WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY “YOU NEVER KNOW”

It’s almost become a cliche when you hear “ you never know what people are going through “. We hear it so often, but how often do we think about it, exercise it, and give others grace. Although it’s probably an over used point, it still rings true. People only tell us what they want us to know. We only see what people want us to see especially on social media. Just think about your favorite celebrity, athlete, or influencer that have such a great presence but suffers from depression.

white printer paper with be kind text on plants

You never know what people are going through so be kind. That rung true and reminded me on my morning commute to work.

As I’m driving, I had to do a double take in my rear view mirror. A woman who also appears to be driving to work. She had on a nice ivory blouse. Beautiful jewelry and her long thick hair was bouncy with big curls. Yes, I saw all of this because I have great attention to detail and it was a beautiful sunny morning. Anyway, on my double take, I notice she’s wiping her eyes. Hmmmm. This wasn’t a typical I have allergies wipe or anything.

So I doubled back. This woman was sobbing. When I say sobbing, she’s doing the ugly cry. The light turns red. And I’m siting there contemplating getting her attention for her to pull over. Number one, we don’t want an accident. And number two, baby you need to let that cry out. But she took advantage of this red light because she sobbed, wiped her face, and fixed her banes. That’s my girl!!! So I opted not to get her attention. My heart just ached for her. Light turns green, she wipes her eyes, and hit a left turn while I keep straight.

I get to work and immediately thought you really never know what people are going through. My mind began thinking about her mental and emotional wellness throughout the day. She’s full of emotions, they’re all over the place and when she hits work, immediately shut them off. Hence her constantly fixing her banes and making sure she didn’t mess up all her makeup. Then pretending like everything is ok, try to be productive, and professional.

You know you’ll always have the coworker’s to ask are you ok. If you say yes, they may pressure because they can clearly see your face is flushed, swollen, and your demeanor isn’t the norm they are used to. On the other hand, you may have a coworker that think you’re having an attitude, not being polite, or great to work around that day. When all you’re trying to do is make it through the day without crying and do your job.

Then, when she gets off, whatever had her sobbing emerges to the front again and now she’s an emotional wreck all over again. Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster and the ride she’s taking? So when people say you never know what others are going through, BE KIND. Here’s a reminder. Even if she wasn’t going to work. The fact is we all have emotional roller coaster rides, act like nothing is going on, and then getting back on the ride.

Remember some handle the ride well and others take a while to calm down. You never know. Be well!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

RESOLVE EVERYTHING FROM LAST WEEK

Before the beginning of the new week or work week for some, it’s important to resolve everything that happened last week. From work, to family, health, plans, and what you didn’t get done. Write it down, talk about it, adjust, and learn from last week. One of the biggest mistakes we make is dragging Friday into Monday morning. That’s how we get stuck and trapped into a dark cycle. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED

white and black weekly planner on gray surface

First starting with work. Whatever happened, leave it there. Try not to bring work home. Once you leave don’t revisit until you go back the next day. Even if you work from home. You can’t change what happened or go back and get a redo. Figure out how you can manage yourself and your expectations going forward to give you the opportunity to succeed. Not just succeed in the functions, but mentally and emotionally as well. Create 2-3 goals for yourself professionally this week. Find a plan to eliminate some stressors, if you have them, to have a better days work.

If you didn’t get to take care of yourself like you wanted this week, again, create a plan to carve time for you to exercise. Sit down on Sunday and create a meal plan for the week. Look at your schedule and see when you have some free time to carve out. Make a commitment to focus on yourself for one hour each day.

Sometimes we need to connect and have a good conversation. If there is a family member or friend that you’ve been meaning to reach out to, schedule that in. Often we feel so much better when we talk out what’s been going on with us and just to release our thoughts and feelings. Purging and hearing someone else’s point of view may help us navigate our daily life.

We’ve heard the cliche, “make sure you close one door before opening another.” Close out this week to prepare for a clean slate. Don’t carry baggage over for it to just pile and stink up the week before you can create any new trash. Do what you have to do to be in safe space emotionally.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

7 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS FOR EMOTIONAL DAYS

You ever have that feeling when you wake up something is just off? You know, you do everything as you normally would. Nothing in particular happened to you or no one said anything, you just feel blue. 12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH Before, you know it, you’re an emotional mess. Well, those days are normal. We all are going to have those days, more than once. It’s called life. For many reasons such as, lack of sleep, lack of healthy eating, being overworked, packed schedule, not feeling appreciated, lack of exercise, lack of time for self care, and many other factors can cause this “sudden” feeling of emotions. The good news is, once this day is over, that’s it, it’s over. You start fresh tomorrow. The important thing is to live in the moment, have the breakdown, don’t run from it, and release. Here are a few reminders for those overwhelming emotional days.

Have the breakdown. Cry like a baby. Release the hurt, anger, pain, and frustration. Don’t deny yourself the ability to release. The power is in the release. Feel every emotion and allow them to process.
Talk it aloud, to yourself. While having the breakdown ask yourself why am I feeling like this, what has me crying and hurting, how did I get here, what have I been feeling and ignoring, why have I been acting like nothing is bothering me. Make sure to answer the questions honestly. That’s where you’ll get the courage, wisdom, and knowledge to grow.
Wash it away. Have a good hot shower and release it down the drain once you feel you’ve let it all out. This prepares you for the fresh start and good nights sleep.
Sleep and eat. Although you may not feel like it, prepare yourself a good nutritious meal. Get your belly full and enjoy your favorite meal. The act of preparing you something to eat will redirect your mind to something positive and get your creative thoughts flowing. Don’t forget after that shower, sleep. A good nights sleep recharges the body, mind, and spirit.
Make a plan. After the breakdown, you’ve released, and washed it away, by now you have some understanding of where you need to clear things up, get better at, or work on something new. Make a plan on how you’re going to reset and recharge. This gives an instant boost of confidence and self esteem.
Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself you got this. You are a conqueror. Motivate and affirm yourself before going to bed. Remind yourself how confident, smart, loving, and healthy you are.
Forget about it. Tomorrow is a new day. You did what you had to do today to break through. Now it’s time to move on, grow, and learn. This emotional day has prepared you on how to better yourself days going forward. Go laugh and enjoy yourself.

Those are just a couple of reminders to help you through the emotional day and after. The most important is to acknowledge it and don’t run. When we run, we lose ourselves even more. We get further away from who we want to be, how we want to live, and where we want to go. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

Life itself is a privilege, but to live life to the fullest-well, that is a choice.”- Andy Andrews

We all literally have the power to make our life what we want. Who is stopping us. Fear, money, approval from others, embarrassment to make certain choices, and life circumstances are all reasons we don’t fully live the life we want. Then on the other hand I see those that pick up and move to another state because they want to start over or that was always a dream of theirs. Then there is those that quit their secure paying job with benefits to start their business or fulfill their dream. I’ve spoken to clients who says they are buying an RV and just going to travel around and wherever they end up that’s where they’ll be until they are ready to go. I admire those. Because so often we’re told to have our ducks in a row. We can do everything right. Save and have an emergency fund. Plan the right time to buy that home, have a kid, switch careers, and go on vacation. But what I know to be true is, life never stops. There are going to be some things that throws a wrench in our plans. You have every right to live your ONE life how you see fit. There aren’t any do overs here. You can make the choices you want to live the life you want. You only get one life. We can’t even do over a day, hour, or minute. Don’t let fear and other factors stop you from taking that leap of faith. FEAR IS A WASTE OF TIME You can start over as many times as you can. It’s better to try to see how that dream plays out than to always think about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. Enjoy the rest of your day.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time. -John Maxwell

The one thing that I’ve come to know and understand is consistency. You hear it often when reading self help books, listening to podcast, and every motivational speaker has spoken about being consistent. Well I get it now. And it’s not so much of being consistent in just practicing mental health. But in every day life and in every aspect of life. Something as simple as, being consistent on flossing your teeth every day leads to better oral health. Thus preventing diseases and long term effects on your teeth and gums. We hear it all the time in skin care. Having a consistent regimen is key to healthy, glowing, youthful looking skin. Maintaining good eating habits and exercising regularly are always constant with being consistent. When at work, you have to be consistent to perform and produce. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES No matter what component of life it is, remaining consistent in the small habits builds character, stamina, results, health, and wealth. Yes, we all will stumble. But when you get back on both feet and are stable, remain consistent. Just because we stumble or see something is working for someone else, doesn’t mean we should try it or not continue to do what has worked for us. You know what works for you and what you’re good at. Stay consistent in your daily routine lifestyle habits. The fruits of your labor will pay off. Have a great day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS

As I’ve embarked on my new journey there are some mental health reminders that I keep in the front of my mind. As we grow and go through different seasons of life, there are some gems that is picked up along the way. One of the best pieces of advice that I received years ago and definitely understand now, is you can learn from anyone and any situation. So often we used to think we can only learn from those that are of the church, our parents, teachers, doctors, politicians, and bosses. However, good or bad, right or wrong, or indifferent you can learn from it.

Here are a couple of mental health reminders:

-Stop carrying bags that aren’t yours to carry. You have enough to worry about. Don’t own other peoples opinions, problems, or circumstances.

-Try to put yourself in others shoes. Don’t be too quick to come to a conclusion. We never know what causes that person to think or act how they do.

-Understand your feelings are valid as well as your experiences. On the other hand, just as yours is valid so is the next persons. No one can tell us what we think or feel is wrong. Nor can we deny another person feelings or thoughts.

-Don’t put yourself in an emotionally uncomfortable position. Going somewhere feeling like you’re going to be walking on eggs shells isn’t the best for your mental and emotional health. So often we say it’s only for dinner or for two hours. However, being emotionally uncomfortable can take a week or more to overcome.

-Take a moment or break. We aren’t robots. Eat the cake, drink the wine, go on vacation, buy the shoes, get dressed up, and sleep in.

-Leave what happened that day, on that day. Don’t carry what happened on Monday into Tuesday. It’s a new day for you to start over, be different, try something different, and start fresh.

-Just because someone looks ok, doesn’t mean they are ok. Just because they say they’re ok, doesn’t mean they are. If you’re not doing well, then say so. You don’t have to go into detail. Acknowledging we’re not doing well is the first step to getting better. 12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH

-Be kind to yourself. The more kind you are to yourself the more kind you are to others. Even if you know someone who acts like they don’t need a hug, they do.

-If a situation or someone doesn’t feel right then don’t do it. Don’t ignore it. Energy is real. Don’t wish for something else. Accept what is presented to you and act accordingly.

-Find little things that make you happy or help you mentally and emotionally. It’s the little things that add up and make a huge difference.

Those are a couple of mental health reminders to get you through the end of the year, the holidays, and starting the new year. Focus on you, your peace, and happiness. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

JOURNAL WRITING: BRAIN DUMP FOR MENTAL CLARITY

Sometimes there could be so much going on that you don’t know where to begin. Trying to keep up with work, family, activities, and yourself gets overwhelming. A good journal exercise to do is a brain dump. Just dump all your emotions, feelings, and questions into the exercise to free your mind up.

box with brain inscription on head of anonymous woman

Doing a brain dump in your journal every so often helps reduce stress and tensions. After dumping you’ll feel lighter mentally and emotionally. Thus, you’ll be able to get organized and accomplish some tasks. Big or small. Lastly, overall it provides perspective. Brain dumping lets you know what’s working, what isn’t, where you need help, and in what areas you may need to put a little extra time into. 10 FUN JOURNAL PROMPTS TO GET YOUR MIND OFF YOUR PROBLEMS

Brain Dump Journal Prompts

What are my plans for Halloween?
Have I started Christmas shopping?
Have I created a Christmas list? Do I have a wish list?
What are my plans for the holidays?
What project have I started at home that I need to finish?
Is my car clean?
What meal have I been craving?
What person have I not talk to that I need to, or has been on my mind?
What do I need right now to make me happy?
What is something new I want to try, buy, or do?
Where do I want to go on vacation?
How am I feeling about my job, work, or career?
Is there something that took place that I was’t able to process?
Emotions I’m currently feeling.
When was the last time I balanced my checkbook, bank statements, and reviewed my finances and budget?
What is the current status of my relationships: family, friends, work, or partner?
When was the last time I went to the movies or out to dinner?

Those are just a couple of brain dump prompts to help you clear some head space. When journaling don’t just say yes or no. Or give an answer. Go into detail as to why you want a certain meal. How come you want to go to a certain restaurant or see a movie. I know it may sound crazy, but diving into the why is the true part of healing, growing, and learning about you.

Happy Writing!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

What is emotional wellness? Emotional wellness is the ability to navigate, overcome, and conquer the hurdles that life puts in our pathway. How well do you handle rejection? Do you adapt to change well? When the going gets tough, do you respond or react emotionally. Here are some tips to help you maintain emotional wellness and balance.

The one thing that stays in the front of my mind, is to always be in control of your emotions. Our emotions can cause us to make a decision that will lead to a snowball of other hurdles. Remaining calm, staying true to who you are, and knowing who you are is a major key.

Tips For Emotional Balance

-Allow yourself the grace and give yourself permission to say I’m going through something right now. A change is happening or there is a speed bump ahead and I’m scared. You may not even know how or when you’re going to get over that bump, but the sheer acknowledgement gives a clear pathway.

-Don’t make any quick or rational decisions. If you can or have the opportunity to, take a moment, hour, or day before responding. Giving yourself some time to step away and clear the lens will allow for a better understanding and thought process.

-Do something for you. Find an activity or hobby to get your mind off of what is going on. Have a refocus and a distraction. Exercise is always a good distraction because you’re also releasing tension. Whatever makes you happy or laugh do it.

-Find a positive. There is something in every situation that is a positive. Find the lesson. What are you supposed to take away? That is going to be the greatest gift of all. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES

-Have a good night routine to wash the day away. Cleanse your mind, body, and spirit. The most harmful we can do is to take the days events into the next.

-Finally change is good. Change is needed. Without change we would not grow. Embrace change. Going through change is a sign that bigger and better is on your way. Open your mind to new possibilities. The more we fight change the harder it will seem.

Those are just a couple of tips to help maintain an emotional stable balance daily. Take it one day at time. If you can’t do everything you’d like to do in a day, then don’t. Whatever your emotional tank allows you to do then do it and leave the rest for a better day. We only get so much emotional energy in a day. Use it wisely.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH

There are many things that we hold on to, carry, and simmer in that is bad for our mental and emotional health. Getting rid of all the negative thoughts, opinions, and views that we place on ourselves or accepted from others will definitely get us on the right track.

12 Things To Let Go

–Fear. Most of the the time it’s fear of what others think. Or the fear of the unknown. Either way let it go. Others point of view and opinions doesn’t define you. In the same breath, fearing the unknown isn’t going to help your growth.

–Anger. Holding on to anger causes wrinkles, heart attacks, stress, frown lines, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, weight gain on the other hand, and other fatigue that causes your entire wellness to deteriorate. While you’re holding on to that anger that situation is long gone, that person has slept peacefully, and you’ve lost time. Let it go for your mental sake.

–Resentment. Resenting someone or something requires you to hold and relive the past. How is that helping you? It’s not. Forgive. Understand the why. Learn the lesson. Create space. Move on. Let it go. Resentment isn’t hurting the other person it’s hurting you. Don’t continue to hurt yourself trying to hurt someone else.

–Guilt. Is a total waste of time. It isn’t going to change the past. Getting rid of guilt allows you to free yourself. A great reminder about feeling guilty is “you aren’t responsible for others happiness.” Let them carry their own weight. You can encourage them but not carry it for them.

–Overthinking. Letting go of overthinking will free you to actually be productive. As long as you are thinking about all the “what ifs”, you’re not doing. Stop thinking about it, and do. If you’re worried about a situation let it play out how it suppose to. Most of the time what we want or think is best isn’t the best.

–Low Self Esteem. If you aren’t feeling the most confident, then fake it until you make it. The more you act confident the more confident you’ll become. Confidence is a muscle that has to be exercised daily and consistently. MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH: 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

–Toxic Relationships. This is a no brainer. You know who you need to get rid of. No one has to remind you or tell you who’s not good for you. If you hesitate to answer a certain person call, then it’s time to put distance in that relationship. Who ever makes your mood change when they come around requires distance. It’s perfectly ok to love from a distance.

–Feeling of not being enough. You are perfectly you because God created you how He wanted. If God says you’re enough then no one on this earth can change that. Know it. Believe it. Feel it.

–Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. Perfection doesn’t exist. You’re just going to be a hamster on wheel chasing something imaginary. Let go of the wanting or liking to be or appear perfect. Everyone on this earth has flaws and kinks about them.

–Control. Trying to control everything and everyone is driving you crazy. You are losing sleep. Your focus and concentration is off. Wanting to have control is a sign of some internal healing that needs to take place. Ask yourself why do I feel the need to have control. That will lead you to the path of clarity.

–Doubt. Just do it. Doubting yourself is wasting time. It isn’t going to effect the outcome one way or another. The only thing doubt does, is kill your confidence and self esteem. Get rid of the doubt and go for your dreams. You can plan everything down to the minute, but something always throws a wrench in our plans. Do your best and forget the rest.

–The past. That’s long gone and ain’t coming back. (Yes I said ain’t.) The past isn’t going to change, won’t change, and doesn’t care about the now. Living in the past is stopping you from experiencing your life presently. Don’t rob yourself of happiness by reliving the past.

Those are 12 things you need to toss away to better your mental health. Yes, we’ve experienced some bad relationships and circumstances but most of our mental health issues comes from self inflicted pain. Don’t do others dirty work and constantly hurt yourself. Clean up those insecurities, bad habits, and negative ways of thinking to boost your mental and emotional wellness.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.