FAMILY AND CAREER: CAN YOU HAVE BOTH?

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Can you have both: family and career. Some says yes and others says no. Both are full time jobs. Due to my husband position I was the one who had to be extremely flexible and sacrifice. With that being said, I knew I wanted to be present mentally and emotionally for my kids. I only have them for a short amount of time before they expand their wings and go on their own. Conversations with those of my generation, one of the common themes was lack of emotional support. Having a parent interested them, their thoughts, feelings, interest, views, likes, and dislikes.

I’ve watched some friends and family members raise their children completely different and saw outcomes that support both.

First we have the one parent that says I have to work and pay the bills. This parent works two jobs. By the time she gets home her children are in bed. She hasn’t seen them since they left for the school bus. She says they’ve text throughout the day and they are ok. Are they really? Also she believes they love hanging out with their friends and they don’t care if she goes to work. But for some reason one daughter is always calling her at work saying she’s sick. She wants her mom to come pick her up and stay with her at home. She sends dad.

She says they have everything they ask for. That’s why I’m working so much. I take them on a vacation every summer. We have a lake house. I have to work and have my life. She’s right. But is there a cost.

Then she says there’s no need to go to parent teacher conference. Her kids aren’t failing. She thinks her kids doesn’t want her at events, they don’t care. She and her husband told their son because they had to work 2 jobs he couldn’t join baseball because they couldn’t commit. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

On the other hand, we have the one who says I’m going to go to every event, game, show, award ceremony my kid have. I’ll live a subtle life to spend time with the kids. They don’t need name brand stuff all the time. She works just under 40 hours and leaves at 4pm because she says getting off at 5pm is too late for her to start her evening with the kids. They have TV shows they watch together. They eat dinner together. She’s the carpool mom and is very inquisitive about their friends and social life.

She says she’s being a concerned mom. She wants to know everything about them and be there for them. Is there a such thing as a helicopter mom?

Yes kids love having “stuff”. But at the end of the day they want mom or dad there. Not necessarily engaging, but available. They want that comfort and security of knowing you’re around. Or else the risk of the kids learning and finding their way without you can hurt them and the relationship.

No one can put 100% in two things. Being present physically, is different from being present mentally and emotionally. Kids really don’t care about the money.

A couple weeks ago my daughter had an award ceremony because she was nominated for Student Of The Month. During this ceremony there were also other awards given for different categories and grades. Sure the ceremony was on a Friday morning at 9am. They had coffee, donuts, milk and water for us to snack on with our kid until the ceremony started. We were able to mix and mingle with the other parents as well.

However, it broke my heart so bad that a couple of kids didn’t have parents to show. These were huge awards that all teachers and counselors voted on for a particular student. They were eating donuts alone. Looking so sad. At one point I even told my daughter to go tell one student to come sit with us. I just couldn’t help it.

When their name were called up, the counselor read the loving note from the teacher that nominated them. They received their award and took photos. The body language and the barely there smile killed me. At some point I heard a little guy say, my mom couldn’t come she had to work.

Yes you have to work. May not be able to get off every time. But unfortunately, the only things the kids see and remember is being alone at some pretty great moments. No material thing can get rid of that.

Of course, family dynamics, finances, and type of career makes a difference.

So can you really have it all? Family and Career.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” – Khaled Hosseini

”The truth hurts.” I think we all heard this since birth growing up. Why? Because it really does hurt. When faced with the truth there are some tough decisions and choices you’re going to have to make. Those decisions will effect relationships, your finances, and life circumstances. We often avoid them because the unknown side effects are unbearable to think about. However, imagine the internal pain and sometimes physical pain we cause ourselves when trying to justify what we know to be a lie. We make excuses, blame ourselves, give empty boundaries and consequences, blame other people, outside circumstances, and eventually give multiple chances. We just keep adding commas when a period or exclamation point should have ended it. TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS The relationship, job, financial budgeting, goals, health, dieting, exercising, and many other things we move the goal post on. Yes it’s so much easier to deal with the truth on the front end than back end. It saves time, money, and heart ache. If we don’t take care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally we have mental breakdowns, stress causing health problems, lack of sleep, and poor habits. When saying I need a day off is so much easier. Getting that check up and catching things early or preventing is better than a diagnosis. Taking care of your home and vehicle maintenance is better than spending thousands of dollars on the back end. No matter what area of your life it is, facing the truth, acknowledging the truth, and conquering it head on will be better for your wellbeing all around. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

RESOLVE EVERYTHING FROM LAST WEEK

Before the beginning of the new week or work week for some, it’s important to resolve everything that happened last week. From work, to family, health, plans, and what you didn’t get done. Write it down, talk about it, adjust, and learn from last week. One of the biggest mistakes we make is dragging Friday into Monday morning. That’s how we get stuck and trapped into a dark cycle. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED

white and black weekly planner on gray surface

First starting with work. Whatever happened, leave it there. Try not to bring work home. Once you leave don’t revisit until you go back the next day. Even if you work from home. You can’t change what happened or go back and get a redo. Figure out how you can manage yourself and your expectations going forward to give you the opportunity to succeed. Not just succeed in the functions, but mentally and emotionally as well. Create 2-3 goals for yourself professionally this week. Find a plan to eliminate some stressors, if you have them, to have a better days work.

If you didn’t get to take care of yourself like you wanted this week, again, create a plan to carve time for you to exercise. Sit down on Sunday and create a meal plan for the week. Look at your schedule and see when you have some free time to carve out. Make a commitment to focus on yourself for one hour each day.

Sometimes we need to connect and have a good conversation. If there is a family member or friend that you’ve been meaning to reach out to, schedule that in. Often we feel so much better when we talk out what’s been going on with us and just to release our thoughts and feelings. Purging and hearing someone else’s point of view may help us navigate our daily life.

We’ve heard the cliche, “make sure you close one door before opening another.” Close out this week to prepare for a clean slate. Don’t carry baggage over for it to just pile and stink up the week before you can create any new trash. Do what you have to do to be in safe space emotionally.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

20 THINGS I’M GRATEFUL FOR

I’ve heard a million times, one of the best and easiest ways to pick yourself up is to make a list of things you’re grateful for. We are blessed everyday just to wake up. Even if you’re in good spirits and life has you feeling good, it still is a good idea to list a couple things each day that you’re grateful for. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER A daily gratitude journal may be the best if you don’t know where to start. But I thought I’d just make a list of things I’ve been especially grateful for.

a person holding a gray thank you signage

Things I’m Grateful For…

The activity of my limbs
My self awareness and mental clarity
Heat during these cold days
My bed
Food to eat each day
My home
My health (physical, mental, and emotional)
My job
The ability to have this blog
My kids health
Family
I’ve had some amazing conversations with certain clients lately
My friends
My husband
Our marriage
My treadmill
My inspirational journals
My daily cup of coffee
My plants
Love

Those are 20 that I’ve been very grateful for lately. As I continue to grow I notice it’s the small things that makes me happy and keeps me going. Each day you do this some will remain constant and other things will appear on your list. Either way no matter how you’re feeling at some point in the day make a list of a minimum of 3 things you’re grateful for. As you continue to do it you’ll begin to notice you can’t stop thinking of things you’re grateful for. Happy Sunday Funday!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

We see it all the time, “be good to yourself”, “be kind to yourself”. The interpretation is that it takes a lot of money, fancy material things, or a perfect life. When in actuality it’s the simple daily habits you do for you that is the most beneficial. Trust me, I was one of those that didn’t think the small things mattered. But as I do them everyday and multiple times a day, it is the best free form of therapy. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK

Simple Habits To Be Good To You

Rest. Simple enough right. Living off 2 hours of sleep doesn’t do anyone good. I remember years ago when everyone was talking grinding and getting no sleep. That is nonsense. Your body and mind needs rest to recharge. Give yourself a cut off time for work. Make a day where you do nothing but binge something on the tube. Rest yourself. Everyone will benefit from it.
Take a day off. No longer do I feel guilty for taking a day or even a half a day. Sometimes you just need to unplug and log off. Have a moment without the kids home, or your spouse. Sit in silence and in peace. Use your PTO. Sometimes you just need a break from work. I know the weekend or the 2 days off you may get isn’t enough for me sometimes.
Eat yourself some colors. If you need some inspiration, Pinterest will give you all the recipes you need to expand your pallet and not get bored with the same dishes over and over again. If you can’t eliminate certain foods completely, just cut back. Simply cutting back on sugar, salt, and processed foods will make a huge difference in how your body feels.
Read, journal, pray, meditate. Whatever you need to center yourself, DO IT. There is so much power in focusing our minds on the positive filling up that mental health bank. Daily practices of mental and emotional self care will have your mental health bank so full that when you do need to withdraw from it, there won’t be a dent in it. Find something that works for you.
Don’t compare yourself. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone else’s journey may appear smoother and better doesn’t mean the aren’t walking a bumpy road. Live your journey and only yours. What’s meant for you will find it’s way to you when it’s the right time. Sometimes we can be given gifts at the wrong time in life, and we’ll lose it because we weren’t ready for it and didn’t know how to handle it.
Move your body. Along with eating colorful, moving your body will help eliminate many health problems. I know as I’ve grown I have to get up and stretch because my body just gets stiff. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. But just work muscles and move your body to get the blood flowing better.

Those are some daily good for you habits that can be done anytime. Being good to you, doesn’t require much. You deserve to feel good inside and out. Sometimes no matter what someone does for us, we just have to make our own self feel good. Be good to you. You deserve it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

Life itself is a privilege, but to live life to the fullest-well, that is a choice.”- Andy Andrews

We all literally have the power to make our life what we want. Who is stopping us. Fear, money, approval from others, embarrassment to make certain choices, and life circumstances are all reasons we don’t fully live the life we want. Then on the other hand I see those that pick up and move to another state because they want to start over or that was always a dream of theirs. Then there is those that quit their secure paying job with benefits to start their business or fulfill their dream. I’ve spoken to clients who says they are buying an RV and just going to travel around and wherever they end up that’s where they’ll be until they are ready to go. I admire those. Because so often we’re told to have our ducks in a row. We can do everything right. Save and have an emergency fund. Plan the right time to buy that home, have a kid, switch careers, and go on vacation. But what I know to be true is, life never stops. There are going to be some things that throws a wrench in our plans. You have every right to live your ONE life how you see fit. There aren’t any do overs here. You can make the choices you want to live the life you want. You only get one life. We can’t even do over a day, hour, or minute. Don’t let fear and other factors stop you from taking that leap of faith. FEAR IS A WASTE OF TIME You can start over as many times as you can. It’s better to try to see how that dream plays out than to always think about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. Enjoy the rest of your day.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

10 DAILY REMINDERS FOR A POSITIVE MINDSET

I’ve been working on my mental mindset lately. I know everything starts with the mental. What I think I will become. My mind controls everything down to my toes. It’s important to know and understand the power your mind has. Creating a positive mindset and having daily habits to keep it on the positive track will help for more happy days. Unfortunately, we just can’t wake up and say I have a positive mindset. The mind has to be exercised daily.

Here are my 10 Daily Reminders for A Positive Mindset

Keep your expectations low. The more you expect, the greater chance you’ll be let down. Expecting others to do what you do, give what you give, or respond how you’d respond will have you disappointed every time.
Boundaries save relationships. The more we let others cross our boundaries without consequences, the more anger, resentment, and frustration builds toward that person. Boundaries are not only healthy for you, but the other person as well.
You’ve survived every bad day you thought you had. With that sheer fact, you are a winner. So guess what, you can grow and heal through anything.
What you tell yourself matters. Think highly and abundantly of yourself. Instead of saying I am not qualified, tell yourself you haven’t accessed the skills yet needed. The words you tell yourself matters more than any one else’s words. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS
Each day wake up with the expectation that something good is going to happen to you, with you, and for you. Go into each day knowing you’re going to be blessed with something off your wish list.
You are equipped and have everything you need to be the best version of you. You don’t lack anything. You have been filled with what you need. You want to know why? There is only one you. No one has what you have or can be you.
Master the art of remaining emotionally calm. Do not respond emotionally. It will lead you astray. Our emotions are temporary. Therefore, we shouldn’t make long term decisions off temporary emotions.
It is ok to have a bad day. We all are going to wake up one day and just not be in the mood. As long as you don’t let that dictate your outcome. The next day is a fresh start.
Nurture you mind, soul, heart, and body daily. You have to take care of yourself inside and out everyday. Show yourself some love so you can give love and receive love.
Give yourself some grace. Be patient with yourself. You are doing the best you can with what you have.

Those are 10 daily reminders that keep my mental in a state of abundance. Consistently feed your mind with positive thoughts, images, and reminders to build that bank up. So when you do have a bad day, the bank is in overflow and you won’t lack.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay

The one thing I know is, what we tell ourselves hurts us more than anything someone else says or does. You wanna know why? We believe everything we tell ourselves. Furthermore, we are very good at talking ourselves out of something. We can think of a scenario and situation in our heads and it never happened. Have you ever played out a conversation or arguement in your head? We’ve all done that at one point, “the next time I see XYZ and they say this, I’m going to say this.” Oh!!!! How many times have you started your day complaining about everything you had to do at work, how you didn’t want to talk to certain people, or how that coworker gets on your last nerves. Then you get to work, and the sheer sight of your coworker turns your smile upside down. Why? Because we’ve already talked ourselves into not wanting to have a good day or interaction. No matter what the situation or circumstance is, what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how our day and life goes. Sadly, we are very good at talking ourselves into a negative mindset. Don’t you think we can be even better at talking ourselves into a positive mindset. The last two weeks, before I even turn on my computer I write for 1-2 minutes on a notebook of nothing but positive thoughts, affirmations, and prayers. It’s not uniformed or grammatically correct. My intentions are to ensure I’m in the right mindset, positive self talk, and motivation. If you are experiencing too many negative thoughts try turning those into some positives. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS

Example of My Morning Notes:

I am fearless
I am brave
I am strong
I am a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and worker
I am good at my job
God give me the strength to replace any negative thoughts with positive
God thank you for keeping me so many times, thank you for saving me, thank you for my family and our health
I am in control of my emotions
I give myself grace

That’s what came to mind yesterday morning. Sometimes it’s less and other times it’s more. But every day, moment, and direction of our life depends on how we view it, handle it, and overcome. Most importantly it’s what we say to ourselves quietly that hurts the most. So those things you are saying that no one hears, turn those into positives and tell yourself good things. Have a great day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”May your heart heal. May your past no longer block your view of the present. May you breathe again, laugh again, rest again, live again. May it be so.- Thema Bryant Davis

white and gray stone on brown wooden table

The hardest pill to swallow is realizing no matter what was done to you or said to you, is that you are the only one responsible to not let it hurt you again and again. No one can get over the pain and hurt for you. Even if you received an apology, it’s up to you to accept it and forgive. Our healing is our responsibility and it has to start with us internally first. We have the absolute power and control to heal. We first have to let go of what was done, who done it, and resolve that we can’t change it. What others say about us, do to us, or say to us says more about them than you. How you respond, react, and forgive says more about you. And that is the only thing we have control over. To heal your heart and be free, let go of the relationship you desired that didn’t get. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS That could be any kind of relationship. Let go of the betrayal and pain that has you hostage from breathing, laughing, and loving again. Allowing the past to continue to hurt us over and over is self sabotaging. That situation has past and that person has moved on. Make a decision to release and let go. Think about how you are no longer that person, you are not what they say you are, and you’ve made it no matter what circumstances was placed in front of you. Remove anger, guilt, shame, hurt, and tell yourself you are free. You are free to love, laugh, breathe, and live the life you desire. Do something each day to live for a better you. Have a great day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY: NEW YEAR EDITION

“Just a reminder that you don’t have to make resolutions. Or huge decisions. Or big proclamations. You can just set some sweet intentions and take each day as it comes.” Victoria Erickson

Please don’t feel the pressure to make some grand resolutions or major life changes. Typically any kind of lifestyle change or habit has to be developed. You don’t just wake up one day and say I’m going to start this and sustain that resolution long term. Hence, why most new year resolutions don’t make it past the end of January. To begin anything, you have to make a commitment mentally first. Instead create small goals, tasks, and intentions that you can stick to for a while and then add as you go. 10 NEW YEAR SELF CARE HABITS FOR A FRESH START The small daily self care habits and intentions are what builds up to a major lifestyle change. The last couple weeks of December I made a commitment to speak at least 3-5 affirmations aloud to myself in the mirror every morning. Sometimes I will do it in the middle of the day and before I go to bed. This gives me the mental mindset to remain positive, calm, and take action throughout the day to reach my goals. Setting small intentions for the day or week is easier attainable than long term goals. Instead of saying I’m going to lose 20lbs this month, commit to “I will work out 20 minutes 3x a week.” You’ll find that is easier to follow through with. Sometimes we can bite off more than we can chew. Which leads to discouragement, then eventually not doing anything at all. Think about one thing you want to accomplish this year and focus on that. My word this year is self awareness. I had many moments of self reflection and light bulb moments toward the end of the year that enlightened me on how I show up. I want to continue that to ensure my relationships, career, and life is fulfilled with the intentions I set out to achieve and possess. Enjoy each day, each moment, have no regrets, and be the best you, you can be each day. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!