I HAD TO TAKE MY OWN ADVICE

I had to take my own advice and pause for a moment. These last couple of months has been a season of change. In order to be in the moment, understand my assignement and what I was supposed to get out of it, I had to give myself permission to focus. Not just focus, but prioritize and make sure my feet were planted.

As I’ve stated in some previous posts, late August I accepted a position that I’d been wanting and working hard for. With that came the transiton of working remotely full time, a 12 week fast track training, and longer hours. Not to mention this began at the very start of the school year.

Trying to juggle the new postion, transition my home and create an office space, and manage school activities I felt like a hamster on a wheel. Along with that, I was still freelancing and selling on Poshmark. Yes, I know, doing wayyyyyy too much.

Although I asked for each gift, position, and blessing I knew I couldn’t put a 100% into all of them. Plus keep my sanity, be a mom, wife, and maintain my home. So I took my own advice and paused for a moment. I needed to reset my mind and expectations. First on the whole idea of working from home full time. My lifestyle was going to change vastly.

I decided to spend Saturday morning 2-3 hours posting and creating new Poshmark listings. That way throughout the week I can manage and maintain my closet. I use my lunch and breaks to drop my sales off at the post office. Next, I accept freelance contracts that doesn’t take too much of my time. Which ironically I’ve enjoyed and been able to deliver great pieces of work.

But I will say that has been the one ironic thing about this entire situation. My self awareness, self care, and mental health has been great and heightened. I knew it was going to be a change and I had to work at it everyday while on this new path and journey.

Working from home allows me to get laundry done throughout the day and even get dinner done by the time the kids get home from school. Therefore, it frees my time up to be with the family when I get off. I still wake up early in the morning before everyone else and tidy if I hadn’t done so the night before. I’m able to have a moment to myself, get dressed, and mentally prepare for the day.

I’ve added 10 minutes of meditation before starting work. Increased my reading time during breaks and before I go to bed. Maintaining my cut off time of 9p.m. No matter what hasn’t been done or said checking out mentally and emotionally has helped me keep my joy and peace. I’ve noticed I have a great nights sleep when I sleep with the oil diffuser going.

Because I am remote, and we have to be on camera quite a bit, my skin care has also heightened. I take my time on my night time skin care routine to ensure I awake with bright, smooth, moisturized, and glowing skin. In the morning I keep my skincare routine to a minimum while focusing on my eyes and moisture. Working remotely also has me playing around with minimal makeup looks to make sure I am still professional and work ready. Lastly, I still get dressed as if I am going into the office. Outside of my comfy fuzzy socks.

Now my schedule is about to change again this week. I’ve learned to get comfortable with change and I really do enjoy my job and all the blessings I’ve been privileged to have. I am very thankful for the self awareness most of all. The ability to be honest with myself and say you need to prioritize, reset expectations I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS, and not over extend yourself has been the best self care I can ever do or have for myself.

It’s the end of the year and holiday season. Before you have a blow up, a breakdown, or get sick, take a break or step away. Ask yourself what is more important to you in this season or journey. What shall you let go of. What is worth putting time and effort into. Have I neglected my mental, physical, and emotional health. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY

Not everyone that comes into your life will be there for a lifetime. Some people are just meant to be in your life temporarily. In fact, most are just making a pit stop into your journey of life. And guess what, that is perfectly ok. There isn’t a reason to get upset, sad, or lose sleep over it. In actuality, even those that are there for a moment, will drop some valuable lessons and gems before leaving.

I just had this conversation with my son who’s a junior in high school. He’s beginning to realize some he thought was his friends really aren’t. Those who he thought would be there for the long haul has moved on to another destination. I had to remind him of how valuable and precious he is. Along with the best piece of advice I received when I first went to high school. That was “Your friends you have your freshman year, will not be your same friends your senior year.” That advice the teacher gave me could not have been more true. That statement holds true into adult hood.

As life flows so does we. Experiences and circumstances have us growing in many directions. So the friends you have in your 20s probably will fall off by the time your 30s roll in. When you hit your 40s that lightbulb gets so bright and your circle get even smaller.

The twist is, it doesn’t mean that you have this big fight or falling out. You just out grow some people. As we develop, we walk down different paths that put distance between us. Sometimes we circle back. Other times, we wave from a distance. Either way you’re going to be ok. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

Those that were your friends in the beginning can’t always go with you. As you grow they may not be ready to grow. So sometimes you’ll have to leave them where they are until you guys catch up, if you do. But the worse thing to do is stop your progress because someone isn’t ready to grow with you.

Love yourself enough to be aware and know who is meant to be in your life temporarily. Let relationships be what they are, not what you think they should be or hope to be. Many times we hurt ourselves holding on to some relationships too long. It may hurt letting some relationships fizzle out. But trust yourself and the process. Trying to hold on to a relationship that’s dead will lead to resentment, stress, frustration and loss of happiness. The pain of dead weight is worse than working the pounds off.

Give your authentic self. Know what you want and need out of each relationship you have. Be vocal. Have healthy boundaries. Love and show compassion. Finally having 2 great relationships is better than having 10 one sided unhealthy relationships.

Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

“How does the believe I must be loved by everyone to be happy lead to unreasonable expectations and feelings of depression?”-Unknown

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

8 WAYS TO FILL YOUR CUP UP

We’ve all heard the term “you can’t run on an empty cup”. There are several ways we can fill our cup to ensure the overall health of our wellness. Here are 8 ways I fill my cup for myself before pouring into others.

“Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

-Binge watch a show you’ve recorded, been wanting to watch, or just heard so much about. I find when I make it point to sit down and watch TV, and the show is good, I get me in a good couch potato moment. Because the show is so good I can’t stop watching it. Thus I’ve had some much needed relaxing time for my body and brain not thinking about work, chores, kids activities, or anything else.

-Put the phone down. I’ve been filling my cup with this wellness tip very much lately. First I’m lazy. I don’t like holding the phone, talking on it too long, nor do I have the desire to text a whole dissertation. Because I’ve deleted my social media ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED it’s enabled me to become more creative in other areas. Challenge yourself to put the phone down. If you can’t, find something productive to read or watch a motivational video. It helps so much for your mental health.

-Have a private dance party session. So I get these in after I work out or clean up. I have my ear buds in and while I’m stretching or doing a cool down I make sure to dance and sing so loud as if I’m actually in a club. This allows my alter ego to let lose. Get funny and do things that you definitely will not have the confidence to do outside.

-Indulge in your favorite meal. Don’t deprive yourself because you need to watch your diet due to medical reasons or trying to remain physically fit. Every once in a while treat yourself to your favorite meal. You deserve it and earned it with all your hard work.

-Get some fresh air. Get outside. It doesn’t just have to be a walk. You can garden if that is your pass time of choice. Talk to a neighbor. Go walk the dog. Stand on the porch for a few minutes. Fresh air is one of the best ways to clear your mind and get an instant refresh.

-Have some me time. Take care of you. Pamper yourself. Clean your car. Change your home around. Get some new photos or decor up to recharge. Me time isn’t always about mani and pedi, facials, and going to the salon. Although that is important. But when I take my car to the car wash I have me time. Trying a new recipe and really working hard for it to come out great is me time as well. Do something that makes you feel free.

”Jobs fill your pocket, adventures fill your soul.”

-Have a good conversation with yourself. Talk to you about how you’re feeling. What has you upset or feeling anxious. How did you handle a situation you wish you could have done differently. Talk to yourself aloud and be honest with yourself. Only you know how you feel and what you really desire and think. THE ONLY PERSON YOU OWE IS…YOU

-Watch a motivational video or Ted Talk. I did not realize how much these videos open my eyes to a new perspective, idea, or communication. In addition to teaching me about myself and what my bad habits are. What I’ve done to hurt others or said. Even though we may have the best intentions, sometimes it doesn’t come out right or it isn’t the best timing. While cooking and cleaning I love to get in a good motivational video.

Those are 8 wellness tips I use to fill my cup before I pour into others. We can’t be of service to others and ourselves if we aren’t doing the work. Filling your own cup first, set an example. Sometimes we don’t have to say anything. Just by you practicing better habits and becoming a better you, will inspire someone else. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE OUT THERE Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”-J.R.R. Tolkien

We all get the same amount of time in a day. It is what we do with that 24hours that makes us different. What do you spend the most time doing? What do you spend the least time doing? Is there something you need more time for? The answer is write down your priorities, needs, and wants. Take a good look at what you put the most time in. That tells you what you value, rather good or bad. Do you spend a great amount of time scrolling on social media? Or on the other hand spending too much time at the office. If you are wishing there were more hours in a day, stop wishing. Reallocate your time to fit your priorities, hobbies, and desires. The time is given to us. We have complete control and free will to spend those 24hours how we see fit. TIME AND PATIENCE ARE TWO IMPORTANT FACTORS FOR GROWTH Make the best of it. Because time is one thing we can’t get back or make up for. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES

Have you ever looked back and realized there are some things that you naturally do without thinking? Those are your self care habits and activities that makes you feel good and get you through the day. I have some simple favorite self care activities that makes a huge difference in my daily routine.

My Morning Routine
My morning routine helps me start my day in a positive mindset, makes me feel good, and provides confidence. The simple act of telling myself it’s going to be a great day instantly motivates me to get out of bed. My morning skin care routine is the most important self care activity I do. The act of washing my face, applying serum, and moisturizer gives me the confidence needed to put my best foot forward the rest of the day. I take my time doing my skincare routine and enjoy the act of taking care of my skin.

Weekly Hair Mask
I’ve always loved doing my own beauty routines and rituals. I enjoy trying different hair products and masks to maintain the health of my hair. I’m always going back and forth in wearing my hair naturally curly and straightening it. Deep conditioning regularly has helped me maintain the health of my hair. MY NATURAL HAIR LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP

Maintaining My Home
I love being a wife and mom. Creating an environment to give my family peace, love, and comfort is never ending for me. Keeping my house clean, smelling good with inviting with comfort scents, and visual peace is joy for me. Knowing when we’re on vacation and one of my kids says, I’m ready to go home, warms my heart. Having a home and a place to where myself and family can feel the most safe will always take priority. Also to whomever, comes over and needs that sense of peace.

clear glass pitcher filled with clear liquid and slices of lemon

Drinking Water
The older I get the more in tuned I am in taking care of my body. Drinking an excess amount of water daily is my goal from the time I wake up. It allows me to flush out my system, eliminates bloating in my stomach, and keeps my skin clear. I feel much better when I maintain a certain amount of daily water intake. Staying hydrated and drinking water is the easiest self care activity you can do for yourself.

Doing Nothing
Having a moment to self and doing nothing is probably one of my favorite activities. I try to take advantage of moments when I can. I intentionally have a moment in the morning before I go to work. Sometimes I’ll sit on the couch, with my coffee, and look out the window. No phone or television on to provide distraction or interruption. The ability to not think about anything and just daydream is great for my mental and emotional health.

Staying Off My Phone
It’s no secret I’m not a fan of social media. But intentionally staying off my phone has become an increasing self care activity for me. I don’t have the images and thoughts of others constantly in front of me. Staying off the phone allows me to avoid consciously or unconsciously comparing my life to others. Lastly, it forces me to do something else creative or productive. ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED

Walking/Exercise
Of course, walking had to make this list. I walk more for my mental clarity and peace than to lose weight or stay fit. After a walk I’m relieved mentally and emotionally. I no longer feel tension or the anxiety from the events of the day or week. If I don’t walk, my body feels weird like somethings missing. Getting in a good sweat and releasing toxins is good for your overall wellness. Walking is the easiest, free, and most beneficial exercise for everyone. 10 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

Night Routine
In the last couple of weeks I’ve noticed my night routine I do without thinking. While I’m washing off my makeup or just cleansing my skin I reflect on the day and release. I’m in a mental state of clearing my mind and feeling lighter. I always have to put on some type of facial mask which makes me feel like I’m pulling the entire day out of my skin. The shower or bath I take, washes the day away and get me prepared for the next. I’m calm, settled, and have a free mental state to head to bed. The goal is to not go to bed heavy.

Those are just some self care activities I noticed I do without thinking and in routine. So often you hear people ask how do I get into routine or habits. Well sometimes if we pause, look at our daily habits, we’ll notice self care is already being practiced.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”The six best doctors: sunshine, water, rest, air, exercise, and diet.”-Wayne Fields

Everything you need to feel better, look better, and heal is right at your finger tips. The best resources that are available to us all is free and limitless. Going outside for a simple walk provides fresh air for you to breath, activity for your limbs, new scenery for you to recharge, and a distraction from all the problems holding you down. Dieting doesn’t mean deprive yourself of all the good food. It’s about moderation and portion control. Simply cut your portions in half, drink more water, and add activity. You will begin to see a difference in your body. To begin healing and feeling better it all starts from within. Open the blinds and curtains to let natural light in. I guarantee you the instant boost to want to do something with yourself and for yourself will kick in. Secondly, give yourself permission to rest and unplug from work, home, and technology. It will clear your mind and heart to move forward with a clear lens. JUST TAKE ONE DAY AND BE WORRY FREE Lastly, get outside and get you some fresh air and look at a life from a different perspective. You’ll feel lighter and brighter instantly. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do. Not a punishment for what you do.”-Women’s Health UK

selective focus photography of woman in white sports brassiere standing near woman sitting on pink yoga mat

I was one of those who dreaded working out. It was more of a chore instead of me making it apart of my daily lifestyle. Once I made the decision to do the workouts that benefited my body and more importantly what body was capable of doing, it became fun. My husband would do all these extreme workouts and programs, that worked great for him. But when I tried my body didn’t respond, I didn’t enjoy it, and I lost interest and motivation. Yes, there is a great deal of content on exercise. But experiment until you find your niche. Now I can’t go a day without going for a walk. I get more results walking and doing minor strength training than following any program out there. But that what works for me. Find something fun, that you can’t wait to do each day. And you don’t just have to stick to that one thing, variety is your friend when it comes to exercise. Lastly, we only get one body. When we get older we can’t trade it in for a new one. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

5 WINS OF THE WEEK

One of the things I’ve really been trying to do is appreciate the “small” wins in my life. Happiness doesn’t come from some grand gesture or thing. It’s built in your daily habits. Those small things that you do without thinking or look over is apart of the bigger happiness in your life. Here are my 5 wins this week.

multicolored letter blocks on pink background

Wins of the Week

Earlier in the week we did a family trip to the store and got all the school supplies the kids needed. Typically I would wait until the last minute or just pick them up a little at a time. But I wanted to do something different and take them along and let them check the stuff off the list themselves. JUST TAKE ONE DAY AND BE WORRY FREE As a bonus I was able to already have 2 backpacks ordered, still waiting on my oldest son to tell us what he wants to do.
Had a really good conversation with a childhood friend. She’s an assistant principal and I always like to check in on her to see how she’s doing as she prepares for the upcoming year. It’s been mentally challenging the last couple of years for her and we actually help each other get through the year. Also it was great catching up and picking up where we left off since the last time we talked. Great friendships are so needed right now.
Began publishing my “Mental Note Of The Day”. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY I’ve always wanted to do this but I didn’t know if anyone would want to read it. One of the best ways I get through my day is to indulge in quotes, scriptures, and passages. Then I take those small tokens and apply it to my current life situations. It helps me put things in perspective and give me inspiration to get through each day. They are little nuggets of motivation that takes one minute to read but provide an endless supply of comfort.
Had a day to go out to dinner. My youngest son had been asking us to go out to eat. So finally, we all had a day to where we were available. After not going out for a while, it was very refreshing to hang out with the kids and see where their head is before school begins. As my kids get older, I know I won’t have too many more times they’ll want to hang out. My husband and I take the chances as they come.
This week I gave myself permission to just be. The last couple of weeks, I’ve been experiencing some heart palpitations more than normal. I decided at the beginning of the week to focus on my diet, exercise, and not have a care for anything or anyone. I didn’t think I was stressing but I wanted to focus on what I can do that’s in my control. After eating clean for the week, still exercising, going to bed a little earlier, and just not worrying about what others need, think, or feel I’ve had little to no palpitations.

Those were my 5 wins of the week. I was able to have some quality family time. Was productive in getting some things done off my list. In addition to having accomplished tasks for my blog, my hobby, and its for me. Good conversation and focused on my mental and physical health. Not every week will you be able to hit every aspect of self care. But, hitting one prong of self care is a win.

Not every week will I have 5 wins. Some weeks, I may get so overwhelmed to where I only get one or three. Either way, a win is a win. Celebrate your wins. In your next journal session talk about your win or wins of the week or day.

Be well on you journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Focus on the solution, not the problem.”-@meditationmoments

One of the biggest factors that keeps us in a funk or dark place is dwelling on what happened. We’ve told the story a million times over. The situation is on repeat in our head. We can’t sleep, eat, work, or do anything else. What we focus on and put our energy into is what we become. So instead of repeating the problem or situation that happened, think of solutions to correct the problem. What do you need to learn from it? How can this problem be avoided in the future? Focusing your attention and energy on the solution will lift your spirits, give you motivation to move forward in your daily life, and heighten your awareness. WE HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE A CHOICE Yes, we do need to acknowledge the problem. How it happened and what our role was in it. After that, redirect your attention to the solution. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.