HE WASN’T MAD AT ME

After 30 minutes of crying my eyes out and going for a walk, I realized he wasn’t mad at me. One day my brother called me and immediately from hello, I knew he was heated. Now, I’m still being my normal self because in my mind I know it’s not towards me or about me. “Did you know auntie moved to Vegas?” I answered, yes. Well what do I get for being honest.

He yelled, cursed, and went on a tangent about how he’s always the last to know anything. The family only calls him when they want or need something. I’m stunned and confused because it had been more than a week or so that she moved. She told me she was going to call everyone with her new address and information. So I’m thinking to myself, she hasn’t gotten around to it. My aunt had this grand plan to tell everyone because she was hosting Thanksgiving this year.

Well after about 2 attempts of me trying to get a word in, he said “I see how y’all are, if that’s how you want to be, fine!!” He hung up on me. I looked at my husband and we both were confused. Immediately I burst into tears, ran upstairs, put on my walking clothes, grabbed my earbuds and went out for a walk. My husband was trying to catch me but I just had to go. My brother and I have always been close, never had arguments or disagreements, always one another confidant, and I just couldn’t believe he spoke to me the way he did. GROWTH TIP: YOU CAN LEARN FROM ANYONE

Now the old me kicked in for a minute and instantly said I’m not calling him, I’m not answering his calls, and he has done it for himself. But then after 30 minutes it clicked, he wasn’t mad at me. Thank God for journaling, prayer, meditation, and inner healing. Here’s what I figured out:

He was mad at my aunt but couldn’t express that due to ego, hurt, and lack of understanding. Now my aunt and him were like two peas in a pot. They had the best relationship. He was upset because he felt like they had an unbreakable bond and he wasn’t the first person she told. Every time I tried to encourage him to think about it in another perspective, he shot me down.
Which leads me to, when someone has something already made up in their mind there is no way to get them to think about things differently. Especially if they haven’t done internal work to understand their triggers, misunderstandings, and communication.
This is exactly what they mean when they say, don’t take things personally. It had nothing to do with me. He was upset with her and I was the one who answered the phone. My brother is a self admitted people pleaser, he doesn’t like when people think negative of him, and my aunt is the one who was able to get to him. So he felt betrayal probably.
For me, it’s a reminder that you have to remain emotionally sound to ensure you don’t damage yourself, others, and relationships. If I would have reacted and matched his emotions, tone, and demeanor it would have took a turn that would have been difficult to come back from. In the very beginning of the call I was able to recognize he just wanted to get out what he made up in his head and a response wasn’t wanted, needed, or required.
Don’t let others anger, feelings, and misunderstandings change you or how you feel. Be who you are and when there is an opportunity for encouragement and inspiration then give it. It will be received and comprehended when it’s settled.

I had to look back at this exchange and say I’m proud of myself. This allowed me to answer the phone when he called me again, have a conversation, and continue to be brother and sister. The cherry on top was, I told my husband I don’t want or need an apology. I’m ok. I just want him to get to a point where he doesn’t have to people please and prove himself. What he doesn’t realize is, it was more of a reminder for me to continue to do the work.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

IT’S OK, TO BE OK WITH SOME THINGS

This weekend having a conversation with my aunt about this thing called life, made some uncomfortable “things” come up. By the end, I told her sometimes you just have to be ok with some things. It doesn’t make it bad. It doesn’t make it wrong. IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS Just being ok, accepting, and releasing gives you the opportunity to grow, heal, and be at peace. Here are some things we just sometimes have to be ok with.

close up shot of keyboard buttons — Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán on Pexels.com

It’s Ok…

-To not want to be ok
-To not feel ok
-To feel lonely
-Needing or wanting someone around, or companionship
-Not knowing what you want to do
-If your feelings are hurt
-To feel more than one emotion or one way
-To lose interest
-Want something different
-To seek a different perspective than the normal
-To have thoughts of giving up or quitting
-Gain a few pounds
-Have a setback of any kind (diet, fitness, finances, emotions)
-If something or someone isn’t what you expected

”Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s okay to have a moment of uncertainty about life. It’s a transformative period to find your purpose.”

Those are just a few things that came up in our conversation. No matter how old you are or what you’re doing it’s ok. Sometimes we won’t have all the answers or information. We even may not ever get any or all of it. The only thing we can do is do the best we can with what we have. Everything will work out. In many circumstances it’s better to not know all the answers.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

7 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS FOR EMOTIONAL DAYS

You ever have that feeling when you wake up something is just off? You know, you do everything as you normally would. Nothing in particular happened to you or no one said anything, you just feel blue. 12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH Before, you know it, you’re an emotional mess. Well, those days are normal. We all are going to have those days, more than once. It’s called life. For many reasons such as, lack of sleep, lack of healthy eating, being overworked, packed schedule, not feeling appreciated, lack of exercise, lack of time for self care, and many other factors can cause this “sudden” feeling of emotions. The good news is, once this day is over, that’s it, it’s over. You start fresh tomorrow. The important thing is to live in the moment, have the breakdown, don’t run from it, and release. Here are a few reminders for those overwhelming emotional days.

Have the breakdown. Cry like a baby. Release the hurt, anger, pain, and frustration. Don’t deny yourself the ability to release. The power is in the release. Feel every emotion and allow them to process.
Talk it aloud, to yourself. While having the breakdown ask yourself why am I feeling like this, what has me crying and hurting, how did I get here, what have I been feeling and ignoring, why have I been acting like nothing is bothering me. Make sure to answer the questions honestly. That’s where you’ll get the courage, wisdom, and knowledge to grow.
Wash it away. Have a good hot shower and release it down the drain once you feel you’ve let it all out. This prepares you for the fresh start and good nights sleep.
Sleep and eat. Although you may not feel like it, prepare yourself a good nutritious meal. Get your belly full and enjoy your favorite meal. The act of preparing you something to eat will redirect your mind to something positive and get your creative thoughts flowing. Don’t forget after that shower, sleep. A good nights sleep recharges the body, mind, and spirit.
Make a plan. After the breakdown, you’ve released, and washed it away, by now you have some understanding of where you need to clear things up, get better at, or work on something new. Make a plan on how you’re going to reset and recharge. This gives an instant boost of confidence and self esteem.
Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself you got this. You are a conqueror. Motivate and affirm yourself before going to bed. Remind yourself how confident, smart, loving, and healthy you are.
Forget about it. Tomorrow is a new day. You did what you had to do today to break through. Now it’s time to move on, grow, and learn. This emotional day has prepared you on how to better yourself days going forward. Go laugh and enjoy yourself.

Those are just a couple of reminders to help you through the emotional day and after. The most important is to acknowledge it and don’t run. When we run, we lose ourselves even more. We get further away from who we want to be, how we want to live, and where we want to go. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

16 THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN SOONER

When I was younger my mom used to tell me “when you get older you’ll understand.” I think we all heard that growing up at some point. Because when we’re teenagers and in our 20’s we know everything right. Well it’s some things that I wished were spoken to me sooner or I’d known sooner. They seem so simple and basic, yet it would have helped eliminate much tension, stress, and anxiety.

Things I Wish I Knew Sooner

-I will be ok and I will still live if no liked me
-It’s ok to say no to family and friends
-It’s ok to speak up, say how I feel, and express myself
-I am the only one in control of my life and career
-I control how my day goes
-Taking a break for myself and mental peace is essential
-Thoughts and attitude can change the course of your day and life
-Keeping my emotions intact and not reacting emotionally save heart ache
-I can start over as many times as I want
-I don’t have to be one thing, I can try and do everything that interest me
-Everything will work out
-No I could not have done more, I did what I was able to do with what I had
-You are suppose to enjoy life
-Sadness will come, bad days will happen, and I will get hurt
-I don’t need permission to feel how I feel
-Being different is good

Those are just a couple thoughts, feelings, and emotions I wish I knew sooner. Of course, when we get older and experience life certain things makes sense. Or, you’re more equipped mentally and emotionally to understand and process. Even now, that they are understood, doesn’t mean you may not have one of the above thoughts. That’s why life and happiness is a journey. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s how we handle the peaks and valleys of that journey. Don’t disturb your peace. Be patient, do what you can, and tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. Be well!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

What is emotional wellness? Emotional wellness is the ability to navigate, overcome, and conquer the hurdles that life puts in our pathway. How well do you handle rejection? Do you adapt to change well? When the going gets tough, do you respond or react emotionally. Here are some tips to help you maintain emotional wellness and balance.

The one thing that stays in the front of my mind, is to always be in control of your emotions. Our emotions can cause us to make a decision that will lead to a snowball of other hurdles. Remaining calm, staying true to who you are, and knowing who you are is a major key.

Tips For Emotional Balance

-Allow yourself the grace and give yourself permission to say I’m going through something right now. A change is happening or there is a speed bump ahead and I’m scared. You may not even know how or when you’re going to get over that bump, but the sheer acknowledgement gives a clear pathway.

-Don’t make any quick or rational decisions. If you can or have the opportunity to, take a moment, hour, or day before responding. Giving yourself some time to step away and clear the lens will allow for a better understanding and thought process.

-Do something for you. Find an activity or hobby to get your mind off of what is going on. Have a refocus and a distraction. Exercise is always a good distraction because you’re also releasing tension. Whatever makes you happy or laugh do it.

-Find a positive. There is something in every situation that is a positive. Find the lesson. What are you supposed to take away? That is going to be the greatest gift of all. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES

-Have a good night routine to wash the day away. Cleanse your mind, body, and spirit. The most harmful we can do is to take the days events into the next.

-Finally change is good. Change is needed. Without change we would not grow. Embrace change. Going through change is a sign that bigger and better is on your way. Open your mind to new possibilities. The more we fight change the harder it will seem.

Those are just a couple of tips to help maintain an emotional stable balance daily. Take it one day at time. If you can’t do everything you’d like to do in a day, then don’t. Whatever your emotional tank allows you to do then do it and leave the rest for a better day. We only get so much emotional energy in a day. Use it wisely.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH

There are many things that we hold on to, carry, and simmer in that is bad for our mental and emotional health. Getting rid of all the negative thoughts, opinions, and views that we place on ourselves or accepted from others will definitely get us on the right track.

12 Things To Let Go

–Fear. Most of the the time it’s fear of what others think. Or the fear of the unknown. Either way let it go. Others point of view and opinions doesn’t define you. In the same breath, fearing the unknown isn’t going to help your growth.

–Anger. Holding on to anger causes wrinkles, heart attacks, stress, frown lines, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, weight gain on the other hand, and other fatigue that causes your entire wellness to deteriorate. While you’re holding on to that anger that situation is long gone, that person has slept peacefully, and you’ve lost time. Let it go for your mental sake.

–Resentment. Resenting someone or something requires you to hold and relive the past. How is that helping you? It’s not. Forgive. Understand the why. Learn the lesson. Create space. Move on. Let it go. Resentment isn’t hurting the other person it’s hurting you. Don’t continue to hurt yourself trying to hurt someone else.

–Guilt. Is a total waste of time. It isn’t going to change the past. Getting rid of guilt allows you to free yourself. A great reminder about feeling guilty is “you aren’t responsible for others happiness.” Let them carry their own weight. You can encourage them but not carry it for them.

–Overthinking. Letting go of overthinking will free you to actually be productive. As long as you are thinking about all the “what ifs”, you’re not doing. Stop thinking about it, and do. If you’re worried about a situation let it play out how it suppose to. Most of the time what we want or think is best isn’t the best.

–Low Self Esteem. If you aren’t feeling the most confident, then fake it until you make it. The more you act confident the more confident you’ll become. Confidence is a muscle that has to be exercised daily and consistently. MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH: 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

–Toxic Relationships. This is a no brainer. You know who you need to get rid of. No one has to remind you or tell you who’s not good for you. If you hesitate to answer a certain person call, then it’s time to put distance in that relationship. Who ever makes your mood change when they come around requires distance. It’s perfectly ok to love from a distance.

–Feeling of not being enough. You are perfectly you because God created you how He wanted. If God says you’re enough then no one on this earth can change that. Know it. Believe it. Feel it.

–Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. Perfection doesn’t exist. You’re just going to be a hamster on wheel chasing something imaginary. Let go of the wanting or liking to be or appear perfect. Everyone on this earth has flaws and kinks about them.

–Control. Trying to control everything and everyone is driving you crazy. You are losing sleep. Your focus and concentration is off. Wanting to have control is a sign of some internal healing that needs to take place. Ask yourself why do I feel the need to have control. That will lead you to the path of clarity.

–Doubt. Just do it. Doubting yourself is wasting time. It isn’t going to effect the outcome one way or another. The only thing doubt does, is kill your confidence and self esteem. Get rid of the doubt and go for your dreams. You can plan everything down to the minute, but something always throws a wrench in our plans. Do your best and forget the rest.

–The past. That’s long gone and ain’t coming back. (Yes I said ain’t.) The past isn’t going to change, won’t change, and doesn’t care about the now. Living in the past is stopping you from experiencing your life presently. Don’t rob yourself of happiness by reliving the past.

Those are 12 things you need to toss away to better your mental health. Yes, we’ve experienced some bad relationships and circumstances but most of our mental health issues comes from self inflicted pain. Don’t do others dirty work and constantly hurt yourself. Clean up those insecurities, bad habits, and negative ways of thinking to boost your mental and emotional wellness.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our troubles.”-Charlie Chaplin

The only thing that’s permanent is change. If we don’t learn to adapt and reset as our life evolve we will live in the past, and not live up to the life we should. You are stronger and tougher than any problem or situation you’re going through. Remember tough times don’t last, but tough people do. Yes, you get tired of being strong willed and pushing through, but you are built to outlast any obstacle or roadblock that comes your way. WELLNESS: EVEN THE STRONGEST NEEDS A BREAK At the end of every storm, a rainbow comes out. Then we pick up the pieces that lasted in the storm, leave behind what we don’t need or want, and move forward to the next destination in our journey. Through each challenge you may face, there is a piece of wisdom there. Pick up that piece of wisdom and move on to live the life you deserve. Enjoy the rest of you day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Do not get upset with people or situations, both are powerless without your reaction.”–Unknown

Admittaly this one was the most gut wrenching for me. It pains me to allow others to get me to react emotionally. However, I’ve come to master the art of silence, walking away, ending conversations, and not giving in. Before someone can even finish what they are saying I’m already aware that they don’t deserve my emotional vulnerability. Whenever faced with a challenging situation remember you have the power and ability to be in control of your emotions. Don’t allow someone to drag you to the bottom and be their company. Politely end the conversation and walk away with your head held high. Leading with emotions will get us every time. Remember our emotions change on a daily. Even sometimes hourly depending on what life is handing us. So depending on emotions to lead us to the correct path isn’t a good idea. Learning to take how you “feel” out of the equation will allow you to be more level headed. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Motivation is what get’s you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”-@thewomenglow

motivational statement written on brown envelope

How many times have you started over? How many times have you started something new? Just think of every New Year, we have all these resolutions and goals. But it seems we don’t even make it through the first month. The first step is great. Having the will, motivation, and courage to want something new and different. QUICK MONDAY MORNING MOTIVATIONAL TIP The problem lies when we don’t become consistent and persistent on what we start. Creating small habits will enhance the motivation and keep your drive going. It’s perfectly normal and ok, to want to try many different things in life. We all are multifaceted. When engaging something new it’s important to understand and know your why. Then have a plan on how you’re going to navigate this new experience. Lastly, enjoy whatever this new experience offer and learn from the bumps in the road. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!