I know I know, it seems very harsh to tell someone your problem is yours. Well when I heard it, I felt and thought the same thing. She said no one cares that your feelings are hurt. Why are you constantly complaining about something that happened last week, last month, last year, or when you were thirteen. Within two days I heard this from two different people on two different media. It had me pondering.

a quote in a chain link fence

They are right!!!!!

We can’t erase or undo everything that has been said or done to us. In turn, we make it about what they said, what they did, how they made you feel, and nothing is about us. What someone else say or do has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with how they feel about themselves.

In our anger, hurt, and sadness we freeze and wait for that person to make everything right. When, if they thought they did something wrong they would have done it. If you get an apology the problem is still yours. On the other hand, if you don’t the problem is still yours. What is the apology going to do for you? Because emotions are raw, will you be in a place to receive the apology, accept it, and forgive? Everything was made about them and not you. 10 FUN JOURNAL PROMPTS TO GET YOUR MIND OFF YOUR PROBLEMS

We can pour our hearts out and the problem is still ours. Either one one of two things. They will understand and empathize. Or completely gaslight and blame you for taking it the way you did. In result, you’re left with fixing the problem.

No matter what, your problem is yours. You are the only one who can make yourself whole, process, and get through. A large mistake is waiting or expecting others to solve our problems. We’ll be waiting forever. I had this breakthrough when I had to ask myself what kind of relationship was I going to participate in with my mother. I’m not going to get the mother I wanted when I was little. No matter how much I’ve expressed to her my feelings nothing has changed. So what am I to do. I had to reconcile all that and accept the mother she chooses to be and engage on my terms.

If you’re battling some problems. It’s yours. Take your power back and fix it for yourself.


Be you so you can be free.


Trying to break or get out of a bad habit can sometimes feel like you’re on a hamster wheel. To begin getting through the habit there are some questions that needs answers. We would all love to just wake up one day and say it’s done, I’m never doing it again, or I understand. This came when I was speaking with someone regarding their poor financial habits.

person holding a pink poster with message
  1. What is the habit? Identify specifically what the habit is. For example, don’t say I have a problem with money. Say, I fail to budget. I don’t have a plan for my money. I spend money on take out food. Whatever it is that you’re trying to breakthrough write it down to the point.
  2. When did this become a habit? Think back to the point, event, or time your mind processed something and the habit was the solution. When thinking of the point get as descriptive as possible.
  3. What does this habit do for you? How does it comfort you? Even though you may identify it’s wrong or a bad habit, what temporary instant gratification do you get.
  4. When emotions calm down, do you feel remorse, guilt, and regret? Do you embrace it and apologize. Attempt to make it right. Or do you make excuses to justify the habit.
  5. What past trauma triggers or is associated with this habit. So often we respond to people, things, situations, or circumstances based on some unhealed experience.
  6. What positive habit can I replace it with? What are some actions, plans, and goals I can put into place to hold myself accountable. 6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

Those are six questions that would help you understand your mindset regarding the bad habit. Therefore, you’ll be able to reframe your mindset to a new positive mindset, attitude, and habit. It could be alcohol, money habits, using foul language, procrastinating, eating habits, or exercising or anything . Figure out your answers for you.


Be you so you can be free.


So I thought I’d pop on here real quick and remind everyone self care doesn’t absolve you of pain, hurt, anger, frustration, insecurities, and more. It gives you a foundation, balance, and practical ways to address and adapt to life as it comes. Practicing self care will evolve as you grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Your needs, wants, desires, likes, dis likes, level of tolerance, and so on will forever change. Remember your self care is for you.

woman watering the plants

What do you need on a daily to feel encouraged, supported, loved, and free to be you? Listen to your body when you’re feeling uneasy. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED How can you tap into yourself to soothe, heal, and grow through the distress. When feeling “Un”, what is it that has triggered you? Unloved, unattractive, unwanted, unappreciated, unhelpful, unworthy, unproductive, untrustworthy, unbalanced, and any un feeling you may encounter.

”Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.”- Mark Black

Self love and self care is prioritizing you so you can be at your best in the midst of happiness and sadness. Loving you is giving yourself permission to evolve, grow, heal, be better, do better, and live your life not live how others think you should. Practicing self care provides emotional riches for you to pull from in times of need and even in joy. Remember when you have a great day, moment, or event; celebrate it!!!!

In this time before the holiday season begin, give yourself time and permission to take care of you. It’s going to look different from time to time. And that is normal and ok. It will feel awkward and uncomfortable. It supposed to. At times you’re going to feel alone and lonely. That is normal and supposed to happen. Thoughts of confusion, feeling misunderstood, and giving up will creep in, that is normal. Remember your why.

Self care is a journey. You’re unlearning, to relearn. Challenging every thing you thought was right or what was taught. Going against the grain. Give yourself permission. Patience. Time. Enjoy your day!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


”Everyone always asks if you have a career, are married or own a house; as if life was some kind of grocery list. But nobody ever asks if you’re happy.”- Heath Ledger

woman smiling and holding a bunch of flowers

And this is why so many people are sad, stressed, and depressed. They are in fear of not checking off this list. The feeling of being unsuccessful, losing out on life, and not living according to how society think you should be living. The truth is you can have the spouse, house, kids, dog, career, and be the most unhappy person. So for those who feel like they are missing out or aren’t where they think they should be, you’re exactly where you need to be. Your life path is yours. 10 FUN JOURNAL PROMPTS TO GET YOUR MIND OFF YOUR PROBLEMS Comparing ourselves to others based on what we see on the outside will kill our confidence faster than lightening. Draw inspiration from those who are peaceful to be around, finds joy in the small things, provides comfort in happy and sad times. What no one tells you is when you are truly at peace with who you are, it is the most spiritual, powerful, freeing, and human experience you can have. Find your peace within. Without the riches. Without the partner. Without the house. Without the career. Once you have that richness in yourself, everything else will flow. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


How can you have luxury self care on a budget? Focus on what you do best and nurture it. Listen to your body, mind, and heart to help you focus on what you need to soothe yourself. Any self care you do is a luxury to you. However, here are a couple of tips and tricks I use to mix things up and use my resources.

a woman sitting on the armchair while reading

-Walk. Simple. Easy. Can be done in your neighborhood, treadmill, trail, or park. Lately, as the weather gets cooler and daylight becomes limited, I’ve explored walking the mall. That has been fulfilling, engaging, and fresh. I’ll go the last hour before it closes, and get a 3 mile walk in.

-Word search. One of my favorite hobbies or past times. Word search keeps me engaged, thinking, focused, and off my phone or television. Usually when I go to the dollar store I’ll grab 2 or 3. Again, affordable, great for your brain, concentration, and can be done anywhere. Keep one in your purse so while you’re in a waiting room, you can word search instead of scrolling.

”Caring for your body, mind, and spirit is your greatest and grandest responsibility. It’s about listening to the needs of your soul and then honoring them.”-Kristi Ling

-By Nature Vitamin C +Collagen Face Mask. Whenever I want to spend some extra TLC on my skin I’ll purchase a sheet mask. I love By Nature sheet masks because they fit my entire face including the big forehead. I actually see plumped, moisturized, and smooth skin after the 20 minutes. Because the sheet masks are extra soiled, I have enough serum left in the package to use the next day. One runs $2.49 or 4 pack on Amazon for $7.99. Doesn’t break the bank, have glowing skin, and spent quality time with yourself. SELF CARE IS A LIFESTYLE

-Press On Nails. I’ve always enjoyed doing my own hair and nails. About 2 months ago I decided to give press on nails a try, and never looked back. My manicures weren’t lasting too long. Redoing the mani throughout the week was becoming time consuming with my schedule and kids. Yes, I’ve tried long wearing, gel polish, instant dry, nail dry spray, and no matter what with my daily life it wasn’t lasting. With press ons, they don’t chip, last 2 weeks, give me a boost in my femininity, gives me more creativity, and something my daughter and I do together. Finally they are so good, people think I’ve spent money going to the nail salon. Depending on the brand we spend $10-$15 on a pack. We both get a set for 2 weeks and can rotate them out.

-Creating new recipes. Currently I’m loving my Coffee Mate Cinnamon Vanilla Creamer. Adding a drop of caramel sugar free syrup gives me a great cup of coffee or latte. Couple that with my cream cheese croissants makes my Saturday morning a chefs kiss. Other recipes I’ve been enjoying are homemade bowls. Why Chipotle when I can do that at home. Lastly, Mediterranean salad recipes. This gives me variety, lots of flavor, fulfilling, healthy, and easy meals. It’s literally using what you already have in the kitchen.

Those are a couple of examples of luxury self care. Focus on what you want to experience. How do you want to feel. What aren’t you getting. Expand your idea of self care. It’s yours. Have a great day!!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


You can have a great week or 2 days. But when that bad day happens out of nowhere, it throws our balance off. Keeping mental health reminders daily, weekly, or monthly is essential to keeping your mental bank in the green. I was one that thought I could make a deposit every once in a while, but quickly realized to get where I wanted mentally and emotionally I had to do daily deposits.

crop woman writing down notes in diary

10 Mental Health Reminders

  1. Be happy in the journey. In every stage and step enjoy where you are. Remember the step you’re at now is where you once prayed to get to.
  2. Document your process or journey. This road is going to go on a roundabout, curve, highway, through, valleys, mountains, and on a dirt road. This journey isn’t linear. You’re going to get off course for a reason.
  3. Set small goals. Don’t overwhelm yourself with going 100 miles. Get to 10 miles, celebrate it, document those 10 miles, and push to the next 20.
  4. Do something every day. I don’t care how big or small. Do something for your well-being everyday. Read, write your thoughts, talk to a friend, educate yourself on something you want to do.
  5. Let go of what you can’t control. It’s wasting time worrying about something old, done, and you can’t change. 7 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS FOR EMOTIONAL DAYS
  6. Eliminate stress. Whatever it is that soothes you, use it and release tensions. You can’t operate dehydrated, overworked, tired, and stretched thin. Boundaries.
  7. Work on not entertaining negative self talk, negative interactions with others, negative thoughts, negative content, and immediately replace with affirmations, prayer, and happy thoughts.
  8. Write 10 things you are grateful for everyday. This will put your spirit in a place of peace and comfort. In turn, will allow you to enjoy where you are.
  9. Do not respond emotionally. Nor respond to anyone who is emotional. Let things simmer. Feelings are temporary. No one is receptive when emotions are high. That’s why when things calm down backpedaling happens.
  10. Be patient with yourself, the process, and where you are. When it’s time to progress you will. Get all you need at each step to fulfill yourself.

Those are 10 mental health reminders that I repeat when times are good and times get tough. Feelings and emotions are temporary. So are situations and circumstances. Have a great day!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


As I’ve progressed in my self awareness journey I’ve mastered the skill of being present in the moment and able to receive the messages as they come. If I ever have to question what faith, hope, and belief look like I witnessed it first hand. And more importantly there was action behind the belief.

close up of hands

As I sit and listen to her answer the question “So how is your mom doing?”, her voice doesn’t quiver. She doesn’t hesitate to say “it’s not the absolute worst nor is it better.” She confessed her mother had several mini strokes which led to her dementia. Then she delivered what faith, hope, and belief looks like: She said, “My hope is that mom has a final stroke and she goes in her sleep.”

Now on the surface you would clutch your pearls. But when you believe and have faith, you know living with a loved one who has no quality of life, has pain around the clock, loss of appetite, loss of movement in limbs, lack of awareness of themselves and loved ones, that isn’t the life you’d hope for for them. Yes, we want them around but at some point it becomes selfish. In result, whenever they do transition, we are left with the pain of what their last days reflected. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

As she describes the emotional and physical toll it takes to care for her aging mother that has dementia, she’s still very self aware of her own needs. She told her mom, I have to go out and see people. She refuses to give up her life. Her hobbies, craft and book club weekly meetings. As well as church.

As she was speaking I could’t help but reflect on the countless family members and friends that gave up their life taking care of their loved one. After my grandma transitioned, all the arrangements and services were done, my mom sat at the table and said, “I don’t know what to do everyday.” Why? Because for months she gave up her entire being to take care of grandma.

Even in the midst of grief, her ability to have self awareness, emotional wellness, and boundaries inspired me to continue. We’re going to experience some raw emotions and experiences, but all the while it’s still priority to put ourselves first. No matter what the situation is, we are left with ourselves to move on.

Have faith, hope, and belief. Believe you have the power and strength to do all things and over come all things. Just because you’re having a hiccup doesn’t mean to lack self care. If anything, ramp it up.


Be you so you can be free.


Most of us use the weekend for relaxation, reset, and rest. Throughout the week I had some light bulb moments, great conversations, and read some really great passages that I’d like to pass on. As you prepare for your weekend here are some self care reminders to get you jump started.

”Sleeping in on a Saturday always feels like a little bit of heaven. “-Carla Kringer

peaceful young ethnic lady resting near window and knitting
  1. It’s ok to have nothing to say. If you’re in a group or having a conversation, it’s ok to listen and not have a response to everything that is said. One piece of advice I received long ago, was to only answer the question that is asked. How many times do we answer and then give some extra sauce. Another thing I noticed is when it’s a silent moment or dead air, someone will say something to fill that silence. No need for that. Enjoy the mood and company. The conversation will naturally flow.
  2. Live in the now. Stop postponing your happiness. No I’m not talking about starting your business or moving. But how often have you or someone you know postpone everyday life things. When I get the money, then I’ll go to the doctor. I can’t do this until I finish this. When I finally get over this hump then I’ll be able to. Make your appointments. Do what you need to do. Once you get over one hump the next is waiting. My husband and I joke all the time about when we were little how often our parents must have said, “wait until next time.” Chile that next time never came. What are you actually waiting for? WEEKEND SELF CARE TO DO LIST
  3. Ask for what you need or want. This year for my birthday when my husband asked me what I wanted I gave him a list. Usually I’ll say it doesn’t matter, whatever you feel in your heart, or I’ll say nothing. Well, when my birthday arrived, I received what was on my list. In turn I was very happy and grateful. Which sparked another light bulb reminder. Don’t ever feel guilty for what you want. It’s perfectly ok to want things or to go somewhere. Especially when someone asks, tell them.

Those are my 3 self care reminders for the weekend. As you enjoy your time off remember to enjoy being in the moment, make sure what you say is meaningful and has a perspective, live for the now. You don’t have to wait for anything to be happy. Choose happiness now. Lastly, be clear on what you want, who you want, and what you need. Have a great weekend!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


As I continue on my journey, I am acknowledging, without guilt, my moments that make me feel good or show growth. Last week I had three moments where I was proud of myself for letting go, not allowing guilt to consume me, and relaxing.

sticky notes on glass wall
  1. Rest and relax. Many times we say we are relaxing but still our minds may be occupied with work, family, schedule, kids, to do list, housework, and other tasks. On Saturday morning we woke up early to be out for a 9:00 am parade. I usually like to have a slow Saturday morning and let the day come to me. However, after the parade I was cold, because fall weather decided to show up that morning. My cheeks were frozen along with my fingertips. I began cleaning the kitchen and fixing something quick to eat. Ran the dishwasher and said “I’m done.” I changed into some comfy clothes, put my rollers back in my hair, got my cup of coffee, and binged on a show. I eventually fell asleep for a nap and didn’t feel guilty. In result, my body and mind well rested.
  2. Release my control and let my children be. My son wanted to cook his own lunch using the griddle. Usually I’ll say, I can cook you something. SideNote: The struggle in realizing my kids no longer need me is real. But I knew he wanted to cook for himself. So he asked me what to do. I told him what to do, make sure he cleans, and went back to my room to binge. I was proud of myself. The mom in me is letting my kids go. He did an amazing job. The food turned out good. He cleaned the kitchen and was proud of himself. It was great for the both of us.
  3. Didn’t take ownership of my moms behavior. While out one day, someone came up to me and expressed how she didn’t have a good interaction with my mom. She asked how she was doing. Without blinking I said she is doing great. I just left her. Two things I was proud of. First my initial reaction wasn’t to apologize. Typically we feel the need to apologize and we had nothing to do with the situation or wasn’t even about us. We mistake apologizing for making someone feel better. No, that is taking ownership. Stop taking ownership for stuff that ain’t yours. Second she didn’t ask me a question until she said “How is your mom doing?”. Again I’ve learned to actively listen. Answer what is asked and stop giving up information when not asked or necessary.

Those were my 3 self care moments that made me proud. Gave me the confidence to continue, know I’m on the right path, and stay in the moment. At the end of each day or week pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments. Nothing is ever too small or too big . TGIF: SELF CARE IS ALL AROUND YOU


Be you so you can be free.


”Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives. And if things don’t work out take another shot.” @mypositiveoutlooks

selective focus photography of woman holding dslr camera

No matter how bad it was, it’s not forever. Each day you wake up you can do things differently. You have the opportunity to take another shot at this thing called life. You get to live your life how you see fit and the way you want. When you have a great day or moment, celebrate and enjoy them. You’ve earned them. We can’t stop the bad days or moments from happening, but we can focus on how we approach them. So often we get depressed, angry, and resentful because we’re living how others think we should live. We’re living based off our circumstances. Circumstances are temporary. We shouldn’t make lifetime decisions based off short term experiences. With each obstacle we learn, gain strength, courage, knowledge, and wisdom. When you see your favorite person you follow and their picture is “perfect “, guess what, they took about 200 selfies to get that perfect shot. Along with that they’ve edited, filtered, and did whatever else they felt they needed to get it to look how they wanted. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER Feelings and emotions are temporary. People come and go in our lives. We change careers. Our weight fluctuates. The seasons and weather changes. In life, we change. If you didn’t like how today’s picture looked, focus on how you’re going to make it better tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.