To Cry To Laugh Take a day off Not answer the phone Eat Cake Say you’re tired Feel anxious To Change your mind Let go and be done Feel Sad Feel Nervousness Experience an episode of depression Want to splurge and purchase something Need a vacation Want a vacation Like being alone Move to another city, state, or country Switch jobs or careers Disconnect from the world from time to time Say No Say Yes Ask for what you want Feel how you feel Be who you are Protect yourself…or others Be different Look different Try something different Want to just do nothing Be confused Start over…more than once It is ok to not be ok
S-Seek the “why”. When we are feeling hopeless, down, and in despair so often we can’t put our finger on how we ended up there. But figuring out the why, how, and what will lead us to the beginning of healing. We can’t pick ourselves up until we understand how we got to where we are.
T-Trust your instinct. How many times have we ignored our gut or went with the second choice instead of the first? Don’t let yourself and others talk you out of what you feel is right.
R-Recharge and reenergize yourself. After so long its easy to get into a slump. But find a way to get yourself back up and ready to fight. The more simple the better. A hot shower, nice walk, and a phone call to a friend will put you in a mood to get up and give it another try.
E-Experience every emotion you feel. When we allow ourselves to feel no matter how much it may hurt, we gather so much strength. If we always run we won’t know our actual strength that we possess.
N-Navigate at your own speed. Run your own race. One of our biggest mistakes is allowing others to dictate when we should get over something, do something, feel something, or just be.
G-Grind it out. Nothing in life that is worth having comes easy or free. Put in the time and work needed to achieve your dream or goal. What you put in, is what you’ll get out. Even if you only have an hour or 30 minutes, use that time to do something.
T-Talk yourself out of it. Talk to yourself aloud while doing housework, driving in the car, or working out. This has been a great tool for me. Have a conversation with yourself and think those thoughts through.
H-Hold on to the good. Even in the most difficult times we can learn a lesson or pick up something. For that matter, we can even learn something from the one person that hurt us, pick up the good and leave the rest.
Conversations that aren’t meaningful or add value to your life, you won’t engage in. Sitting around the table listening to people gossip just gets under your skin.
You begin to pay more attention to what others are saying and doing. Are the actions and words aligned with your values? How they show up in the world and to you is well noted. You begin to value character and integrity more.
Aren’t afraid to ask for help or say you don’t know. You’ve come to a point in life to know and understand you don’t know everything and that’s ok, but you aren’t going to act like it either.
Respectfully speak up for yourself. Turning the other cheek and letting things slide isn’t going to continue to happen.
Understand the importance of getting ahead of situations and problems. Having a proactive mindset as opposed to a reactive mindset.
Stand firm in your position and will not put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Saying yes to get it over with or not to hurt others feelings isn’t something you’re willing to do.
Taking time for yourself, self reflection, and constantly wanting to be a better person is a priority.
Prefer small intimate gatherings inside opposed to going out to large venues with crowds.
The well-being of others are important to you.
The small stuff doesn’t get to you and shift your mood.
No longer feel guilty about taking a day off or taking time out to take care of yourself. You understand that taking care of yourself isn’t up for negotiations.
Don’t worry about trying to impress others with “what” you have. The labels on clothes and shoes doesn’t mean a thing to you. As long as you are comfortable you’re happy. Just not interested in keeping up with the Jones’s.
Sleep is important, essential, and a priority.
What you watch on television, music you listen to, and what you give your time to is well intentional.
The desire to learn and attain knowledge is what you become.
F-Forgive yourself first. Forgive yourself for everything you are feeling guilty about or regret. Whatever you said, done, allowed, ignored, or encouraged forgive yourself. Forgiveness is for you not them. Remember why you’re worried and losing sleep they are enjoying life while you carry this useless burden. Forgiving doesn’t mean you agree or you aren’t remorseful, it simply frees you and allows you to move forward.
O-Overthinking ruins your mental and emotional wellness. Overthinking also ruins our relationships, keeps us in our head, effects our ability to be productive at work, and our everyday life is greatly compromised. Trust yourself, make your decision, and forgive.
R-Regrets are useless. We can’t take back what was said or done. We can’t get time back either. The best thing to do is apologize if the misunderstanding was on our behalf, understand why it was hurtful, and grow the relationships from there. If the misunderstanding was on the other side, express why you were hurt, if they apologize, great kiss and makeup. However, if they don’t that’s even better, because when we express to someone how they hurt us and they don’t apologize, they have let us know how we show up in their life. Forgive them anyway, and have a relationship at arms length.
G-Grudges effect you not the other person. Holding a grudge is like a kid constantly picking the scab off. The road to healing and forgiveness is prolonged. Also you are the one spending time and energy going out of your way trying to stay angry and thus making excuses for why you’re staying angry. Your sleep, eating habits, daily life, and wellness is all effected by holding a grudge.
I-Interrupt the bad or negative patterns of behaviors. We talk about what we want to do so much sometimes you just have to “get off the pot or piss” as my mom says. Stop talking about it and do it. That negative talk about yourself or others for that fact, interrupt the pattern in mid sentence. Bad sleeping habits, eating habits, language, or anything that you want to stop or get better with just take the leap and start. Forgive yourself for letting so much time go by.
V-Victories are won when we let go and forgive. It’s a victory for everyone. The tension is released, everyone is smiling and feel like themselves again. Benefitting from forgivenesses stop us from walking on eggshells. The muscles in our jaws are relaxed, the wrinkles in our foreheads are smoothed, and we’ve loosen the lips. Our frown has turned into a smile and we can show our beautiful faces again.
E-Express yourself some way. Show your personality in art, fashion, music, writing, dancing, makeup or whatever you love. While we’re shy or thinking people may talk about us for being us, that is the one thing others need to see about us. You never know who you may inspire or how free you may become. The more colorful, wierd, or extreme it is the better. Do it unapologetically.
F-Freshen yourself up. It’s amazing what a new haircut, outfit, new makeup, or facial will do. When we spend time on ourselves, it gives us a new look and confidence that we need to put some spunk in us.
A-Attract what you want. We are what we attract. That is in friendships, romantic relationships, finances, positive vibes, and in your spirit.
I-Increase the love you give yourself and others.
T-Talk and tell others how you feel. If we don’t express how we feel then our loved ones won’t know we need their ear, heart, conversation, and love.
H-Hope fuels faith. Always hope for the best. Even when things don’t pan out how you wanted them to or right away, having hope leaves us with the expectation that everything is going to be alright.
L-Learn. Read, listen to podcast, and watch videos. If you have a hobby, or interest in something learn as much as you can about it as often as you can. In life, we can never stop learning.
I-Imagine your future and make it happen. You can create and live the life you want.
F-Feel the pain. So often we want to push it away and pretend it isn’t there. If we embrace it and figure out why we experienced that emotion it will lead us to healing and a better version of ourselves.
E-Entertain that crazy thought or dream. If we imagined it, then we can achieve it. The crazier, more far out, and the more scary dreams are, the more rewarding and life fulfilling they will be. Remember we only get one shot at this thing called life.
F-Finish what you started. Turn that thought into ideas to create a plan. Develop those ideas into a project. Design that project into a business. Whatever “it” is that you started or thought about starting FINISH it. It could be school, moving, weight loss goal, changing your hair color, or anything that was placed upon your heart.
E-Explore the world. When we travel and learn about different cultures it allows us to see life differently. It doesn’t have to be overseas, travel to a city or small town you never been to. What do they eat? Where does the dialect come from? We will have a better understanding of people. Of course right now staying safe and healthy is important.
A-Award yourself regularly. It doesn’t have to be something big. But we know you have a family and other responsibilities to take care of, however you should enjoy the fruits of your labor. Each time you get paid do something for yourself.
R-Release any tension, frustration, or aniety you may have. Find a way to let go of what was, what hurt you, or who made you mad. Holding on to that continues to hurt you not them. LET IT GO!!!!
We all have that one thing that makes us smile, calms us when we are angry, and won’t get tired doing. It could be collecting something, sewing or knitting, or having a hobby like drawing or gardening.
Well for me my “thing” is makeup. I can sit and watch video after video on makeup tutorials. I can wonder the aisles of the store for hours examining the shade range, packaging, scent, names of products, and anything in between.
For me though it isn’t about the makeup itself, it’s about the action of purchasing it, taking it home, and trying it out in many different ways to see how I look. The look or outcome of the makeup is always beautiful but thats when I lose my enjoyment. I enjoy the application process of it. It’s something about me blending foundation, applying mascara, and putting on lipstick that makes me feel good. The thought that I’m taking the time to enhance my beauty or see how different I would look with certain products is liberating, fulfilling, and makes me smile on the inside.
What’s your thing? Don’t ever be afraid to tell someone what your pass time is. That is what makes you unique. That is your gift. Something you are great at, constantly find ways to get better , educate yourself on, and never get tired doing that is you.
Most of the time we don’t realize our “thing” is what we need to tap into to fulfill ourselves.
I used to be one of those who thought journaling or writing things down was useless or ineffective. A few months ago I decided to go and purchase a journal. Even after I purchased the notebook, it sat on my table a while before I put the pen to paper. Boy, I’ll tell you when I did it was like drinking a cold glass of cucumber lemon water on a hot summer day. It was so liberating and I can feel every brick that was on my shoulder being lifted. Every worry, negative thought, and bad feeling just left my mind, but most importantly my body and spirit.
I wasn’t going to make a specific commitment or had any idea of what my process was going to be.
The first thing I noticed in keeping a journal is I’m more aware. I can specifically point out why I got upset or why something hurt my feelings. In turn I am able to let it go and not steal my joy. The more I journaled, I noticed how I was able to communicate better not just with my husband but with my children and family.
Coupled with being more aware I noticed I’m more sympathetic to others and express empathy more. Being in tuned and having my emotional health stable allows me to be of great service to others. I can connect with others more and encourage them through their journeys . Using my journaling therapy to help others has given me a new sense passion to motivate others to be the most fulfilled.
It doesn’t have to make sense. For so long I thought when you journal you had to have correct spelling and grammar as if an English professor is grading it. Many times just jotting down my thoughts or feelings at the moment is more therapeutic than writing two pages. Sometimes its not a whole book that we need to read to get the message, in the same token a couple of random words may be the only thing that needs to be released.
Never say there isn’t anything to write about. I used to always think “what is there to write about”. Well guess what, there is plenty. Just picking up the pen and writing down the first thing that comes to mind is the best. Before you know it you may have several pages of purging.
I’m happier and doesn’t let things weigh on me. I’m not going to say things doesn’t bother me anymore but boy do I let it go quickly now. I don’t let people throw their trash to me and I keep it. Honey I’ll either let that trash fall and keep walking or simply laugh and keep walking.
You don’t have to do it everyday. I let my journal writing come natural to me. In doing this I noticed how much more relaxed I am and its ok if there is a shuffle in the schedule.
These are just a few things I’ve noticed in a couple of months. Journaling is something that is personal to you. If you are not in a good space, feeling depressed, having anxiety, or worried about what’s going to happen next I encourage you to begin journaling. Writing your thoughts down, being as angry as you want, as honest as you want, and completely vulnerable is the best free therapy you can have. It doesn’t have to be perfect or make sense. Just release the negative energy to make room for the positive.