5 PHRASES TO REMOVE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY

One day I sat back and realized certain comments or phrases I make can be damaging to my mental and emotional health. As I was reflecting one day on the impact of me making a commitment to not complain has truly been encouraging, it lead me to make a commitment to remove some language from my vocabulary . I only want to speak into existence positive goals, values, and affirmations. Also growth. Here are a few phrases I realized I say too often that I need to try to eliminate.

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  • “Is it something wrong with me?” When I feel differently or have a different point of view and I felt it wasn’t received how I intended I would immediately question myself. I had to learn my thoughts, point of view, and ideas are valid, unique to me, and my point of view can help others sometimes.
  • “I’m sorry to bother you.” Whenever I need to ask for help or a question, especially if I feel like I should know it, I would say this. I never wanted to be a burden. But I know that I’m not being a bother, I’m seeking information and clarity on something. It’s ok to ask for help or ask questions when needed. It’s best to ask all the questions you need rather than guess and go down a path of wrong turns.
  • “What I’m not going to do is…” I’ve learned saying this limits my growth. This also puts in the universe that I’m not willing to even think about the possibilities of doing something new, growing or learning. Instead I’ve learned to say that’s something I’ve never done but I can try.
  • “I’m tired.” Along with not complaining, saying I’m tired had such a negative connotation. Yes we all do get drained and just want to collapse. But I do understand at that point my mind and body has done all it could do for that day. Because sometimes I would begin to notice that I wasn’t physically tired but more emotionally or mentally tired from the events of the day.
  • “I know I shouldn’t do this but…” That phrase already sets up for a guilt trip after said event takes place. I’ve learned to make decisions that are good for me. As long as I want to do it, I’m not going to make excuses for wanting to do it.

Those are a couple of phrases that I’ve realized have some negative impact on my thoughts. As we all know our thoughts become our actions and how we feel. Part of healing and growing is realizing what we can do for ourselves to make each day as peaceful and positive as we can. At the end of the day we aren’t perfect but we can try to be as good to ourselves as the day allows. 6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

15 THINGS TO STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR

One of the biggest parts of healing and growing is realizing you have the right to make choices and to not feel guilty about them. Often times, we beat ourselves up for doing things or creating boundaries to protect us because it may not be the most comfortable decision. However, we shall not feel guilty for protecting our peace, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Through my process here are 15 things I had to stop feeling guilty for and give myself some grace.

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Stop Feeling Guilty For…

  1. Eating some ice cream or your favorite dessert.
  2. Not cleaning or doing laundry.
  3. Taking PTO.
  4. Sleeping IN.
  5. Not returning a text or call.
  6. Making a mistake.
  7. Needing help.
  8. Not knowing an answer to something.
  9. Feeling sad or not in a good mood.
  10. Saying no.
  11. Skipping a workout.
  12. Cutting someone off.
  13. Declining an invitation.
  14. Wanting to purchase you something just because.
  15. Needing some comfort or love.

Those are a few things that I had to stop feeling guilty for. I have to remind myself all the time, life is a journey. There will be twist and turns as I travel. With each step I will learn, grow, and become a better person. GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE… Even on the the bumpy parts of the road. That’s when you learn the most about yourself. It is so freeing to be able to make yourself feel good without worrying if someone is going to feel uncomfortable.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

5 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

As I grow and enjoy my journey I’m learning to celebrate the small things in life and appreciate the moments that some may look over. Lately, there are some things that I realize bring me more joy than a piece of cheesecake, my favorite dessert. It’s more important to take a look back each night, week, month or year and appreciate the finer things that brings you joy. Here are just a few things that make me feel whole, comfort, and at peace each day.

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  • Watching TV with my daughter nightly. It has become a ritual these last couple months for us to watch something of her choosing. Or sometimes she’ll get into a program I recorded and want to watch. But this is our way of chatting without it seeming like it’s a task or me trying to get information. We learn from each, get to know each other, and discuss things that probably won’t come up on a regular.
  • Dropping my kids off at school. I think I look forward to this because it’s my way of sending them off. I get to motivate and pour into them while in the car. I know this won’t last long as they get older and graduate. It’s sort of our quiet time to enjoy each other before starting our busy day and reconvening later in the day.
  • Monthly salon appointment. I look forward to this appointment because I get to talk to a bunch of women, divulge in beauty talk and products, and leave feeling like a brand new woman. It’s something I do for me that makes me feel good on the inside more than the outside. 9 DAILY FEMININE SELF CARE HABITS TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
  • New Inspirational Journals. These gems I purchased from the dollar store has really allowed me to purge my thoughts, feelings, and desires without filter. I get to be my true honest self and not worry about being perfect or writing perfectly. After writing I feel lighter and ready to tackle the day. Journaling has allowed me to clear my thoughts for new inspiration.
  • Daily pampering. Each morning I have to take care of feminine self. Starting with my skincare routine, perfume, and jewelry. Just dolling myself up a bit keeps my spirits up. When you don’t get dressed or doll yourself up sometimes it’s easy to get into a slump. You don’t need a special event to get dressed up or glam yourself.

Those are 5 little things that brings me joy. Focusing on what makes me feel good inside and out keeps my mind open for new positive thoughts. If you’re feeling a little blue, I encourage you to look back at your day and make a list of things that make you feel good. The smallest acts have the greatest impact.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

We see it all the time, “be good to yourself”, “be kind to yourself”. The interpretation is that it takes a lot of money, fancy material things, or a perfect life. When in actuality it’s the simple daily habits you do for you that is the most beneficial. Trust me, I was one of those that didn’t think the small things mattered. But as I do them everyday and multiple times a day, it is the best free form of therapy. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK

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Simple Habits To Be Good To You

  • Rest. Simple enough right. Living off 2 hours of sleep doesn’t do anyone good. I remember years ago when everyone was talking grinding and getting no sleep. That is nonsense. Your body and mind needs rest to recharge. Give yourself a cut off time for work. Make a day where you do nothing but binge something on the tube. Rest yourself. Everyone will benefit from it.
  • Take a day off. No longer do I feel guilty for taking a day or even a half a day. Sometimes you just need to unplug and log off. Have a moment without the kids home, or your spouse. Sit in silence and in peace. Use your PTO. Sometimes you just need a break from work. I know the weekend or the 2 days off you may get isn’t enough for me sometimes.
  • Eat yourself some colors. If you need some inspiration, Pinterest will give you all the recipes you need to expand your pallet and not get bored with the same dishes over and over again. If you can’t eliminate certain foods completely, just cut back. Simply cutting back on sugar, salt, and processed foods will make a huge difference in how your body feels.
  • Read, journal, pray, meditate. Whatever you need to center yourself, DO IT. There is so much power in focusing our minds on the positive filling up that mental health bank. Daily practices of mental and emotional self care will have your mental health bank so full that when you do need to withdraw from it, there won’t be a dent in it. Find something that works for you.
  • Don’t compare yourself. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone else’s journey may appear smoother and better doesn’t mean the aren’t walking a bumpy road. Live your journey and only yours. What’s meant for you will find it’s way to you when it’s the right time. Sometimes we can be given gifts at the wrong time in life, and we’ll lose it because we weren’t ready for it and didn’t know how to handle it.
  • Move your body. Along with eating colorful, moving your body will help eliminate many health problems. I know as I’ve grown I have to get up and stretch because my body just gets stiff. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. But just work muscles and move your body to get the blood flowing better.

Those are some daily good for you habits that can be done anytime. Being good to you, doesn’t require much. You deserve to feel good inside and out. Sometimes no matter what someone does for us, we just have to make our own self feel good. Be good to you. You deserve it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME

On a daily we worry about things that are out of our control. We also give time, conversation, and resources to people and things that don’t deserve our energy. Hence, we end up disappointed, sad, angry, and frustrated because we didn’t get a return on our investment. Part of self care is realizing and prioritizing certain things that are worth our time and energy. Once we accept and acknowledge our worth, we’ll be able to manage and dedicate ourselves to people and things that serves us good.

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6 Common Things That Waste Our Time

  • People pleasing. For some people, no matter what you do or give it just won’t be enough. It will seem as if the goal post just keeping moving. For those that are always requiring more of you, they are lacking in something you can’t fulfill. That is for them to figure out and make peace with. You do what you can within your power and limits. Also do what you want. Just because you have the time and resources doesn’t mean you have to exhaust them out.
  • Proving yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are. What you have, what you make, where you live, your job, or anything else. You are the only one like you that exist in this world. No matter how hard someone tries, they can’t be like you and furthermore, you can’t make yourself into something else. With where you are and what you have to offer, if it’s not good enough then they don’t deserve the air you breathe.
  • Holding on to anger. I was very good at holding on to a grudge and anger. Guess what? That did nothing for my mental and emotional wellbeing. The only thing I kept repeating was, “but you don’t understand what they did to me.” Letting anger go doesn’t mean the action didn’t occur. It simply says I’m not going to let that person or event continuously hurt me. Nor control or dictate how I proceed in life specifically in relationships. Letting that anger go is for you more than the other person. MOTIVATIONAL HEALING: LEARN YOUR SOURCE OF ANGER
  • Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. There is no way on earth anyone can be perfect. Trying to chase perfectionism robs you of your joy and enjoying the gifts you have now. Instead of living in the moment and appreciating where you are, it’s being overlooked. Also when chasing perfection we’re tying to present a version of ourselves that don’t exist. Be you. You are perfectly imperfect.
  • Self doubt, negative self talk, and overly critical. This does nothing for our emotional wellness. Sometimes we think being hard on ourselves is being humble or self motivating. Some of us are conditioned to not even pat ourselves on the back or celebrate our wins. It is very important to celebrate ourselves even the small wins on a daily. Believe it or not, we can put ourself down worst than anyone else. Talk good to you. Build yourself up.
  • Not forgiving. Yes, this is tough. But forgiveness is truly for you. You need to sleep at night. Move on with your life. Learn from the events and situation, so you can possibly see the signs and prevent it from happening again. Not forgiving, says so much about us more than the person that caused the trauma. They have to pay for what they did to you and you can’t say when or how it will happen.

Those are 6 things that I had to learn to let go in order to get to the daily life I envision for myself. With active daily practice and exercises, there will be a point you can live for you and not worry about what others think. However, when you get to that point, don’t stop. Keep doing the affirmations, journaling, prayer, meditation, and therapy that got you there. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you be free.

MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS: KEEPING MYSELF CENTERED

Over the last six months I’ve made a huge transition in my professional career and it has been a challenge finding balance with the schedule. I envisioned this position for a couple of years and now it’s almost as if I’m not really living in that vision sometimes. Trying to keep balance of being a mom, wife, the blog, and other ventures I had to really think, pause and center myself. Think about this new chapter, where I am going, and what I want to do.

sticky notes on glass wall

But first there are some mental health reminders I had to activate and actively practice to get me to my understanding, self awareness, and peace with myself. As we grow and transition in life our mental and emotional health also transitions. It is up to us to be aware and recognize there are some mental health habits that needs more practice, some needs to be substituted, and others we may have to adopt all together.

  1. There is power in honesty. The immense amount of power that you receive when you are honest with yourself can be overwhelming. I’ve come to know the more honest I am with how I am feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally helps me with the next step in recognizing the why. When you own your truth no one can abuse you or use your truth against you. I began to peel back the layers in why certain things were making me feel uncomfortable or why I may not have 100% locked in. Also being honest about what you want to do in life and not feel bad. My biggest hurdle was speaking aloud, even though I had this amazing position with great benefits, flexibility, and support, my heart was still yearning for the dream God placed in me. I’ve heard it a million times, once God places a vision or dream in you, no matter what you do or have, that dream or vision isn’t going to leave you. So now I am at a place to figure how to deliver on what was placed in me.
  2. My happiness has to come from me. No one person, no amount of money, material things, or event can give me happiness. I have to be happy with who I am at this current moment, in this body, in this skin, in this home, with all the blessings I’ve been given. My happiness has to come from me knowing it is ok to dream big, have dreams no one understands, and that they can happen if I do the work. There is no such thing as I’ll be happy when….Everything that you have right now is what you’ve asked for. Now, is it ok to always want to grow, be better, do better and have better, absolutely. I know I have the right to do what makes me happy and I don’t need permission from anyone to do so. I was speaking to a client earlier in the week and she was a mature woman in her 60s. She was retired but substitute teacher part time and show homes for Redfin part time. In the middle of the conversation she says I can work when I want. I’m a little vain, I like to get Botox. She is happy living her life and doing what makes her happy. You have to be fearless when it comes to your happiness.
  3. There is power in writing. Writing down your dreams. Vision for your life. Your fears. Your wants. Your desires. Whatever comes to mind, there is power in writing. I am an advocate for journaling. However, I now know the power in writing everyday. Sometimes I write 2x a day. An hour before work I sit down and write. No plan. Just pen to paper. The thoughts you can purge is gratifying. The prayers and conversation you can have speaking with God and writing your dreams down is powerful. I’ve heard many say writing is therapeutic, they are right. In the beginning I had no idea how to write, what to say, or where to begin. I purchased these amazing Inspirational Journals from the dollar store of all places and I haven’t been able to put the pen down. They are themed scripture based prompts for you to write. I read the verse at the top of the page and write down my interpretation in the spiritual sense, mental and emotional wellbeing, and in my lifestyle. For only $1, each day I can journal my way to peace and happiness. The themes are Truth, Joy, Courage, and Wisdom.

Those are three mental health reminders that I’ve over worked these last several months. My self awareness has afforded me great understanding and healing. Writing has been the best to get my honest thoughts out without judgement or embarrassment. Fearing no one will understand. And my understanding of knowing each day I am on a journey there is no destination to happiness. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s always evolving. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay

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The one thing I know is, what we tell ourselves hurts us more than anything someone else says or does. You wanna know why? We believe everything we tell ourselves. Furthermore, we are very good at talking ourselves out of something. We can think of a scenario and situation in our heads and it never happened. Have you ever played out a conversation or arguement in your head? We’ve all done that at one point, “the next time I see XYZ and they say this, I’m going to say this.” Oh!!!! How many times have you started your day complaining about everything you had to do at work, how you didn’t want to talk to certain people, or how that coworker gets on your last nerves. Then you get to work, and the sheer sight of your coworker turns your smile upside down. Why? Because we’ve already talked ourselves into not wanting to have a good day or interaction. No matter what the situation or circumstance is, what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how our day and life goes. Sadly, we are very good at talking ourselves into a negative mindset. Don’t you think we can be even better at talking ourselves into a positive mindset. The last two weeks, before I even turn on my computer I write for 1-2 minutes on a notebook of nothing but positive thoughts, affirmations, and prayers. It’s not uniformed or grammatically correct. My intentions are to ensure I’m in the right mindset, positive self talk, and motivation. If you are experiencing too many negative thoughts try turning those into some positives. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS

Example of My Morning Notes:

I am fearless
I am brave
I am strong
I am a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and worker
I am good at my job
God give me the strength to replace any negative thoughts with positive
God thank you for keeping me so many times, thank you for saving me, thank you for my family and our health
I am in control of my emotions
I give myself grace

That’s what came to mind yesterday morning. Sometimes it’s less and other times it’s more. But every day, moment, and direction of our life depends on how we view it, handle it, and overcome. Most importantly it’s what we say to ourselves quietly that hurts the most. So those things you are saying that no one hears, turn those into positives and tell yourself good things. Have a great day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE IS ALREADY IN YOU

How do I know what my passion and purpose in life is? I have no idea where to begin or find it. The good news is, you don’t have to find it, its already in you. You’ve probably had a glimpse of it more than once. But due to fear, lack of resources, finances, and fear of “looking crazy” to family and friends you probably ignored it for many years just like I did. I too would always ask “What is my purpose?” “What am I passionate about?”

The truth is that, I already knew. But because no one else had my vision, or it seemed far out, I didn’t act upon it, or pursued it. Finally, one day I watched Steve Harvey Motivational Video about finding your gift and knowing what it is. He said “your gift is the thing you do the absolute best, with the least amount of effort.”

So I’m telling you, your gift is the one thing you do without thinking, breathing, or blinking. You do it so well that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. When you are in your gift, you are at peace, smiling, eager to continue, you don’t want it to end, and when it does all you can think about is doing it again. JOURNAL WRITING: 10 QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF Acknowledging or figuring out your gift will help you understand your passion and purpose.

Yesterday I had to admit some hard truths after speaking with a client. She simply called in for some insurance. Upon having a conversation and trying to get information she revealed she wasn’t in the best place mentally due to the death of her father. Without warning I sprung into action, speaking life into her. I totally left the quote in place until we were finish.

For an hour and half, without thinking or remembering I was at work, I poured into her until I can hear a sigh of relief in her voice. Immediately, I encouraged her to not apologize for being emotional. I let her know it was ok to grieve and to do so on her own terms. As I began to pour into her, she began to open up and tell me how she had been trying to deal with the realization of her loved one passing. At one point, she even said “I can’t believe I’m opening up to you like this but I needed this conversation.”

SideNote: Sometimes talking to strangers about your honest and raw emotions is easier than talking to family and friends. You can be as authentic as you need to be to express yourself and feelings. When we sometimes talk to family and friends we tend to hold back because we don’t want the judgement.

That’s when I knew. The more we continued to bond and talk, the more I wanted to encourage, motivate, and support. The more she felt better. Her voice no longer trembled. Her tears began to clear. And she said she feels like she can find a way to live with her father no longer being here in the physical.

After hanging up, I was ready to do it again. Before I knew, I said, “That is what I want to do.” I literally began thinking of ways I can talk to people and encourage them in whatever they were going through. I was jotting down notes and things. The rest of the day my mind was brainstorming and thinking of ways I could do it again and again. Even now I’m still thinking about it.

Yes I have a great cooperate job with an amazing company, benefits, flexibility, and support. But still with that, my heart is wanting to help heal, encourage, and motivate. That’s how I know what my purpose and passion is.

Think of that one time or more than one, when you were completely sound mind, body, and spirit. And you couldn’t wait to do it again. That’s your gift, purpose, and passion.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

23 NEW YEAR JOURNAL WRITING PROMPTS

The new year always bring some seasonal anxiety and depression. The pressure to have this grand resolution or fresh start can be overwhelming. First you don’t have to have those grand resolutions. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY: NEW YEAR EDITION However, it is normal to feel like you want to have an outline of intentions, thoughts, views, or feelings about the upcoming year. Growth is good. Change is good. And we should want to be better, think better, do better, have better, and live better. To relieve some of that pressure, do some journal writing to get your mind flowing with ideas.

woman writing a note in a journal

New Year Writing Prompts

  1. What do I need more of that I didn’t get last year or not enough of?
  2. Write 23 affirmations about you, your relationships, career, health, and financial self.
  3. What would I like to accomplish this year. (Vacation, family, Savings, Love, Healing, Growth)
  4. What can I do to get out of my comfort zone?
  5. What is my end of the year vision or where do I want to be at the end of this year?
  6. What are some healthy habits I’d like to pick up?
  7. What are some habits I’d like to drop that isn’t good for me?
  8. When was the last time I went to the doctor, dentist, or had a checkup?
  9. Is this my year to make an appointment with a therapist?
  10. What can I do to ensure I’m financially stable this year?
  11. Are there any loved one I miss or would like to talk to?
  12. Are there any relationships I need space between?
  13. What are some self care habits I can do to build my mental and emotional health?
  14. How am I feeling right now?
  15. My greatest accomplishment last year was?
  16. The one thing I would like to learn from that happened last year is?
  17. I would like to start, stop, and continue….
  18. What are 3 things I need to prioritize?
  19. What areas do I need to give myself some grace in?
  20. What are things I need to let go of that are holding me back?
  21. What are my intentions for myself?
  22. How do I want to be loved or supported this year?
  23. What can I do to be more loving and supportive this year?

Those are 23 journal writing prompts to help ease some of your anxiety. Be as detailed as possible. Take your time. As you write you’ll learn more about yourself, your desires, and goals. The more we write the more we expand and open our minds to endless possibilities. Happy Writing!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY: NEW YEAR EDITION

“Just a reminder that you don’t have to make resolutions. Or huge decisions. Or big proclamations. You can just set some sweet intentions and take each day as it comes.” Victoria Erickson

letter tiles beside mandarins

Please don’t feel the pressure to make some grand resolutions or major life changes. Typically any kind of lifestyle change or habit has to be developed. You don’t just wake up one day and say I’m going to start this and sustain that resolution long term. Hence, why most new year resolutions don’t make it past the end of January. To begin anything, you have to make a commitment mentally first. Instead create small goals, tasks, and intentions that you can stick to for a while and then add as you go. 10 NEW YEAR SELF CARE HABITS FOR A FRESH START The small daily self care habits and intentions are what builds up to a major lifestyle change. The last couple weeks of December I made a commitment to speak at least 3-5 affirmations aloud to myself in the mirror every morning. Sometimes I will do it in the middle of the day and before I go to bed. This gives me the mental mindset to remain positive, calm, and take action throughout the day to reach my goals. Setting small intentions for the day or week is easier attainable than long term goals. Instead of saying I’m going to lose 20lbs this month, commit to “I will work out 20 minutes 3x a week.” You’ll find that is easier to follow through with. Sometimes we can bite off more than we can chew. Which leads to discouragement, then eventually not doing anything at all. Think about one thing you want to accomplish this year and focus on that. My word this year is self awareness. I had many moments of self reflection and light bulb moments toward the end of the year that enlightened me on how I show up. I want to continue that to ensure my relationships, career, and life is fulfilled with the intentions I set out to achieve and possess. Enjoy each day, each moment, have no regrets, and be the best you, you can be each day. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.