The one thing I know for sure, is we all want to be happy, love, and be loved. The one thing that holds us back is not being our true authentic self. We hear it all the time, to just be you. If we all could live how we want, where we want, and with whom we want, the idea of stress and anxiety would greatly diminish.
To just be you means to not go buy a house because your friend has. Be comfortable in your apartment or living with your parents. Just be you and take small staycations instead of a grand vacation. Own who you are in the style of clothes you like to wear. Just because your friends or family like certain stores, brands, and styles doesn’t mean you have to wear that as well.
Trying to keep up with what everyone is doing, what they have, and where they are is going take your focus off of you and your happiness. Furthermore, why spend money and stress yourself trying to fit in. You being you will allow you to stand out the right way.
If you have a bubbly or colorful personality don’t hide it because you feel no one understands. Be the life of the party if that’s what your heart desire. Secretly, those with quiet personalities enjoy your free spirit and is motivated by you. Happy Sunday AND LET GO
To just be you means don’t put yourself in any situation where you have to compromise your comfort, smile, personality, and energy. Not everyone is going to run to you and love you but that doesn’t mean you have to hide who you really are.
Remember you were created to be specifically you. If that’s the way God wanted you to be, then that is who you ought to be. If God says you’re perfect and enough the way I created you, then you are PERFECT!!!!!!! So go out there and be you. Those who are supposed to love you will, and those who don’t, bless them and keep going.
You will only win at being you. Don’t waste time, money, or energy trying to be something other than what you were created to be. Everyone else is taken. Just be you.
I love me a good quote. I have shared some of my favorite Iyanla Vanzant quotes below. I love her honesty and straight forward love. She gives it straight even if it’s hard to hear. A good quote is food for thought. Gives you a light bulb moment to shift your thought process into a different universe.
“If we celebrate, support, and nurture ourselves, we will not need anyone else to do it for us.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there. –Iyanla Vanzant
“The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“Stop squeezing into places that don’t fit you.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“You don’t get to tell people how to love you; you get to choose whether or not you want to participate in the way they love.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“If you don’t have a vision you’re going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you’ve already seen.“ –Iyanla Vanzant
“If somebody had the privilege and the honor of walking into your life, living and growing with you, and they didn’t have the good sense to stay, you need to be glad to be rid of them.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“We must inspire ourselves by believing we have the power to accomplish everything we set out to do.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“There’s no GREATER battle in life than between the part of you that wants to be healed, and the part of you that’s content remaining BROKEN.” –Iyanla Vanzant
“The journey into self-love and self acceptance must begin with self-examination…until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” –Iyanla Vanzant
What does a quote do for you? To me it’s not just a quote or words, it gives me a different perspective and a new way of thinking. Seeing things through a different lens gives understanding and meaning to help you or allow you to help someone else.
If we look around the validation we’re seeking is in front of our faces. You have already been validated. God sends you validation in many forms. We must hear and see in the spirit. As my grandmother would say when I was younger, if it was a snake, it would’ve bit you.
So often we look for validation when we’re experiencing different emotions. Or, we may seek validation when we begin a new venture of some sort. However, in my experience, the validation is already there.
The validation could come from someone you least expect. We often seek validation from family and friends, but God will send your enemy to give you a boost of encouragement. Don’t look at it as the person is being nosy or want something from you. God is telling you to go for it, because you are going to inspire the one person you least expect.
You have already been validated when you read that message that pops up on your phone. You know, the one that makes you say “hmmm” or “that is a coincidence”. That is God saying you have everything you need. You have been seeking from places that can’t give you what you need. GOD IS A KEEPER
When your friend or family member send you a inspirational message, that’s God saying you have been validated. He uses his resources wisely. If you come across a passage and it hits you differently, then that is your validation confirmation.
When I say validation, it could be you worried about switching jobs. Have you decided to move away and you are worried if its the right decision. You may seek validation from setting some boundaries and you want to make sure you’re doing the right thing. You could need affirmation to make a decision that would effect you financially. Just look, its already there. Any way you stand up for yourself and it scares you, its been validated already.
This thought of already being validated came to me when I was worried about if I made the right decision on something . But for several days, I came across messages and inspirational videos that let me know I was doing the right thing. Every morning for a couple of days, my morning message that I read, would have something to do with my decision. I had to stop and think to myself, this isn’t popping up by coincidence, this is God telling me to stop worrying, you made the right decision.
If you are struggling with a decision or feel you’re not receiving the validation you need, stop and look around you. I guarantee you, that you’ve been affirmed and validated. Get in tuned with your spirit. It won’t steer you wrong.
The other day I was walking with my husband and we were doing some reflecting on this past year as well as our 15 year marriage. The one thing that we always came back to was, God has kept us. God is a keeper. No matter what you go through or how bad a situation may seem, God has always kept us, you, and everyone else. How else are you able to sit here breathing and reading this. God has kept you.
What has God kept you from? When you were falling and didn’t hit that ground. He swooped you up right before you hit. There were times a bill or debt needed to be taken care of, God provided. It may not have been how you thought. Or, the resources come from the places we least expect. You’ve been able to eat everyday, God has kept you. Each and everyday you wake up, God has kept you. Let’s say the obvious, we survived an unpredictable year. God has kept us.
Most importantly there are many things God has kept us from and we don’t even know it. He has blocked us from so much without us knowing. In any event, you have overcome. There is so much you can probably say about what you’ve been through, but I guarantee you that there is more God has protected you from.
As we were reflecting on our walk, we agreed that trying to maintain control made issues worse than they should have been. I think we are all guilty of that. Trying to control and hold on to things that God has clearly said let go and let me handle it. Most often, we need to let go and let God lead us into the directionHe has set for us. Gods ways is better than ours.
If you find yourself going around in the same cycle, let go and TrustGod to lead you. He has kept you this long, He will continue. Move out His way and let his will be done. He won’t steer you wrong. Trusting God, you can’t never lose. Allow Him in to lead you. Let him keep you as he has done so many times before.
I just wanted to come to you all really quick and wish you a Happy Sunday morning, noon, or night. I hope you get the peace, relaxation, and joy this day has to offer before the start of the week.
It’s been heavy on me to express to those who are in distress or not, that there’s a reason and purpose for everything even in the toughest of times. Find your purpose for living. Even in the midst of storm my family is in following the death of my mother in law, I can’t help but to have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
While in the storm we are getting drenched, dirt poured on us, and beat down in the process. Stay present in the moment. Feel every drop of dirt, debris, and rain no matter how bad it hurts. We need the storms to grow and show us the true strength and power we have. My friends anything that is good for us needs dirt and water to grow. Plants, flowers, fruits and vegetables.
We will have storms, we can’t stop that. But its how we clean up that will make us stronger. How we learn and overcome, will prepare us for the next storm.
If you are sick believe that you are healed. If you are weak believe you are strong. You have been prepared and equipped for every storm. You have everything you need to withstand. At this moment you just have to access it through gratitude 🙏 and having Faith.
If you didn’t know it before, I’m here to tell you, single life is a blessing. Embrace and enjoy every minute you have with yourself. There is this misconception that being single is a bad thing and you’re not complete if you’re not in a relationship. Being single is a blessing and gift from God. One can actually have an amazing run at living the single life.
For starters, when living the single life you have time for yourself, to yourself, and by yourself. You don’t have to worry about sharing your time and making sure they feel wanted. Being single is a blessing because you can come and go when you please.
Single life is a blessing because you can invest as much time as you want into your career and achieve your goals so when you’re ready for a relationship you can have time for the relationship. Another benefit to being single is learning, loving, and getting to know you. The more you have time to be with yourself, the more you’ll be able to know exactly what you want in a partner and how you want to be loved.
One being single can have an amazing life. Just because a person is single doesn’t mean they are depressed, bored, and unhappy. When you’re single you can be your own companion and love yourself the way you want to be loved. Having dinner alone is actually a good thing. Taking a vacation and enjoying your time and fruits of your labor alone is a good thing. Yes, single people take vacations all the time and have an amazing experience. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY To All!!!
Relationships are hard work. I often tell people being married is a full time job, it is just as important if not more than the one that pays you. You have to constantly work at the relationship to have a long sustaining meaningful one. Sacrifice and compromise is one thing you don’t have to worry about when you’re single.
Single life allows you to be independent and won’t feel the need to have someone to make you feel whole, accomplished, or complete. Fulfill yourself with those things.
Once you know how to love yourself you’ll be able to show someone how to love you and you’ll be able to receive love. How you treat yourself is how you teach people how to treat you. Love on yourself so good that you’ll find amazing love with a partner one day.
Remember just because someone is married or in a relationship doesn’t mean they are happy and the relationship is good. On the other hand, just because someone is single doesn’t mean they aren’t living a great life or has less significance than someone in a relationship.
Being single is a blessing and gift from God. Don’t let your single life go to waste. Enjoy it.
Have you ever prayed for something and felt like you’ve been waiting for a while or it was never answered? Because we humans are emotional creatures, many times our prayers have been answered but we’re too in our head to realize it.
This lightbulb just went off for me recently. For many years I constantly said to myself and others I didn’t want a 9-5, Monday thru Friday job. The thought of doing the same thing over and over again, having no time during the week to handle business, and essentially a weekend that‘s non existent was something I wasn’t interested in.
Welp, I ate those words. Now don’t get me wrong I love being in the professional world, contributing to an office, and using what I’ve learned and went to school for. Balancing books, spreadsheets, financial reports, and budgets makes my heart flutter. However, I had so many other interest I wanted to pursue.
Recently I was honest with myself and husband in saying I no longer wanted to do a 9-5 because I wanted to pursue some other ventures. I knew I could pursue my gifts whilst making sure my family didn’t feel any effects financially.
Pre COVID-19 my attitude and emotions toward my professional job changed. I enjoy what I do, however staying until 5PM was beginning to weigh on me. I began feeling like my time was better suited at home taking care of my kids, husband, home, and personal ventures. Yes, many others would love to sit idle and make “free” money. So often I would tell family and friends I feel unproductive and I’m wasting time by sitting here.
They would respond in telling me that it’s easy, free money. Well I wasn’t happy just sitting there doing nothing knowing deep down my mind was elsewhere. So my happiness and eagerness every morning dwindled as time went on.
Now COVID-19 had come and the world went to a shut down but we continued to work through it. I was given the pleasure to choose what shift I wanted because only one person could be in the office at a time. Well that was a nice gift right there but I couldn’t receive it as a gift at that time. So anyway, I chose the 7am-1pm shift. I am a morning person. I was excited to have time to work, take care of my family, home and still have time to pursue what I wanted.
I fell in love with this shift and after weeks into the months I couldn’t envision myself going back to a nine hour day. I remember standing in my kitchen telling my husband I would love to stay on this shift because I was seeing my vision for the life I wanted to live begin to form.
Well literally God answered my prayers with in a week. My boss came to me with a proposition of remaining part time on my shift so he can bring back an old friend full time. When he approached me I felt insulted and unappreciated because he used the fact that I valued being a mom to get what he wanted. All the while it was what I wanted as well. Because it was packaged in old wrinkly wrapping paper with no bow I didn’t realize the amazing gift that was being handed to me.
Needless to say I felt every emotion. How dare he to proposition me like that. mind you I just told my husband I wanted to stay on this shift of 7-1. So I reluctantly agreed and instantly went into my feelings.
I was angry that I was doing a full time job on part time hours. While the other person enjoy doing nothing. Remember what I said a little while ago, about how being there until 5pm, I felt like I was wasting time.
Eventually duties began getting taken away and they let it be known their preference on who they wanted to handle certain duties. Once again I’m in my feelings y’all. Because these gifts aren’t being wrapped in pretty packaging with bows I wasn’t realizing God was giving me the shift I wanted, taking away duties so I wouldn’t feel like I was doing another person job, and answering my Prayers.
Now school has started and I need to be available before and after school. Well I was once again given the gift of “let me know when you want to come in and what hours you want to work”.
No joke I literally make my schedule and work how many hours I want. At one point I was given a compliment of how I get more work done in 5 hours than a normal person does in 8 hours. I was grateful for the compliment but because these gifts I was “given” was wrapped in old paper I couldn’t fully appreciate it.
Because they would say things like, you’ve got us to a good place but we want her to handle it now, I felt some type of way. Or, you really good at what you do, but she knows how I like things done. Then I got, if you ever want to go back full time let me know because you come first. All the while I was thinking, if I’m your first priority, why are you choosing someone else over me? This was God giving me exactly what I wanted. When I spoke to my husband that day in the kitchen, God heard my cry, and delivered.
God was answering my prayers, while polishing my character and making me stronger. Letting me know, it’s not always going to be pretty. Trust in the Lord and His Will shall be done.
OMG!!! I am blessed and had to look back to see how every prayer was answered. I literally got everything I asked for. I love being a mom and wife, taking care of the house and making sure they have the time, energy, and love they need to succeed. I also love having the ability to pursue my interests and hobbies that makes me, Me. I love being able to work outside the home and provide.
Guys this has taught me to get out my head and get out my feelings because if not I would’ve missed or even lost some blessings. Just because things aren’t answered how we want them to, when we want them to be answered, and who we want God to use doesn’t mean that our prayers isn’t answered.
To Cry To Laugh Take a day off Not answer the phone Eat Cake Say you’re tired Feel anxious To Change your mind Let go and be done Feel Sad Feel Nervousness Experience an episode of depression Want to splurge and purchase something Need a vacation Want a vacation Like being alone Move to another city, state, or country Switch jobs or careers Disconnect from the world from time to time Say No Say Yes Ask for what you want Feel how you feel Be who you are Protect yourself…or others Be different Look different Try something different Want to just do nothing Be confused Start over…more than once It is ok to not be ok
S-Seek the “why”. When we are feeling hopeless, down, and in despair so often we can’t put our finger on how we ended up there. But figuring out the why, how, and what will lead us to the beginning of healing. We can’t pick ourselves up until we understand how we got to where we are.
T-Trust your instinct. How many times have we ignored our gut or went with the second choice instead of the first? Don’t let yourself and others talk you out of what you feel is right.
R-Recharge and reenergize yourself. After so long its easy to get into a slump. But find a way to get yourself back up and ready to fight. The more simple the better. A hot shower, nice walk, and a phone call to a friend will put you in a mood to get up and give it another try.
E-Experience every emotion you feel. When we allow ourselves to feel no matter how much it may hurt, we gather so much strength. If we always run we won’t know our actual strength that we possess.
N-Navigate at your own speed. Run your own race. One of our biggest mistakes is allowing others to dictate when we should get over something, do something, feel something, or just be.
G-Grind it out. Nothing in life that is worth having comes easy or free. Put in the time and work needed to achieve your dream or goal. What you put in, is what you’ll get out. Even if you only have an hour or 30 minutes, use that time to do something.
T-Talk yourself out of it. Talk to yourself aloud while doing housework, driving in the car, or working out. This has been a great tool for me. Have a conversation with yourself and think those thoughts through.
H-Hold on to the good. Even in the most difficult times we can learn a lesson or pick up something. For that matter, we can even learn something from the one person that hurt us, pick up the good and leave the rest.
There is no doubt the best time of the year has approached us, ‘tis the season. We already see Christmas decorations in the stores as well as Thanksgiving. In a normal year, holidayseason can be stressful for some, but in this trying year of 2020 the stress, anxiety, and pressure can be even more suffocating.
Now more than ever is all the more reason to remember what the holidayseason is about and to remember we all can still have an amazing, loving, joyful, and meaningful holidayseason.
Being grateful for just making it to another holidayseason is reason enough to get up and smile. There are many families this year that have experienced some unthinkable pain and loss. When I was growing up we were taught that holidayseason is important because there are some people that aren’t here this year that was here last year.
Use this time to get together with family, if its safe of course, and enjoy just being together. There isn’t anything else in this world that’s more important than laughing together, taking photos, hugging one another, and breathing in the same air. Just think back almost nine months ago when we had no idea how we would make it through this year.
In my family, we use holidays as a way to gas our tanks and fuel up to get through the year. Sometimes we just need those couple of days to not think about work, finances, troubles, schedules, meetings, school, relationships, or whatever else is weighing heavy on us. Being around loved ones allows us to remember who we are, that we are loved, and we’re not fighting this fight alone. As long as we have a meal and everyone arrived safely, we could careless about a gift . That is our gift.
Yes this year many people are out of work, experiencing financial difficulties like no other, children are home schooling, some don’t know how they are going to pay bills, or where the next meal is coming from but guess what you still can have a faithfilled, enjoyable, and happy holidayseason.
It isn’t about how much you spend on a gift or even if you gift at all. The gift is the joy of being together. It is so much truth and value in the saying “eat, drink, and be merry”. Start by creating an atmospheric presence in the home. Make your home inviting with decorations and scents of the season. Set a mood of calmness, peace, and relaxation for everyone.
We are in the time where DIY is the best decor. Have the kids and the whole family for that matter get creative and put some personal touches of gratitude throughout the home. Years ago at my office we came up with a chain of gratitude. We cut strips of construction paper about 2 inches in width, in holiday colors and passed them around to every employee including the CEO. The instructions were to write down things we were grateful and happy for. Next we would link them together to see how long the chain could grow and for the entire holidayseason we hung it around the office. It was amazing to say the least and to walk in everyday and just see what others were grateful for and how far they’ve come through the year was inspiring.
Candles are always a great way to set the mood. Get some hot chocolate and whipped cream, Netflix and chill, and take photos. Document the journey.
Use the technology that’s available to you. Have family Zoom meetings. Talk about what each other is cooking, how was school or work, and connect. Staying connected in some way will keep everyone spirits high.
Don’t stress about gifts. Give what your heart desire. Give what’s in your budget. And guess what, if thats nothing more than a phone call to say I love you and I miss you, then thats worth a million. Give a gift of commitment to engage with the family more.
Fill your heart by volunteering, donating time, money if you have the means, or serve a meal in your community. Trust me, this is a gift. In the end you’ll be filled with so much gratitude.
Remember to be thankful, you’re alive, breathing, appreciate this moment, there is a lesson that 2020 has given us, and live in your truth. Don’t worry about what others are doing this holidayseason.
Laugh, Smile, Eat, and enjoy each other.
Be you so you can be free.
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