We’ve heard a million people say set boundaries. But setting boundaries isn’t the hard part. The hard thing about boundaries is keeping them and implementing said consequences if someone crosses a boundary.
I think we’ve all said we’re done with someone or a situation and even knew how we were going to handle it in the future. But when that next time came, we got cold feet. We second guess ourselves. The thought of cutting someone off, give us anxiety. We begin to worry about hurting their feelings. Especially if its a close friend or family member. We begin to question if we’re the one’s being too sensitive or overreacting. Having the guts or courage to let someone know they have hurt your feelings brings you embarrassment. You just don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feather. Or cause a scene. Be the person that ruins the dinner, holiday, or trip.
But guess what, that second guessing is what go us to this point. We know how we feel, we know what we need and want, but refuse to say it out of fear. What if you attempt to implement the consequences and it’s not received? The sad part is we are willing to continue to sacrifice our feelings to spare someone else’s. That’s not ok. Putting your feelings and boundaries first is a for sure way to demand respect in a respectful manner. It’s ok to tell others ”you’ve gone too far.”
The first thing to do when setting boundaries is to let them know if you do this, it makes me feel like this, and therefore I would have to do this to protect myself. Protect Your Peace And Energy Make it clear what the boundary is not to cross. Then be specific of what said consequence is for that boundary being crossed. That way when you do have to take action, it doesn’t come as a surprise.
Next, start with realistic consequences that you feel comfortable implementing and sticking to. As time goes on you’ll develop the confidence to be stronger. We often make the mistake of starting off big because we’re so angry but it sets us up to fall hard. Remember it’s just as equally emotional for you to even create said boundaries with certain people.
In your journey of healing and life, boundaries are necessary. Creating them is easy. But the hard thing about boundaries is implementing the consequence. Start at a place where you are confident to handle and make no apologies for. When setting and implementing boundaries we can’t get cold feet, a shaky voice, or apologize before doing it.
Be well on your journey.
Be you so you can be free.