5 PHRASES TO REMOVE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY

One day I sat back and realized certain comments or phrases I make can be damaging to my mental and emotional health. As I was reflecting one day on the impact of me making a commitment to not complain has truly been encouraging, it lead me to make a commitment to remove some language from my vocabulary . I only want to speak into existence positive goals, values, and affirmations. Also growth. Here are a few phrases I realized I say too often that I need to try to eliminate.

words text scrabble blocks
  • “Is it something wrong with me?” When I feel differently or have a different point of view and I felt it wasn’t received how I intended I would immediately question myself. I had to learn my thoughts, point of view, and ideas are valid, unique to me, and my point of view can help others sometimes.
  • “I’m sorry to bother you.” Whenever I need to ask for help or a question, especially if I feel like I should know it, I would say this. I never wanted to be a burden. But I know that I’m not being a bother, I’m seeking information and clarity on something. It’s ok to ask for help or ask questions when needed. It’s best to ask all the questions you need rather than guess and go down a path of wrong turns.
  • “What I’m not going to do is…” I’ve learned saying this limits my growth. This also puts in the universe that I’m not willing to even think about the possibilities of doing something new, growing or learning. Instead I’ve learned to say that’s something I’ve never done but I can try.
  • “I’m tired.” Along with not complaining, saying I’m tired had such a negative connotation. Yes we all do get drained and just want to collapse. But I do understand at that point my mind and body has done all it could do for that day. Because sometimes I would begin to notice that I wasn’t physically tired but more emotionally or mentally tired from the events of the day.
  • “I know I shouldn’t do this but…” That phrase already sets up for a guilt trip after said event takes place. I’ve learned to make decisions that are good for me. As long as I want to do it, I’m not going to make excuses for wanting to do it.

Those are a couple of phrases that I’ve realized have some negative impact on my thoughts. As we all know our thoughts become our actions and how we feel. Part of healing and growing is realizing what we can do for ourselves to make each day as peaceful and positive as we can. At the end of the day we aren’t perfect but we can try to be as good to ourselves as the day allows. 6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

15 THINGS TO STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR

One of the biggest parts of healing and growing is realizing you have the right to make choices and to not feel guilty about them. Often times, we beat ourselves up for doing things or creating boundaries to protect us because it may not be the most comfortable decision. However, we shall not feel guilty for protecting our peace, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Through my process here are 15 things I had to stop feeling guilty for and give myself some grace.

blur close up coffee coffee cup

Stop Feeling Guilty For…

  1. Eating some ice cream or your favorite dessert.
  2. Not cleaning or doing laundry.
  3. Taking PTO.
  4. Sleeping IN.
  5. Not returning a text or call.
  6. Making a mistake.
  7. Needing help.
  8. Not knowing an answer to something.
  9. Feeling sad or not in a good mood.
  10. Saying no.
  11. Skipping a workout.
  12. Cutting someone off.
  13. Declining an invitation.
  14. Wanting to purchase you something just because.
  15. Needing some comfort or love.

Those are a few things that I had to stop feeling guilty for. I have to remind myself all the time, life is a journey. There will be twist and turns as I travel. With each step I will learn, grow, and become a better person. GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE… Even on the the bumpy parts of the road. That’s when you learn the most about yourself. It is so freeing to be able to make yourself feel good without worrying if someone is going to feel uncomfortable.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS: KEEPING MYSELF CENTERED

Over the last six months I’ve made a huge transition in my professional career and it has been a challenge finding balance with the schedule. I envisioned this position for a couple of years and now it’s almost as if I’m not really living in that vision sometimes. Trying to keep balance of being a mom, wife, the blog, and other ventures I had to really think, pause and center myself. Think about this new chapter, where I am going, and what I want to do.

sticky notes on glass wall

But first there are some mental health reminders I had to activate and actively practice to get me to my understanding, self awareness, and peace with myself. As we grow and transition in life our mental and emotional health also transitions. It is up to us to be aware and recognize there are some mental health habits that needs more practice, some needs to be substituted, and others we may have to adopt all together.

  1. There is power in honesty. The immense amount of power that you receive when you are honest with yourself can be overwhelming. I’ve come to know the more honest I am with how I am feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally helps me with the next step in recognizing the why. When you own your truth no one can abuse you or use your truth against you. I began to peel back the layers in why certain things were making me feel uncomfortable or why I may not have 100% locked in. Also being honest about what you want to do in life and not feel bad. My biggest hurdle was speaking aloud, even though I had this amazing position with great benefits, flexibility, and support, my heart was still yearning for the dream God placed in me. I’ve heard it a million times, once God places a vision or dream in you, no matter what you do or have, that dream or vision isn’t going to leave you. So now I am at a place to figure how to deliver on what was placed in me.
  2. My happiness has to come from me. No one person, no amount of money, material things, or event can give me happiness. I have to be happy with who I am at this current moment, in this body, in this skin, in this home, with all the blessings I’ve been given. My happiness has to come from me knowing it is ok to dream big, have dreams no one understands, and that they can happen if I do the work. There is no such thing as I’ll be happy when….Everything that you have right now is what you’ve asked for. Now, is it ok to always want to grow, be better, do better and have better, absolutely. I know I have the right to do what makes me happy and I don’t need permission from anyone to do so. I was speaking to a client earlier in the week and she was a mature woman in her 60s. She was retired but substitute teacher part time and show homes for Redfin part time. In the middle of the conversation she says I can work when I want. I’m a little vain, I like to get Botox. She is happy living her life and doing what makes her happy. You have to be fearless when it comes to your happiness.
  3. There is power in writing. Writing down your dreams. Vision for your life. Your fears. Your wants. Your desires. Whatever comes to mind, there is power in writing. I am an advocate for journaling. However, I now know the power in writing everyday. Sometimes I write 2x a day. An hour before work I sit down and write. No plan. Just pen to paper. The thoughts you can purge is gratifying. The prayers and conversation you can have speaking with God and writing your dreams down is powerful. I’ve heard many say writing is therapeutic, they are right. In the beginning I had no idea how to write, what to say, or where to begin. I purchased these amazing Inspirational Journals from the dollar store of all places and I haven’t been able to put the pen down. They are themed scripture based prompts for you to write. I read the verse at the top of the page and write down my interpretation in the spiritual sense, mental and emotional wellbeing, and in my lifestyle. For only $1, each day I can journal my way to peace and happiness. The themes are Truth, Joy, Courage, and Wisdom.

Those are three mental health reminders that I’ve over worked these last several months. My self awareness has afforded me great understanding and healing. Writing has been the best to get my honest thoughts out without judgement or embarrassment. Fearing no one will understand. And my understanding of knowing each day I am on a journey there is no destination to happiness. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s always evolving. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY: NEW YEAR EDITION

“Just a reminder that you don’t have to make resolutions. Or huge decisions. Or big proclamations. You can just set some sweet intentions and take each day as it comes.” Victoria Erickson

letter tiles beside mandarins

Please don’t feel the pressure to make some grand resolutions or major life changes. Typically any kind of lifestyle change or habit has to be developed. You don’t just wake up one day and say I’m going to start this and sustain that resolution long term. Hence, why most new year resolutions don’t make it past the end of January. To begin anything, you have to make a commitment mentally first. Instead create small goals, tasks, and intentions that you can stick to for a while and then add as you go. 10 NEW YEAR SELF CARE HABITS FOR A FRESH START The small daily self care habits and intentions are what builds up to a major lifestyle change. The last couple weeks of December I made a commitment to speak at least 3-5 affirmations aloud to myself in the mirror every morning. Sometimes I will do it in the middle of the day and before I go to bed. This gives me the mental mindset to remain positive, calm, and take action throughout the day to reach my goals. Setting small intentions for the day or week is easier attainable than long term goals. Instead of saying I’m going to lose 20lbs this month, commit to “I will work out 20 minutes 3x a week.” You’ll find that is easier to follow through with. Sometimes we can bite off more than we can chew. Which leads to discouragement, then eventually not doing anything at all. Think about one thing you want to accomplish this year and focus on that. My word this year is self awareness. I had many moments of self reflection and light bulb moments toward the end of the year that enlightened me on how I show up. I want to continue that to ensure my relationships, career, and life is fulfilled with the intentions I set out to achieve and possess. Enjoy each day, each moment, have no regrets, and be the best you, you can be each day. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

I HAD TO TAKE MY OWN ADVICE

I had to take my own advice and pause for a moment. These last couple of months has been a season of change. In order to be in the moment, understand my assignement and what I was supposed to get out of it, I had to give myself permission to focus. Not just focus, but prioritize and make sure my feet were planted.

green sticky note on white surface

As I’ve stated in some previous posts, late August I accepted a position that I’d been wanting and working hard for. With that came the transiton of working remotely full time, a 12 week fast track training, and longer hours. Not to mention this began at the very start of the school year.

Trying to juggle the new postion, transition my home and create an office space, and manage school activities I felt like a hamster on a wheel. Along with that, I was still freelancing and selling on Poshmark. Yes, I know, doing wayyyyyy too much.

Although I asked for each gift, position, and blessing I knew I couldn’t put a 100% into all of them. Plus keep my sanity, be a mom, wife, and maintain my home. So I took my own advice and paused for a moment. I needed to reset my mind and expectations. First on the whole idea of working from home full time. My lifestyle was going to change vastly.

I decided to spend Saturday morning 2-3 hours posting and creating new Poshmark listings. That way throughout the week I can manage and maintain my closet. I use my lunch and breaks to drop my sales off at the post office. Next, I accept freelance contracts that doesn’t take too much of my time. Which ironically I’ve enjoyed and been able to deliver great pieces of work.

But I will say that has been the one ironic thing about this entire situation. My self awareness, self care, and mental health has been great and heightened. I knew it was going to be a change and I had to work at it everyday while on this new path and journey.

Working from home allows me to get laundry done throughout the day and even get dinner done by the time the kids get home from school. Therefore, it frees my time up to be with the family when I get off. I still wake up early in the morning before everyone else and tidy if I hadn’t done so the night before. I’m able to have a moment to myself, get dressed, and mentally prepare for the day.

I’ve added 10 minutes of meditation before starting work. Increased my reading time during breaks and before I go to bed. Maintaining my cut off time of 9p.m. No matter what hasn’t been done or said checking out mentally and emotionally has helped me keep my joy and peace. I’ve noticed I have a great nights sleep when I sleep with the oil diffuser going.

Because I am remote, and we have to be on camera quite a bit, my skin care has also heightened. I take my time on my night time skin care routine to ensure I awake with bright, smooth, moisturized, and glowing skin. In the morning I keep my skincare routine to a minimum while focusing on my eyes and moisture. Working remotely also has me playing around with minimal makeup looks to make sure I am still professional and work ready. Lastly, I still get dressed as if I am going into the office. Outside of my comfy fuzzy socks.

Now my schedule is about to change again this week. I’ve learned to get comfortable with change and I really do enjoy my job and all the blessings I’ve been privileged to have. I am very thankful for the self awareness most of all. The ability to be honest with myself and say you need to prioritize, reset expectations I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS, and not over extend yourself has been the best self care I can ever do or have for myself.

It’s the end of the year and holiday season. Before you have a blow up, a breakdown, or get sick, take a break or step away. Ask yourself what is more important to you in this season or journey. What shall you let go of. What is worth putting time and effort into. Have I neglected my mental, physical, and emotional health. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY

Not everyone that comes into your life will be there for a lifetime. Some people are just meant to be in your life temporarily. In fact, most are just making a pit stop into your journey of life. And guess what, that is perfectly ok. There isn’t a reason to get upset, sad, or lose sleep over it. In actuality, even those that are there for a moment, will drop some valuable lessons and gems before leaving.

letter cutouts on beige background

I just had this conversation with my son who’s a junior in high school. He’s beginning to realize some he thought was his friends really aren’t. Those who he thought would be there for the long haul has moved on to another destination. I had to remind him of how valuable and precious he is. Along with the best piece of advice I received when I first went to high school. That was “Your friends you have your freshman year, will not be your same friends your senior year.” That advice the teacher gave me could not have been more true. That statement holds true into adult hood.

As life flows so does we. Experiences and circumstances have us growing in many directions. So the friends you have in your 20s probably will fall off by the time your 30s roll in. When you hit your 40s that lightbulb gets so bright and your circle get even smaller.

The twist is, it doesn’t mean that you have this big fight or falling out. You just out grow some people. As we develop, we walk down different paths that put distance between us. Sometimes we circle back. Other times, we wave from a distance. Either way you’re going to be ok. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

Those that were your friends in the beginning can’t always go with you. As you grow they may not be ready to grow. So sometimes you’ll have to leave them where they are until you guys catch up, if you do. But the worse thing to do is stop your progress because someone isn’t ready to grow with you.

Love yourself enough to be aware and know who is meant to be in your life temporarily. Let relationships be what they are, not what you think they should be or hope to be. Many times we hurt ourselves holding on to some relationships too long. It may hurt letting some relationships fizzle out. But trust yourself and the process. Trying to hold on to a relationship that’s dead will lead to resentment, stress, frustration and loss of happiness. The pain of dead weight is worse than working the pounds off.

Give your authentic self. Know what you want and need out of each relationship you have. Be vocal. Have healthy boundaries. Love and show compassion. Finally having 2 great relationships is better than having 10 one sided unhealthy relationships.

Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

“How does the believe I must be loved by everyone to be happy lead to unreasonable expectations and feelings of depression?”-Unknown

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

looking for a friend bear

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

8 WAYS TO FILL YOUR CUP UP

We’ve all heard the term “you can’t run on an empty cup”. There are several ways we can fill our cup to ensure the overall health of our wellness. Here are 8 ways I fill my cup for myself before pouring into others.

top view photo of coffee near tablet

“Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

-Binge watch a show you’ve recorded, been wanting to watch, or just heard so much about. I find when I make it point to sit down and watch TV, and the show is good, I get me in a good couch potato moment. Because the show is so good I can’t stop watching it. Thus I’ve had some much needed relaxing time for my body and brain not thinking about work, chores, kids activities, or anything else.

-Put the phone down. I’ve been filling my cup with this wellness tip very much lately. First I’m lazy. I don’t like holding the phone, talking on it too long, nor do I have the desire to text a whole dissertation. Because I’ve deleted my social media ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED it’s enabled me to become more creative in other areas. Challenge yourself to put the phone down. If you can’t, find something productive to read or watch a motivational video. It helps so much for your mental health.

-Have a private dance party session. So I get these in after I work out or clean up. I have my ear buds in and while I’m stretching or doing a cool down I make sure to dance and sing so loud as if I’m actually in a club. This allows my alter ego to let lose. Get funny and do things that you definitely will not have the confidence to do outside.

-Indulge in your favorite meal. Don’t deprive yourself because you need to watch your diet due to medical reasons or trying to remain physically fit. Every once in a while treat yourself to your favorite meal. You deserve it and earned it with all your hard work.

-Get some fresh air. Get outside. It doesn’t just have to be a walk. You can garden if that is your pass time of choice. Talk to a neighbor. Go walk the dog. Stand on the porch for a few minutes. Fresh air is one of the best ways to clear your mind and get an instant refresh.

-Have some me time. Take care of you. Pamper yourself. Clean your car. Change your home around. Get some new photos or decor up to recharge. Me time isn’t always about mani and pedi, facials, and going to the salon. Although that is important. But when I take my car to the car wash I have me time. Trying a new recipe and really working hard for it to come out great is me time as well. Do something that makes you feel free.

”Jobs fill your pocket, adventures fill your soul.”

-Have a good conversation with yourself. Talk to you about how you’re feeling. What has you upset or feeling anxious. How did you handle a situation you wish you could have done differently. Talk to yourself aloud and be honest with yourself. Only you know how you feel and what you really desire and think. THE ONLY PERSON YOU OWE IS…YOU

-Watch a motivational video or Ted Talk. I did not realize how much these videos open my eyes to a new perspective, idea, or communication. In addition to teaching me about myself and what my bad habits are. What I’ve done to hurt others or said. Even though we may have the best intentions, sometimes it doesn’t come out right or it isn’t the best timing. While cooking and cleaning I love to get in a good motivational video.

Those are 8 wellness tips I use to fill my cup before I pour into others. We can’t be of service to others and ourselves if we aren’t doing the work. Filling your own cup first, set an example. Sometimes we don’t have to say anything. Just by you practicing better habits and becoming a better you, will inspire someone else. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE OUT THERE Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”-J.R.R. Tolkien

clear glass with red sand grainer

We all get the same amount of time in a day. It is what we do with that 24hours that makes us different. What do you spend the most time doing? What do you spend the least time doing? Is there something you need more time for? The answer is write down your priorities, needs, and wants. Take a good look at what you put the most time in. That tells you what you value, rather good or bad. Do you spend a great amount of time scrolling on social media? Or on the other hand spending too much time at the office. If you are wishing there were more hours in a day, stop wishing. Reallocate your time to fit your priorities, hobbies, and desires. The time is given to us. We have complete control and free will to spend those 24hours how we see fit. TIME AND PATIENCE ARE TWO IMPORTANT FACTORS FOR GROWTH Make the best of it. Because time is one thing we can’t get back or make up for. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES

Have you ever looked back and realized there are some things that you naturally do without thinking? Those are your self care habits and activities that makes you feel good and get you through the day. I have some simple favorite self care activities that makes a huge difference in my daily routine.

Self Care Is For You

My Morning Routine
My morning routine helps me start my day in a positive mindset, makes me feel good, and provides confidence. The simple act of telling myself it’s going to be a great day instantly motivates me to get out of bed. My morning skin care routine is the most important self care activity I do. The act of washing my face, applying serum, and moisturizer gives me the confidence needed to put my best foot forward the rest of the day. I take my time doing my skincare routine and enjoy the act of taking care of my skin.

Weekly Hair Mask
I’ve always loved doing my own beauty routines and rituals. I enjoy trying different hair products and masks to maintain the health of my hair. I’m always going back and forth in wearing my hair naturally curly and straightening it. Deep conditioning regularly has helped me maintain the health of my hair. MY NATURAL HAIR LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP

Maintaining My Home
I love being a wife and mom. Creating an environment to give my family peace, love, and comfort is never ending for me. Keeping my house clean, smelling good with inviting with comfort scents, and visual peace is joy for me. Knowing when we’re on vacation and one of my kids says, I’m ready to go home, warms my heart. Having a home and a place to where myself and family can feel the most safe will always take priority. Also to whomever, comes over and needs that sense of peace.

clear glass pitcher filled with clear liquid and slices of lemon

Drinking Water
The older I get the more in tuned I am in taking care of my body. Drinking an excess amount of water daily is my goal from the time I wake up. It allows me to flush out my system, eliminates bloating in my stomach, and keeps my skin clear. I feel much better when I maintain a certain amount of daily water intake. Staying hydrated and drinking water is the easiest self care activity you can do for yourself.

Doing Nothing
Having a moment to self and doing nothing is probably one of my favorite activities. I try to take advantage of moments when I can. I intentionally have a moment in the morning before I go to work. Sometimes I’ll sit on the couch, with my coffee, and look out the window. No phone or television on to provide distraction or interruption. The ability to not think about anything and just daydream is great for my mental and emotional health.

Staying Off My Phone
It’s no secret I’m not a fan of social media. But intentionally staying off my phone has become an increasing self care activity for me. I don’t have the images and thoughts of others constantly in front of me. Staying off the phone allows me to avoid consciously or unconsciously comparing my life to others. Lastly, it forces me to do something else creative or productive. ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED

Walking/Exercise
Of course, walking had to make this list. I walk more for my mental clarity and peace than to lose weight or stay fit. After a walk I’m relieved mentally and emotionally. I no longer feel tension or the anxiety from the events of the day or week. If I don’t walk, my body feels weird like somethings missing. Getting in a good sweat and releasing toxins is good for your overall wellness. Walking is the easiest, free, and most beneficial exercise for everyone. 10 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

Night Routine
In the last couple of weeks I’ve noticed my night routine I do without thinking. While I’m washing off my makeup or just cleansing my skin I reflect on the day and release. I’m in a mental state of clearing my mind and feeling lighter. I always have to put on some type of facial mask which makes me feel like I’m pulling the entire day out of my skin. The shower or bath I take, washes the day away and get me prepared for the next. I’m calm, settled, and have a free mental state to head to bed. The goal is to not go to bed heavy.

Those are just some self care activities I noticed I do without thinking and in routine. So often you hear people ask how do I get into routine or habits. Well sometimes if we pause, look at our daily habits, we’ll notice self care is already being practiced.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.