There are certain things in life that we expect and want. However, there are a couple of things that we have to be ok with never receiving.
The first is an apology. I’ve come to learn and accept in certain situations an apology isn’t going to happen. If the apology has to be asked for then you probably better off not getting it. Some people may not see a reason to apologize for many reasons. Either they aren’t remorseful or they don’t see anything of what they did was wrong. Most likely if you have to explain or twist yourself so they see your point of view and hurt, then if the apology does happen you’ll most likely feel its not from the heart.
The best way to deal with that is to know your role, apologize for your part, if any, and adjust the distance in that relationship going forward. We all want the apology we receive to be genuine and from the heart. If it’s anything other, its going to create a spiral of emotional arguments.
The next thing we may never get is the void we feel from a particular person. This could be a parent, sibling, or partner. Who ever we may seek love, affection, and validation from that is missing, we have to understand it’s not going to happen. First of all, the time that you needed and wanted it the most has passed. Therefore, it won’t mean the same or weigh as much. Because the 8 year old in you is looking for something, the 35 year old won’t be able to receive it the same. And that is perfectly ok.
The best way to move forward is acknowledge what it is or was you needed. But don’t blame said person. Because guess what, if they knew better they would have done better. Maybe you are asking something from someone that they don’t have, can’t give, or never received it. Understanding the other persons background and story will allow you to have empathy. OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING Whatever it is you are lacking or seeking, give it away abundantly.
The last thing that we may have to be ok with never receiving is closure. When wanting closure or answers we have to be careful. Most often waiting for closure and answers are holding us hostage from moving forward. Questioning why and wondering about different outcomes is preventing us from learning the lesson and growing from the experience. We’ve heard it a million times, if God put a period on something don’t you go trying to make it a comma.
When you don’t have answers or closure, focus on yourself. How you can be a better person to yourself and others. Learning triggers and behaviors in others so you won’t put yourself in certain positions again.
There is a lot we are going to get out of this one life we have. On the other hand, we will lack certain things. Either way, we must know we are still worthy of all our hearts desires, hopes, and dreams. Of course each person or circumstance will differ. But these are three things that most of us hold our breath for.
Be you so you can be free.