FAMILY AND CAREER: CAN YOU HAVE BOTH?

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Can you have both: family and career. Some says yes and others says no. Both are full time jobs. Due to my husband position I was the one who had to be extremely flexible and sacrifice. With that being said, I knew I wanted to be present mentally and emotionally for my kids. I only have them for a short amount of time before they expand their wings and go on their own. Conversations with those of my generation, one of the common themes was lack of emotional support. Having a parent interested them, their thoughts, feelings, interest, views, likes, and dislikes.

I’ve watched some friends and family members raise their children completely different and saw outcomes that support both.

First we have the one parent that says I have to work and pay the bills. This parent works two jobs. By the time she gets home her children are in bed. She hasn’t seen them since they left for the school bus. She says they’ve text throughout the day and they are ok. Are they really? Also she believes they love hanging out with their friends and they don’t care if she goes to work. But for some reason one daughter is always calling her at work saying she’s sick. She wants her mom to come pick her up and stay with her at home. She sends dad.

She says they have everything they ask for. That’s why I’m working so much. I take them on a vacation every summer. We have a lake house. I have to work and have my life. She’s right. But is there a cost.

Then she says there’s no need to go to parent teacher conference. Her kids aren’t failing. She thinks her kids doesn’t want her at events, they don’t care. She and her husband told their son because they had to work 2 jobs he couldn’t join baseball because they couldn’t commit. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

On the other hand, we have the one who says I’m going to go to every event, game, show, award ceremony my kid have. I’ll live a subtle life to spend time with the kids. They don’t need name brand stuff all the time. She works just under 40 hours and leaves at 4pm because she says getting off at 5pm is too late for her to start her evening with the kids. They have TV shows they watch together. They eat dinner together. She’s the carpool mom and is very inquisitive about their friends and social life.

She says she’s being a concerned mom. She wants to know everything about them and be there for them. Is there a such thing as a helicopter mom?

Yes kids love having “stuff”. But at the end of the day they want mom or dad there. Not necessarily engaging, but available. They want that comfort and security of knowing you’re around. Or else the risk of the kids learning and finding their way without you can hurt them and the relationship.

No one can put 100% in two things. Being present physically, is different from being present mentally and emotionally. Kids really don’t care about the money.

A couple weeks ago my daughter had an award ceremony because she was nominated for Student Of The Month. During this ceremony there were also other awards given for different categories and grades. Sure the ceremony was on a Friday morning at 9am. They had coffee, donuts, milk and water for us to snack on with our kid until the ceremony started. We were able to mix and mingle with the other parents as well.

However, it broke my heart so bad that a couple of kids didn’t have parents to show. These were huge awards that all teachers and counselors voted on for a particular student. They were eating donuts alone. Looking so sad. At one point I even told my daughter to go tell one student to come sit with us. I just couldn’t help it.

When their name were called up, the counselor read the loving note from the teacher that nominated them. They received their award and took photos. The body language and the barely there smile killed me. At some point I heard a little guy say, my mom couldn’t come she had to work.

Yes you have to work. May not be able to get off every time. But unfortunately, the only things the kids see and remember is being alone at some pretty great moments. No material thing can get rid of that.

Of course, family dynamics, finances, and type of career makes a difference.

So can you really have it all? Family and Career.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

ALL IT TAKES IS A SMILE

I’ve watched a ton of videos and read many articles from successful business owners and entrepreneurs. One going theme was they went into business to serve, solve a problem, make someone else life easier, and to give back. Then the financial gain came from that. It’s so cliche, and we see it everywhere we turn today, to be kind and make someone else smile. It’s free to smile, wave, be positive, say thank you, please, and to ask someone how their day is going. In turn, not only have you made someone else feel good, heard, seen, and appreciated, you’ve fed your heart with goodness that will grow. What we put out into the world will come back.

Yesterday when I went to pick my daughter up from school, there’s this teacher out there that directs traffic to let you know which lane to go to. He’s out there rain, sleet, snow, humidity, hot, and cold weather. He waves at every car or parent as he directs traffic. Each day my husband and I go we wave and go to the lane he tells us. Well yesterday, he made it a point to come to the window and motion me to roll it down. He proceeded to say he looks forward to my husband or I coming to pick up, because we always wave and smile back. He said he appreciated us acknowledging him, waving back and making his day. Many parents ignore him waving and just go through the line.

First of all, he’s a teacher and we appreciate him. However, the littlest gesture of appreciation is all we ever need. When someone smile at you, smile back, it’s free and that’s their way of acknowledging you. Waving and saying hello is the easiest way to tell someone you are seen and heard. To ignore them, is rude and says more about you than them.

To know that your hard work and efforts are appreciated gives you the motivation to keep going and to help others. We’ve all felt unappreciated at some point. If not at work, in relationships or at home. How many times have we said, a thank you would do great. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO #BE KIND

So it’s not a cliche. Be kind… to everyone out there. It definitely will be appreciated. The kindness always come back around. If you want to be treated with love, care, kindness, and respect we must give it out in abundance. Have a great day!!!!! #BeKind

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

RESOLVE EVERYTHING FROM LAST WEEK

Before the beginning of the new week or work week for some, it’s important to resolve everything that happened last week. From work, to family, health, plans, and what you didn’t get done. Write it down, talk about it, adjust, and learn from last week. One of the biggest mistakes we make is dragging Friday into Monday morning. That’s how we get stuck and trapped into a dark cycle. YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED

white and black weekly planner on gray surface

First starting with work. Whatever happened, leave it there. Try not to bring work home. Once you leave don’t revisit until you go back the next day. Even if you work from home. You can’t change what happened or go back and get a redo. Figure out how you can manage yourself and your expectations going forward to give you the opportunity to succeed. Not just succeed in the functions, but mentally and emotionally as well. Create 2-3 goals for yourself professionally this week. Find a plan to eliminate some stressors, if you have them, to have a better days work.

If you didn’t get to take care of yourself like you wanted this week, again, create a plan to carve time for you to exercise. Sit down on Sunday and create a meal plan for the week. Look at your schedule and see when you have some free time to carve out. Make a commitment to focus on yourself for one hour each day.

Sometimes we need to connect and have a good conversation. If there is a family member or friend that you’ve been meaning to reach out to, schedule that in. Often we feel so much better when we talk out what’s been going on with us and just to release our thoughts and feelings. Purging and hearing someone else’s point of view may help us navigate our daily life.

We’ve heard the cliche, “make sure you close one door before opening another.” Close out this week to prepare for a clean slate. Don’t carry baggage over for it to just pile and stink up the week before you can create any new trash. Do what you have to do to be in safe space emotionally.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Things have a miraculous way of working out. Trust that.”- Idil Ahmed

If I don’t know anything else, the one thing I do know is everything works out just fine. What do I mean by just fine? Well it probably won’t work out how you thought, expected, planned, or wanted but it works out how it supposed to. How the universe aligned it to. How God meant for it to work out for you. Also, it not only work out how it supposed to but when it supposed to. Most often it will come at a time we’ve given up, stop trying, or forgot about it because it didn’t happen when we wanted it to. That’s because we don’t know what’s best. When things doesn’t work out how you wanted or when, don’t get discouraged. Be grateful that you were protected from something you had no idea was around the corner. Sometimes the pain, frustration, and delay in our plans comes from us wanting to be in control so much. Trust the process. Trust yourself. Trust that no matter what, it will work out for the better. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: TRUST YOURSELF Embrace what you didn’t see coming and let go of what you thought was best. Too often our expectations let us down and prevent us from realizing the gifts we are given. Trust that everything will work out how it supposed to for your benefit. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

7 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS FOR EMOTIONAL DAYS

You ever have that feeling when you wake up something is just off? You know, you do everything as you normally would. Nothing in particular happened to you or no one said anything, you just feel blue. 12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH Before, you know it, you’re an emotional mess. Well, those days are normal. We all are going to have those days, more than once. It’s called life. For many reasons such as, lack of sleep, lack of healthy eating, being overworked, packed schedule, not feeling appreciated, lack of exercise, lack of time for self care, and many other factors can cause this “sudden” feeling of emotions. The good news is, once this day is over, that’s it, it’s over. You start fresh tomorrow. The important thing is to live in the moment, have the breakdown, don’t run from it, and release. Here are a few reminders for those overwhelming emotional days.

Have the breakdown. Cry like a baby. Release the hurt, anger, pain, and frustration. Don’t deny yourself the ability to release. The power is in the release. Feel every emotion and allow them to process.
Talk it aloud, to yourself. While having the breakdown ask yourself why am I feeling like this, what has me crying and hurting, how did I get here, what have I been feeling and ignoring, why have I been acting like nothing is bothering me. Make sure to answer the questions honestly. That’s where you’ll get the courage, wisdom, and knowledge to grow.
Wash it away. Have a good hot shower and release it down the drain once you feel you’ve let it all out. This prepares you for the fresh start and good nights sleep.
Sleep and eat. Although you may not feel like it, prepare yourself a good nutritious meal. Get your belly full and enjoy your favorite meal. The act of preparing you something to eat will redirect your mind to something positive and get your creative thoughts flowing. Don’t forget after that shower, sleep. A good nights sleep recharges the body, mind, and spirit.
Make a plan. After the breakdown, you’ve released, and washed it away, by now you have some understanding of where you need to clear things up, get better at, or work on something new. Make a plan on how you’re going to reset and recharge. This gives an instant boost of confidence and self esteem.
Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself you got this. You are a conqueror. Motivate and affirm yourself before going to bed. Remind yourself how confident, smart, loving, and healthy you are.
Forget about it. Tomorrow is a new day. You did what you had to do today to break through. Now it’s time to move on, grow, and learn. This emotional day has prepared you on how to better yourself days going forward. Go laugh and enjoy yourself.

Those are just a couple of reminders to help you through the emotional day and after. The most important is to acknowledge it and don’t run. When we run, we lose ourselves even more. We get further away from who we want to be, how we want to live, and where we want to go. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

20 THINGS I’M GRATEFUL FOR

I’ve heard a million times, one of the best and easiest ways to pick yourself up is to make a list of things you’re grateful for. We are blessed everyday just to wake up. Even if you’re in good spirits and life has you feeling good, it still is a good idea to list a couple things each day that you’re grateful for. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER A daily gratitude journal may be the best if you don’t know where to start. But I thought I’d just make a list of things I’ve been especially grateful for.

a person holding a gray thank you signage

Things I’m Grateful For…

The activity of my limbs
My self awareness and mental clarity
Heat during these cold days
My bed
Food to eat each day
My home
My health (physical, mental, and emotional)
My job
The ability to have this blog
My kids health
Family
I’ve had some amazing conversations with certain clients lately
My friends
My husband
Our marriage
My treadmill
My inspirational journals
My daily cup of coffee
My plants
Love

Those are 20 that I’ve been very grateful for lately. As I continue to grow I notice it’s the small things that makes me happy and keeps me going. Each day you do this some will remain constant and other things will appear on your list. Either way no matter how you’re feeling at some point in the day make a list of a minimum of 3 things you’re grateful for. As you continue to do it you’ll begin to notice you can’t stop thinking of things you’re grateful for. Happy Sunday Funday!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.” -Kyle Freedman

inspirational quote spelled out with board game letter tiles

When we receive criticism or feedback from someone we don’t even know, it effects us more than receiving it from close family and friends. Or taking to heart criticism from someone who hasn’t walked in our shoes, experienced what we’ve experienced, or basically on the same level as us. Just think about how so many people are affected by comments they receive on social media. Before you know it, they slowly change certain things about themselves due to comments. Others people opinion or criticism does not and cannot devalue you. Nothing they say or do holds any kind of weight in your life. What they say, think, or feel doesn’t matter. 6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME Caring what others think or say means we value them, their wisdom, and expertise. You trust that they’ve experienced something similar, received your desired results, and they have first hand knowledge. Furthermore, those that know our story won’t give criticism in a manner that hurts our feelings or makes us feel less than. So the next time you receive unwanted criticism just remember you didn’t ask them for it and let it roll in one ear and out the other. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

We see it all the time, “be good to yourself”, “be kind to yourself”. The interpretation is that it takes a lot of money, fancy material things, or a perfect life. When in actuality it’s the simple daily habits you do for you that is the most beneficial. Trust me, I was one of those that didn’t think the small things mattered. But as I do them everyday and multiple times a day, it is the best free form of therapy. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK

Simple Habits To Be Good To You

Rest. Simple enough right. Living off 2 hours of sleep doesn’t do anyone good. I remember years ago when everyone was talking grinding and getting no sleep. That is nonsense. Your body and mind needs rest to recharge. Give yourself a cut off time for work. Make a day where you do nothing but binge something on the tube. Rest yourself. Everyone will benefit from it.
Take a day off. No longer do I feel guilty for taking a day or even a half a day. Sometimes you just need to unplug and log off. Have a moment without the kids home, or your spouse. Sit in silence and in peace. Use your PTO. Sometimes you just need a break from work. I know the weekend or the 2 days off you may get isn’t enough for me sometimes.
Eat yourself some colors. If you need some inspiration, Pinterest will give you all the recipes you need to expand your pallet and not get bored with the same dishes over and over again. If you can’t eliminate certain foods completely, just cut back. Simply cutting back on sugar, salt, and processed foods will make a huge difference in how your body feels.
Read, journal, pray, meditate. Whatever you need to center yourself, DO IT. There is so much power in focusing our minds on the positive filling up that mental health bank. Daily practices of mental and emotional self care will have your mental health bank so full that when you do need to withdraw from it, there won’t be a dent in it. Find something that works for you.
Don’t compare yourself. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone else’s journey may appear smoother and better doesn’t mean the aren’t walking a bumpy road. Live your journey and only yours. What’s meant for you will find it’s way to you when it’s the right time. Sometimes we can be given gifts at the wrong time in life, and we’ll lose it because we weren’t ready for it and didn’t know how to handle it.
Move your body. Along with eating colorful, moving your body will help eliminate many health problems. I know as I’ve grown I have to get up and stretch because my body just gets stiff. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. But just work muscles and move your body to get the blood flowing better.

Those are some daily good for you habits that can be done anytime. Being good to you, doesn’t require much. You deserve to feel good inside and out. Sometimes no matter what someone does for us, we just have to make our own self feel good. Be good to you. You deserve it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

10 DAILY REMINDERS FOR A POSITIVE MINDSET

I’ve been working on my mental mindset lately. I know everything starts with the mental. What I think I will become. My mind controls everything down to my toes. It’s important to know and understand the power your mind has. Creating a positive mindset and having daily habits to keep it on the positive track will help for more happy days. Unfortunately, we just can’t wake up and say I have a positive mindset. The mind has to be exercised daily.

Here are my 10 Daily Reminders for A Positive Mindset

Keep your expectations low. The more you expect, the greater chance you’ll be let down. Expecting others to do what you do, give what you give, or respond how you’d respond will have you disappointed every time.
Boundaries save relationships. The more we let others cross our boundaries without consequences, the more anger, resentment, and frustration builds toward that person. Boundaries are not only healthy for you, but the other person as well.
You’ve survived every bad day you thought you had. With that sheer fact, you are a winner. So guess what, you can grow and heal through anything.
What you tell yourself matters. Think highly and abundantly of yourself. Instead of saying I am not qualified, tell yourself you haven’t accessed the skills yet needed. The words you tell yourself matters more than any one else’s words. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS
Each day wake up with the expectation that something good is going to happen to you, with you, and for you. Go into each day knowing you’re going to be blessed with something off your wish list.
You are equipped and have everything you need to be the best version of you. You don’t lack anything. You have been filled with what you need. You want to know why? There is only one you. No one has what you have or can be you.
Master the art of remaining emotionally calm. Do not respond emotionally. It will lead you astray. Our emotions are temporary. Therefore, we shouldn’t make long term decisions off temporary emotions.
It is ok to have a bad day. We all are going to wake up one day and just not be in the mood. As long as you don’t let that dictate your outcome. The next day is a fresh start.
Nurture you mind, soul, heart, and body daily. You have to take care of yourself inside and out everyday. Show yourself some love so you can give love and receive love.
Give yourself some grace. Be patient with yourself. You are doing the best you can with what you have.

Those are 10 daily reminders that keep my mental in a state of abundance. Consistently feed your mind with positive thoughts, images, and reminders to build that bank up. So when you do have a bad day, the bank is in overflow and you won’t lack.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.