard the cliche, “make sure you close one door before opening another.” Close out this week to prepare for a clean slate. Don’t carry baggage over for it to just pile and stink up the week before you can create any new trash. Do what you have to do to be in safe space emotionally.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.