IT’S THE FIRST OF THE YEAR

Well, for me it’s the first of the year. Today is my birthday and I’ve always used my birthday as my “reset” day, beginning day, or milestone day. Every since I was a teenager I’ve always viewed my birthday as a deadline date to do something or start something . I never wanted a big party or extravagant gifts. For me, I’d wake up and make a goal about what I wanted personally for myself by the my next birthday.

A couple years ago, I turned 40 and that was my big day to cut my hair. I set goals on how I wanted to feel, where I wanted to be mentally, emotionally. My birthday is my first of the year. I love spending the day being me. Isn’t that’s what it’s for? To be in peace and completely me. My plan for the day is to wake up, get myself all dolled up, light my new candle, and sit outside and drink my coffee in one of my favorite mugs.

The simple things and the simple life is what I enjoy. I’ve learned to let things go. Let them be what they are. Not worry about what they could have been or what I hoped for. Time is very precious. I know it’s a cliche, but really it is. Just look it’s the middle of August. If I want to do something, buy somethings, go somewhere, eat something, then I’m going to do it. I understand the purpose of living each day. I won’t get them back.

”Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.”- Robert Tew

One of my goals was to be more self aware and emotionally strong. Not take things personally. Be confident in myself. Give myself without depleting me. Being honest in my communication. Standing on my boundaries without being dismissive. Not feeling like I have to explain myself. Being knowledgeable, comfortable, and confident in my decisions. Not seeking validation or approval to live or just be me.

I enjoy my birthday. I own my birthday. It’s the first of the year for me. My goal is to continue my quest of emotional intelligence. Using my path and journey to pour into family, friends, and my children. I feel great and grateful for the mental clarity that God gives me. I like me. I love who I am becoming and hope it’s infectious.

My hope for you is to find your own way of feeling free. Whatever that may look like for you. How do you reset, reflect, and recharge? Do you use January 1 or your birthday like I do? Or some other day?

Be well!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

IT’S OK, TO BE OK WITH SOME THINGS

This weekend having a conversation with my aunt about this thing called life, made some uncomfortable “things” come up. By the end, I told her sometimes you just have to be ok with some things. It doesn’t make it bad. It doesn’t make it wrong. IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS Just being ok, accepting, and releasing gives you the opportunity to grow, heal, and be at peace. Here are some things we just sometimes have to be ok with.

close up shot of keyboard buttons — Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

It’s Ok…

-To not want to be ok
-To not feel ok
-To feel lonely
-Needing or wanting someone around, or companionship
-Not knowing what you want to do
-If your feelings are hurt
-To feel more than one emotion or one way
-To lose interest
-Want something different
-To seek a different perspective than the normal
-To have thoughts of giving up or quitting
-Gain a few pounds
-Have a setback of any kind (diet, fitness, finances, emotions)
-If something or someone isn’t what you expected

”Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s okay to have a moment of uncertainty about life. It’s a transformative period to find your purpose.”

Those are just a few things that came up in our conversation. No matter how old you are or what you’re doing it’s ok. Sometimes we won’t have all the answers or information. We even may not ever get any or all of it. The only thing we can do is do the best we can with what we have. Everything will work out. In many circumstances it’s better to not know all the answers.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.-Robert Brault

I’ve always enjoyed the most simple things and the simple life. In recent years, I just became comfortable with that and admitting it. Especially coming from a large family who likes to do things on a grand scale. Going to get a cup of coffee, having a clean home that smells good, me indulging in body wash, lotions, perfume, doing my nails and hair, and binging on RuPaul Drag Race is everything to me. Some may say it’s simple and boring, but I relish in it. Also I’d rather take several 3-4 day vacations in small towns enjoying the food, country side, and attractions better than a 7 day vacation somewhere. SIMPLE DAYS ARE THE BEST DAYS

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No matter what kind of lifestyle you enjoy, take in the simple small things. The joy, peace, and calm the smallest things can bring will last longer than any large thing you can imagine. I always think of this story I read:

Two couples, one makes over six figures a year, and the other couple makes less than 30k combined. Now the couple that makes over six figures, has a large amazingly beautiful house, 3 luxury cars, jewelry, and all the latest fashions. They take a grand vacation every year. But they are in an insane amount of debt. The marriage is very rocky, the kids are rebellious, and they both admitted they thought all the “stuff” and money will erase it. On the other hand, the couple that makes 30k has an insane amount of savings, they are very charitable, doesn’t have all the bells and whistles, live a modest life, yes they gone on a vacation, and have a quaint small single family home compared to the other. Living happy and joyfully.

All that to say, it doesn’t matter what you have, how much you have, if it’s shinier, bigger, better, single or married, it won’t matter. You can have “it all” but it won’t fix the sadness, problems, or unhappiness. Make sure to enjoy the small simple things in life. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BEST THING I HEARD THIS WEEK

”If you want more, then do more. If you’re happy with the relationship you have, then don’t do anything. It’s totally up to you. There is no right or wrong answer.”

One day at work someone in the office got a phone call. Of course they put it on speaker and I was able to hear the conversation. The woman asked if she should call a certain person for their birthday and wish them a happy birthday.

SideNote: I don’t know the exact relation of the woman and person in the office. Also I wasn’t able to get a clear picture on who had the lucky birthday and their relation as well. But it was clear they all knew each and were kind of close.

It was clear from her tone there was an internal conflict. She was confused, wanted to do the right thing, and was looking for the answer either way. You know, we wall have those moments where you just want someone to tell you Yay or Nay. Looking for the answer or validation in your confused state.

When he responded with “are you happy where the relationship is?” And then said “”If you want more, then do more. If you’re happy with the relationship you have, then don’t do anything. It’s totally up to you. There is no right or wrong answer.” I perked up and my antennas went up. You know I love a good quote or food for thought. Favorite Iyanla Vanzant Quotes: MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRING

What he said resonated not only in relationships, but in life. If you want more in your career then do more. If you want more in your spiritual journey then do more, if you are ok then do nothing. No matter what the circumstance or situation is you have the power to make the decision. And guess what, because it’s your decision, it’s the right one. What’s right for me may not be right for you. But it’s your choice.

If you are having an internal conflict about something, simply ask yourself are you happy in it’s current state. Do I want more? Do I need more? Am I ok with where I am or what I have? Will I be ok if I don’t get anything? Then answer your own questions. Proceed accordingly.

It will always work out because you resolved it for yourself. Yes, we want others opinions, sometimes validation, and for someone to just give us the answer. But will it be right within you. The choice is yours. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO UNPLUG

”Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you. -Anne Lamott

I took a break. A long break. Sometimes the best thing you can do is unplug and step away from everything. Taking a break gives you your power back, gives you clarity, and energy to continue on whatever path your life is taking you.

One of the best outcomes of me taking a break has been my self awareness. The immense power you have when you can be self aware to know and understand why you respond, react, or do certain things. Self awareness takes courage, patience, and practice. You will go on a roller coaster ride to get to the top.

For about two months, as it became closer and closer for me to clock in for work, I would have heart palpitations, sweaty palms, sudden flow of tears, body was jittery, and a huge lump in my throat. All while spending the prior hour meditating, journaling, and praying. Even after doing all I could, I still had a physical reaction. Even when I got off, all I could think about was what I had to do, what was next, and how I can trick my mind into thinking everything was ok. My weekends felt like quick sand. They would go by so fast and all I could think about is how I didn’t want to go to work.

So I started to listen to my body and the response it was giving me that I couldn’t control. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED Why am I feeling like this? What is it that I have anxiety about? Do I want to do this? I finally had to admit to myself, that I was psyching myself out and pumping myself up just to go to work. One morning talking to my husband without thinking I said “I am not happy and I don’t want to do this.”

I couldn’t believe I said it, but I felt a huge burden lifted. After I admitted that, it was easy for me to realize how much time I spent convincing myself “it’s not a big deal”, “anybody would love to have that job”, “do you know how many people would love to make the money you make”, and so many other thoughts.

The self awareness gave me the power and strength to not care what others would say or do. Determine if I leave or not. I literally made the decision to do what was best for me and it hasn’t been more freeing.

I have absolutely no anxiety going to work. There isn’t a thought of “ugh I have to go to work.” I enjoy my weekend and my Mondays aren’t blue. 6 TIPS FOR MONDAY MORNING BLUES

In taking a break I also learned what a truly makes me happy. Do you ever have trouble answering that question,”What makes you happy?” Being still you understand, realize, and appreciate the things that make you happy. After taking my power back through self awareness, I was able to confidently say what I wanted my happiness to be like and feel like. Without shame, guilt, or embarrassment.

I love doing my morning skincare routine. It makes me feel like I’m preparing myself for the day. It brightens me not only physically but mentally. My morning skincare routine also gives me confidence and strength to go out and put my best foot forward. I love eating good heart healthy foods to keep my blood pressure and health in order. Drinking water to ensure my body is hydrated and cleansed makes me feel good. Working out, sweating, and releasing negative energy is my mental therapy. Nothing clears my mind daily like a good walk. My nighttime skincare and bath routine calms me, allows me to leave the day that day, and prepare for a clean slate the next.

Unplugging and taking a break allowed me to strengthen relationships, strengthen boundaries, and resolve any limiting factors that was prohibiting me from being me. There was a point in my break that I said aloud for the first time, “the mother I wanted or needed I would never have.” How can I participate in what she has to offer without being so drained mentally and emotionally ? That felt like I lost hundreds of pounds in a day. Again, without guilt, shame, or anger I was able to come to grips and set clear boundaries on what kind of relationship I can participate in.

I have never felt so free, happy, and light.

My mental clarity and self awareness has given me an understanding and healing to want to know how to communicate better. Understand what a person needs from me. Also to be honest with myself and others on what I can offer or not. Amazingly, in a conversation with my aunt, unknowingly, I said “auntie I can’t give you what you need or looking for, but I can help you get to what you need and looking for.”

The fact that I was mentally and emotionally in tuned with myself and empathetic to her, allowed me to create boundaries, validate her, and be honest with her and myself was energetic in my body.

One of my prayers everyday is for strength to do the mission I am handed. Take it from me, it’s ok to take a break. Even if you don’t know what you need or want. If there is too much going on in your head and body, unplug. Sometimes you can do all you can, journal, pray, meditate, and you still need to unplug. To be honest, it’s not even a bad idea to take a break every so often to regroup. Life is going to life. Have a great weekend.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MOTHERHOOD STILL INSPIRES ME

I’ll repeat until the end of time; being a mom is the most important position I’ll ever hold. Having the responsibility to raise three children to be their most successful, responsible, and authentic self is a ride of a lifetime. It’s rewarding, fulfilling, motivating, educational, inspiring, and a journey. Tapping into motherhood requires patience, communication, and selflessness.

Being a mom inspires me to better myself. I pray each day for strength to be the mom they need me to be. So often as parents we can make the mistake in guiding our children into who we think they should be instead supporting them into who they are meant to be. Supporting each one of my kids requires me to unlearn, relearn, and communicate with them at their respective stage and communication style. BEING A MOM INSPIRES ME

Learning triggers, what they are looking for from me, and how to deliver to get them to understand has required me to check myself and my communication style. Also having that balance of hearing them and making decisions as mom. Sometimes, yes, as a mom, we have to make tough decisions they won’t like. But it’s the best decision at the time.

The more they grow, they encourage me to take care of myself. My level of self care and how I navigate each day is to promote a healthy balance. I want them to learn from me instead of just hearing me say it. That has required me to take a deep internal journey into my self . Heal, grow, and learn. The more confidence I instill in them, the more my confidence builds for myself. I don’t want them to just do as I say and not as I do.

Believe me, kids are very smart and they will know when you’re aren’t practicing what you preach. You’ll lose them.

Learning to let go. Trust what you’ve taught them. Trust them in their decision making. Also knowing as a mom I can’t prevent everything. There are going to be times they fall. That is a part of their learning and growth. Knowing how to uplift and build each child back up is key to their success.

My kids inspires me to be patient, listen to my emotions, communicate and listen. Having the confidence to know trust your gut. Make the best decision with what you have at that time. Live life without regrets. Never stop learning. My oldest teaches me to live simply. Remain even toned. Never get too high or too low. My daughter teaches me to be me authentically. No matter what’’s happening around you stay in tuned to who you are and make decisions that are best for you. My youngest son teaches me to be empathetic. Have compassion. Be understanding and don’t give up.

To all the moms out there, you are doing great. Trust yourself. Treat yourself nice. Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Other people’s idea of you is not your responsibility to live up to.” – Unknown

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The number one reason many are unhappy, stressed, or emotionally tired is because they are trying to live up to someone’s else’s idea of who and what they should be. We never want to let others down. Especially our loved ones. However, even trying to “live” up to a loved one expectation of you, can be very damaging to your mental and emotional health. Growing up my mother had her own idea of what college I should attend. She wanted me to attend nursing school so bad, but that was her dream. If you find yourself trying to prove to anyone you’re good enough or prove your value then you have to take your own power back. WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE TO PLEASE In doing so, don’t even verbally express what you are going to do. Redirect your life and path to what you actually want to do or be. When you begin to live in your desires and what makes you happy, the benefit is for you and any relationship. Each day you’ll wake up ready to live through the day. The anxiety of what lies ahead no longer hold you hostage. The relationships that are meant to be, will be. But living for you, without seeking permission, or second guessing is the most freeing feeling. Enjoy your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HOW RISKY ARE YOU: TO QUIT OR NOT QUIT YOUR JOB

Since the pandemic many have had an awakening of becoming their own boss versus working the current job they have. They had an epiphany about what they missed out on, financial freedom, flexibility, and being appreciated. However, depending on who you ask there may or may not be a right or wrong way to go about it.

The Risk Taker

First you have those that says I’m going to bet on myself. I’m tired of working a 9-5. I want to be my own boss. They want the flexibility to work or create when they are most effective. The risk taker also is someone who has many ideas, creative, and very social. They have much confidence in themselves and says I’m going to win no matter what. The risk taker says if you have a plan B, then you aren’t putting all your efforts into Plan A. So of course you’re going to have to rely on Plan B one day. FINANCIAL MINDSET: WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

As Steve Harvey once said, “If my plan A doesn’t work then I’ll create another plan A.”

There isn’t a certain time to be stable to branch out on your own. Anything can happen. The more you try to work and save until you have enough, the longer you’re prolonging your dream and happiness. The comfort will always have you pushing back the deadline to begin your own.

The risk taker may also feel the company can shut down at any moment. They can lay you off without warning. Cut positions, hours, and benefits. Then where will that lead you. https://amzn.to/3NQgytd

The Cautious One

Next, we have those that says I have a family and bills. What about insurance. What if something happens. They are used to that guaranteed amount and needs that security “just in case.” It’s best to save at least six months, some say, before quitting your job. You need to make sure you’re financially secure and the family is stable while pursuing your dream. It’s all about security and comfort.

So do you quit your job and bet on yourself? Or keep that stable job until you feel you’re ready to stand on your own. Either way there are pros and cons to each. Depending on your life, lifestyle, circumstances, financial status, and many other factors. They both have the same end goal. To be financially free and to have something to pass down to their children. Doing what they love. Having fun. At some point working minimum hours while receiving maximum profit. https://amzn.to/41OXlOo

I’m a believer in your job or career should fit into your life not your life fitting into your job.

Which mindset are you? Quit or not?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

FAMILY AND CAREER: CAN YOU HAVE BOTH?

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Can you have both: family and career. Some says yes and others says no. Both are full time jobs. Due to my husband position I was the one who had to be extremely flexible and sacrifice. With that being said, I knew I wanted to be present mentally and emotionally for my kids. I only have them for a short amount of time before they expand their wings and go on their own. Conversations with those of my generation, one of the common themes was lack of emotional support. Having a parent interested them, their thoughts, feelings, interest, views, likes, and dislikes.

I’ve watched some friends and family members raise their children completely different and saw outcomes that support both.

First we have the one parent that says I have to work and pay the bills. This parent works two jobs. By the time she gets home her children are in bed. She hasn’t seen them since they left for the school bus. She says they’ve text throughout the day and they are ok. Are they really? Also she believes they love hanging out with their friends and they don’t care if she goes to work. But for some reason one daughter is always calling her at work saying she’s sick. She wants her mom to come pick her up and stay with her at home. She sends dad.

She says they have everything they ask for. That’s why I’m working so much. I take them on a vacation every summer. We have a lake house. I have to work and have my life. She’s right. But is there a cost.

Then she says there’s no need to go to parent teacher conference. Her kids aren’t failing. She thinks her kids doesn’t want her at events, they don’t care. She and her husband told their son because they had to work 2 jobs he couldn’t join baseball because they couldn’t commit. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

On the other hand, we have the one who says I’m going to go to every event, game, show, award ceremony my kid have. I’ll live a subtle life to spend time with the kids. They don’t need name brand stuff all the time. She works just under 40 hours and leaves at 4pm because she says getting off at 5pm is too late for her to start her evening with the kids. They have TV shows they watch together. They eat dinner together. She’s the carpool mom and is very inquisitive about their friends and social life.

She says she’s being a concerned mom. She wants to know everything about them and be there for them. Is there a such thing as a helicopter mom?

Yes kids love having “stuff”. But at the end of the day they want mom or dad there. Not necessarily engaging, but available. They want that comfort and security of knowing you’re around. Or else the risk of the kids learning and finding their way without you can hurt them and the relationship.

No one can put 100% in two things. Being present physically, is different from being present mentally and emotionally. Kids really don’t care about the money.

A couple weeks ago my daughter had an award ceremony because she was nominated for Student Of The Month. During this ceremony there were also other awards given for different categories and grades. Sure the ceremony was on a Friday morning at 9am. They had coffee, donuts, milk and water for us to snack on with our kid until the ceremony started. We were able to mix and mingle with the other parents as well.

However, it broke my heart so bad that a couple of kids didn’t have parents to show. These were huge awards that all teachers and counselors voted on for a particular student. They were eating donuts alone. Looking so sad. At one point I even told my daughter to go tell one student to come sit with us. I just couldn’t help it.

When their name were called up, the counselor read the loving note from the teacher that nominated them. They received their award and took photos. The body language and the barely there smile killed me. At some point I heard a little guy say, my mom couldn’t come she had to work.

Yes you have to work. May not be able to get off every time. But unfortunately, the only things the kids see and remember is being alone at some pretty great moments. No material thing can get rid of that.

Of course, family dynamics, finances, and type of career makes a difference.

So can you really have it all? Family and Career.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Daily Prompt

What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?

I’ve given up on the idea of getting a tattoo. Unless I have an epiphany going through menopause. LOL. But when I was younger I thought of getting something small on the inside of my wrist like a heart, butterfly, or an affirmation.

When I was a teenager it was the it thing to get an affirmation tattoo in some form of another language. I always thought that was intriguing. Not many will know what it meant unless you told them.

I knew if I did want to get a tattoo it had to be some place I could cover up because I knewI was going into the corporate world. At the end of the day I settled on not getting one.

I have the personality to get bored and tired of the same ole things. So having something permanent would have urked my last nerve. Lastly, I have this knack for wanting to be different on purpose. Because it was the it thing I decided to not get one as well.

I love looking at others tattoos. I can learn a lot about their creative side. What they hold dear to their heart. And just the sheer art of them are amazing.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.