6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME

On a daily we worry about things that are out of our control. We also give time, conversation, and resources to people and things that don’t deserve our energy. Hence, we end up disappointed, sad, angry, and frustrated because we didn’t get a return on our investment. Part of self care is realizing and prioritizing certain things that are worth our time and energy. Once we accept and acknowledge our worth, we’ll be able to manage and dedicate ourselves to people and things that serves us good.

6 Common Things That Waste Our Time

People pleasing. For some people, no matter what you do or give it just won’t be enough. It will seem as if the goal post just keeping moving. For those that are always requiring more of you, they are lacking in something you can’t fulfill. That is for them to figure out and make peace with. You do what you can within your power and limits. Also do what you want. Just because you have the time and resources doesn’t mean you have to exhaust them out.
Proving yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are. What you have, what you make, where you live, your job, or anything else. You are the only one like you that exist in this world. No matter how hard someone tries, they can’t be like you and furthermore, you can’t make yourself into something else. With where you are and what you have to offer, if it’s not good enough then they don’t deserve the air you breathe.
Holding on to anger. I was very good at holding on to a grudge and anger. Guess what? That did nothing for my mental and emotional wellbeing. The only thing I kept repeating was, “but you don’t understand what they did to me.” Letting anger go doesn’t mean the action didn’t occur. It simply says I’m not going to let that person or event continuously hurt me. Nor control or dictate how I proceed in life specifically in relationships. Letting that anger go is for you more than the other person. MOTIVATIONAL HEALING: LEARN YOUR SOURCE OF ANGER
Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. There is no way on earth anyone can be perfect. Trying to chase perfectionism robs you of your joy and enjoying the gifts you have now. Instead of living in the moment and appreciating where you are, it’s being overlooked. Also when chasing perfection we’re tying to present a version of ourselves that don’t exist. Be you. You are perfectly imperfect.
Self doubt, negative self talk, and overly critical. This does nothing for our emotional wellness. Sometimes we think being hard on ourselves is being humble or self motivating. Some of us are conditioned to not even pat ourselves on the back or celebrate our wins. It is very important to celebrate ourselves even the small wins on a daily. Believe it or not, we can put ourself down worst than anyone else. Talk good to you. Build yourself up.
Not forgiving. Yes, this is tough. But forgiveness is truly for you. You need to sleep at night. Move on with your life. Learn from the events and situation, so you can possibly see the signs and prevent it from happening again. Not forgiving, says so much about us more than the person that caused the trauma. They have to pay for what they did to you and you can’t say when or how it will happen.

Those are 6 things that I had to learn to let go in order to get to the daily life I envision for myself. With active daily practice and exercises, there will be a point you can live for you and not worry about what others think. However, when you get to that point, don’t stop. Keep doing the affirmations, journaling, prayer, meditation, and therapy that got you there. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Don’t let the concept of change scare you as much as the concept of staying unhappy.” -Timber Hawkeye

Why do we fear change? It’s the unknown of what’s going to happen. We aren’t in control. The fear of failure has us fearing change. We are used to our routine. The comfort zone we’re in, we psych ourselves out to stay in. But is continuing getting the same you’re getting better than trying something new. If we already are unhappy why not channel that energy and try something new. As we try something new and embrace change we are learning and evolving. We weren’t meant to be here and not grow. Change is good. Change is growth. Change is healing. Change is opportunity. Change is freedom. If you’re tired of the same ole same ole, ask yourself “what am I scared of?” Let go of wanting to be in control. Sometimes we have to release that control. So often what we think is best isn’t the best. Letting go and letting the universe guide you, will be more beneficial than you ever thought. The outcome will be greater than you expected. Embrace the unknown. No way we will ever be able to know everything. Going in blindly is the best learning experience mentally and emotionally. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE Don’t psych yourself out. You are smarter than you think. Braver than you think. Stronger than you think. Tougher than you think. Embrace change and grow through it. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

10 DAILY REMINDERS FOR A POSITIVE MINDSET

I’ve been working on my mental mindset lately. I know everything starts with the mental. What I think I will become. My mind controls everything down to my toes. It’s important to know and understand the power your mind has. Creating a positive mindset and having daily habits to keep it on the positive track will help for more happy days. Unfortunately, we just can’t wake up and say I have a positive mindset. The mind has to be exercised daily.

Here are my 10 Daily Reminders for A Positive Mindset

Keep your expectations low. The more you expect, the greater chance you’ll be let down. Expecting others to do what you do, give what you give, or respond how you’d respond will have you disappointed every time.
Boundaries save relationships. The more we let others cross our boundaries without consequences, the more anger, resentment, and frustration builds toward that person. Boundaries are not only healthy for you, but the other person as well.
You’ve survived every bad day you thought you had. With that sheer fact, you are a winner. So guess what, you can grow and heal through anything.
What you tell yourself matters. Think highly and abundantly of yourself. Instead of saying I am not qualified, tell yourself you haven’t accessed the skills yet needed. The words you tell yourself matters more than any one else’s words. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS
Each day wake up with the expectation that something good is going to happen to you, with you, and for you. Go into each day knowing you’re going to be blessed with something off your wish list.
You are equipped and have everything you need to be the best version of you. You don’t lack anything. You have been filled with what you need. You want to know why? There is only one you. No one has what you have or can be you.
Master the art of remaining emotionally calm. Do not respond emotionally. It will lead you astray. Our emotions are temporary. Therefore, we shouldn’t make long term decisions off temporary emotions.
It is ok to have a bad day. We all are going to wake up one day and just not be in the mood. As long as you don’t let that dictate your outcome. The next day is a fresh start.
Nurture you mind, soul, heart, and body daily. You have to take care of yourself inside and out everyday. Show yourself some love so you can give love and receive love.
Give yourself some grace. Be patient with yourself. You are doing the best you can with what you have.

Those are 10 daily reminders that keep my mental in a state of abundance. Consistently feed your mind with positive thoughts, images, and reminders to build that bank up. So when you do have a bad day, the bank is in overflow and you won’t lack.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”-Maya Angelou

It took me years to realize I mattered and I can and should take care of myself. Especially when I was a stay at home mom. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything, I should have anything, or do anything for myself. Every fiber was focused on my home and family. Until a couple times we were leaving for trips and I realized I had nothing to pack. I always made sure everyone has had everything they wanted and needed and never took care of myself. Then a light bulb came on. Me taking care of myself isn’t selfish. Buying myself something and making sure I feel good about myself will help my marriage and my relationship with my kids. To anyone having a hard time putting themselves first, DO IT!!!!! You are not selfish. You of all people are the only one who knows what you need, want, and desire. Furthermore, your loved ones will thank you for it. Taking care of you is letting others know how you want to be loved. We can’t put that burden on someone else to make us feel good and happy. That isn’t fair. But they definitely can encourage you to continue and support you through it. Our happiness isn’t someone else’s responsibility. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY In the same breath, we aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness. If you don’t take care of you, no one else will have an outline on how to be in relation with you. You owe you. Be good to yourself. Enjoy the rest of the day!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS: KEEPING MYSELF CENTERED

Over the last six months I’ve made a huge transition in my professional career and it has been a challenge finding balance with the schedule. I envisioned this position for a couple of years and now it’s almost as if I’m not really living in that vision sometimes. Trying to keep balance of being a mom, wife, the blog, and other ventures I had to really think, pause and center myself. Think about this new chapter, where I am going, and what I want to do.

But first there are some mental health reminders I had to activate and actively practice to get me to my understanding, self awareness, and peace with myself. As we grow and transition in life our mental and emotional health also transitions. It is up to us to be aware and recognize there are some mental health habits that needs more practice, some needs to be substituted, and others we may have to adopt all together.

There is power in honesty. The immense amount of power that you receive when you are honest with yourself can be overwhelming. I’ve come to know the more honest I am with how I am feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally helps me with the next step in recognizing the why. When you own your truth no one can abuse you or use your truth against you. I began to peel back the layers in why certain things were making me feel uncomfortable or why I may not have 100% locked in. Also being honest about what you want to do in life and not feel bad. My biggest hurdle was speaking aloud, even though I had this amazing position with great benefits, flexibility, and support, my heart was still yearning for the dream God placed in me. I’ve heard it a million times, once God places a vision or dream in you, no matter what you do or have, that dream or vision isn’t going to leave you. So now I am at a place to figure how to deliver on what was placed in me.
My happiness has to come from me. No one person, no amount of money, material things, or event can give me happiness. I have to be happy with who I am at this current moment, in this body, in this skin, in this home, with all the blessings I’ve been given. My happiness has to come from me knowing it is ok to dream big, have dreams no one understands, and that they can happen if I do the work. There is no such thing as I’ll be happy when….Everything that you have right now is what you’ve asked for. Now, is it ok to always want to grow, be better, do better and have better, absolutely. I know I have the right to do what makes me happy and I don’t need permission from anyone to do so. I was speaking to a client earlier in the week and she was a mature woman in her 60s. She was retired but substitute teacher part time and show homes for Redfin part time. In the middle of the conversation she says I can work when I want. I’m a little vain, I like to get Botox. She is happy living her life and doing what makes her happy. You have to be fearless when it comes to your happiness.
There is power in writing. Writing down your dreams. Vision for your life. Your fears. Your wants. Your desires. Whatever comes to mind, there is power in writing. I am an advocate for journaling. However, I now know the power in writing everyday. Sometimes I write 2x a day. An hour before work I sit down and write. No plan. Just pen to paper. The thoughts you can purge is gratifying. The prayers and conversation you can have speaking with God and writing your dreams down is powerful. I’ve heard many say writing is therapeutic, they are right. In the beginning I had no idea how to write, what to say, or where to begin. I purchased these amazing Inspirational Journals from the dollar store of all places and I haven’t been able to put the pen down. They are themed scripture based prompts for you to write. I read the verse at the top of the page and write down my interpretation in the spiritual sense, mental and emotional wellbeing, and in my lifestyle. For only $1, each day I can journal my way to peace and happiness. The themes are Truth, Joy, Courage, and Wisdom.

Those are three mental health reminders that I’ve over worked these last several months. My self awareness has afforded me great understanding and healing. Writing has been the best to get my honest thoughts out without judgement or embarrassment. Fearing no one will understand. And my understanding of knowing each day I am on a journey there is no destination to happiness. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s always evolving. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay

The one thing I know is, what we tell ourselves hurts us more than anything someone else says or does. You wanna know why? We believe everything we tell ourselves. Furthermore, we are very good at talking ourselves out of something. We can think of a scenario and situation in our heads and it never happened. Have you ever played out a conversation or arguement in your head? We’ve all done that at one point, “the next time I see XYZ and they say this, I’m going to say this.” Oh!!!! How many times have you started your day complaining about everything you had to do at work, how you didn’t want to talk to certain people, or how that coworker gets on your last nerves. Then you get to work, and the sheer sight of your coworker turns your smile upside down. Why? Because we’ve already talked ourselves into not wanting to have a good day or interaction. No matter what the situation or circumstance is, what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how our day and life goes. Sadly, we are very good at talking ourselves into a negative mindset. Don’t you think we can be even better at talking ourselves into a positive mindset. The last two weeks, before I even turn on my computer I write for 1-2 minutes on a notebook of nothing but positive thoughts, affirmations, and prayers. It’s not uniformed or grammatically correct. My intentions are to ensure I’m in the right mindset, positive self talk, and motivation. If you are experiencing too many negative thoughts try turning those into some positives. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS

Example of My Morning Notes:

I am fearless
I am brave
I am strong
I am a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and worker
I am good at my job
God give me the strength to replace any negative thoughts with positive
God thank you for keeping me so many times, thank you for saving me, thank you for my family and our health
I am in control of my emotions
I give myself grace

That’s what came to mind yesterday morning. Sometimes it’s less and other times it’s more. But every day, moment, and direction of our life depends on how we view it, handle it, and overcome. Most importantly it’s what we say to ourselves quietly that hurts the most. So those things you are saying that no one hears, turn those into positives and tell yourself good things. Have a great day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time. -John Maxwell

The one thing that I’ve come to know and understand is consistency. You hear it often when reading self help books, listening to podcast, and every motivational speaker has spoken about being consistent. Well I get it now. And it’s not so much of being consistent in just practicing mental health. But in every day life and in every aspect of life. Something as simple as, being consistent on flossing your teeth every day leads to better oral health. Thus preventing diseases and long term effects on your teeth and gums. We hear it all the time in skin care. Having a consistent regimen is key to healthy, glowing, youthful looking skin. Maintaining good eating habits and exercising regularly are always constant with being consistent. When at work, you have to be consistent to perform and produce. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES No matter what component of life it is, remaining consistent in the small habits builds character, stamina, results, health, and wealth. Yes, we all will stumble. But when you get back on both feet and are stable, remain consistent. Just because we stumble or see something is working for someone else, doesn’t mean we should try it or not continue to do what has worked for us. You know what works for you and what you’re good at. Stay consistent in your daily routine lifestyle habits. The fruits of your labor will pay off. Have a great day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE IS ALREADY IN YOU

How do I know what my passion and purpose in life is? I have no idea where to begin or find it. The good news is, you don’t have to find it, its already in you. You’ve probably had a glimpse of it more than once. But due to fear, lack of resources, finances, and fear of “looking crazy” to family and friends you probably ignored it for many years just like I did. I too would always ask “What is my purpose?” “What am I passionate about?”

The truth is that, I already knew. But because no one else had my vision, or it seemed far out, I didn’t act upon it, or pursued it. Finally, one day I watched Steve Harvey Motivational Video about finding your gift and knowing what it is. He said “your gift is the thing you do the absolute best, with the least amount of effort.”

So I’m telling you, your gift is the one thing you do without thinking, breathing, or blinking. You do it so well that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. When you are in your gift, you are at peace, smiling, eager to continue, you don’t want it to end, and when it does all you can think about is doing it again. JOURNAL WRITING: 10 QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF Acknowledging or figuring out your gift will help you understand your passion and purpose.

Yesterday I had to admit some hard truths after speaking with a client. She simply called in for some insurance. Upon having a conversation and trying to get information she revealed she wasn’t in the best place mentally due to the death of her father. Without warning I sprung into action, speaking life into her. I totally left the quote in place until we were finish.

For an hour and half, without thinking or remembering I was at work, I poured into her until I can hear a sigh of relief in her voice. Immediately, I encouraged her to not apologize for being emotional. I let her know it was ok to grieve and to do so on her own terms. As I began to pour into her, she began to open up and tell me how she had been trying to deal with the realization of her loved one passing. At one point, she even said “I can’t believe I’m opening up to you like this but I needed this conversation.”

SideNote: Sometimes talking to strangers about your honest and raw emotions is easier than talking to family and friends. You can be as authentic as you need to be to express yourself and feelings. When we sometimes talk to family and friends we tend to hold back because we don’t want the judgement.

That’s when I knew. The more we continued to bond and talk, the more I wanted to encourage, motivate, and support. The more she felt better. Her voice no longer trembled. Her tears began to clear. And she said she feels like she can find a way to live with her father no longer being here in the physical.

After hanging up, I was ready to do it again. Before I knew, I said, “That is what I want to do.” I literally began thinking of ways I can talk to people and encourage them in whatever they were going through. I was jotting down notes and things. The rest of the day my mind was brainstorming and thinking of ways I could do it again and again. Even now I’m still thinking about it.

Yes I have a great cooperate job with an amazing company, benefits, flexibility, and support. But still with that, my heart is wanting to help heal, encourage, and motivate. That’s how I know what my purpose and passion is.

Think of that one time or more than one, when you were completely sound mind, body, and spirit. And you couldn’t wait to do it again. That’s your gift, purpose, and passion.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”May your heart heal. May your past no longer block your view of the present. May you breathe again, laugh again, rest again, live again. May it be so.- Thema Bryant Davis

white and gray stone on brown wooden table

The hardest pill to swallow is realizing no matter what was done to you or said to you, is that you are the only one responsible to not let it hurt you again and again. No one can get over the pain and hurt for you. Even if you received an apology, it’s up to you to accept it and forgive. Our healing is our responsibility and it has to start with us internally first. We have the absolute power and control to heal. We first have to let go of what was done, who done it, and resolve that we can’t change it. What others say about us, do to us, or say to us says more about them than you. How you respond, react, and forgive says more about you. And that is the only thing we have control over. To heal your heart and be free, let go of the relationship you desired that didn’t get. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS That could be any kind of relationship. Let go of the betrayal and pain that has you hostage from breathing, laughing, and loving again. Allowing the past to continue to hurt us over and over is self sabotaging. That situation has past and that person has moved on. Make a decision to release and let go. Think about how you are no longer that person, you are not what they say you are, and you’ve made it no matter what circumstances was placed in front of you. Remove anger, guilt, shame, hurt, and tell yourself you are free. You are free to love, laugh, breathe, and live the life you desire. Do something each day to live for a better you. Have a great day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

23 NEW YEAR JOURNAL WRITING PROMPTS

The new year always bring some seasonal anxiety and depression. The pressure to have this grand resolution or fresh start can be overwhelming. First you don’t have to have those grand resolutions. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY: NEW YEAR EDITION However, it is normal to feel like you want to have an outline of intentions, thoughts, views, or feelings about the upcoming year. Growth is good. Change is good. And we should want to be better, think better, do better, have better, and live better. To relieve some of that pressure, do some journal writing to get your mind flowing with ideas.

New Year Writing Prompts

What do I need more of that I didn’t get last year or not enough of?
Write 23 affirmations about you, your relationships, career, health, and financial self.
What would I like to accomplish this year. (Vacation, family, Savings, Love, Healing, Growth)
What can I do to get out of my comfort zone?
What is my end of the year vision or where do I want to be at the end of this year?
What are some healthy habits I’d like to pick up?
What are some habits I’d like to drop that isn’t good for me?
When was the last time I went to the doctor, dentist, or had a checkup?
Is this my year to make an appointment with a therapist?
What can I do to ensure I’m financially stable this year?
Are there any loved one I miss or would like to talk to?
Are there any relationships I need space between?
What are some self care habits I can do to build my mental and emotional health?
How am I feeling right now?
My greatest accomplishment last year was?
The one thing I would like to learn from that happened last year is?
I would like to start, stop, and continue….
What are 3 things I need to prioritize?
What areas do I need to give myself some grace in?
What are things I need to let go of that are holding me back?
What are my intentions for myself?
How do I want to be loved or supported this year?
What can I do to be more loving and supportive this year?

Those are 23 journal writing prompts to help ease some of your anxiety. Be as detailed as possible. Take your time. As you write you’ll learn more about yourself, your desires, and goals. The more we write the more we expand and open our minds to endless possibilities. Happy Writing!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.