5 PHRASES TO REMOVE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY

One day I sat back and realized certain comments or phrases I make can be damaging to my mental and emotional health. As I was reflecting one day on the impact of me making a commitment to not complain has truly been encouraging, it lead me to make a commitment to remove some language from my vocabulary . I only want to speak into existence positive goals, values, and affirmations. Also growth. Here are a few phrases I realized I say too often that I need to try to eliminate.

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  • “Is it something wrong with me?” When I feel differently or have a different point of view and I felt it wasn’t received how I intended I would immediately question myself. I had to learn my thoughts, point of view, and ideas are valid, unique to me, and my point of view can help others sometimes.
  • “I’m sorry to bother you.” Whenever I need to ask for help or a question, especially if I feel like I should know it, I would say this. I never wanted to be a burden. But I know that I’m not being a bother, I’m seeking information and clarity on something. It’s ok to ask for help or ask questions when needed. It’s best to ask all the questions you need rather than guess and go down a path of wrong turns.
  • “What I’m not going to do is…” I’ve learned saying this limits my growth. This also puts in the universe that I’m not willing to even think about the possibilities of doing something new, growing or learning. Instead I’ve learned to say that’s something I’ve never done but I can try.
  • “I’m tired.” Along with not complaining, saying I’m tired had such a negative connotation. Yes we all do get drained and just want to collapse. But I do understand at that point my mind and body has done all it could do for that day. Because sometimes I would begin to notice that I wasn’t physically tired but more emotionally or mentally tired from the events of the day.
  • “I know I shouldn’t do this but…” That phrase already sets up for a guilt trip after said event takes place. I’ve learned to make decisions that are good for me. As long as I want to do it, I’m not going to make excuses for wanting to do it.

Those are a couple of phrases that I’ve realized have some negative impact on my thoughts. As we all know our thoughts become our actions and how we feel. Part of healing and growing is realizing what we can do for ourselves to make each day as peaceful and positive as we can. At the end of the day we aren’t perfect but we can try to be as good to ourselves as the day allows. 6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

15 THINGS TO STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR

One of the biggest parts of healing and growing is realizing you have the right to make choices and to not feel guilty about them. Often times, we beat ourselves up for doing things or creating boundaries to protect us because it may not be the most comfortable decision. However, we shall not feel guilty for protecting our peace, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Through my process here are 15 things I had to stop feeling guilty for and give myself some grace.

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Stop Feeling Guilty For…

  1. Eating some ice cream or your favorite dessert.
  2. Not cleaning or doing laundry.
  3. Taking PTO.
  4. Sleeping IN.
  5. Not returning a text or call.
  6. Making a mistake.
  7. Needing help.
  8. Not knowing an answer to something.
  9. Feeling sad or not in a good mood.
  10. Saying no.
  11. Skipping a workout.
  12. Cutting someone off.
  13. Declining an invitation.
  14. Wanting to purchase you something just because.
  15. Needing some comfort or love.

Those are a few things that I had to stop feeling guilty for. I have to remind myself all the time, life is a journey. There will be twist and turns as I travel. With each step I will learn, grow, and become a better person. GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE… Even on the the bumpy parts of the road. That’s when you learn the most about yourself. It is so freeing to be able to make yourself feel good without worrying if someone is going to feel uncomfortable.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

We see it all the time, “be good to yourself”, “be kind to yourself”. The interpretation is that it takes a lot of money, fancy material things, or a perfect life. When in actuality it’s the simple daily habits you do for you that is the most beneficial. Trust me, I was one of those that didn’t think the small things mattered. But as I do them everyday and multiple times a day, it is the best free form of therapy. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK

papers with message hanging on the wall

Simple Habits To Be Good To You

  • Rest. Simple enough right. Living off 2 hours of sleep doesn’t do anyone good. I remember years ago when everyone was talking grinding and getting no sleep. That is nonsense. Your body and mind needs rest to recharge. Give yourself a cut off time for work. Make a day where you do nothing but binge something on the tube. Rest yourself. Everyone will benefit from it.
  • Take a day off. No longer do I feel guilty for taking a day or even a half a day. Sometimes you just need to unplug and log off. Have a moment without the kids home, or your spouse. Sit in silence and in peace. Use your PTO. Sometimes you just need a break from work. I know the weekend or the 2 days off you may get isn’t enough for me sometimes.
  • Eat yourself some colors. If you need some inspiration, Pinterest will give you all the recipes you need to expand your pallet and not get bored with the same dishes over and over again. If you can’t eliminate certain foods completely, just cut back. Simply cutting back on sugar, salt, and processed foods will make a huge difference in how your body feels.
  • Read, journal, pray, meditate. Whatever you need to center yourself, DO IT. There is so much power in focusing our minds on the positive filling up that mental health bank. Daily practices of mental and emotional self care will have your mental health bank so full that when you do need to withdraw from it, there won’t be a dent in it. Find something that works for you.
  • Don’t compare yourself. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone else’s journey may appear smoother and better doesn’t mean the aren’t walking a bumpy road. Live your journey and only yours. What’s meant for you will find it’s way to you when it’s the right time. Sometimes we can be given gifts at the wrong time in life, and we’ll lose it because we weren’t ready for it and didn’t know how to handle it.
  • Move your body. Along with eating colorful, moving your body will help eliminate many health problems. I know as I’ve grown I have to get up and stretch because my body just gets stiff. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. But just work muscles and move your body to get the blood flowing better.

Those are some daily good for you habits that can be done anytime. Being good to you, doesn’t require much. You deserve to feel good inside and out. Sometimes no matter what someone does for us, we just have to make our own self feel good. Be good to you. You deserve it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME

On a daily we worry about things that are out of our control. We also give time, conversation, and resources to people and things that don’t deserve our energy. Hence, we end up disappointed, sad, angry, and frustrated because we didn’t get a return on our investment. Part of self care is realizing and prioritizing certain things that are worth our time and energy. Once we accept and acknowledge our worth, we’ll be able to manage and dedicate ourselves to people and things that serves us good.

clear glass with red sand grainer

6 Common Things That Waste Our Time

  • People pleasing. For some people, no matter what you do or give it just won’t be enough. It will seem as if the goal post just keeping moving. For those that are always requiring more of you, they are lacking in something you can’t fulfill. That is for them to figure out and make peace with. You do what you can within your power and limits. Also do what you want. Just because you have the time and resources doesn’t mean you have to exhaust them out.
  • Proving yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are. What you have, what you make, where you live, your job, or anything else. You are the only one like you that exist in this world. No matter how hard someone tries, they can’t be like you and furthermore, you can’t make yourself into something else. With where you are and what you have to offer, if it’s not good enough then they don’t deserve the air you breathe.
  • Holding on to anger. I was very good at holding on to a grudge and anger. Guess what? That did nothing for my mental and emotional wellbeing. The only thing I kept repeating was, “but you don’t understand what they did to me.” Letting anger go doesn’t mean the action didn’t occur. It simply says I’m not going to let that person or event continuously hurt me. Nor control or dictate how I proceed in life specifically in relationships. Letting that anger go is for you more than the other person. MOTIVATIONAL HEALING: LEARN YOUR SOURCE OF ANGER
  • Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. There is no way on earth anyone can be perfect. Trying to chase perfectionism robs you of your joy and enjoying the gifts you have now. Instead of living in the moment and appreciating where you are, it’s being overlooked. Also when chasing perfection we’re tying to present a version of ourselves that don’t exist. Be you. You are perfectly imperfect.
  • Self doubt, negative self talk, and overly critical. This does nothing for our emotional wellness. Sometimes we think being hard on ourselves is being humble or self motivating. Some of us are conditioned to not even pat ourselves on the back or celebrate our wins. It is very important to celebrate ourselves even the small wins on a daily. Believe it or not, we can put ourself down worst than anyone else. Talk good to you. Build yourself up.
  • Not forgiving. Yes, this is tough. But forgiveness is truly for you. You need to sleep at night. Move on with your life. Learn from the events and situation, so you can possibly see the signs and prevent it from happening again. Not forgiving, says so much about us more than the person that caused the trauma. They have to pay for what they did to you and you can’t say when or how it will happen.

Those are 6 things that I had to learn to let go in order to get to the daily life I envision for myself. With active daily practice and exercises, there will be a point you can live for you and not worry about what others think. However, when you get to that point, don’t stop. Keep doing the affirmations, journaling, prayer, meditation, and therapy that got you there. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you be free.

MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS: KEEPING MYSELF CENTERED

Over the last six months I’ve made a huge transition in my professional career and it has been a challenge finding balance with the schedule. I envisioned this position for a couple of years and now it’s almost as if I’m not really living in that vision sometimes. Trying to keep balance of being a mom, wife, the blog, and other ventures I had to really think, pause and center myself. Think about this new chapter, where I am going, and what I want to do.

sticky notes on glass wall

But first there are some mental health reminders I had to activate and actively practice to get me to my understanding, self awareness, and peace with myself. As we grow and transition in life our mental and emotional health also transitions. It is up to us to be aware and recognize there are some mental health habits that needs more practice, some needs to be substituted, and others we may have to adopt all together.

  1. There is power in honesty. The immense amount of power that you receive when you are honest with yourself can be overwhelming. I’ve come to know the more honest I am with how I am feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally helps me with the next step in recognizing the why. When you own your truth no one can abuse you or use your truth against you. I began to peel back the layers in why certain things were making me feel uncomfortable or why I may not have 100% locked in. Also being honest about what you want to do in life and not feel bad. My biggest hurdle was speaking aloud, even though I had this amazing position with great benefits, flexibility, and support, my heart was still yearning for the dream God placed in me. I’ve heard it a million times, once God places a vision or dream in you, no matter what you do or have, that dream or vision isn’t going to leave you. So now I am at a place to figure how to deliver on what was placed in me.
  2. My happiness has to come from me. No one person, no amount of money, material things, or event can give me happiness. I have to be happy with who I am at this current moment, in this body, in this skin, in this home, with all the blessings I’ve been given. My happiness has to come from me knowing it is ok to dream big, have dreams no one understands, and that they can happen if I do the work. There is no such thing as I’ll be happy when….Everything that you have right now is what you’ve asked for. Now, is it ok to always want to grow, be better, do better and have better, absolutely. I know I have the right to do what makes me happy and I don’t need permission from anyone to do so. I was speaking to a client earlier in the week and she was a mature woman in her 60s. She was retired but substitute teacher part time and show homes for Redfin part time. In the middle of the conversation she says I can work when I want. I’m a little vain, I like to get Botox. She is happy living her life and doing what makes her happy. You have to be fearless when it comes to your happiness.
  3. There is power in writing. Writing down your dreams. Vision for your life. Your fears. Your wants. Your desires. Whatever comes to mind, there is power in writing. I am an advocate for journaling. However, I now know the power in writing everyday. Sometimes I write 2x a day. An hour before work I sit down and write. No plan. Just pen to paper. The thoughts you can purge is gratifying. The prayers and conversation you can have speaking with God and writing your dreams down is powerful. I’ve heard many say writing is therapeutic, they are right. In the beginning I had no idea how to write, what to say, or where to begin. I purchased these amazing Inspirational Journals from the dollar store of all places and I haven’t been able to put the pen down. They are themed scripture based prompts for you to write. I read the verse at the top of the page and write down my interpretation in the spiritual sense, mental and emotional wellbeing, and in my lifestyle. For only $1, each day I can journal my way to peace and happiness. The themes are Truth, Joy, Courage, and Wisdom.

Those are three mental health reminders that I’ve over worked these last several months. My self awareness has afforded me great understanding and healing. Writing has been the best to get my honest thoughts out without judgement or embarrassment. Fearing no one will understand. And my understanding of knowing each day I am on a journey there is no destination to happiness. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s always evolving. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY

Not everyone that comes into your life will be there for a lifetime. Some people are just meant to be in your life temporarily. In fact, most are just making a pit stop into your journey of life. And guess what, that is perfectly ok. There isn’t a reason to get upset, sad, or lose sleep over it. In actuality, even those that are there for a moment, will drop some valuable lessons and gems before leaving.

letter cutouts on beige background

I just had this conversation with my son who’s a junior in high school. He’s beginning to realize some he thought was his friends really aren’t. Those who he thought would be there for the long haul has moved on to another destination. I had to remind him of how valuable and precious he is. Along with the best piece of advice I received when I first went to high school. That was “Your friends you have your freshman year, will not be your same friends your senior year.” That advice the teacher gave me could not have been more true. That statement holds true into adult hood.

As life flows so does we. Experiences and circumstances have us growing in many directions. So the friends you have in your 20s probably will fall off by the time your 30s roll in. When you hit your 40s that lightbulb gets so bright and your circle get even smaller.

The twist is, it doesn’t mean that you have this big fight or falling out. You just out grow some people. As we develop, we walk down different paths that put distance between us. Sometimes we circle back. Other times, we wave from a distance. Either way you’re going to be ok. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

Those that were your friends in the beginning can’t always go with you. As you grow they may not be ready to grow. So sometimes you’ll have to leave them where they are until you guys catch up, if you do. But the worse thing to do is stop your progress because someone isn’t ready to grow with you.

Love yourself enough to be aware and know who is meant to be in your life temporarily. Let relationships be what they are, not what you think they should be or hope to be. Many times we hurt ourselves holding on to some relationships too long. It may hurt letting some relationships fizzle out. But trust yourself and the process. Trying to hold on to a relationship that’s dead will lead to resentment, stress, frustration and loss of happiness. The pain of dead weight is worse than working the pounds off.

Give your authentic self. Know what you want and need out of each relationship you have. Be vocal. Have healthy boundaries. Love and show compassion. Finally having 2 great relationships is better than having 10 one sided unhealthy relationships.

Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

“How does the believe I must be loved by everyone to be happy lead to unreasonable expectations and feelings of depression?”-Unknown

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

looking for a friend bear

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE…

If you’ve been working on yourself, journaling, and seeking help then you’re probably experiencing some changes in how you think or approach situations. You are growing and don’t really know what’s happening. Well growth can look and be different on everyone. However, here are some signs you might be on the up and up.

a woman using a singing bowl while sitting

Growth May Look Like

-It has become easier to set boundaries, implement them, and see them through. You no longer are willing to accept mistreatment for the sake of keeping peace. Also, your boundaries may become stronger and wider.

-You no longer run from your emotions. Lie about how you feel. Or minimize the effect something or someone has on you. Good or bad you sit in your emotions, understand why you’re having the emotion, and grow through it.

-It has become easier and comfortable to talk about how you feel. You seek help or let someone know you need to talk. When someone asks how you’re feeling you are honest and say so. Asking for help can look like getting a therapist, journaling , talking to a friend, inspirational music, or videos.

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-You know what your insecurities are, where they come from, and how they show up in your life. You’ve went to the dark place to figure out why comments, people, or situations get an arise out of you. Then you are wanting to correct those negative habits. That is what growth looks like.

-Your sympathy and empathy for others have shown through. You don’t make judgments or pass criticism on others. You attempt to understand how they feel and why they feel the way they do. Your empathy moves you to motivate and encourage them through their process.

-When you are triggered you no longer respond or react. The work have shown you what your triggers are, why they are there, and how to conquer them. It’s easier to move past an unwanted comment or situation.

-You seek deeper relationships with others and want to present your authentic self. You no longer hide or seek solitude. There are excitement to go out and communicate with others. Also your ability to converse with strangers comes easier.

Those are some tips that will help you to know you’re on the path to healing. Many of these tips I have seen in myself and continue to see growth. When you make progress or notice a change be sure to make note of it or journal your experience.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

9 REMINDERS OF BASIC SELF LOVE TIPS

The key to maintaining a healthy mental and emotional state is to keep it simple. There are some basic self love reminders that are simple and quick that will help in exercising self care. An important point to know is that to maintain a great wellbeing, is it has to be exercised daily. You don’t become mentally healthy and then it stays forever. Practicing small daily habits will help you maintain a positive mindset.

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Self Love Tips

-Be you no matter what. Whatever situation or circumstance you’re in, remain true to you. If you are feeling sad, anxious, nervous, excited, or happy center yourself in the moment.

-Don’t let this moment pass you by without living in it. Accepting the now and knowing you are growing and progressing allows you to understand you better. Living in the moment give you the ability to be self aware. Self awareness is a key to healing and growth.

-Trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself. You know how you feel. Don’t let others opinions talk you out of your feelings, thoughts, or views. Your experience is valid. How you feel is valid. Trust yourself to be yourself.

-Leave the past behind. You can forgive. Of course you won’t forget. However, you can learn, grow, and heal through it. Don’t be bitter, angry, or resentful. Those negative emotions only hurt you.

-Baby steps are ok. Yes, we want to reach our goal or get to our destination, but each step along the way is there to teach us something. Even the bumps in the road are there to helps us for something in the future. One step at a time.

photo of vintage stationery

-Get creative. Don’t ignore your desires, passions, interest and hobbies. It is perfectly ok, to have interest in more than one thing. The key is to not start them all at once. Also make sure you see them all the way through when you start. Even if you find it’s not really your thing.

-Become the person you would want to be around. If you are needing to heal and correct some bad habits, then do so. We all have short comings. Knowing where we need to improve will allow us to be better for our family and friends.

-Be good to your mind and body. Taking care of yourself inside and out is the best free mental therapy you can do for yourself. No matter what you’re feeling focus the energy on you. 10 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY When you put time into yourself you’re processing the emotions and not placing frustrations out on someone else.

-Have fun. You were put on this earth for a purpose and live. Don’t let this life go by without laughing, taking risks, and experiencing joy. You deserve it and have a right to have fun.

Those are 9 self love reminders that I attempt to do on a daily. Not all reminders or habits will be exercised everyday but a couple each day is great practice. Even if you just hit one or two self love tips, you are making progress.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BE YOUR BEST WHERE YOU ARE

This new position has tested me. I went from being licensed in one state to being licensed in 50 states. Is this an opportunity of a lifetime, absolutely, but that comes with a great deal of unknown. I’ve had to sit and be still while the administrative portion plays out. I was being tested and didn’t even know it.

I had a moment where my license weren’t ready in most states. Therefore, I couldn’t perform and do my job. What was I to do? Doubt, discouragement, and a lot of questioning took place. However, I had an light bulb moment. I was tasked to monitor and take notes of another agent. In that moment I realized, Roz you’re being tested.

At first I felt like I had nothing to offer, nothing to do, and it was a waste of my time. But then I turned that into this is going to give me a leg up. I get to watch and hear someone else go through their growing pains. Make notes for myself on what I would do and not do in certain situations.

Next I was able to do what I love to do outside of my corporate job, and that’s motivate. With each call and client I was able to give her positive feedback, encouragement, and pep talk to get her through it. After the second day, I realized what I wanted to do next in this position. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time bonding and cheering on someone.

By the third day, I had a meeting with my coach to give my six months plans. Within a year or so their goal is to have you promoted. Not having my license in and having to monitor another agent, I was able to figure out my next move within this company. QUICK MONDAY MORNING MOTIVATIONAL TIP

Even when you feel like you have nothing to give, the steps God have you taking you don’t see the point, stay the course. Pass the test. Do your best while you are still. It’s going to set you up for your next step in life. No matter where you are, be the best right there. Each step is necessary for you to progress, learn, and grow. Skipping steps or not giving your all will make the journey just that much more difficult.

You can do nothing and be productive. Offering support is being productive. Waiting patiently and excitedly is being productive. Don’t give up because the process isn’t playing out how you think it should. Or if you have a bump in road. Stay the course.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.