MOTHERHOOD STILL INSPIRES ME

I’ll repeat until the end of time; being a mom is the most important position I’ll ever hold. Having the responsibility to raise three children to be their most successful, responsible, and authentic self is a ride of a lifetime. It’s rewarding, fulfilling, motivating, educational, inspiring, and a journey. Tapping into motherhood requires patience, communication, and selflessness.

Being a mom inspires me to better myself. I pray each day for strength to be the mom they need me to be. So often as parents we can make the mistake in guiding our children into who we think they should be instead supporting them into who they are meant to be. Supporting each one of my kids requires me to unlearn, relearn, and communicate with them at their respective stage and communication style. BEING A MOM INSPIRES ME

Learning triggers, what they are looking for from me, and how to deliver to get them to understand has required me to check myself and my communication style. Also having that balance of hearing them and making decisions as mom. Sometimes, yes, as a mom, we have to make tough decisions they won’t like. But it’s the best decision at the time.

The more they grow, they encourage me to take care of myself. My level of self care and how I navigate each day is to promote a healthy balance. I want them to learn from me instead of just hearing me say it. That has required me to take a deep internal journey into my self . Heal, grow, and learn. The more confidence I instill in them, the more my confidence builds for myself. I don’t want them to just do as I say and not as I do.

Believe me, kids are very smart and they will know when you’re aren’t practicing what you preach. You’ll lose them.

Learning to let go. Trust what you’ve taught them. Trust them in their decision making. Also knowing as a mom I can’t prevent everything. There are going to be times they fall. That is a part of their learning and growth. Knowing how to uplift and build each child back up is key to their success.

My kids inspires me to be patient, listen to my emotions, communicate and listen. Having the confidence to know trust your gut. Make the best decision with what you have at that time. Live life without regrets. Never stop learning. My oldest teaches me to live simply. Remain even toned. Never get too high or too low. My daughter teaches me to be me authentically. No matter what’’s happening around you stay in tuned to who you are and make decisions that are best for you. My youngest son teaches me to be empathetic. Have compassion. Be understanding and don’t give up.

To all the moms out there, you are doing great. Trust yourself. Treat yourself nice. Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Other people’s idea of you is not your responsibility to live up to.” – Unknown

have a great day sticker on brown surface

The number one reason many are unhappy, stressed, or emotionally tired is because they are trying to live up to someone’s else’s idea of who and what they should be. We never want to let others down. Especially our loved ones. However, even trying to “live” up to a loved one expectation of you, can be very damaging to your mental and emotional health. Growing up my mother had her own idea of what college I should attend. She wanted me to attend nursing school so bad, but that was her dream. If you find yourself trying to prove to anyone you’re good enough or prove your value then you have to take your own power back. WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE TO PLEASE In doing so, don’t even verbally express what you are going to do. Redirect your life and path to what you actually want to do or be. When you begin to live in your desires and what makes you happy, the benefit is for you and any relationship. Each day you’ll wake up ready to live through the day. The anxiety of what lies ahead no longer hold you hostage. The relationships that are meant to be, will be. But living for you, without seeking permission, or second guessing is the most freeing feeling. Enjoy your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HOW RISKY ARE YOU: TO QUIT OR NOT QUIT YOUR JOB

Since the pandemic many have had an awakening of becoming their own boss versus working the current job they have. They had an epiphany about what they missed out on, financial freedom, flexibility, and being appreciated. However, depending on who you ask there may or may not be a right or wrong way to go about it.

The Risk Taker

First you have those that says I’m going to bet on myself. I’m tired of working a 9-5. I want to be my own boss. They want the flexibility to work or create when they are most effective. The risk taker also is someone who has many ideas, creative, and very social. They have much confidence in themselves and says I’m going to win no matter what. The risk taker says if you have a plan B, then you aren’t putting all your efforts into Plan A. So of course you’re going to have to rely on Plan B one day. FINANCIAL MINDSET: WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

As Steve Harvey once said, “If my plan A doesn’t work then I’ll create another plan A.”

There isn’t a certain time to be stable to branch out on your own. Anything can happen. The more you try to work and save until you have enough, the longer you’re prolonging your dream and happiness. The comfort will always have you pushing back the deadline to begin your own.

The risk taker may also feel the company can shut down at any moment. They can lay you off without warning. Cut positions, hours, and benefits. Then where will that lead you.

The Cautious One

Next, we have those that says I have a family and bills. What about insurance. What if something happens. They are used to that guaranteed amount and needs that security “just in case.” It’s best to save at least six months, some say, before quitting your job. You need to make sure you’re financially secure and the family is stable while pursuing your dream. It’s all about security and comfort.

So do you quit your job and bet on yourself? Or keep that stable job until you feel you’re ready to stand on your own. Either way there are pros and cons to each. Depending on your life, lifestyle, circumstances, financial status, and many other factors. They both have the same end goal. To be financially free and to have something to pass down to their children. Doing what they love. Having fun. At some point working minimum hours while receiving maximum profit.

I’m a believer in your job or career should fit into your life not your life fitting into your job.

Which mindset are you? Quit or not?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

FAMILY AND CAREER: CAN YOU HAVE BOTH?

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Can you have both: family and career. Some says yes and others says no. Both are full time jobs. Due to my husband position I was the one who had to be extremely flexible and sacrifice. With that being said, I knew I wanted to be present mentally and emotionally for my kids. I only have them for a short amount of time before they expand their wings and go on their own. Conversations with those of my generation, one of the common themes was lack of emotional support. Having a parent interested them, their thoughts, feelings, interest, views, likes, and dislikes.

I’ve watched some friends and family members raise their children completely different and saw outcomes that support both.

First we have the one parent that says I have to work and pay the bills. This parent works two jobs. By the time she gets home her children are in bed. She hasn’t seen them since they left for the school bus. She says they’ve text throughout the day and they are ok. Are they really? Also she believes they love hanging out with their friends and they don’t care if she goes to work. But for some reason one daughter is always calling her at work saying she’s sick. She wants her mom to come pick her up and stay with her at home. She sends dad.

She says they have everything they ask for. That’s why I’m working so much. I take them on a vacation every summer. We have a lake house. I have to work and have my life. She’s right. But is there a cost.

Then she says there’s no need to go to parent teacher conference. Her kids aren’t failing. She thinks her kids doesn’t want her at events, they don’t care. She and her husband told their son because they had to work 2 jobs he couldn’t join baseball because they couldn’t commit. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

On the other hand, we have the one who says I’m going to go to every event, game, show, award ceremony my kid have. I’ll live a subtle life to spend time with the kids. They don’t need name brand stuff all the time. She works just under 40 hours and leaves at 4pm because she says getting off at 5pm is too late for her to start her evening with the kids. They have TV shows they watch together. They eat dinner together. She’s the carpool mom and is very inquisitive about their friends and social life.

She says she’s being a concerned mom. She wants to know everything about them and be there for them. Is there a such thing as a helicopter mom?

Yes kids love having “stuff”. But at the end of the day they want mom or dad there. Not necessarily engaging, but available. They want that comfort and security of knowing you’re around. Or else the risk of the kids learning and finding their way without you can hurt them and the relationship.

No one can put 100% in two things. Being present physically, is different from being present mentally and emotionally. Kids really don’t care about the money.

A couple weeks ago my daughter had an award ceremony because she was nominated for Student Of The Month. During this ceremony there were also other awards given for different categories and grades. Sure the ceremony was on a Friday morning at 9am. They had coffee, donuts, milk and water for us to snack on with our kid until the ceremony started. We were able to mix and mingle with the other parents as well.

However, it broke my heart so bad that a couple of kids didn’t have parents to show. These were huge awards that all teachers and counselors voted on for a particular student. They were eating donuts alone. Looking so sad. At one point I even told my daughter to go tell one student to come sit with us. I just couldn’t help it.

When their name were called up, the counselor read the loving note from the teacher that nominated them. They received their award and took photos. The body language and the barely there smile killed me. At some point I heard a little guy say, my mom couldn’t come she had to work.

Yes you have to work. May not be able to get off every time. But unfortunately, the only things the kids see and remember is being alone at some pretty great moments. No material thing can get rid of that.

Of course, family dynamics, finances, and type of career makes a difference.

So can you really have it all? Family and Career.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

DAILY PROMPT

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

The first that sticks out in my mind is navigating my mother side of the family not liking my father. Watching my mom twist herself into a pretzel to please both was very heart wrenching for me to see. Which, in turn, showed me how to shape, navigate, and mold certain relationships. As a mature woman now, I can see how that shaped my views on relationships and why I self isolate a lot.

The next would be when my father passed away. I was only 21 years old. I had no idea what I was doing or how I should go about the legality work. My mother had ultimately chose her family as the pressure became too much to navigate both. So by the time of his passing they were separated. This experience really showed me the true meaning of advocate for yourself. My family didn’t even attend my fathers funeral. That showed me just what they thought of me, my father, and what they were willing to do to show me how exactly they felt. Going forward I can see where my trust issues and being guarded came from.

I can say if you want to know the now, go back to before to see how your views, opinions, and thoughts were shaped when you were younger. It’s truly eye opening. That’s where the healing begins. #daily prompt

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

FINANCIAL MINDSET: WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

After hearing two coworkers different point of view about finances, budgeting, and saving it had me think about my point of view on finances. Which mindset of the financial spectrum did I fall on? One coworker said she only lives once. Therefore, she buys what she wants, when she wants, and doesn’t particularly save. She pays her bills in full every month. After that, she and her husband live their life. They didn’t believe in the rainy day. “I can’t take the money with me when I die.” Hmmmmm…….

The other coworker was on the complete opposite end of the financial mindset. Her and her family budget everything every month down to the entertainment, eating out, and extras. She said if she goes to the store and get to the counter and the total is over what she planned she will stand there and determine which item she needs less and put it back. Whenever the budget runs out for that category, that is it until next payday or it’s time to budget again. They also have a set savings amount each month. “We just don’t know what’s going to happen.” Hmmmmmm……

So that leads me to the question of which mindset are you?

A. Tomorrow isn’t promised so I’m going to live each day like it’s my last. I’ll worry about tomorrow and what is needed then.

B. I like to be prepared and make sure I have everything I need. I never know when an emergency or unexpected situation or expense may occur.

C. Some where in the middle.

D. Haven’t thought about it.

What’s your financial mindset? Which aisle of the spectrum do fall on? QUICK FINANCIAL WELLNESS TIP

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

ALL IT TAKES IS A SMILE

I’ve watched a ton of videos and read many articles from successful business owners and entrepreneurs. One going theme was they went into business to serve, solve a problem, make someone else life easier, and to give back. Then the financial gain came from that. It’s so cliche, and we see it everywhere we turn today, to be kind and make someone else smile. It’s free to smile, wave, be positive, say thank you, please, and to ask someone how their day is going. In turn, not only have you made someone else feel good, heard, seen, and appreciated, you’ve fed your heart with goodness that will grow. What we put out into the world will come back.

Yesterday when I went to pick my daughter up from school, there’s this teacher out there that directs traffic to let you know which lane to go to. He’s out there rain, sleet, snow, humidity, hot, and cold weather. He waves at every car or parent as he directs traffic. Each day my husband and I go we wave and go to the lane he tells us. Well yesterday, he made it a point to come to the window and motion me to roll it down. He proceeded to say he looks forward to my husband or I coming to pick up, because we always wave and smile back. He said he appreciated us acknowledging him, waving back and making his day. Many parents ignore him waving and just go through the line.

First of all, he’s a teacher and we appreciate him. However, the littlest gesture of appreciation is all we ever need. When someone smile at you, smile back, it’s free and that’s their way of acknowledging you. Waving and saying hello is the easiest way to tell someone you are seen and heard. To ignore them, is rude and says more about you than them.

To know that your hard work and efforts are appreciated gives you the motivation to keep going and to help others. We’ve all felt unappreciated at some point. If not at work, in relationships or at home. How many times have we said, a thank you would do great. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO #BE KIND

So it’s not a cliche. Be kind… to everyone out there. It definitely will be appreciated. The kindness always come back around. If you want to be treated with love, care, kindness, and respect we must give it out in abundance. Have a great day!!!!! #BeKind

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”My goal is not to be better than anyone else, but to be better than I used to be.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

If we don’t like the way we feel, we have the absolute power and right to change it. If we want to do something or have a thought, goal, or dream we can make it happen. In no way are we supposed to be the same person we were yesterday, a year ago, five years ago, or 10 years ago. Growth is supposed to happen. Simply focusing on your growth, happiness, and journey is what will keep you at peace. My happiness is my responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility. Do whatever makes you feel at peace within, calming to wake up each day, and be safe emotionally. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS The truth is happiness looks and feel different for everyone. Hence, why we should keep certain things to ourselves. I was speaking with a client and she was telling how her and her husband wanted another child. Even though she received much push back due to her being in her early 40’s she still decided to proceed with her plans. She explained how she didn’t let other people comments and opinions sway her desires. Sometimes we have to keep in mind that some people are placing their limited beliefs they have for themselves onto us. Not everyone will understand your happy. They aren’t supposed to. Focus on you. Support others. Don’t compare yourself. Each day strive to be better and do better for you. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” – Khaled Hosseini

”The truth hurts.” I think we all heard this since birth growing up. Why? Because it really does hurt. When faced with the truth there are some tough decisions and choices you’re going to have to make. Those decisions will effect relationships, your finances, and life circumstances. We often avoid them because the unknown side effects are unbearable to think about. However, imagine the internal pain and sometimes physical pain we cause ourselves when trying to justify what we know to be a lie. We make excuses, blame ourselves, give empty boundaries and consequences, blame other people, outside circumstances, and eventually give multiple chances. We just keep adding commas when a period or exclamation point should have ended it. TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS The relationship, job, financial budgeting, goals, health, dieting, exercising, and many other things we move the goal post on. Yes it’s so much easier to deal with the truth on the front end than back end. It saves time, money, and heart ache. If we don’t take care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally we have mental breakdowns, stress causing health problems, lack of sleep, and poor habits. When saying I need a day off is so much easier. Getting that check up and catching things early or preventing is better than a diagnosis. Taking care of your home and vehicle maintenance is better than spending thousands of dollars on the back end. No matter what area of your life it is, facing the truth, acknowledging the truth, and conquering it head on will be better for your wellbeing all around. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!