WELLNESS: YOUR TRUTH IS YOURS

The truth will set you free is something we’ve heard a million times. But what does it really mean? Your truth is yours. Simply. The truth about your experiences. Truth about your feelings. The truth about your thoughts and emotions. Your truth is yours and no one can tell you its a lie or you’re wrong.

Your truth is yours and you must own it like you own your house or car. The one revelation I had this past weekend is telling the honest gut truth, will release and relieve you. The key is to not give a surface answer. You know when we say things like, “I feel some type of way.” What way? What are you feeling? Or when we say, ”I don’t like what they said.” Who said what? Is it how they said it? When they said it? Was it the intentions or context of what they said? In order to get better and heal from the tear, we have to say what the injury is so it can be treated correctly.

I had a moment this weekend with a family member who I previously expressed a feeling and concern to. They took what I said and immediately through it in my face the first chance they got a a moment. I had to ask myself why was I mad, angry, upset, hurt, and crying. It wasn’t that they repeated or brought up my moment of vulnerability. It was the fact they intentionally used it like a knife to hurt me. The conversation had nothing to with what I told them. But at the ready, they had it locked and loaded ready to use against me at the first moment they could.

That’s what hurt. I don’t feel guilty or bad about expressing my true feelings to them. I still believe and stand by my feelings. The act of intentionally trying to make my feelings or experience wrong, inaccurate, or not valid is what hurt. Especially coming from someone I love and I want love from. See there is another truth. I had to say, yes I want love and affection from them. Even though they hurt me, I still love them, wish them well, and want nothing but good things for them in their life.

So when I say tell the truth and it will set you free, it will. Once I said exactly what made me upset, I felt ok with moving forward. I don’t feel like I need clarity, an apology, or hold any bad feelings. Because I do know hurt people, hurt people. I can see their pain and why they wanted me to feel as hurt as them. Even though it had nothing to do with me.

No matter what truth you need to speak, say it loudly. If its regarding your job, say exactly what you don’t like. What are you lacking from your job or career that you need and want? Your truth about your relationship or marriage, speak it. Be specific and detailed about your truth so you can be set free. YOU OWE YOU…FIRST The truth about your finances, home life, lifestyle, or anything that you need to be honest with yourself about, speak it. You won’t learn what to do next if you don’t tell the truth. I’ts like going to the doctor complainig about your knee, when your arm is actually what’s bothering you.

Just like forgiveness is for you, your truth is yours and is for you. Speak your truth so you can heal, grow, and be better for yourself. Your truth isn’t wrong.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MOTIVATIONAL: HOW I STAY MOTIVATED AND INSPIRED

Just like everyone else, I have my moments. I juggle many responsibilities and roles so staying motivated and inspired is a daily priority for me. Not to mention, my main purpose of starting a blog is to let everyone else know they have everything they need to live their true self.REMEMBERING WHY I BLOG, Motivation

As a quick background, I went through a depression because I was living the life everyone else thought I should be living. I wanted to make everyone happy and proud but I wasn’t receiving the love and support needed to be “me”. After about a 3 year period of distancing myself, I began seeking encouragement and motivation constantly. What I quickly realized was, I had to keep my gas tank full.

My positive thoughts, energy, mood, vibe, goals, self care, and anything else was dependent on my gas tank. I knew I had to stay prayed up, read up, and full of gratitude to fight off any negative response of my choice to live for me. Always keeping my gas tank full, allows me to have an abundance to pull from whenever I need reinforcement, reassurance, and a reset.

For starters, I only seek positive and motivational content. So starting my day off with prayer before I get out of bed is essential. Before I even begin my day, telling God thank you and putting out in the universe how great the day is going to be sets the tone. Even on days I don’t feel good or have a busy schedule I make it a point to be grateful.

From there, as I get myself together, I put on something inspirational. Most of the time I go for a YouTube video. Some of my favorites are Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Eric Thomas, and Sarah Jakes Roberts. I ensure to fill my spirit with positivity, gratitude, and happiness. The goal is to have my gas tank filled so no matter what I may encounter through the day, it won’t stick to me. Now if I don’t watch a video, then I’ll opt for a gospel radio station.

Side Note: Music period always puts me in a good mood. At work, I will have music playing low at my desk. That is to drown out the negative talk from my coworkers, keep me in a good mood, and have my focus on something positive.

Next, while I’m riding in the car I’ll listen to more inspirational messages from YouTube or a podcast. Of, course music is always an option of mine as well. Throughout the day, I scroll Pinterest for millions of motivational quotes and passages. No matter what mood you are feeling you can read a quote or passage that will pick you back up.

Now if I’m in a mood, I quickly remind myself that it’s temporary. I ask myself “Ros why are you really hurt, or why did that comment bother you so much?” I’ve really got to a point where I’m honest with my feelings no matter how uncomfortable it is. I try to understand what made someone react, respond, or say whatever they did. OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING Knowing another’s story and pain allows me to have sympathy and empathy. But be clear, that doesn’t mean I give them the grace to do it again.

Protect Your Peace

I’ve really worked hard to get to know me. What I like, my expectations, my boundaries, my cutoffs, and I don’t make excuses or apologize for them. I also make it clear so there aren’t any misunderstandings or confusion. One of the biggest obstacles that help me is saying “NO”. I will no longer put myself in uncomfortable situations to make others happy or to keep the Peace.

In the evening, I once again express gratitude. I made it through the day. Most often we have encounters throughout the day and we get stuck. If something happens to us at 11:20a.m. we get stuck there and the rest of our day is ruined. Nothing lasts forever and its not the end of the world if things don’t go how you planned.

Lastly, a little while ago, I made a commitment to remove complaining from my thoughts and brain. Only if we knew the negative ramifications of constantly complaining. Even if its something small, complaining is a cancer that grows and spreads to infect every other aspect of our life.

As long as I’m intentional with my choices through the day, I share the inspiration and motivation, and I make someone else feel good then I’ve done my job. But how to stay motivated and inspired, you have to make it a part of your daily being, habits, and lifestyle. Seek the good and it will come to you.

So the next time someone says something that hurt your feelings, someone cut you off, don’t respond emotionally look for something to remind you of your purpose. Those are distractions to get you off tract from your journey. How I stay motivated and inspired will be different from others and may change as I grow.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOMETIMES WE JUST OUTGROW RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes we outgrow relationships and that’s ok. People come into our lives for a reason. No matter how well they develop or dissolve we outgrow the relationship. It’s perfectly normal and ok to outgrow some relationships.

If we outgrow a relationship that doesn’t mean its a bad thing. Two people have grown into two separate paths that doesn’t aline. The career path we choose takes us into different directions. Furthermore, any distance apart can help the relationship outgrow. The personal life we lead, takes us into different directions. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. We would love to have that one friend since childhood. Or that college roommate that kept us company. Hey Beal. Luv U!!!!! I’m so blessed and grateful to still have my college roommate in my life. But anyway, just because we outgrow a relationship doesn’t mean you’re not going to ever talk to them again. It just means the things you used to have in common isn’t shared.

We don’t just outgrow relationships, we may outgrow the job we’ve been at for years. I’ve heard people say they outgrew their hairstyle. Also one may outgrow the neighborhood their in and want to move. We outgrow the music we listen to, the television shows we watch, and personal style preferences. It’s ok.

I know for me, something as simple as what I like to eat has drastically changed. My tolerance level for certain foods isn’t as high. My choice in music has shifted. I always say if it hurts my ears I can’t listen to it. How I like to entertain myself most people would probably think its boring. I enjoy being different, taking a risk, and challenging myself.

We aren’t supposed to stay the same day after day. Year after after. As we grow our taste changes. What we want and like shifts and adjusts. Also our point of view transform as we grow. So of course we would outgrow some relationships. I know its hard, but growth of any kind is good.

However, if someone isn’t happy, excited, or encourage you to keep going then you know the time has expired on that relationship. I know its scary but you’re going to develop some amazing new relationships along the way.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

I totally loved being a stay at home mom and low key want to go back to being a stay at home mom. However, there are some mistakes I made being a stay at home mom. Here are some of my mistakes and tips for you, so you won’t make the same one’s I did.

First off, I didn’t think of it as a job. I felt like I wasn’t bringing in actual income, so I wasn’t contributing. Because I wasn’t “working” outside the home I felt I couldn’t ask for help. Nor could I even think about saying I was tired. That couldn’t been further from the truth. Let me tell you, running and maintaining a home is work. It’s constant managing and balancing everything. All the cooking, cleaning, and laundry you do is work and contributing to the home.

Giving your spouse the peace of mind to not worry about anything is a huge contribution. Whatever you do to make the home run smoothly, save money, and provide comfort is constant support. So yes, therefore it is a full time job and then some. There isn’t a dollar amount you can place on that.

The second mistake I made as a stay at home mom was not practicing self care. Once again because I didn’t work outside the home and had small babies at home, I had to be in sweats all day. So I thought. In my head, I wasn’t going anywhere on a daily, so why get up and do anything to myself. I really didn’t focus on myself or do much to boost my energy and self esteem. In my mind, I was a stay at home mom and that’s the only thing I was allowed to focus on.

The thought of me not bringing in any income, made me believe I didn’t deserve anything. That went across the board. Clothes, shoes, makeup, vacations, and any thing else I thought would make me happy.

Trust me your kids and partner want you to practice self care. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. You deserve to look good, feel good, and have whatever it is you want. You will feel better about yourself and approach the days with more excitement and enthusiasm.

The last mistake I made was not having a hobby outside of the family. I had nothing to focus on to keep my mental intact. Having that breather or moment to myself I didn’t give myself permission for. It is painfully important as a stay at home mom to have your own hobby Self Care: Hobbies and Activities. Something that is completely you. The one thing that gets your mind off of everything and refuels you.

If I could go back, I would definitely make time for myself, create a space for me to do something that makes me happy, and give myself a break. It truly is a honor and gift if you have the luxury to be a stay at home mom. Be thankful and grateful that you have that gift.

Obviously there are many factors that contributed to me having the feelings I did. For starters, I had no support from my family. However, my husband was amazing at encouraging and motivating me. He tried to do everything to make me feel good and a contributing partner. I was looked at as being lazy, messing up my kids because I didn’t put them in day care, and wasting my degree that I received. Because I was young, I began to believe certain things and internalized them. In my mind, I had a completely different point of view. However my efforts, to share and explain fell on deaf ears.

Being a stay at home mom is hard work and time is going to fly by. Take care of yourself first and the rest will fall into place. If you are a stay at home mom, know you are doing a great job. Don’t let lack of support or outsiders tell you any different. Seek support, encouragement, and motivation outside if you have to.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MOTIVATIONAL: GET UP AND GET TO WORK

Get up and get to work. Ok, so you’ve lost your job. There was an misunderstanding and you had a huge falling out with your best friend. On top of all that, your kid is running a muck. Not to mention, you have broken up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Or your marriage has fallen apart. The hot water heater has went out, the washer is broken, and you’ve had a flood in the basement. The only thing you are thinking is what the bleep else can go wrong.

Now that it seems the world literally has crashed upon you, you are ready to throw in the towel and give up. Oh no we not!!!!!!!! You’ve had a moment to scream, cry, and lay in the pit of darkness. But I know it won’t get better if you continue to lay in the darkness. You have to find the light. However, if you can’t find the light, create your light.

Get up and get to working on yourself. Clean yourself up mentally. Daily Self Care Habits To Boost Your Mental Health If someone isn’t on board with your vision for yourself mentally and emotionally, then you have to love them from a distance. Furthermore, as you walk toward your new light, you are going to have to leave people where they are stuck at. Everyone can’t go with you. You can’t pull someone who isn’t ready or who doesn’t want to go.

If its time for you to explore a new career path, then you need to do so. I know for me, when I get bored and unmotivated the tasks aren’t challenging. It’s time for me to move on to something that will challenge me and get me excited about working. If you wake up in the morning and dread going to work, then you aren’t being fulfilled.

No matter what you’re carrying on your shoulders, drop it and move on. Have your moment and mourn the loss of it. But after that, its time to get up and get to work.No one can change your life but you. If you continue to sit in the dark, its only going to effect you.

Don’t worry about who did what. Or what someone did that helped you get into a situation. We must take personal responsibility. Own and admit to the role we played in our downfall. Once we take ownership, we take back authority and control. Leaving the responsibility in someone else’s hands, leaves us handicapped in taking action towards getting our life back.

I know it hurt like no other pain you’ve felt. I know you feel empty, lost, and saying I have nothing to even begin. But guess what, you do. Your will to live, get better, and grow is all you need. Once you make up in your mind, this is not the end for me, you’ll find what you need to pull yourself out.

Get up and get to work. You can do it. Remember its not what happens to you, but how you handle it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

3 THINGS I STOP DOING TO HELP ME MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY

A while ago I made the decision to stop doing 3 things. Little did I know these 3 things helped me greatly mentally and emotionally.

The first choice I made was to stop saying ”I’m tired.” For starters, when I would say I was tired, it would put me in a mental state of gloom. Whatever was in front of me to do, seemed out of reach. I felt the smallest tasks would take forever. I would begin putting tasks off. Which creates another snowball of negative effects. My mood would shift. The littlest things would set me off. My fuse became shorter.

I didn’t like that feeling. Because once I actually thought about it, I really wasn’t tired. I may have put too much on my plate that day. And because it was scheduled in, I felt the need to get all the tasks done. Saying I’m tired puts negative energy and mood in the atmosphere. FRIENDLY REMINDERS I TELL MYSELF When all I needed to do was relax, reschedule, and do something for me. I am very proud of myself for keeping this out of my vocabulary. Once I was aware of the mental and emotional effects of saying ”I’m tired” it was easy for me to remove. Even when my husband asks me am I tired, I quickly say NO!!!!!!!!

The next thing I got rid of that help me personally was complaining. Complaining not only effects you but those around you. Complaining isn’t going to change the situation. If you are late, you are late. It’s the small things we complain about that weighs us down. Traffic. Long lines at the grocery store. Paying bills. Going to work. Having a job. Having a family. Responsibilities.

We often don’t see it at as complaining but it is. We want that big promotion with the office window, but we complain about the work load that comes with it. The large house on the hill we want, but complain about the upkeep and maintenance it takes. The life long dream of having a family, God blesses us with it, but we complain about how hard and long our days are. We pile so much on our plate, literally and figuratively, but then complain about the weight we gain or how much we have to do.

lemon photo on person s thigh

The last thing I got rid of that helped me personally was making excuses. When things don’t turn out right or go as planned I immediately check myself. I knew putting the blame on me and no one else allowed me to maintain authority over the situation. It would eliminate me getting anyone else in a bind. Or trouble at work if its work related. Also it would eliminate tension between me and others. I had to come to a point where I couldn’t worry about who was at fault. Or who didn’t play their role correctly. I only could worry about my role and how I eliminate the situation again. When we take ownership no one can manipulate, control, or make you feel a certain way.

Since I’ve eliminated those 3 things, I have been more relaxed, understanding, and less stressed. Being completely focused on me and my subconscious keeps me centered. You’ll find you won’t get agitated as easy. Things won’t bother you as much. And you are more productive, happy, and people want to be around you.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HOW MINIMALISM HELP ME REDUCE MY STRESS

Before I share how minimalism reduced my stress, I need to make it clear, I AM NOT A MINIMALIST!!!!!!!! There are certain areas of my life and lifestyle that I scaled back on to help me reduce stress and get some peace.

I wasn’t trying to become a minimalist or adopt that lifestyle. My goal was to create some free time, space, and energy for myself. After much research and watching many YouTube videos on minimalism, eliminating options was the most common piece of advice I heard. Having too many options creates chaos and stress, and a waste of time. You spend so much energy trying to choose.

The first thing I scaled back on was clothes and shoes. As someone who works in an office, meets with clients, and work downtown I always felt I had to be dressed up. I used to stress over work outfits. Having too many work clothes and shoes would guarantee me being almost late in the mornings. Even if I sat my outfit out at night, I would change it in the morning. Since scaling back and getting essential pieces that I can mix and match, I have so much more time in the morning. Also I’m more comfortable with not just the clothes but in my presentation.

Secondly I got rid of a lot of makeup. I came to a realization that I didn’t need 20 eyeshadow palettes. Having several foundations to choose from, blush, bronzers, and lipstick was very time consuming. Because I had so much makeup, I felt the need to rotate it and use because I’ve spent my money on it. Right now I haven’t even been wearing makeup. Makeup Free For A Year And Loving It But when I do need to or want to wear it, I have the basics to enhance the features I want to enhance.

The next thing I minimized to reduce stress was clearing my phone. Deleting photos and apps that I don’t use or need helped. I came to realize when you have so many apps on your phone, subconsciously you will feel the need to be on the phone more than usual. At first I tried to change my notifications but I still wanted more freedom to scale back. Having only the most important at my fingertips is all I need. Especially social media apps, if you spending too much idle time on the phone, delete some social media apps.

Lastly, my lifestyle and how I live. Keeping my home clean, fresh, inviting is my focus. Having the right cleaning products to keep my home clean at ease helps me stay stress free. Getting rid of useless items and knick knacks reduced a lot of stress. Another lifestyle change was my workouts, they have become more simple. Therefore, I am motivated and inspired to get it done.

Those are just a few things I did to help reduce my stress. Sometimes looking into our everyday life, and seeing what we can do to help ourselves out will eliminate much anxiety. No one needs too many options of anything. If you’re thinking about it too much, then it’s time to let it go or scale back.

If you are feeling a little stressed, declutter from the inside out and see how much lighter you begin to feel.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

RANDOM Thoughts of encouragement

While making my coffee I had a few random thoughts of encouragement I wanted to share…There is more life for you to live. Things will get better. It won’t stay dark forever. Be patient until the light comes through for you. Be grateful that you are able to anticipate light and happiness again. Get your strength back while you wait. Figure out what role you played in dimming your light. Part of self care and growth is analyzing ones own behavior in the situation.

Believe in your abilities for yourself. Trust yourself to know you can do it. Forgive yourself. Everything starts with the mind. I didn’t understand this concept until I intentionally began to feed my mind with positivity. The moment you hear yourself saying something negative change that into something positive. Why Mindset Is Everything Stop yourself in mid sentence or mid thought and redirect the course. Whatever we tell our mind is the direction we will take.

I can honestly tell you the moment I decided not to complain and make excuses my mental thought process changed. Even if someone isn’t being the most kind. I do understand it has nothing to do with me. Please understand that was a work in progress for me. And it still is an ongoing process. The key is to consistently work at it. Just because you have a good mindset today doesn’t mean something won’t happen tomorrow that will get you off track.

Now don’t get me wrong I have had a bad day. I will have another bad day. But I know to leave it at that day and don’t carry it over into the next. You will have a bad day. Things will get off course. But the goal is to get your mindset and daily habits to a point where you know exactly how to get back on track. How To Boost Your Confidence With Daily Self Care You know from experience what works for you and how you need to get yourself together.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Do what you have to do to make sure you’re not on edge. Give yourself time to rest. Furthermore, take the day off and do nothing. It’s ok to feel off, you not your normal self, and you really can’t put it into words. Let the spirit move in and through you. You will eventually figure it out. If you have so much going on in your head, talk it out to yourself or write them down. Your random thoughts will encourage and motivate you.

Well that is all for my random Friday thoughts of motivation and encouragement . I hope you enjoy your day, weekend, or week. Be well and be safe.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SELF CARE TIPS FOR WOMEN OVER 40

I’ve reached chapter 40 and there are noticeable changes that happens to you mentally, emotionally, and physically. Based off some of the differences I’ve noticed there are a couple self care tips for mature women that goes beyond mani pedis and spa days.

Tip#1

Read More. Keeping the brain stimulated which helps with connectivity helps keeps focus and attention . The more we read the more we expand our vocabulary and comprehension. Reading more as mature women allows us to relax and take a moment for ourselves. Therefore, reducing our stress and blood pressure. Opting to read keeps our mind focus on positive thoughts and feelings.

Tip#2

Teach, Inspire, and Motivate. Lately I’ve had the urge to encourage and Motivate the younger ladies. Because we have experienced life more and went through some storms, it’s important to educate the younger ladies on the obstacles they may face. Giving back with wisdom and lessons you learned on the way will be more appreciated than you expect. Motivate and Inspire a younger lady to go after her dreams. Uplifting someone else is free to do with a priceless reward. 10 TIPS FOR YOUNGER WOMEN

Tip#3

Moisture, Moisture, Moisture. As we get older our skin loses it’s elasticity. Us mature women need to keep our hands, feet, face, and neck well moisturized. The most significant signs of aging are seen in our hands, around our eyes, and neck. Of course keeping your body moisturized is important as well.

Tip#4

Keep Moving. As we age and mature keeping those bones and joints moving will help slow down the aches and pains. Now I used to be able to do those high impact exercises. But not any more. You can do low impact exercises and have fun. Opting for yoga, pilates, swimming, biking, and of course a walk will help keep your body in shape. Also as women over 40, a good morning stretch helps awaken your body for the day. 3 NON FOOD REASONS YOUR DIET ISN’T WORKING

Tip#5

Matte Over Shimmer. When we do our makeup as mature women staying away from shimmer will helps us not look to shiny or greasy. The way shimmer shows up on younger ladies doesn’t show up on our skin the same. We want to look polished and highlight our best assets.

Tip#6

Occupy Your mind. Along with tip#1, as we mature, keeping our mind occupied will eliminate boredom, anxiety, and depression. Because we’re getting older, probably empty nesters, or kids are out with their friends, we end up with a lot of downtime. Having a hobby like gardening, knitting, sewing, or anything that requires you to be focused will help with those emotions that may come.

Tip#7

Relax. Take a day off to do nothing. Sleep in. Binge watch something on television. Be a bum for a day. Allow yourself permission to just be. Relieve the mind and body sometimes to let it recuperate. Take a day off to reenergize so you can keep going.

As we mature and grow certain things just aren’t as important anymore. We become more calm, reserved, and life’s intangibles become a priority. Don’t look at maturing in a negative manner. Instead embrace it, have fun, and be grateful you made it thus far.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.