We have to motivate and believe in ourselves on a daily. We all have ups and downs. Hence, why daily motivation of some sort, is important for our wellbeing. Just like we have to bathe daily, eat daily, and work daily, we need to believe in ourselves on a daily.

This came to me in a recent conversation with someone who is absolutely amazing. They have worked hard to hold the top position at their company. They consistently educate themselves on how to get better and provide better service to their company. On the other hand, they are well respected, liked, and looked up to. Their opinion is valued. When they go to conferences or company wide gatherings, so many people are happy to finally put a face to all the good things they heard about this person.

Sounds good right?!

Well, said person has anxiety because they feel the need to live up to the others expectations. They feel they owe everyone extra work just becasue they were given a compliment. I said, ”you don’t owe anyone anything because they gave you a compliment.” They feel because they’ve received so much praise and admiration they owe someone something. Also, having the need to constantly receive a compliment or praise is something they look for.

We are never going to live up to others expectations and beliefs about us. Receiving compliments and admiration is great, but having our own expectations for ourselves is the only thing that matters.

I had to tell them, your hard work, respect, and work ethic is recognized. As it should be. Isn’t that why we work hard. Now that your hard work has been recognized, you don’t owe anyone anything. If you’d like to continue to challenge yourself and be better then do so, but not for everyone else. Be proud of your hard work. Many people don’t even get an oucne of recognition. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Know you are valuable. There is something that you bring that no one else does. Believe in your experience and knowledge. Others are supposed to notice and recognize the good in you.

However, it could be shouted down from the roof top about how good you are. But if you don’t believe in yourself, nothing they say will matter. You will constantly seek that admiration, compliment, and approval. Also don’t diminsh your accomplishments and hard work. 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

This had me thinking. Some of the most successful people in this world shows up and delivers, yet they feel like its not enough. You are enough. What you offer is enough. Believe in yourself and the talents God placed in you. You won’t have all the right answers or get everything right all the time, but what you do have, is enough.

Believe in yourself. Simply!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


There have been a few changes I’ve noticed about myself. At first I wasn’t really paying attention but then I know I’ve grown because of certain lifestyle habits.

The first thing I noticed of how I’ve grown is I have to have desert right after eating. Also the sheer desire to even have dessert is unusual for me. I never really been a sweet eater. But my tastes buds are changing. I used to give people the side eye when they’d eat desert right after a meal, but I’ve come to enjoy dessert more right after. Now when I say dessert, I am talking about a slice of cake or pie. After breakfast a warm cinnamon roll is so good. In turn, chips and candy I have no desire for. My tastebuds have clearly matured.

The next one I noticed is I’ve become more focused, stressed, and obsessive about making sure my home is comfortable and inviting. Of course I used to clean all the time, but I focus more on energy, aroma, and comfort. I enjoy being home and it should be the place where my family feels most peaceful. On a daily I try to create an environment of peace and calm. Furthermore, when people come over I want them to experience a sense of peace for a moment.

Another way I’ve grown and is shocking for me, is I will purchase “just because” flowers. I never really was a flower person, but as of late having some fresh colorful flowers in the house is natural happiness. The colors creates a visual sense of joy. The scent is calming and adds fresh aroma to the house. And the smile they bring to your face every time you walk pass is contagious. Purchasing yourself some flowers just because is a quick way to boost your mood, spirit, and self esteem.

The older I get it seems the more my scalp gets dry. I’ve had to completely switch my hair routine because the dryness is out of control. I’ve always had dry skin, but never really scalp dryness. I can remember the days my mom and grandmother used complain about their scalp. Now here I am grabbing all the moisture I can get.

Lastly I know I’ve grown because smooth jazz is my preferred music of choice. Outside of gospel and a podcast I really can relax and enjoy smooth jazz. Listening to it in the car, at my office, while I’m cooking, and at night has become very relaxing to me. The days I used to dread riding in the car with my elders and listening jazz, has now become my kids. It’s amazing how the tide turns.

Well that is just a few things I have noticed lately. As a part of my self care, I intentionally make it a point to be in tuned to my being. I want to be consciously aware of my body, mental, and emotional being. I enjoy being able recognize the differences and how I grow and mature. Life is a journey.LIFE…We Only Get One We are forever going to evolve. I don’t want to regret not enjoying the process and being in the moment.

Growth is a process.


Be you so you can be free.


Feeling down on yourself, I’ve been there. Boost your self esteem with these simple tips. They are free and simple. The transformation starts on the inside and then moves to the outside. Our mental and emotional is very important. However, the outside must match the inside. The insecurities we face about our looks can heavily effect our mental and emotional health.

The first thing to do is not compare yourself to what you see on television, internet, print, and every other place that is filtered. No one body is perfect. Nor is their skin perfect. Accept every ounce of weight, stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkle, pimple, and big toe. Side note: The big toe was for me. My second toe is bigger than my first toe. And, I have a six head not a forehead. But who cares. The key here is, our flaws is what makes us unique and stand out from the rest. I know for me, I want to look like me.

Once you’re able to love all of you, you can then dress and style yourself to your body. There are many clothing brands out there. Find the right style, comfort, and fit for you. If you are worried about your shirts, start with having the right bra. Sometimes having a bra with full coverage makes a world of difference. It’s the simple things that we can correct that will make a huge difference. If you’re worried about your mid section, don’t buy low rise nothing. That only makes you accentuate areas you don’t want. The point is to learn your curves and work with them.

After that, boost your self esteem with a hair cut, color, or style. Sometimes we can hold on to a style and it will make us look more worn out that we are. Refresh with new hair to give yourself a new attitude. My philosophy is ”it’s only hair, it will grow back.” My hair is usually the first thing to change when I need a shift change or mood booster. Short, long, curly, straight, black or highlighted I’ve done it all. Recreate yourself and see yourself into a new light. How To Boost Your Confidence With Daily Self Care

Get out of a funk and boost your mood by just window shopping. Get out of the house. Go to a mall or store and just browse. Walk around and get outfit ideas. Figure new ways to decorate your home. Look at different foods for new recipes. And what do you know, you’ll see someone you know. Have a great conversation and forget why you were in a funk in the first place. On the other hand, you just might find a stranger and have a conversation. Either way you have opened your mind and heart to receive some good energy. I’ve done this many times to boost myself up.

Feeling down on your luck, get dressed up and dolled up to do nothing. This is the easiest self esteem boost tip you can do. Unconsciously, I’ve done this and didn’t realize it. I’ll wake up and before you know it I’m walking around on Sunday morning in a face full of makeup. But the rest of the day, I’m happy. Every time you walk pass a mirror you enjoy looking at yourself and that instantly boosts your self esteem.

Lastly, if you’re not in a good mood accept an invite. We get so used to making excuses and not accepting invites that we’ve forced ourselves into loneliness. Just because you’ve never been to an event like the one you were invited to doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it. You never know who you’ll meet. I received job opportunities by having lunch with someone.

I know the best thing to do is to get up, get out, and move. Make yourself look good, so you can feel good, and then be able to receive good. When our self esteem is low, we aren’t able to see good in anything. When in actuality, the good is there. There are many more ways to boost your self esteem. But start with what you have to boost your self esteem and then build up. We have to shift our mind to focus on the positive.


Be you so you can be free.


There are simple easy self care habits you can do daily. There are little things I do on a daily that keeps me in a good mood. So often we think self care has to be expensive or on a grand scale. It’s the little daily things that gives me peace. In no particular order here are some daily self care tips that I do everyday.

  1. My night routine is very calming and soothing. 🛌 At first I didn’t realize it was a routine until I sat down to think about it. Before I begin, I make sure that I have done everything needed for the kids and my husband because once I start I don’t want to be interrupted. I pull my hair back and begin the process of removing makeup if I wore it that day. Makeup Free For A Year And Loving It 💄Then I take my time and wash my face. The process of getting rid of dirt, oil, and grime of the day makes me feel good. Next, I put on my facial mask. While my mask is drying I choose the soap or body wash of my choice. After that, I make sure to have my towel, robe, and slippers handy. All while doing this I’m praying and thanking God 🙏 for the day. Most of the time, I have some kind of music or YouTube video playing in the background. Finally, I hop in the shower and was the day away. This mentally, physically, and emotionally prepares me to get into sleep mode. My mind is clear and ready for the next day. The key to this is to take your time. When I get out I lotion 🧴 my body and put on a little perfume. Mental unwind.
  2. Everyday I give myself an hour to do nothing. 🧘🏾‍♀️This usually happens after I drop the kids off to school and my husband is off to work. I come home, sit on the couch and do nothing. No phone near by, not a television on in the home, and not a light on in the house. I sit, sometimes drink my ☕️coffee at this time, and day dream. Let my mind rest. Often times I pray, release emotions, and clear my spirit. This helps me maintain a sense of calm and peace. 🎆
  3. Take an hour to watch one program a day. 📺 After some reflection, I realized there were days where I hadn’t even looked at a TV. So I made it a point to take a moment and watch at least one hour of television a day. This is another way I decompress. Get my mind off everyday tasks and things I want to do. This forces me to take a break.
  4. Without question, I literally light a candle 🕯 everyday. This is something that soothes my sense of smell and gives a calming effect. It’s almost like the beginning of unwinding my day. Ok, I know I’m in for the day, so it’s time to begin calming the atmosphere.😌
  5. This comes as a no brainer, I always have a cup of coffee ☕️ or tea. Random Fun Fact About Me As a mug collector, the act of choosing my mug and getting myself into a mood sets the tone for the day. Once again, this is something that gives me 5 minutes ⏱of the day to be one with myself. Enjoy sipping and thinking about whatever I want is great for mental and emotional health.
  6. Walk 🚶‍♀️on the treadmill. Even when I’m tired and don’t feel like it, I will hop on and do a walk. This is my form of meditation. Once I put my ear buds in and listen to music, I have drifted off to never land. I can sweat and release all kinds of energy. Especially if I’m angry, upset, hurt, or overwhelmed, a good walk relaxes my mind and helps me to stop thinking about bad thoughts. 🙇‍♀️ Once I’m done, I feel lighter mostly mentally and emotionally.
  7. Read an article. 📰 I’ve committed myself to reading an article a day. Most often now, it’s reading another fellow bloggers posts. Sometimes I find great articles in magazines or just random one’s online. But I like to read some kind of article, particularly of an area that I have no interest in. This is to expand my mind, vocabulary, and exposure to other things. Forcing myself out of my comfort zone. My favorite time to do this is at work, to avoid any office drama. I can zone out and read. Self care habits are important to maintain at work as well.
  8. Without question I’m going to listen to some type of 🤲 motivational or inspirational message. I begin my day with a message and sense of gratitude. However, it’s common for me to listen or read more than once a day. I have to keep my spiritual gas tank full. That is my source of strength and fuel. Even when I’m having an amazing day, that is the best time to pour into your spiritual tank.

Those are just a couple of daily habits I noticed that keeps my mood uplifted. No matter how little or big a habit is, it’s how it makes you feel. The ultimate goal is to find daily habits that inspires, motivates, and uplift you either in good or bad times. You don’t have to feel anxious or depressed to engage in daily self care habits. I guarantee you, as I did, if you look at your daily lifestyle, there are somethings you do everyday without even knowing it. Those are your self care habits. Do whatever makes you feel good on the inside.


Be you so you can be free.


I bet there are many people who see self care as stressful and complex. In actuality it isn’t. Self care looks and feel different for everyone. Everyone idea of self care is different and unique to them. On the other hand, there are some who don’t even practice self care. Let’s be perfectly honest, not everyone is suffering from depression, anxiety, or mental fatigue. Nor do you need to suffer from anything to practice self care.

If you aren’t a morning person then you don’t have to wake up at 5a.m. If your morning begins at 7a.m. or 10a.m. then that is perfect for you. Whatever your schedule is and what your schedule allows you to do then do it. Most people wake up at 5a.m. to get things done uninterrupted. Many people use that time to get some alone time to themselves. But if your alone time is at night then that works for you. As long as you get the proper amount of sleep and rest. What Self Care Is NOT

A great self care activity is reading. However, not everyone is a reader. I can read a book like clock work, but my husband not so much. He prefers to read several articles or passages. Either way he get his reading in. If you’re not a reader then that if perfectly fine. There are many other ways to get your brain activity stimulated. Just because many articles suggest reading as a self care activity, doesn’t mean to force yourself to read.

Self care doesn’t have to be stressful and it isn’t. If you aren’t a planner then don’t buy a planner and feel the need to use it. Some people are natural planners and that works for them. If you use your phone or like to wing it, then that is your business. No one can tell you it’s wrong.

If you like to pray or meditate in the afternoon instead of morning that is your business. Self care is for self. I journal but not everyday, and that works for me. My workout is later in the evening, opposed to morning. I like to use my mornings to get things done.

Self care shouldn’t be stressful for you. You have the right to indulge in self care or not. Take the inspiration and implement it in your life how you see fit. If you try something and it doesn’t suit you, oh well. The goal is to ensure you are your best self for you.

Lastly, no one practices self care 365 24/7. Live your life to be the best you you can be.


Be you so you can be free.


Within the last year and half the idea of a ”side hustle” has really been pushed. There is so much advice, tips, and tricks on how to begin a side hustle that could make one overwhelmed. The one thing that you need to know if you want to create a side hustle is that you have everything you need to begin.

Most of the time people side hustles are what they are passionate about or some hobby that they enjoy. Well you can do that with what’s in your home. Whatever you are good at you can begin to create and sell. You have everything you need to start a side hustle and let the money work for you.

To begin with the obvious, many want to start their own Youtube channel. Well you can. You have a phone and it records. So you have what you need to begin. You have a story to tell that inspires someone. There is also a gift in you that is ready to come out. I know there are many who started their Youtube channel just using their phone. You don’t need to spend money on equipment to begin. That will come when it’s time.

The next is to start a blog. Once again you have a phone or IPAD, then you can begin to create your own story on the web. We have to get out of our head that we need all the bells and whistles to begin. When in actuality, if we had the bells and whistles we wouldn’t know how to use them correctly. Yes, there are some who started their blog on their phone or whatever device they had handy. By the way, your story is what’s going to capture your audience. You already have everything you need.

Next, side hustle you can do because you have everything is retail reselling or selling what you no longer use or need. There are many platforms and apps you can download on your phone that you already have, to begin selling items in your home and closet that you no longer use. Go through your home and pull everything that you haven’t worn or used in a year. I guarantee you, you will generate additional income. Your phone allows you to download the app, take photos, edit the photos, upload photos, create the listing, and sell the listing.

If you are good at baking or cooking, you can use your phone to market yourself on several apps you already use to cater events. Begin locally and let it grow. You have everything you need to create a free website to sell whatever goods or services you are good at. Self Care: Hobbies and Activities After all, we all have something we are good at.

There are so many other ”side hustles” that you can do to generate additional income with what you have. I know you’ve seen many articles and other content on side hustle ideas. You have everthing you need to begin. We all have something that we are passionate about. Furthermore, we all have a hobby that we love doing.

Using your talents and gifts that reside in you already, allows you to begin any side hustle you desire. If you’re good at organization, creating travel plans, planning, transcribing, writing, or many other ideas you can begin now. Use what you have to begin. Please don’t make the mistake of thinking you have time. On the other hand, thinking you need money and resources to begin. Build yourself up and you’ll enjoy the process.

P.S. This is not a post to tell you you should start a side hustle, its for those you’ve been thinking about it. They are waiting for the right time, or when they get the money to begin.


Be you so you can be free.


I live a simple and basic life that I am happy with it. We live in a society where more is a standard of success. The more you work, says you’re more successful. Therefore, you’re more financially free, happy, and living your best life as they say. The more lavish your vacation is, the more successful you are. The list goes on.

Recently, I made the admission inadvertently that I live a simple, basic, and slow life. Whatever you want to call it. I also feel this is my gift that I give to others as well. When I engage with others I know they feel a sense a calm, relief, and can breathe a breath for a moment. When someone come around, they don’t feel like they have to be ”on”. They don’t have to prove what they have, what they know, how much money they have, how much they work, or how big their home is. I find it very refreshing and rewarding that I can provide that for someone.

So how do I live a basic or slow life? I’m am very comfortable with having less. Self Care: Declutter and Make Room for Growth I don’t need to have the latest trends in fashion. I am happy with my couple pairs of pants, which are basic in colors. Several pairs of black and grey pants. I love being able to create multiple outfits with the basic tops I pair with them. Once I find a shirt or pant I like, I will purchase it in several colors. Once I find the style to fit and it’s comfortable I’m not straying away. My wardrobe is pretty basic. I’ve never been one to want to be the center of attention anyway.

The next thing that made me realize I was living a basic life was not having the desire to go on this lavish vacation. Once again, my family was brainstorming on our next family vacation and everything they said was great but I just couldn’t understand why everyday had to be so filled with activity. On the other hand, my simple suggestions was shot down quickly. I would prefer to just be in a cottage in the country with nature and the water. That is an amazing vacation for me. Peace and tranquility. Maybe once I will be able to get out and enjoy the town I visit, but after that I can enjoy the quiet scenery with good food.

This may be a controversial one, but on my birthday I can just take the day off and do nothing. I’m grateful to see another day, however I’d rather spend it so I can remember it. I don’t even need to have a big gift on that day. Just food and spending time with people I love will make a great birthday for me.

Simple things like washing my face and doing my skincare routine makes me happy. Using a new body wash in the shower makes me feel good. Cleaning my home and making it smell good keeps me warm and fuzzy on the inside. Burning candles and binge watching housewives is living my best life for me.

This though came to me after I took notice that every Monday morning, my answer to my coworker when she says ”Ros what you do this weekend?” is nothing. I said she must think I am the most boring person. But I’m not bored or unhappy. I love being able to be in the moment, and remember days, events, and family gatherings. I didn’t like the feeling of going out and because it wasn’t about the event I didn’t enjoy myself or remember what went on.

It’s perfectly ok to enjoy being simple or basic. Our culture and society has us thinking that if you’re not doing the most, then you aren’t living. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. Slowing down and taking a moment to think, breathe, and live literally in the moment is great living. I enjoy my simple, basic, and slow life. I was one never to desire to have all the bells and whistles.

If you like the simple basic things in life don’t let anyone make you feel like you should be doing more. Or there is something wrong with you because you have no desire to be doing more. On the other hand, I’m not knocking anyone who loves the bells and whistles. I love those who have large personalities and can light up a room when they walk in. Whatever your heart desires, you deserve to have it all.


Be you so you can be free.


I am my own worst critic and I need to stop being so hard on myself. There I said it. For some time now I’ve come to realize that I have been extremely hard on myself for no reason. Well I take that back, I do know the reason. But that is for another post. I had to tell myself to get out of your head.

You can’t be everything to everyone. Also you can’t help everyone. Lastly, you can’t be what everyone needs you to be. I now know that I was applying too much pressure on myself to be what everyone needed and wanted me to be. I felt if I could help then I should. However, if I couldn’t I always felt then I should find a way.

Now I just say no without explanation. I don’t feel bad for saying no. Nor do I figure a way for someone. Also I had this thought process of I could never not do something. If I found myself sitting down for more than an hour, then I would begin to feel like I am wasting time. I had to get up and do something. When it is perfectly ok, to sit and do nothing.

Recently I began acknowledging how well of a job I was doing at keeping my routines. I told my husband the amount of work I get done before I go to work is amazing. Now because I do have a specific routine Monday thru Friday, by Saturday it’s every man for themselves. But I had to enjoy the fruits of my labor that I put in during the week and say I do a good job. And guess what, there is nothing wrong with saying I do a good job, I did a good job, my skin is glowing this morning, I cooked an awesome dish, or whatever you conquer.

If you are constantly criticizing yourself, not think you’re good enough, or not giving yourself a moment then you need to stop being so hard on yourself. Give yourself a break, compliment, and let it go. JUST LET IT GO Get out of your head. Don’t beat yourself into a grave trying to prove you are a good mom, worker, wife, or whatever else title you hold.


Be you so you can be free.


We all have the best intentions to live the life we envision. But we never really get to live out our dream life because of the excuses we’ve come to tell ourselves. The reality is, we already have everything we need to live the life we envision. No matter if you are wanting to reset, begin, or change directions. You already have everything you need to live your life.

The first obvious is the fitness journey. We make excuses for why we have to wait until next week, month, or year. But did you ever notice, you can definitely achieve your goal to fit in a dress or for that special event coming up. Why, because you put your mind to it. Why Mindset Is Everything Mindset is everything here. So you can begin your weight loss goal even if you don’t have the gym membership money, workout clothes, shoes, equipment, or space in your home.

If don’t have room in your budget to pay for a membership, use Gods resources. Going outside you can walk your neighborhood, go to the local park, walk downtown, walk the trails, or use the steps in your home if you have them. ”I can’t do that. It’s cold where I live. We don’t have sidewalks. The neighborhood isn’t safe.” Well here’s another option, YouTube. There are millions of fitness videos on the tube, for every level, body part, and need. “I live in a small apartment.” I’m glad you said that. Because I don’t have a basement but I have a large kitchen and I would push my tabel to the side and use my floor to workout for 45 minutes. Use your living room floor. I’ve even used my bedroom as a place to workout .

Everyone has a phone, IPAD, or some kind of device to prop up to workout. Another good way to get in a workout and add variety in going on Pinterest. They have a ton of workout material for you to get started.

Ok you don’t have clothes or shoes, use what you already have. I don’t have a wardrobe of workout outfits. But I do have some old shorts, sweats, and t-shirts that I rotate to workout in. I’m sweating them out anyway. I don’t need to spend a large amount of money on workout clothes to prove I’m serious about my fitness. Also I use an old pair of sneakers to workout in. Once again, they are for getting dirty and I’m sweating in them.

Lastly, you don’t have a lot of wiggle room in grocery budget. That is fine. To begin, cut all your portions in half. The goal is to burn more than you intake. Make sure you have breakfast though. You can also cut out the soda, juice, and any other sugary drinks that you consume. Cut the sweets down. Drink more water. And guess what, you will notice a huge difference.

As time goes on you’ll be able to add or get whatever you need to continue on with your fitness. Remember fitness is a journey. You have to consistently work at it, add variety, and listen to your body. It’s a lifestyle that you must adopt.

The good news is you already have everything you need. 3 THINGS I STOP DOING TO HELP ME MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY You even have time. Make it a priority and you’ll begin to see results.


Be you so you can be free.


There are certain things in life that we expect and want. However, there are a couple of things that we have to be ok with never receiving.

lemon photo on person s thigh

The first is an apology. I’ve come to learn and accept in certain situations an apology isn’t going to happen. If the apology has to be asked for then you probably better off not getting it. Some people may not see a reason to apologize for many reasons. Either they aren’t remorseful or they don’t see anything of what they did was wrong. Most likely if you have to explain or twist yourself so they see your point of view and hurt, then if the apology does happen you’ll most likely feel its not from the heart.

The best way to deal with that is to know your role, apologize for your part, if any, and adjust the distance in that relationship going forward. We all want the apology we receive to be genuine and from the heart. If it’s anything other, its going to create a spiral of emotional arguments.

The next thing we may never get is the void we feel from a particular person. This could be a parent, sibling, or partner. Who ever we may seek love, affection, and validation from that is missing, we have to understand it’s not going to happen. First of all, the time that you needed and wanted it the most has passed. Therefore, it won’t mean the same or weigh as much. Because the 8 year old in you is looking for something, the 35 year old won’t be able to receive it the same. And that is perfectly ok.

The best way to move forward is acknowledge what it is or was you needed. But don’t blame said person. Because guess what, if they knew better they would have done better. Maybe you are asking something from someone that they don’t have, can’t give, or never received it. Understanding the other persons background and story will allow you to have empathy. OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING Whatever it is you are lacking or seeking, give it away abundantly.

The last thing that we may have to be ok with never receiving is closure. When wanting closure or answers we have to be careful. Most often waiting for closure and answers are holding us hostage from moving forward. Questioning why and wondering about different outcomes is preventing us from learning the lesson and growing from the experience. We’ve heard it a million times, if God put a period on something don’t you go trying to make it a comma.

When you don’t have answers or closure, focus on yourself. How you can be a better person to yourself and others. Learning triggers and behaviors in others so you won’t put yourself in certain positions again.

There is a lot we are going to get out of this one life we have. On the other hand, we will lack certain things. Either way, we must know we are still worthy of all our hearts desires, hopes, and dreams. Of course each person or circumstance will differ. But these are three things that most of us hold our breath for.


Be you so you can be free.