MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” -@anxietypositive

This is exactly what I had to do this week. In my new position we’re given six weeks to hit 5 milestones. Each week is focused on one milestone. So by the end of the six weeks, you are a polished gem. Well for me I hindered my growth because I was looking ahead. Why? In my mind I’ve been doing this profession for years, I’m like I can do this, I’ve been doing it. Well not so fast. I kept missing certain points in milestone one, hitting two and three, missing four, and hitting five.

a person holding black and brown board

Each week we have a session with our assigned coach to help us. She kept asking me what can she do to help me. I kept explaining to her how I’d been doing it, how I was taught, and what helped me learn. Next coaching session, I still didn’t hit it. It was getting very frustrating and I began questioning myself, my abilities, and even my coach. Until after the last coaching session.

I had to tell myself. Humble myself. It doesn’t matter what you did before. How you did it before. Or the the way you were taught. This is how it’s done here. Adapt, reset, and do it. I need to focus on this way, their way, and their process. It wasn’t anything wrong with the coach. The process. It was me and my approach, attitude, and mindset. Once I did that, went back to work, and instantly there was a shift in progression. In our next session she said I can tell there was something different. 7 SELF REFLECTION JOURNAL PROMPTS

And it was. My performance was better. Higher. The process and day went smoother. I enjoyed myself more. I wasn’t dreading going to work.

What did I have to do?

Focus on week one, milestone one. They give us more than enough time for a reason. I only had to worry about the first step not the whole staircase. Trust the process. It’s a reason why there is a process, certain steps are in place, and it doesn’t matter how you did before. The focus should be on how it’s done now, why this process works, and leaning into this process.

It will save frustration, stress, and wasted time. So often we try to do too much too soon. Well that can hurt us more than going through the process itself. We hinder our growth. Send the wrong message. Delay our victories.

The key is to have self awareness. Enjoy the rest of you day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others have nothing to do with them. Each day you get to decide which one you’ll be.”- Jarrid Wilson

Yes, you’ve been hurt, treated unfairly, had an unfair chance at life in some circumstances, and may be broken. However, that isn’t who you are, have to stay to be, and have to own. While in the state of hurt, every trigger you have will be pulled. Why? Because you haven’t resolved or healed the pain and trauma from before. Until you learn what happened isn’t your fault and others that inflict pain, is projecting their own hurt, then you’re going to forever take it personally. No matter what is said or happen, you’re going to think someone is out to hurt you.

woman crying

The best thing to do is figure out where your hurt and pain comes from. For me it started out the blue one day asking myself a simple question: Why do I get so upset when someone assume or insinuate I’m mean, anti social, or harsh? That was a huge trigger for me. For starters I had to think back where that label came from and why it triggered me so much. Once I was able to understand the origin, who started it, and how it stuck, I was able to reconcile and let it go.

Ask yourself questions like what makes me upset, why certain people or situations garner a reaction, and how do you feel when you experience said emotions. Paying attention to how we feel when we are experiencing certain emotions will help our healing. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING

Once you learn your triggers, how not to respond, and redirect emotions you’ll be able to understand others better. You’ll recognize that they are hurt and having an episode themselves. Sometimes the only way someone can release their pain is to project on to others.

I can truly say from experience, me getting to know the why behind where my emotions come from has allowed me to be more patient with others and help them recognize their own unhealed pain. The best thing to do is to heal yourself to help others begin their own healing. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

16 THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN SOONER

When I was younger my mom used to tell me “when you get older you’ll understand.” I think we all heard that growing up at some point. Because when we’re teenagers and in our 20’s we know everything right. Well it’s some things that I wished were spoken to me sooner or I’d known sooner. They seem so simple and basic, yet it would have helped eliminate much tension, stress, and anxiety.

person holding note with be kind text

Things I Wish I Knew Sooner

-I will be ok and I will still live if no liked me
-It’s ok to say no to family and friends
-It’s ok to speak up, say how I feel, and express myself
-I am the only one in control of my life and career
-I control how my day goes
-Taking a break for myself and mental peace is essential
-Thoughts and attitude can change the course of your day and life
-Keeping my emotions intact and not reacting emotionally save heart ache
-I can start over as many times as I want
-I don’t have to be one thing, I can try and do everything that interest me
-Everything will work out
-No I could not have done more, I did what I was able to do with what I had
-You are suppose to enjoy life
-Sadness will come, bad days will happen, and I will get hurt
-I don’t need permission to feel how I feel
-Being different is good

Those are just a couple thoughts, feelings, and emotions I wish I knew sooner. Of course, when we get older and experience life certain things makes sense. Or, you’re more equipped mentally and emotionally to understand and process. Even now, that they are understood, doesn’t mean you may not have one of the above thoughts. That’s why life and happiness is a journey. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s how we handle the peaks and valleys of that journey. Don’t disturb your peace. Be patient, do what you can, and tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. Be well!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY

Not everyone that comes into your life will be there for a lifetime. Some people are just meant to be in your life temporarily. In fact, most are just making a pit stop into your journey of life. And guess what, that is perfectly ok. There isn’t a reason to get upset, sad, or lose sleep over it. In actuality, even those that are there for a moment, will drop some valuable lessons and gems before leaving.

letter cutouts on beige background

I just had this conversation with my son who’s a junior in high school. He’s beginning to realize some he thought was his friends really aren’t. Those who he thought would be there for the long haul has moved on to another destination. I had to remind him of how valuable and precious he is. Along with the best piece of advice I received when I first went to high school. That was “Your friends you have your freshman year, will not be your same friends your senior year.” That advice the teacher gave me could not have been more true. That statement holds true into adult hood.

As life flows so does we. Experiences and circumstances have us growing in many directions. So the friends you have in your 20s probably will fall off by the time your 30s roll in. When you hit your 40s that lightbulb gets so bright and your circle get even smaller.

The twist is, it doesn’t mean that you have this big fight or falling out. You just out grow some people. As we develop, we walk down different paths that put distance between us. Sometimes we circle back. Other times, we wave from a distance. Either way you’re going to be ok. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

Those that were your friends in the beginning can’t always go with you. As you grow they may not be ready to grow. So sometimes you’ll have to leave them where they are until you guys catch up, if you do. But the worse thing to do is stop your progress because someone isn’t ready to grow with you.

Love yourself enough to be aware and know who is meant to be in your life temporarily. Let relationships be what they are, not what you think they should be or hope to be. Many times we hurt ourselves holding on to some relationships too long. It may hurt letting some relationships fizzle out. But trust yourself and the process. Trying to hold on to a relationship that’s dead will lead to resentment, stress, frustration and loss of happiness. The pain of dead weight is worse than working the pounds off.

Give your authentic self. Know what you want and need out of each relationship you have. Be vocal. Have healthy boundaries. Love and show compassion. Finally having 2 great relationships is better than having 10 one sided unhealthy relationships.

Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”The way you think and feel about yourself determines everything that happens to you.”- @thejustbelievejourney

person holding note with be kind text

I saw this and couldn’t agree more. The older I get, the more I understand and know the importance of telling yourself good things and speaking positively to yourself. Also, what you think and tell yourself about situations and events in your life will determine how you travel through them. Definitely when faced with adversity telling yourself you’ll get through it and it will work out is the first thing you should say to yourself. That puts the thought and energy into your mind and body to let the situation take it’s course and remain positive. Staying busy to keep your mind off of it, and trying not to control the situation will help keep you on the positive track. On the other hand, when you have a victory or good news, it’s equally important to embrace it and enjoy your hard work. But don’t just stop there. God blessed you with what you asked for but don’t stop being humble and gracious. 9 REMINDERS OF BASIC SELF LOVE TIPS Either way, what you tell yourself in every situation determines your attitude, how the day will go, and how your life will eventually go. I know it’s difficult, but try to turn your negative thoughts and words into positives. Your mental health will thank you for it. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”- Brene Brown

woman holding a paper with the word confident

To be totally transparent I’ve struggled with setting and keeping boundaries. But as of lately, setting my boundaries have been the one thing that keeps me mentally sane. It sounds so harsh sometimes when we say to set boundaries, but the other side of that is someone using and taking advantage of you. I recently had a family member tell me they didn’t worry about anything because all they have to do is ask me for money if they need help. That triggered me so bad. The audacity to be comfortable to say, you’ll give me the money if I need it, just hit different. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Boundaries aren’t a bad thing. It’s you protecting your peace and space. Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you should give or obligated to give. Just because you have the time doesn’t mean you have to serve them in whatever way they ask. Boundaries eliminate others having easy access to you. You don’t have to make yourself available if you don’t want to. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY Lastly, when setting boundaries it doesn’t have to be in a nasty way. Simply saying you’re not available, and I’ll let you know when I am is good enough. And an explanation isn’t needed either. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

JOURNAL WRITING: BRAIN DUMP FOR MENTAL CLARITY

Sometimes there could be so much going on that you don’t know where to begin. Trying to keep up with work, family, activities, and yourself gets overwhelming. A good journal exercise to do is a brain dump. Just dump all your emotions, feelings, and questions into the exercise to free your mind up.

box with brain inscription on head of anonymous woman

Doing a brain dump in your journal every so often helps reduce stress and tensions. After dumping you’ll feel lighter mentally and emotionally. Thus, you’ll be able to get organized and accomplish some tasks. Big or small. Lastly, overall it provides perspective. Brain dumping lets you know what’s working, what isn’t, where you need help, and in what areas you may need to put a little extra time into. 10 FUN JOURNAL PROMPTS TO GET YOUR MIND OFF YOUR PROBLEMS

Brain Dump Journal Prompts

  1. What are my plans for Halloween?
  2. Have I started Christmas shopping?
  3. Have I created a Christmas list? Do I have a wish list?
  4. What are my plans for the holidays?
  5. What project have I started at home that I need to finish?
  6. Is my car clean?
  7. What meal have I been craving?
  8. What person have I not talk to that I need to, or has been on my mind?
  9. What do I need right now to make me happy?
  10. What is something new I want to try, buy, or do?
  11. Where do I want to go on vacation?
  12. How am I feeling about my job, work, or career?
  13. Is there something that took place that I was’t able to process?
  14. Emotions I’m currently feeling.
  15. When was the last time I balanced my checkbook, bank statements, and reviewed my finances and budget?
  16. What is the current status of my relationships: family, friends, work, or partner?
  17. When was the last time I went to the movies or out to dinner?

Those are just a couple of brain dump prompts to help you clear some head space. When journaling don’t just say yes or no. Or give an answer. Go into detail as to why you want a certain meal. How come you want to go to a certain restaurant or see a movie. I know it may sound crazy, but diving into the why is the true part of healing, growing, and learning about you.

Happy Writing!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

“How does the believe I must be loved by everyone to be happy lead to unreasonable expectations and feelings of depression?”-Unknown

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

looking for a friend bear

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Every fall is an opportunity to refocus.”- Anna Greenberg

green leafed plant

A major key to happiness is to not be afraid to fall. So often we don’t try because we’re afraid of “failing”. However, what hurts more than trying and failing, is to not try at all. Not trying at all will lead to a lifetime of suppressing, questioning, and trying to fill a void that only one thing can. So what if you tried and it didn’t work out. What’s the worst that can happen? Nothing. You learned what you like and what you don’t. You’ve gained knowledge, wisdom, and experience on what you’re good at and what you may need help with. Which gives you the upper hand the next time you do step out on a limb and fulfill your dreams. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER What are you afraid of? People laughing. Saying I told you so. Starting over. Other people don’t define you or your success. Having a fall doesn’t define you either. It actually show just how much stamina you have to get up again and again. No matter what you want to do in life, try. There is no harm in trying and falling. The most successful people out there have started many businesses before they knew how to be good at running that one successful business you see. Have a great Sunday!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 JOURNAL PROMPTS AFTER A BAD DAY

One of the best ways to dump a bad day is to journal about it before going to bed. Releasing and dumping all the bad from a day is great for you not to carry it over into the next. Also you will be able to have a good nights rest and sleep. Lastly, it will give you some insight on how to handle different emotions as they come again.

crop man showing diary with inscription in house

Journal Prompts For A Bad Day

  1. What went well today? Seems weird right? Well there is at least one thing that turned out good in that day, or any day for that matter. This gives you the opportunity to redirect your mind and focus. SELF CARE HABITS: 8 DAILY HABITS TO FEEL YOUR BEST
  2. What happened today that made me upset, cry, angry, sad, or hurt? Whatever happened or emotions you felt, explain them in great detail. This is your venting sessions. So let it all out.
  3. I responded or reacted to said emotions by doing…How did you handle the days events. Did you lash out at someone? Hold it in. Let it effect your work day. Explain.
  4. What did I learn? What did you learn from how you responded? What did you learn about the events that unfolded?
  5. How will I handle these emotions in the future? Are there any new triggers you learned about yourself?
  6. What do I need to let go of? Purge whatever it is you need to let go of. Do you need to forgive and move on.

Those are six journal prompts that always help me at the end of the day that I felt overwhelmed about. Try these journal prompts to help you get through your tough days or times. As always the purpose of the journaling is to get out the negative energy. One of the best ways to maintain a good mental and emotional balance, is to talk about your feelings, good or bad.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.