How do I know what my passion and purpose in life is? I have no idea where to begin or find it. The good news is, you don’t have to find it, its already in you. You’ve probably had a glimpse of it more than once. But due to fear, lack of resources, finances, and fear of “looking crazy” to family and friends you probably ignored it for many years just like I did. I too would always ask “What is my purpose?” “What am I passionate about?”
The truth is that, I already knew. But because no one else had my vision, or it seemed far out, I didn’t act upon it, or pursued it. Finally, one day I watched Steve Harvey Motivational Video about finding your gift and knowing what it is. He said “your gift is the thing you do the absolute best, with the least amount of effort.”
So I’m telling you, your gift is the one thing you do without thinking, breathing, or blinking. You do it so well that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. When you are in your gift, you are at peace, smiling, eager to continue, you don’t want it to end, and when it does all you can think about is doing it again. JOURNAL WRITING: 10 QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF Acknowledging or figuring out your gift will help you understand your passion and purpose.
Yesterday I had to admit some hard truths after speaking with a client. She simply called in for some insurance. Upon having a conversation and trying to get information she revealed she wasn’t in the best place mentally due to the death of her father. Without warning I sprung into action, speaking life into her. I totally left the quote in place until we were finish.
For an hour and half, without thinking or remembering I was at work, I poured into her until I can hear a sigh of relief in her voice. Immediately, I encouraged her to not apologize for being emotional. I let her know it was ok to grieve and to do so on her own terms. As I began to pour into her, she began to open up and tell me how she had been trying to deal with the realization of her loved one passing. At one point, she even said “I can’t believe I’m opening up to you like this but I needed this conversation.”
SideNote: Sometimes talking to strangers about your honest and raw emotions is easier than talking to family and friends. You can be as authentic as you need to be to express yourself and feelings. When we sometimes talk to family and friends we tend to hold back because we don’t want the judgement.
That’s when I knew. The more we continued to bond and talk, the more I wanted to encourage, motivate, and support. The more she felt better. Her voice no longer trembled. Her tears began to clear. And she said she feels like she can find a way to live with her father no longer being here in the physical.
After hanging up, I was ready to do it again. Before I knew, I said, “That is what I want to do.” I literally began thinking of ways I can talk to people and encourage them in whatever they were going through. I was jotting down notes and things. The rest of the day my mind was brainstorming and thinking of ways I could do it again and again. Even now I’m still thinking about it.
Yes I have a great cooperate job with an amazing company, benefits, flexibility, and support. But still with that, my heart is wanting to help heal, encourage, and motivate. That’s how I know what my purpose and passion is.
Think of that one time or more than one, when you were completely sound mind, body, and spirit. And you couldn’t wait to do it again. That’s your gift, purpose, and passion.
This week I decided to set myself some expectations. Each day I wake up and get so into routine and habit that I forget to just be sometimes. Yes, routines and habits are good. However, living and just being is equally important. Also I’m trying to check some gifts off the list that the kids gave us as well as for others. Lastly, still settling in on my new position and not let that take too much of my mental space.
Sunday: I slept in. Late summer I transitioned into a new position and it has tested me to no end. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY It was a little rough Friday, but after a pep talk and break I was ready to go. This weekend I realized I needed to give myself some grace and relax. My routine became so solid that I really hadn’t been giving myself a day off. Saturday and Sunday I would work around the house, do errands, and clean. Before I know it, I’ve literally worked 7 days a week. So the goal this weekend was to give myself some days off. It started yesterday when “I let the day come to me.” Thus continuing today. I’m not “working” today. It’s the sabbath. I’ve already went and got me a latte. Now I’m going to sit down and watch football. Later in the evening left overs was on the menu, I worked out, and finished relaxing. After giving myself permission and grace to relax not only my body, but my mind I’m ready for the start of the week.
Monday: I’m going into this work week still giving myself some grace. Instead of trying to hit my 5 milestones I’m going to focus on the one ahead. I’ve made the mistake the last two weeks trying to accomplish every milestone at once. We are given six weeks to accomplish them, however in my mind I have to accomplish them all at once. Because I know I can accomplish them I’m just rushing myself to get there. But anyway, morning routine went well. Temperatures are extremely cold. However, my teenagers don’t believe in winter coats and it pains me. Later on today we are expecting our first couple inches of snow. Of course we’re getting sleet first, then freezing temps, and then full snow flakes. Which makes road conditions terrible. After work, I decided to do a quick tidy round up because I’m trying to preserve weekends off, for that, being off. So in my mind if I do a round up 20-30 minutes after I get off I’m good to go. During that time I had dinner cooking so when I’m done, I could workout and turn in early. My plan for the evening went as planned, however I stayed up a little late watching the snow fall. It was the pretty soft snow flakes. We ended up getting more than expected.
Tuesday: Waking up to the first snow day feels weird. It doesn’t feel like it’s that time of the year but it is. Morning starts off great and heading into work I’m feeling good. I decided to take off after lunch time. It’s something my husband and I do every so often. We’ll either take a full day off together or a half a day. Just to be together. Typically do our coffee run at our favorite cafe. Had a meeting that went pretty well at work today and made some plans for the near future. School wasn’t cancelled even though we received more snow than expected. It’s still cold and the older I get I can’t handle it like I used to. After work I decided to do some errands, cook, couple loads of laundry, workout, and I was able to turn in by 9. Lately I had to give myself a bed time or end time. I chose 9pm. Whatever isn’t done, said, or happened has to wait until the next day. So far that has been working for me. The only thing that has my hands itching, is my desire to put up my Christmas decorations. For some reason Christmas is getting out there early. The commercials, Black Friday ads and sales, and some has started decorating their homes, has me wanting to put mine up. But I’ll let thanksgiving have its time.
Wednesday: So the last couple of days I’ve been have trouble with congestion at night and in the morning. It is the most nerve racking thing. But other than that, my mornings have been great. Each morning I make sure to put myself into a state of doing what I can and not over working myself. The kids have a half day today. We’re finalizing our Thanksgiving plans this week as it quickly snuck up on us. After work I made a quick errand to pick up the rest of my husband birthdaygift. The kids were in relax mode and didn’t want to hang out. After he got off work we decided to go make some errands and visit my aunt before it was time for my son to get off work. We have been doing great so far, even started Christmas shopping early. I decided to give my body a break and not work out. Later in the evening after leaving my aunts house and picking up my son, I took me a hot bath, read a couple articles(I’ve been enjoying great inspirational and motivational articles on mahogany.com), and put head to pillow.
Thursday: I’m giving myself some grace today and taking the second half of the day off. It is my husband birthday. He has a meeting so I’m going to get the kids from school and prepare for dinner. We have dinner plans tonight as well as parent teacher conferences. Work went well. I had a great meeting with my coach today. Making the decision in my mind to change my mindset, has really helped me transition fully into this position. It’s still brutally cold out. But later while waiting for my husband to return from his meeting I folded some loads, did a quick tidy around the house, and prepared for the weekend. Later in the evening we had a great dinner. My husband enjoyed his gifts and a night out. Once back home we had cake before capping the night off to bed. This last couple of weeks I’ve added some tips, tricks, and items to my night routine. The family as a whole fell ill to the seasonal bug. For some reason mine has decided to linger and I needed help to relax and breathe at night. Dr. Teals Aromatherapy Sleep Wellness Candle, Dr Teals Body Wash with Pure Epsom Salt Sleep Bath with Melatonin and EssentialOils, and oil diffuser with Eucalyptus oil. Those combined has helped me relax, get some sleep, and rest. The body wash I usually use as bubble bath. I typically would light the candle about an hour before I plan to lay down right before my skincare night routine and bath/shower. That way the candle has had time to fill the room.
Friday: It’s a great morning as we round off a good week. The kids are excited because they have an entire week off for the Thanksgiving holiday. However, my oldest son isn’t feeling the best. But he wants to tough it out because he has a couple of tests today. He still thinks he can go out in single digits every morning with just a hoodie on. So far my work day is great, my meeting with my coach is great, and I’m settling into my position. The plan is to clean this weekend to pull out the Christmas tree. I like to have the tree out for about a week before decorating to let it naturally fall. Later in the evening we decided to get some dinner and relax. The kids wanted to relax and it’s still brutally cold out.
Saturday: Again I’m giving myself some grace. I aloud myself to slowly wake up and get out of bed. I usually get up, get dressed, and get to working on my weekendroutine. WEEKEND SELF CARE TO DO LIST I always like to use the weekend to do little projects like clean a closet, clean the fridge, clean out cabinets, or shred mail. Along with doing the usual cleaning around the home. But today I said I was going to give myself some time to let the day come and do what I can. That’s exactly what I did. It felt good and I was able to proceed with the day as it came. However I was able to accomplish getting 2 more Christmas gifts. I have this goal to be done shopping kinda early. Because my kids are older the list is smaller and all they want to do is hang out. One of the biggest things I’m learning in my new position is to set expectations. We set expectations with clients, with supervisors, coaches, and in meetings. My expectations I set for myself this week was to give myself some grace. Get a couple gifts checked off the list and stick to my cut off time at night. I’m glad I was able to accomplish that without guilt. If you’re wanting to make some adjustments or change some habits set yourself some expectations. I’m ready to head into next week with some expectations.
Have a great week!!!!!!!
P.S. Weekly blog is designed to show the realistic day in the life of a mom, wife, and working professional balancing life, the kids, work, marriage, and herself.
-Be you no matter what. Whatever situation or circumstance you’re in, remain true to you. If you are feeling sad, anxious, nervous, excited, or happy center yourself in the moment.
-Don’t let this moment pass you by without living in it. Accepting the now and knowing you are growing and progressing allows you to understand you better. Living in the moment give you the ability to be self aware. Self awareness is a key to healing and growth.
-Trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself. You know how you feel. Don’t let others opinions talk you out of your feelings, thoughts, or views. Your experience is valid. How you feel is valid. Trust yourself to be yourself.
-Leave the past behind. You can forgive. Of course you won’t forget. However, you can learn, grow, and heal through it. Don’t be bitter, angry, or resentful. Those negative emotions only hurt you.
-Baby steps are ok. Yes, we want to reach our goal or get to our destination, but each step along the way is there to teach us something. Even the bumps in the road are there to helps us for something in the future. One step at a time.
-Get creative. Don’t ignore your desires, passions, interest and hobbies. It is perfectly ok, to have interest in more than one thing. The key is to not start them all at once. Also make sure you see them all the way through when you start. Even if you find it’s not really your thing.
-Become the person you would want to be around. If you are needing to heal and correct some bad habits, then do so. We all have short comings. Knowing where we need to improve will allow us to be better for our family and friends.
-Be good to your mind and body. Taking care of yourself inside and out is the best freemental therapy you can do for yourself. No matter what you’re feeling focus the energy on you. 10 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY When you put time into yourself you’re processing the emotions and not placing frustrations out on someone else.
-Have fun. You were put on this earth for a purpose and live. Don’t let this life go by without laughing, taking risks, and experiencing joy. You deserve it and have a right to have fun.
Those are 9 self love reminders that I attempt to do on a daily. Not all reminders or habits will be exercised everyday but a couple each day is great practice. Even if you just hit one or two self lovetips, you are making progress.
This week is all about balancing work, home, and all the kids activities. Not too much going on until the end of the week. Either way my goal is to be as productive as much as I practice self care and rest.
Sunday: Slept in of course. Have to have a day to get a little extra sleep. After brunch I kinda let the day guide me. I didn’t have too much housework to catch up on since I did that all yesterday. Also I wanted this to be a chill day because we went to a football game yesterday afternoon, and after sitting in the sun we’re all drained. Later in the afternoon I decided my plants needed some maintenance. You know, cutting dead leaves, watering, and turning. Finally I capped the evening off with watching football and going for a walk. I achieved my goal in turning in early.
Monday: Off to a great start of the week with drop off. This week is a slow one until the end. I’m getting quite adjusted to this work from home full time. I actually enjoy my day and have plenty of interaction with coworkers. It’s moving and coming along better than expected. I also have been doing a pretty good job at balancing work and home life. After drop off and before heading to work, I had to package up some Poshmark packages. This was a typical Monday for us. School, work, meetings, and an uneventful night cap. Just the way I like it sometimes. Can’t have everyday of the week booked to capacity.
Tuesday: So today started off a little different. The morning drop off went great. However, I had a little moment at work. Nothing happened in particular, but I had a moment of doubt that I can’t do this. After about 15 minutes of second guessing myself and literally thinking of a way to go backwards, I had to give myself a pep talk. I stepped away from my computer went to the window prayed, talk to myself, and got back to work. I posted some affirmations on my computer as daily reminders. I’ve been good and ready to go since. After that, I had to schedule some midterm conferences for my daughter. Her school likes to an 8 week conference update with parents just to check in. Which I think is a good idea. Later in the evening I had to head out for a walk and clear my head.
Wednesday: It’s an early release day. The kids get out of school 2hours early. Now there is a shift in the schedule. But as always, we’ll adapt. The kids doesn’t have anything planned, they actually said they want to come home and relax. Before picking up, I spent my lunch preparing an early dinner for them since I had to go back to work. My goal is to clean and tidy up when I get off since tomorrow and Friday evening we have plans.
Thursday: This was a gloomy day. My husband has been having some back pains. The allergy flare ups have been hitting everyone in the house and we’re happy it’s Friday eve. Had a pretty good day at work today. Everything is clicking, I’m getting into a groove, and having a great time interacting via Teams. My plan is to have dinner ready by the time the kids get home and tidy while I’m on lunch. Due to us having to leave quite early for the homecoming parade downtown. One of the local high schools here is kicking off homecoming season. After the parade, there is a pep rally at the capitol stairs.
Friday: Friyayyyy!!!!! T.G.I.F. TGIF: SELF CARE IS ALL AROUND YOU I’m ready for today and get done with work to start the weekend. The kids are in rare form because of tonight’s homecoming game. During my break and lunch hour, I decided to cook and clean to ensure the house was ready before we left. Also I just like to make sure when we come back, all we have to do is run to the shower. Great start to the day. Everyone had a great day at work and school. Thankfully it isn’t too humid tonight for the game. Off to the game we go!!!!!!
Saturday: We all slept in except for my husband. He had to go open the store and my son is heading to work this afternoon. The game was amazing, everyone had a great time, and we’re ready for next weeks game with the rival high school. After brunch I did a good clean and put up some more fall decor that I found at Hobby Lobby. After cleaning all day, I did a good deep condition on my hair, worked out, and waited for the fellas to get off work. It was a perfect chill Saturday afternoon.
Have a great week!!!!!!
P.S. Weekly blog is designed to show the realistic day in the life of a working mom balancing family, work, life, and herself.
Most of the time we’re overwhelmed because we’re busy trying to fulfill other commitments to family, friends, and coworkers. Show up for yourself like you show up for others in your life. We feel obligated because they’re our children, spouse, boss, parent, sibling, or friend. Not in a million years do we want others to feel like we don’t want to be bothered or we don’t have time for them. But giving your all to everyone else in life, only leaves you with crumbs to feed yourself. You deserve more than that.
To show up for yourself first, take moment to feed oneself (literally and figuratively), and not being available is perfectly ok to do. If you don’t feed you first, how are you going to feed and pour into others. What do you have to offer them? Surely, not your best. You not even giving you your best self. And, guess what, it’s not even selfish to show up for you.
Will some in your life get angry, upset, or their feelings hurt, maybe. But they’ll get over it. Think about this, is it not selfish for someone to expect you to put them first over your own self? But on the other hand, that’s where communication comes in. Just give someone a call and say “hey I’m not really my best so can I come see you tomorrow?” Or, I got done with dinner late, I’ll call you tomorrow.
Sometimes we’re not able to communicate on the fly. After you’ve had your moment, you can call and say, “you know I’ve been a little overwhelmed lately sorry I missed your call.”
Either way you’ve communicated that you had needs for yourself to take care of. Most of the time we’re stressed and drained because we are trying to making everyone else feel whole. We’re not even whole and trying to make someone else whole. SELF LOVE: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
The next time you feel like you’re stretched thin, and can’t get any help, everyone is pulling at your leg, take time for yourself. However they are expecting you to show up for them, reverse and show up for yourself. You deserve it. Your overall wellbeing is depending on you.
Practicing self care is all the buzz right now. However, there are some unpopular opinions about self that may help someone out there who is struggling to get a handle on this thing called self care. As always, do what works for you. Engage in activity and self love practices that brings you joy and peace. I thought I’d share some unpopular opinions about self care.
You don’t have to wake up at 5a.m. If you are a night person, then sleeping in may be what is best for you. As long as you get a good amount of sleep. As well as, be the most productive you, you can be. If you are a 7a.m. Person that is perfectly fine.
Along with waking up at 5a.m. You don’t have to exercise that early either. Me personally, I’m an evening workout person. It best suits me and I get the job done. The goal is to get in some kind of physical activity daily to ensure you’re taking care of that part of self care.
Donuts, chips, candy, ice cream, and cake you can have. You don’t have to deprive yourself of sweets. It’s called moderation. Enjoy life, and the sweets it has to offer. You know what you can handle and what you can’t. So the next time you’re on vacation enjoy all the food that is offered.
No one said you have to have 2-3 jobs to be successful or productive. If your one job is great and you love it, it takes care of you and your family then you are good. Juggling many jobs or side hustles isn’t for everyone. There is this thing called life you still have to enjoy.
Working a 9-5 is ok. Not everyone is an entrepreneur or wants to own their business. Don’t feel the pressures to create a business or become an entrepreneur. Make sure you love what you do and enjoy going to work everyday.
Journaling isn’t for everyone. Not everyone has the patience to sit down and write out their thoughts. Or feel the need to purge thoughts. It’s perfectly ok, if you don’t journal, have no interest, and isn’t your thing.
You don’t have to have a master plan or grand vision. Waking up and living life as the day come is amazing in itself. Actually, doing this will lead you to what really makes your heart flutter.
Social media can be a good thing. Not every aspect of social is media bad. Find what works for you and leave the rest. Moderation and filtering out the negative is key.
Those are just some unpopular opinions about self care and self love. Hopefully, this will help some not feel so pressured, confused, or overwhelmed when finding their routine. Remember to enjoy your one life. Go at your pace and enjoy the journey.
”Pay attention to what you’re saying about yourself. You’re going to become what you’re continually saying.”-Joel Osteen
Everything begins with the mind. The thoughts you think will eventually become your actions and reality. Be mindful of what you say aloud to yourself, in conversation, and in your head. Speak into existence all the goodness you want out of this thing called life. 5 REMINDERS ABOUT SELF LOVE Tell yourself you’re beautiful, smart, confident, a good person, parent, friend, worker. Also speak abundance into your life. Love, finances, relationship, opportunities, health, wealth, and healing. Don’t speak on the negative. Speak as if it’s already been done. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!
This week is a typical mid summerJuly week. With schedules, activities, and memos coming in for back to school making appointments and setting calendar reminders are my goal. Outside of that we don’t have much going on except staying cool in this triple digit weather.
Sunday: All I wanted to do today was relax and just be. My son had to go to work and that left the younger two with me and the hubs. I got laundry done and a little tidying done. After words I spent time bing watching ”See No Evil” on ID Discovery. Lastly, after an early dinner, I decided to go out and walk in nature. It was refreshing, cleansing, and sticky all at the same time. I obtained my goal in primarily staying off my phone this weekend. I intentionally left it on the counter and didn’t have the urge to pick it up.
Monday: Oh the work week has started. I’m feeling good this morning and ready to be productive. My hope is when I get to the office I’m able to have emails and voicemails to take care of. Well….my hope for a little business today went out the window really quickly. But I ended up having a great day at work with it just being the 2 of us (another agent). The importance of having adult woman conversations can’t be valued enough. After work I plan to wash my hair, again. Do a little housework and then relax.
Tuesday: I had a good morning and afternoon to start the day. Left the office early to get my younger 2 so my oldest can head off to work. After running some errands, I got into a mood and cleaned house, changed linen, and did some laundry. Before working out, I made some plans for back to school since we’re beginning to get notifications and emails regarding sports physicals, supply list, and fundraisers. Later in the evening I had time to manage some Poshmark listings, go over some edits, and finally went outside for a walk. Stayed up pretty late since my son didn’t get off until 11p.m.
Wednesday: Starting the morning early with breakfast and coffee with the hubs. Was able to listen, read, and watch content to help me get through some emotionalhealing with my mother. However, the information rec’d was very informative, helpful, and gave me the motivation needed to move forward. (I haven’t spoken on the relationship with my mother and I much, however when I find the right words I’m sure it will come out. It’s very difficult for some to understand because it’s mostly emotional trauma.) Later in the evening I decided to do a midweek clean, laundry, and take some notes.
Thursday: It’s hot and humid out. Spent the day working on calendar stuff and schedule as I begin to get in school schedules, activites, and calendar memos. With the 3 kids, keeping up is a task in itself. Along with my son being ”safety kid” this year. My son had to work this evening so we baked cookies and relaxed until the evening. Had a really good workout today. I’m proud of myself for the last couple weeks been sticking to no sugar, carbs, or alcohol. I’ve noticed a difference in my energy, skin, and body.
Friday: Good start to the morning. Made a couple of errands before heading off to work. It was a little eventful at office. But I was able to get the kids sports physical scheduled. I’ve been coming in all week cleaning and doing laundry. So tonight I think I’m going to find something to binge watch and relax. However, before I do, I did have a chance to publish MY NATURAL HAIR LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP. I will probably still decided to go out for a walk and get a good release in mentally and emotionally.
Saturday: A typical sleep in morning for me. Had an amazing conversation with my brother and nephew this morning. Off to a great non eventful Saturday. Spent time daydreaming, enjoying my coffee, and then eventually binging on Netflix. Later in the evening we’re headed out to do some errands and grab a couple of items. Finally, the hubs and I had a great conversation outlining how we’re going to proceed with back to school, upcoming fall season, and goals for the second half of the year.
Being blessed to have a life to live isn’t a bad thing. It’s how we play the cards in our hand at the time. God didn’t put us here to be miserable, sad, angry, or depressed. He placed us here to do His work. We all have a mission from Him to complete. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK
Ok, so it seems like every hand that you’ve been dealt has been bad and you can’t make anything out of them. Well maybe we need to figure out the lesson in what God is trying to tell us. If what you’ve been praying for hasn’t changed, maybe God isn’t changing the situation because there is a lesson there you need to learn before he can move you forward.
Simply changing our attitude toward a situation, person, or even money can help propel us forward. Switching or adjusting your perspective can help you see a little more clear. So those cards that you can’t do anything with, change your perspective and attitude about. Switch them around in your hand, take a risk, and play them differently than last time.
How we handle the bumps in the road, will determine where we go, how far we go, and if we go. If faced with the same bump twice, don’t go over it the same as you did last time. Take a different route. Choose a different speed. Switch the avenue in which you decide to get over the bump. Also not everything that ”happens” to us, is for us to tackle. Check out this book ”Living A Loved Life” https://amzn.to/3zwQ0GO that is filled with inspiration and motivation to help us tackle this thing called life.
Life doesn’t happen to us, but it’s how we play the cards that are dealt. Remember no two hands will ever be same. We will have challenges and situations that occur that we don’t like, but it’s about learning, adjusting, and conquering. The challenges we face are there to teach us, motivate us, and prepare us for the next. It’s up to us to listen and learn.
As you prepare for the week ahead, remember to stay calm, don’t respond or react emotionally, and allow yourself to have a moment. Rely on your meditation, journaling, routines, exercise, and community for support. #SundayFunday