The one thing I know for sure, is we all want to be happy, love, and be loved. The one thing that holds us back is not being our true authentic self. We hear it all the time, to just be you. If we all could live how we want, where we want, and with whom we want, the idea of stress and anxiety would greatly diminish.

To just be you means to not go buy a house because your friend has. Be comfortable in your apartment or living with your parents. Just be you and take small staycations instead of a grand vacation. Own who you are in the style of clothes you like to wear. Just because your friends or family like certain stores, brands, and styles doesn’t mean you have to wear that as well.

Trying to keep up with what everyone is doing, what they have, and where they are is going take your focus off of you and your happiness. Furthermore, why spend money and stress yourself trying to fit in. You being you will allow you to stand out the right way.

If you have a bubbly or colorful personality don’t hide it because you feel no one understands. Be the life of the party if that’s what your heart desire. Secretly, those with quiet personalities enjoy your free spirit and is motivated by you. Happy Sunday AND LET GO

To just be you means don’t put yourself in any situation where you have to compromise your comfort, smile, personality, and energy. Not everyone is going to run to you and love you but that doesn’t mean you have to hide who you really are.

Remember you were created to be specifically you. If that’s the way God wanted you to be, then that is who you ought to be. If God says you’re perfect and enough the way I created you, then you are PERFECT!!!!!!! So go out there and be you. Those who are supposed to love you will, and those who don’t, bless them and keep going.

You will only win at being you. Don’t waste time, money, or energy trying to be something other than what you were created to be. Everyone else is taken. Just be you.


Be you so you can be free.


Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!! I hope you all have a safe, relaxing, and fun time with family and friends. Use this time to breathe and just be. You’ll get back to work soon enough. Enjoy being off and let yourself be free. EVEN THE STRONGEST NEEDS A BREAK

Whatever this holiday may look like for you, embrace it. There are many changes happening in everyday life, so some may not still get to gather for a multitude of reasons. If you are dealing with grief and loss, remember the good times. Celebrate as if they were still with you physically, because they are with you still spiritually.

If you are a family having financial difficulty, don’t let that sour your mood, weekend off, and holiday. Have a great Thanksgiving with what you have. Just because a million dollars gets spent doesn’t mean it will be enjoyable. You can still have an amazing time with less. Even if you can’t do what you used to, still do what you can and enjoy.

On the other hand, if you’re a family that has distance literally and/or figuratively, gather and send love anyway. Even if they don’t receive the love right away, they’ll have it to hold to for when they need it. Make a choice to do right and love regardless. I know it may be difficult. But remember forgiveness is for you not them. Also making the decision to do right instead of being right may just get things back on track.

Life is short. We can’t get this day back, time back, or holiday do over. Don’t waste it. Be you and take care of yourself.

I am very grateful and appreciative of everyone who has supported, stop by, commented, and like a post of mine. It means the world to me. Thank you all so much.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


We’ve all heard the saying ”look at the bigger picture.” Well sometimes it’s in our best interest to take one step at a time. Mentally and emotioanlly we may not be able to look at things on a grand scale. In order to get where we need to go, focusing on the first step and building from there will be more beneficial.

Sure we can have an end goal or a larger picture to see, but for our sanity each step is an accomplishment in certain situations. A house doesn’t become a house all at once. You have to build it brick by brick. An author doesn’t start with a full book, it’s word by word.

Focusing on one step at a time allows you to build confidence. STRENGTH Your vision becomes more clear with each step. You’re able to hold your head a little higher with each step. As you take your steps to your goal, you’ll gain awareness, compassion, and intelligence for yourself and the process. The learning and realization of what you’re becoming increases your confidence and self esteem along the way.

Because you are taking one step at a time, the lights are getting brighter, and eventually your vision broadens. Overtime you begin to see the ”bigger picture”. Until we focus on the foundation, the why, what and how, we won’t be able to see the bigger picture.

Some of us are in a mental state to where we can’t even lift a foot. Find your courage and strength to lift your foot to take the first step. With each step, pat yourself on the back, and take the next step. Don’t let others tell you how to proceed, how fast you should go, and where you should be in the process.

Focus on the next step until you feel you’re able to see more. Every little step is progress.


Be you so you can be free.


There are somethings that I do every weekend to help me jump start the week. Of course, our self care habits on the weekend looks different than the weekday habits. On the other hand, I’ve noticed, I have some self care weekend habits that I’ve been doing for years. These habits helps me mentally prepare for the week and keeps me organized.

  1. Change Linen. 🛌 Every Saturday or Sunday, I have to change the linen on everyone’s bed. This is something I did as a little girl growing up with my parents. So I guess I just kept that tradition going. But it’s not just changing sheets. It’s a symbolic way of leaving the week prior behind or throwing it away. Sort of like a spiritual cleansing. Not too mention, the cleanliness effect it has on keeping your home well kept.
  2. Shred Mail. 📨 To help keep the clutter at bay, I shred mail on the weekend. Organization, clutter, and chaos in the home is a reflection of your life. So I like to get rid of any old mail, bills that have been paid, and junk to keep it from piling up. This has been a huge boost for clarity and keeping up with important finances. Handle Your Business…Get Your Finances Together In the meantime, it’s a great confidence booster to your mental knowing you’re being responsible and handling business.
  3. Clean fridge. 🥡 After a long week of cooking and the kids placing half of a water bottle in the fridge, all week, I like to clean it out. This prevents me from spending money on things at the grocery that I already have. It’s always good to clean out and rotate any food to the front that needs to be used first. Also, I am able to figure out what I plan to cook for the week.
  4. Deep Condition Hair. 💇‍♀️ I do a good deep condition on my hair. After working out all week, I like to give my hair some TLC. I’m not one to go to the salon, I enjoy doing my hair myself. Once again, it’s how I love on myself. I challenge myself to learn and do it. The act and process of washing and conditioning boosts myself esteem. To know I’m taking time to make my hair healthy and feel good is a great confidence booster.
  5. Set Calendar. 📅 I go over everyone schedule and set the times and dates in my phone. This gives me an idea of how the week is going to go. I can plan meals, appointments, and other things around what we all have going on. However, I allow for adjustments and rescheduling. 📝 Nothing is ever set in stone. Sometimes it’s good to have an outline of the week. On one hand, you’re not going in blindly, but not bound either.
  6. Sleep In. 😴 After waking up at 5a.m. ⏱ during the week, I like to sleep in. Now my idea of sleeping in is to 7 or 8 in the morning. I can’t lay there for too long, as I’ve got older my body hurts. But I typically wake up earlier, I just tend to lay there and day dream for a while. It rejuvenates my body and give it the rest it needs. Self Care: Sleep Routine

The weekends are a time to relax and unwind. But we do have responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Therefore, our small weekend self care habits helps keeps us structured. I know there are many other weekend self care habits that we all do. As always, the goal is to help you have a easier life so you can enjoy your days.


Be you so you can be free.

Favorite Iyanla Vanzant Quotes: MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRING

I love me a good quote. I have shared some of my favorite Iyanla Vanzant quotes below. I love her honesty and straight forward love. She gives it straight even if it’s hard to hear. A good quote is food for thought. Gives you a light bulb moment to shift your thought process into a different universe.

What Is Meant to Be, Will Be

If we celebrate, support, and nurture ourselves, we will not need anyone else to do it for us.” –Iyanla Vanzant

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there. –Iyanla Vanzant

The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want.” –Iyanla Vanzant

Stop squeezing into places that don’t fit you.” –Iyanla Vanzant

You don’t get to tell people how to love you; you get to choose whether or not you want to participate in the way they love.” –Iyanla Vanzant

“If you don’t have a vision you’re going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you’ve already seen.“ –Iyanla Vanzant

If somebody had the privilege and the honor of walking into your life, living and growing with you, and they didn’t have the good sense to stay, you need to be glad to be rid of them.” –Iyanla Vanzant

We must inspire ourselves by believing we have the power to accomplish everything we set out to do.” –Iyanla Vanzant

There’s no GREATER battle in life than between the part of you that wants to be healed, and the part of you that’s content remaining BROKEN.” –Iyanla Vanzant

The journey into self-love and self acceptance must begin with self-examination…until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” –Iyanla Vanzant

What does a quote do for you? To me it’s not just a quote or words, it gives me a different perspective and a new way of thinking. Seeing things through a different lens gives understanding and meaning to help you or allow you to help someone else.


Be you so you can be free.


Dealing with betrayal, feeling no support, and an overwhelming feeling of loneliness has been my current mental state in the last couple of weeks. As of late, I’ve come to realize and know there is a certain love and support that I will not receive from family. The first thing I had to do was admit that I wanted and needed their support. We all know and understand the benefits of having family and community to get us through day by day.

Affirmation #1: I am not alone.

The worst and most difficult admission was acknowledging the role a particular member played in the sabotaging of other relationships. It could have come from anyone else but said person. I was manipulated, controlled, and used all because they were seeking the love, attention, and affection they felt they were lacking. Being the sacrificial lamb was very hard to acknowledge. But I had to do.

Affirmation #2: I am not what others say or think about me.

Next, I have replayed and reexamined every scenario and situation in my head. Consistently repeating ”why me?” I’ve questioned what I did wrong millions of times. I’ve taken up for said person even when they were in the wrong. All to be used and reversed to make me appear in a negative manner. I soon had to learn replaying and thinking about all the bad things isn’t going to change what happen. It will not change how they feel. I can’t control or stop, even family, from speaking negatively about me. Instead I’ve tried to understand their hurt, pain, and point of view. OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING

Affirmation #3: I will think positive thoughts.

Everything I’ve done or accomplished has been put down in some way. Not one member of my family has read a post. As a matter of fact, my mother has asked me several times what is the name of my blog. Boy each time she asks its a huge gut punch. I’m not even going to lie or hide that. However, if I don’t support anyone else who has started their business I’m the worst person in the world. If I don’t show up to their events, I’m being called selfish. I will not stop, because my vision is mine. My hopes, dreams, and aspirations are mine. No one else has to understand or see them.

Affirmation #4: I will see my goals through to the finish line.

On the flip side of this betrayal trauma, I’ve been able to learn myself. How it has shown up in relationships. Having a lack of support has you to question everything you do. Because even graduating college, someone else took the credit for it. Like I didn’t go to class and pass those classes on my own. If I changed my hair I was criticized. The comments I receive about being in shape, exercising, and trying to have a healthy lifestyle are very negative. My career path choices have been very different, and that has been criticized. But when I see others getting praised for doing the minimum it no doubt makes me question.

Affirmation #5: I am loved.

I’ve always been a strong willed person. Due to my experiences as a child, I’ve always had to be my own cheerleader. Now I’m at a point I don’t want to cry anymore. I want to heal, learn, and hopefully inspire my own family. My prayer is to be the example. Use me as a vessel.

I am strong.
I am brave.
I am more than enough.
I belong here.
I am loving.
I believe in me.
I am confident.
I am forgiving.
I am kind.
I am smart.
I am whole.
I am me.

For anyone who is dealing with betrayal or feelings of loneliness, you are not alone. The pain you are feeling is validation you are doing the right thing. People fight you when you don’t give in to their narrative. When they can’t hold you down they are going to manipulate you into thinking you are doing something wrong. Continue to be you. Do everything that you want to do in life. Pray, help others, and you’ll be ok.

P.S. Plesae understand this is not a post bashing family or anyone. This is me acknowledging my pain. I still love my family, pray for them, and can’t wait to see them for the holidays. Through me healing, I can hopefully help them heal.


Be you so you can be free.


I heard someone make a comment about what they wanted people to say about them when they leave this earth. That got me thinking about what I have to offer. In order to have an idea of what you want people to say or the legacy you want to leave you have to know what you offer.

After some reflecting I knew exactly what I had to offer. I want to bring someone a sense of peace and calm in their life. Protect Your Peace And Energy Without judgment and criticism, I want people to walk away feeling like they were validated. It’s not my job to point fingers or tell people how they should live. What I can offer is a ear to listen. My heart for compassion. Sympathy and empathy. And then, hopefully, from there they would have the ability to have clarity and understanding.

Most of the time, people know what they are doing, right or wrong. They know how to correct it. Offering someone my time and allowing them to sort through their detour is what I desire. At some point, we all are going to end up on a detour. Sometimes we just need someone to support us through until we get back on the right path.

With that you’ll need patience. Understanding of yourself and where you are mentally and emotionally. Also knowing your boundaries. In turn, your reward, is also growth and healing. When we love and support someone else in a troubled time, we grow emotionally and sometimes have lightbulb moments ourselves. That’s why it’s always good to use the two ears to listen and leave the one mouth close.

At the end of the day, I want to offer peace, calm, and comfort. Settling someone’s mind and heart will give them endless strength to make the decisions needed going forward. Furthermore, I’m pretty sure they have received a fair share of judgment, it doesn’t need to come from me. What is it you have to offer?


Be you so you can be free.


You have a super power, and that is, your choice. The choice is yours in every situation you encounter. This is another mommy gem I tell my kids consistently. You have a choice. Now depending on what choice you make, the consequences or outcome can be drastically different.

The power you have in choice begins with the mind. OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING You have the choice to walk away from a job or career. The choice is yours to stay in a relationship. We have choices on where we want to live. The choice is ours to make on what we eat. However, with any of the above, we can put ourselves in a financial bind if we don’t have a back up plan. On the other hand, if we leave a relationship we have to be ready to have lonely times. Our lifestyle and how we live depends on where we choose to live and what we have access to. The food choices we make can cause health problems or increase our energy.

In the meantime, we have a choice to be sad. It’s a choice we made to dwell on what someone said. We can’t change what they said but we can choose to think about we say about ourselves. We can choose to do something that makes up happy, instead of thinking about the dark. It doesn’t mean those situations are insignificant. But making the choice to choose better, allows you to go through the dark to get to the light.

We have a choice to hold a grudge or forgive. You can forgive, free yourself, and them. You have a choice to not participate if you don’t want to. The choice is yours to say “yes” or “no”. How we handle conflict and arguments is a choice. The language and words we speak to ourselves and others are important. Furthermore, the choice to apologize is ours. Just letting things go and be, is a choice. JUST LET IT GO

”I have to do this.”
“I have to stay.”
”There is no other option or choice.”
”What else am I going to do?”

We’ve all said this in some fashion at one point in time. But the reality is, you have a power called choice. Yes, if you make a certain choice in one direction, the hill to climb may seem steep. However, if the choice was there and the opportunity, then you have everything you need to climb that steep hill. You will not be led to a decision or choice that doesn’t serve you good.

The hardest, toughest, and most challenging choice will lead us to a life and world we couldn’t imagine. Trust yourself, the process, and God to lead you.

So the next time you find yourself stuck, remember you have a choice. It’s your super power. No one can make you do anything. You have the power to change the narrative, course of your life, and your story. The only person that can write our story is us.

We can make our lives better and easier, with knowing we have a choice. Making the choice that is best for your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing will always lead you to being better. The healthier we are, the more we’ll be able to serve others.


Be you so you can be free.


It’s hump day!!!! I tell my kids every Wednesday, ”you almost done with the week. Once you get over hump day, you’ll running to the finish line.” Happy hump day everyone!!!!

I just want everyone to know if there is any kind of hump in your life that you are trying to get over, you’re almost there. Don’t give up, keep going!!!! It gets the toughest when you are almost at the finish line. You have the strength to pull through. EVEN THE STRONGEST NEEDS A BREAK

When you are at your lowest, weakest, and just can’t take it any more, the breakthrough is coming. Please believe and know you are stronger, bigger, tougher, and wiser than any obstacle you are facing. No matter if it’s a physical hump, mental hump, emotional hump, financial hump, relationship hump, or work hump. You will conquer and see through to the other side.

Has it been challenging? YES!!!!!! Have you taken all you can take? YES!!!!!! There have been tears shed. You have screamed, shut down, and stressed yourself to no end. But, hold on because it’s hump day and there isn’t a hump big enough to hold you down.

You’ve been here before. Remember?!?! There was another time you thought you weren’t going to get through, and you did. Think back, and pull from that strength. Rememeber how you felt when you finally conquered and got over the hump. Expect and anticipate the victory of WINNING!!!!!!

In the meantime, be patient, pray, and do your best. The rest has been worked out already. Remember it’s not our timing that is the best timing.

So on this hump day, go be great. Be your best self. Tough times don’t last. You will outlast any hump that you face today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. We will have humps. But it’s how we climb that hump and what we do in the process that makes it manageable.

Have a great day!!!! Happy Hump Day!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.