One day I sat back and realized certain comments or phrases I make can be damaging to my mental and emotional health. As I was reflecting one day on the impact of me making a commitment to not complain has truly been encouraging, it lead me to make a commitment to remove some language from my vocabulary . I only want to speak into existence positive goals, values, and affirmations. Also growth. Here are a few phrases I realized I say too often that I need to try to eliminate.
“Is it something wrong with me?” When I feel differently or have a different point of view and I felt it wasn’t received how I intended I would immediately question myself. I had to learn my thoughts, point of view, and ideas are valid, unique to me, and my point of view can help others sometimes.
“I’m sorry to bother you.” Whenever I need to ask for help or a question, especially if I feel like I should know it, I would say this. I never wanted to be a burden. But I know that I’m not being a bother, I’m seeking information and clarity on something. It’s ok to ask for help or ask questions when needed. It’s best to ask all the questions you need rather than guess and go down a path of wrong turns.
“What I’m not going to do is…” I’ve learned saying this limits my growth. This also puts in the universe that I’m not willing to even think about the possibilities of doing something new, growing or learning. Instead I’ve learned to say that’s something I’ve never done but I can try.
“I’m tired.” Along with not complaining, saying I’m tired had such a negative connotation. Yes we all do get drained and just want to collapse. But I do understand at that point my mind and body has done all it could do for that day. Because sometimes I would begin to notice that I wasn’t physically tired but more emotionally or mentally tired from the events of the day.
“I know I shouldn’t do this but…” That phrase already sets up for a guilt trip after said event takes place. I’ve learned to make decisions that are good for me. As long as I want to do it, I’m not going to make excuses for wanting to do it.
Those are a couple of phrases that I’ve realized have some negative impact on my thoughts. As we all know our thoughts become our actions and how we feel. Part of healing and growing is realizing what we can do for ourselves to make each day as peaceful and positive as we can. At the end of the day we aren’t perfect but we can try to be as good to ourselves as the day allows. 6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU
One of the biggest parts of healing and growing is realizing you have the right to make choices and to not feel guilty about them. Often times, we beat ourselves up for doing things or creating boundaries to protect us because it may not be the most comfortable decision. However, we shall not feel guilty for protecting our peace, mental, and emotionalwellbeing. Through my process here are 15 things I had to stop feeling guilty for and give myself some grace.
Those are a few things that I had to stop feeling guilty for. I have to remind myself all the time, life is a journey. There will be twist and turns as I travel. With each step I will learn, grow, and become a better person. GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE… Even on the the bumpy parts of the road. That’s when you learn the most about yourself. It is so freeing to be able to make yourself feel good without worrying if someone is going to feel uncomfortable.
I’ve heard a million times, one of the best and easiest ways to pick yourself up is to make a list of things you’re grateful for. We are blessed everyday just to wake up. Even if you’re in good spirits and life has you feeling good, it still is a good idea to list a couple things each day that you’re grateful for. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER A dailygratitudejournal may be the best if you don’t know where to start. But I thought I’d just make a list of things I’ve been especially grateful for.
Those are 20 that I’ve been very grateful for lately. As I continue to grow I notice it’s the small things that makes me happy and keeps me going. Each day you do this some will remain constant and other things will appear on your list. Either way no matter how you’re feeling at some point in the day make a list of a minimum of 3 things you’re grateful for. As you continue to do it you’ll begin to notice you can’t stop thinking of things you’re grateful for. Happy Sunday Funday!!!!
As I grow and enjoy my journey I’m learning to celebrate the small things in life and appreciate the moments that some may look over. Lately, there are some things that I realize bring me more joy than a piece of cheesecake, my favorite dessert. It’s more important to take a look back each night, week, month or year and appreciate the finer things that brings you joy. Here are just a few things that make me feel whole, comfort, and at peace each day.
Watching TV with my daughter nightly. It has become a ritual these last couple months for us to watch something of her choosing. Or sometimes she’ll get into a program I recorded and want to watch. But this is our way of chatting without it seeming like it’s a task or me trying to get information. We learn from each, get to know each other, and discuss things that probably won’t come up on a regular.
Dropping my kids off at school. I think I look forward to this because it’s my way of sending them off. I get to motivate and pour into them while in the car. I know this won’t last long as they get older and graduate. It’s sort of our quiet time to enjoy each other before starting our busy day and reconvening later in the day.
New Inspirational Journals. These gems I purchased from the dollar store has really allowed me to purge my thoughts, feelings, and desires without filter. I get to be my true honest self and not worry about being perfect or writing perfectly. After writing I feel lighter and ready to tackle the day. Journaling has allowed me to clear my thoughts for new inspiration.
Daily pampering. Each morning I have to take care of feminine self. Starting with my skincareroutine, perfume, and jewelry. Just dolling myself up a bit keeps my spirits up. When you don’t get dressed or doll yourself up sometimes it’s easy to get into a slump. You don’t need a special event to get dressed up or glam yourself.
Those are 5 little things that brings me joy. Focusing on what makes me feel good inside and out keeps my mind open for new positive thoughts. If you’re feeling a little blue, I encourage you to look back at your day and make a list of things that make you feel good. The smallest acts have the greatest impact.
Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.” -Kyle Freedman
When we receive criticism or feedback from someone we don’t even know, it effects us more than receiving it from close family and friends. Or taking to heart criticism from someone who hasn’t walked in our shoes, experienced what we’ve experienced, or basically on the same level as us. Just think about how so many people are affected by comments they receive on social media. Before you know it, they slowly change certain things about themselves due to comments. Others people opinion or criticism does not and cannot devalue you. Nothing they say or do holds any kind of weight in your life. What they say, think, or feel doesn’t matter. 6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME Caring what others think or say means we value them, their wisdom, and expertise. You trust that they’ve experienced something similar, received your desired results, and they have first hand knowledge. Furthermore, those that know our story won’t give criticism in a manner that hurts our feelings or makes us feel less than. So the next time you receive unwanted criticism just remember you didn’t ask them for it and let it roll in one ear and out the other. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!
We see it all the time, “be good to yourself”, “be kind to yourself”. The interpretation is that it takes a lot of money, fancy material things, or a perfect life. When in actuality it’s the simple dailyhabits you do for you that is the most beneficial. Trust me, I was one of those that didn’t think the small things mattered. But as I do them everyday and multiple times a day, it is the best free form of therapy. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK
Rest. Simple enough right. Living off 2 hours of sleep doesn’t do anyone good. I remember years ago when everyone was talking grinding and getting no sleep. That is nonsense. Your body and mind needs rest to recharge. Give yourself a cut off time for work. Make a day where you do nothing but binge something on the tube. Rest yourself. Everyone will benefit from it.
Take a day off. No longer do I feel guilty for taking a day or even a half a day. Sometimes you just need to unplug and log off. Have a moment without the kids home, or your spouse. Sit in silence and in peace. Use your PTO. Sometimes you just need a break from work. I know the weekend or the 2 days off you may get isn’t enough for me sometimes.
Eat yourself some colors. If you need some inspiration, Pinterest will give you all the recipes you need to expand your pallet and not get bored with the same dishes over and over again. If you can’t eliminate certain foods completely, just cut back. Simply cutting back on sugar, salt, and processed foods will make a huge difference in how your body feels.
Read, journal, pray, meditate. Whatever you need to center yourself, DO IT. There is so much power in focusing our minds on the positive filling up that mental health bank. Daily practices of mental and emotionalself care will have your mental health bank so full that when you do need to withdraw from it, there won’t be a dent in it. Find something that works for you.
Don’t compare yourself. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone else’s journey may appear smoother and better doesn’t mean the aren’t walking a bumpy road. Live your journey and only yours. What’s meant for you will find it’s way to you when it’s the right time. Sometimes we can be given gifts at the wrong time in life, and we’ll lose it because we weren’t ready for it and didn’t know how to handle it.
Move your body. Along with eating colorful, moving your body will help eliminate many health problems. I know as I’ve grown I have to get up and stretch because my body just gets stiff. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. But just work muscles and move your body to get the blood flowing better.
Those are some daily good for you habits that can be done anytime. Being good to you, doesn’t require much. You deserve to feel good inside and out. Sometimes no matter what someone does for us, we just have to make our own self feel good. Be good to you. You deserve it.
Life itself is a privilege, but to livelife to the fullest-well, that is a choice.”- Andy Andrews
We all literally have the power to make our life what we want. Who is stopping us. Fear, money, approval from others, embarrassment to make certain choices, and life circumstances are all reasons we don’t fully live the life we want. Then on the other hand I see those that pick up and move to another state because they want to start over or that was always a dream of theirs. Then there is those that quit their secure paying job with benefits to start their business or fulfill their dream. I’ve spoken to clients who says they are buying an RV and just going to travel around and wherever they end up that’s where they’ll be until they are ready to go. I admire those. Because so often we’re told to have our ducks in a row. We can do everything right. Save and have an emergency fund. Plan the right time to buy that home, have a kid, switch careers, and go on vacation. But what I know to be true is, life never stops. There are going to be some things that throws a wrench in our plans. You have every right to live your ONE life how you see fit. There aren’t any do overs here. You can make the choices you want to live the life you want. You only get one life. We can’t even do over a day, hour, or minute. Don’t let fear and other factors stop you from taking that leap of faith. FEAR IS A WASTE OF TIME You can start over as many times as you can. It’s better to try to see how that dream plays out than to always think about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. Enjoy the rest of your day.
On a daily we worry about things that are out of our control. We also give time, conversation, and resources to people and things that don’t deserve our energy. Hence, we end up disappointed, sad, angry, and frustrated because we didn’t get a return on our investment. Part of self care is realizing and prioritizing certain things that are worth our time and energy. Once we accept and acknowledge our worth, we’ll be able to manage and dedicate ourselves to people and things that serves us good.
People pleasing. For some people, no matter what you do or give it just won’t be enough. It will seem as if the goal post just keeping moving. For those that are always requiring more of you, they are lacking in something you can’t fulfill. That is for them to figure out and make peace with. You do what you can within your power and limits. Also do what you want. Just because you have the time and resources doesn’t mean you have to exhaust them out.
Proving yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are. What you have, what you make, where you live, your job, or anything else. You are the only one like you that exist in this world. No matter how hard someone tries, they can’t be like you and furthermore, you can’t make yourself into something else. With where you are and what you have to offer, if it’s not good enough then they don’t deserve the air you breathe.
Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. There is no way on earth anyone can be perfect. Trying to chase perfectionism robs you of your joy and enjoying the gifts you have now. Instead of living in the moment and appreciating where you are, it’s being overlooked. Also when chasing perfection we’re tying to present a version of ourselves that don’t exist. Be you. You are perfectly imperfect.
Self doubt, negative self talk, and overly critical. This does nothing for our emotionalwellness. Sometimes we think being hard on ourselves is being humble or self motivating. Some of us are conditioned to not even pat ourselves on the back or celebrate our wins. It is very important to celebrate ourselves even the small wins on a daily. Believe it or not, we can put ourself down worst than anyone else. Talk good to you. Build yourself up.
Not forgiving. Yes, this is tough. But forgiveness is truly for you. You need to sleep at night. Move on with your life. Learn from the events and situation, so you can possibly see the signs and prevent it from happening again. Not forgiving, says so much about us more than the person that caused the trauma. They have to pay for what they did to you and you can’t say when or how it will happen.
Those are 6 things that I had to learn to let go in order to get to the dailylife I envision for myself. With activedaily practice and exercises, there will be a point you can live for you and not worry about what others think. However, when you get to that point, don’t stop. Keep doing the affirmations, journaling, prayer, meditation, and therapy that got you there. Be well!!!!!
“Don’t let the concept of change scare you as much as the concept of staying unhappy.” -Timber Hawkeye
Why do we fear change? It’s the unknown of what’s going to happen. We aren’t in control. The fear of failure has us fearing change. We are used to our routine. The comfort zone we’re in, we psych ourselves out to stay in. But is continuing getting the same you’re getting better than trying something new. If we already are unhappy why not channel that energy and try something new. As we try something new and embracechange we are learning and evolving. We weren’t meant to be here and not grow. Change is good. Change is growth. Change is healing. Change is opportunity. Change is freedom. If you’re tired of the same ole same ole, ask yourself “what am I scared of?” Let go of wanting to be in control. Sometimes we have to release that control. So often what we think is best isn’t the best. Letting go and letting the universe guide you, will be more beneficial than you ever thought. The outcome will be greater than you expected. Embrace the unknown. No way we will ever be able to know everything. Going in blindly is the best learning experiencementally and emotionally. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE Don’t psych yourself out. You are smarter than you think. Braver than you think. Stronger than you think. Tougher than you think. Embracechange and grow through it. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!
I’ve been working on my mentalmindset lately. I know everything starts with the mental. What I think I will become. My mind controls everything down to my toes. It’s important to know and understand the power your mind has. Creating a positive mindset and having dailyhabits to keep it on the positive track will help for more happy days. Unfortunately, we just can’t wake up and say I have a positive mindset. The mind has to be exercised daily.
Keep your expectations low. The more you expect, the greater chance you’ll be let down. Expecting others to do what you do, give what you give, or respond how you’d respond will have you disappointed every time.
You’ve survived every bad day you thought you had. With that sheer fact, you are a winner. So guess what, you can grow and heal through anything.
What you tell yourself matters. Think highly and abundantly of yourself. Instead of saying I am not qualified, tell yourself you haven’t accessed the skills yet needed. The words you tell yourself matters more than any one else’s words. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS
Each day wake up with the expectation that something good is going to happen to you, with you, and for you. Go into each day knowing you’re going to be blessed with something off your wish list.
You are equipped and have everything you need to be the best version of you. You don’t lack anything. You have been filled with what you need. You want to know why? There is only one you. No one has what you have or can be you.
Master the art of remaining emotionally calm. Do not respond emotionally. It will lead you astray. Our emotions are temporary. Therefore, we shouldn’t make long term decisions off temporary emotions.
It is ok to have a bad day. We all are going to wake up one day and just not be in the mood. As long as you don’t let that dictate your outcome. The next day is a fresh start.
Nurture you mind, soul, heart, and body daily. You have to take care of yourself inside and out everyday. Show yourself some love so you can give love and receive love.
Give yourself some grace. Be patient with yourself. You are doing the best you can with what you have.
Those are 10 daily reminders that keep my mental in a state of abundance. Consistently feed your mind with positive thoughts, images, and reminders to build that bank up. So when you do have a bad day, the bank is in overflow and you won’t lack.