Just because you can handle the pressure and weight everyone places on you doesn’t mean you have to take it. The toughest and strongest of them all even needs a break. I know first hand how it feels to not want to let family and friends down, because they are counting on you. You often times feel obligated. Some of us have grown up to believe that no matter what, we’re supposed to extend and over extend because it is “family”.
Even in the workplace, you can get stretched thin because you’re so dang good, that your boss and everyone else asks you to handle tasks that isn’t your duty or responsibility. They’ve probably taken your kindness of helping them out that one time and ran with it. Now without thinking, they put “little” task off you that amount to more work. It seemly has became your duty because you’ve helped a few times and they’ve passed the buck. Less compensation. Little appreciation.
Now please note, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to help or be there for others. Those that are strong would love to have their loved ones show some love, care, and concern in return. Ask them how their day is going. What’s going on in their world. Are they overwhelmed. Do they need anything. Even it they say no, just the simple genuine ask means the world.
No one ever thinks it’s a problem or you’re stressed because you’re good add hiding your frustration. Or, you’re so nice and kind, they think you don’t mind. At this point so much time has passed that it’s almost impossible to let someone know you’re no longer available mentally, emotionally, or physically like you used to. Setting some boundaries for someone who hasn’t had any, can be difficult. You may fear rejections, lost of friendship, relationship, or even awkward work space. So you convince yourself over and over again you can take it. That only leads to resentment and dissolutions of relationship that may not be able to be repaired.
I had to learn to accept that just because I can handle it, I don’t have to take on that load. It is difficult to tell someone to keep that load to yourself knowing you can help or assist them greatly.
But if you don’t give yourself a break, no one else will. Set those boundaries upfront. Make it clear what you will do and how far you will go. We all know you are strong and you can handle what is thrown at you more easy than others. It won’t be a sign of weakness if you were to say, not today. I need to do this for me. Eventually they will get the hint.
Being mentally and emotionally strong, it is important to communicate your feelings. Those that are mentally and emotionally strong suffer in silence sometimes. They feel no one will understand them. Because everyone is depending and pulling on them, they don’t want to burden anyone with their stress. Or feel like they can pour onto someone that is in need themselves. People know you can handle it, so they don’t think anything phases you. And because they have no idea how tired you are, they think you’re made of cement. Remember we teach people how to treat us.
So if you are the one people go to, give yourself a break. You are still going to be strong. Setting limits and taking a break is exercising great strength. STRENGTH If you know someone who carries the weight of the world on their shoulders reach out to them. Check up on them from time to time. It will be greatly appreciate it.
Be you so you can be free.