I totally loved being a stay at home mom and low key want to go back to being a stay at home mom. However, there are some mistakes I made being a stay at home mom. Here are some of my mistakes and tips for you, so you won’t make the same one’s I did.
First off, I didn’t think of it as a job. I felt like I wasn’t bringing in actual income, so I wasn’t contributing. Because I wasn’t “working” outside the home I felt I couldn’t ask for help. Nor could I even think about saying I was tired. That couldn’t been further from the truth. Let me tell you, running and maintaining a home is work. It’s constant managing and balancing everything. All the cooking, cleaning, and laundry you do is work and contributing to the home.
Giving your spouse the peace of mind to not worry about anything is a huge contribution. Whatever you do to make the home run smoothly, save money, and provide comfort is constant support. So yes, therefore it is a full time job and then some. There isn’t a dollar amount you can place on that.
The second mistake I made as a stay at home mom was not practicing self care. Once again because I didn’t work outside the home and had small babies at home, I had to be in sweats all day. So I thought. In my head, I wasn’t going anywhere on a daily, so why get up and do anything to myself. I really didn’t focus on myself or do much to boost my energy and self esteem. In my mind, I was a stay at home mom and that’s the only thing I was allowed to focus on.
The thought of me not bringing in any income, made me believe I didn’t deserve anything. That went across the board. Clothes, shoes, makeup, vacations, and any thing else I thought would make me happy.
Trust me your kids and partner want you to practice self care. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. You deserve to look good, feel good, and have whatever it is you want. You will feel better about yourself and approach the days with more excitement and enthusiasm.
The last mistake I made was not having a hobby outside of the family. I had nothing to focus on to keep my mental intact. Having that breather or moment to myself I didn’t give myself permission for. It is painfully important as a stay at home mom to have your own hobby Self Care: Hobbies and Activities. Something that is completely you. The one thing that gets your mind off of everything and refuels you.
If I could go back, I would definitely make time for myself, create a space for me to do something that makes me happy, and give myself a break. It truly is a honor and gift if you have the luxury to be a stay at home mom. Be thankful and grateful that you have that gift.
Obviously there are many factors that contributed to me having the feelings I did. For starters, I had no support from my family. However, my husband was amazing at encouraging and motivating me. He tried to do everything to make me feel good and a contributing partner. I was looked at as being lazy, messing up my kids because I didn’t put them in day care, and wasting my degree that I received. Because I was young, I began to believe certain things and internalized them. In my mind, I had a completely different point of view. However my efforts, to share and explain fell on deaf ears.
Being a stay at home mom is hard work and time is going to fly by. Take care of yourself first and the rest will fall into place. If you are a stay at home mom, know you are doing a great job. Don’t let lack of support or outsiders tell you any different. Seek support, encouragement, and motivation outside if you have to.
Be you so you can be free.