” Sometimes happiness looks like staying home, minding your business, telling people no, and doing you.” – Myleik Teele
Please don’t get fooled by social media thinking you have to spend your life savings going on extravagant vacations, wearing expensive clothes, and having the latest IPhone. You can be happy taking a mini vacay to the next town over. Sight seeing, eating good food, and learning something new closer to home. Spending money on the latest trends requires a lot of time and money trying to keep up. No matter what you wear you define the outfit. Find your style and wear it with confidence. Labels doesn’t add value to you. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO Create an environment at home to where you don’t ever want to leave. Not only ensure it’s comfy, inviting, and secure, but make sure your home is safe mentally and emotionally. Declutter, clean, and infuse your home with scents of calm. This will allow for your home to give you a safe space mentally and emotionally. Happiness is being secure in who you are and not worry about what others are doing or what they have. How they live their life isn’t your business. The most freeing feeling is telling someone “no” without giving any explanation. So often we feel we need to explain why we’re declining an invitation, doesn’t want to do a favor, or be bothered. Happiness is simple, calm, and doesn’t require much. Enjoy the rest your day!!!!!
How do I know what my passion and purpose in life is? I have no idea where to begin or find it. The good news is, you don’t have to find it, its already in you. You’ve probably had a glimpse of it more than once. But due to fear, lack of resources, finances, and fear of “looking crazy” to family and friends you probably ignored it for many years just like I did. I too would always ask “What is my purpose?” “What am I passionate about?”
The truth is that, I already knew. But because no one else had my vision, or it seemed far out, I didn’t act upon it, or pursued it. Finally, one day I watched Steve Harvey Motivational Video about finding your gift and knowing what it is. He said “your gift is the thing you do the absolute best, with the least amount of effort.”
So I’m telling you, your gift is the one thing you do without thinking, breathing, or blinking. You do it so well that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. When you are in your gift, you are at peace, smiling, eager to continue, you don’t want it to end, and when it does all you can think about is doing it again. JOURNAL WRITING: 10 QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF Acknowledging or figuring out your gift will help you understand your passion and purpose.
Yesterday I had to admit some hard truths after speaking with a client. She simply called in for some insurance. Upon having a conversation and trying to get information she revealed she wasn’t in the best place mentally due to the death of her father. Without warning I sprung into action, speaking life into her. I totally left the quote in place until we were finish.
For an hour and half, without thinking or remembering I was at work, I poured into her until I can hear a sigh of relief in her voice. Immediately, I encouraged her to not apologize for being emotional. I let her know it was ok to grieve and to do so on her own terms. As I began to pour into her, she began to open up and tell me how she had been trying to deal with the realization of her loved one passing. At one point, she even said “I can’t believe I’m opening up to you like this but I needed this conversation.”
SideNote: Sometimes talking to strangers about your honest and raw emotions is easier than talking to family and friends. You can be as authentic as you need to be to express yourself and feelings. When we sometimes talk to family and friends we tend to hold back because we don’t want the judgement.
That’s when I knew. The more we continued to bond and talk, the more I wanted to encourage, motivate, and support. The more she felt better. Her voice no longer trembled. Her tears began to clear. And she said she feels like she can find a way to live with her father no longer being here in the physical.
After hanging up, I was ready to do it again. Before I knew, I said, “That is what I want to do.” I literally began thinking of ways I can talk to people and encourage them in whatever they were going through. I was jotting down notes and things. The rest of the day my mind was brainstorming and thinking of ways I could do it again and again. Even now I’m still thinking about it.
Yes I have a great cooperate job with an amazing company, benefits, flexibility, and support. But still with that, my heart is wanting to help heal, encourage, and motivate. That’s how I know what my purpose and passion is.
Think of that one time or more than one, when you were completely sound mind, body, and spirit. And you couldn’t wait to do it again. That’s your gift, purpose, and passion.
Stop Overthinking. We all are guilty of this. Over thinking is rehashing the past or certain situations that we wish would have went differently, or have anxiety about a situation coming up. Overthinking stops us from recognizing our blessings, talents, and gifts that we do have. Thus halting our happiness.
Take a risk. Most of the time we are unhappy because the one thing that we want to do, fear has trapped us from doing. When you ask an older person the one thing they regret, most of the time it’s not taking a risk on something. No matter what it is, take a risk. You never know what direction your life will turn.
Run Towards What Makes You Happy. Whatever that one thing is that makes you happy and feel the most alive, don’t stop feeding it. Don’t let other’s opinions stop you. The lack of money. Fear of rejection. That one thing that keeps your heart fluttering will lead you down your path of true happiness.
Create Memories. Have fun and let lose. It’s ok to poke fun of yourself, not be serious, and laugh. Take pictures, document, and create memories. It doesn’t have to be on a holiday, it could be any day of the year. Give yourself something to look back on.
Reinvent Yourself. You don’t have to stay the same or do the same thing. You are supposed to grow and evolve. Change your look, the way you dress, redecorate you home, and work station. A new perspective instantly boosts confidence, self esteem, and happiness.
Invest in Yourself. You are the constant in your life. Invest in yourself often. Be the best you and invest in your appearance. So when you go out, to wherever, you look good and feel good. Invest in your career, home, family, life, and health. You matter as well as your happiness.
Be comfortable now. Yes we want more, and want to grow. But be comfortable with what you have now. Accept, love, and cherish the now so when greater come you’re able to value it like you should. When it’s time for us to have more, that blessing will come. Until then, show God you’re grateful for what he has given you so far.
Give Back. No matter what your family situation is, give back. Whatever your financial situations is, give back. If you’re not feeling great, give back. The love, compassion, empathy, time, and money we give can save someone’s life. In return when we show support our mood and spirits are filled with gratitude. In result, more happiness.
Enjoy family and friends. Unfortunately, there are people who still think they can live in this world alone. Even when the relationships aren’t the best, take the good and leave the rest. We all need community support.
Those are 10 things that makes us live more happier. Start here, be consistent, and watch your happiness grow. Enjoy the journey and healingprocess.
Happiness isn’t a destination. You can be happy in the midst of a storm. You can be happy with $100 in the bank or a million dollars. Happiness is ever evolving depending on the season you are in.
The first thing to do is stop saying ” I’ll be happy when…” That puts in your subconscious you can’t and won’t be happy until you fulfill a certain milestone. Then the goal post will shift on to the next milestone. Your happiness begins with your approach in life and what you believe about the current events you are experiencing.
Happiness is journey not a destination. You can absolutely be happy in an apartment. You don’t need a huge house to be happy. That huge house brings more bills, responsibility, care, and time. We must be careful putting a price on our happiness. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO
You know if I was making more money, I’ll be happier. No you won’t. The more money you make the more you spend. On things that aren’t needed or worth it. You know if I was in a bigger place then we’ll have the space we need. No, you’ll have more to clean. Get creative where you are. Furthermore, there are people on the lowest income bracket living in more peace than those that are in abundance. I’ve seen some amazing home decor in the smallest homes and apartments that looks and feels cozy. While those in a larger home isn’t happy with all that square footage.
Love being single. Will you get lonely sometimes. Absolutely!!!!!! But guess what, those in relationships and married get lonely sometimes as well. Your partner will come at the right time. Be happy with yourself first. Learn you. Love you. Know you. In the meantime, you’ll enter a partnership knowing your boundaries, needs, and wants.
No matter where you are, learn to be happy at that point. Yesterday is gone and we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Alas, we don’t know what’s going to happen 2 hours from now. Just know wherever you are that’s where you are supposed to be. Enjoy the good in that moment. If you can be happy in the small place in your life, when God blesses you with a breakthrough you’’ll be able to handle it. #MondayMotivation
”Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”-Buddha
There are several keys to happiness. Do whatever you want to do. Whenever someone asks me where do I begin, I literally tell them to do whatever it is you want to do or been dying to do. For some of us, this step is difficult and often skipped over.
The key to being happy and not feeling weighed down is living the life you want to live not how others think you should live. We all have received unsolicited advice, opinions, and directions as to what someone else think we should do.
I know many people who’ve been criticized for not working in the field they received their college degree in. What’s it to them? Especially if they aren’t paying your bills, feeding your children, and you don’t work for them.
How many times have you been subjected to criticism because you wanted to change careers, go back to school, or move away. From experience, I moved out of state, and my family feels like I abandoned them, and left the family. Therefore, that is why I’m often treated like an outcast. Did it hurt me when they told me that, absolutely. But I quickly reminded myself the vision I have for my life and my children’s life going forward. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: OPINIONS DON’T DEFINE YOU
The key to being happy in doing what you want to do, is knowing you are doing it for you. You can’t live your life for others. Whether you do it or not, someone is always going to have something to say. As my mother used to tell me when I was younger, “you’re doing something right cause you are on their mind.”
So wouldn’t you rather live happily doing what you want to do instead of being unhappy doing what others think you should be doing? Furthermore, what do you have to lose? If you lose relationships because you choose to live your life, then those relationships wasn’t as solid as you thought. Ok, if you start a new business venture and lose money, that will sour things a bit, but God will always provide and provide another opportunity.
One of my first keys to happiness is doing what you want to do. Most often we are unhappy because we are settling. We’ve boxed ourselves into a position to make others feel comfortable and because ”this is what society says you should be doing”, or this is how it’s always been.
If you are struggling, confused, and feel cornered, push your way out by making decisions to do what you want to do. You don’t just have to be one thing. I love doing many things, yes my college degree is in Business Administration. But I’m a certified medical billing coder, licensed insurance agent, freelancer, and other things. You have every right to connect to every part of who you are.
Have you ever looked up one day and asked yourself ”what am I doing?” Or have anyone ever asked you a serious question to which you should have had an meaningful answer, and your response was ”I have no idea.” Well most likely, you may just be going through the motions of life.
What is going through the motions of life? It’s when you wake up everyday and do what is necessary to make it to the next. There isn’t any thought, purpose, intention, or meaning behind what you’re doing. It’s almost like you’re doing it because you have to, there is no other choice in your mind, and this is your idea of getting things done or taking care of business. You go to work to pay bills. Take your kids to school. Cook dinner and bathe. All to do it over again the next day.
You know you are going through the motions of life when you do the same thing every single day, without blinking. It’s like an automatic robot.
Each movement or thought you have doesn’t have a purpose, meaning, or enjoyment. Nothing you do throughout the day is intentional for your mental wellbeing. The actions you do throughout the day doesn’t add value to your life. It may appear that everything is for survival. You probably don’t enjoy your job but it pays the bills. Most likely the same meals get cooked weekly. Your weekends have no fun, variety, spontaneity, or life to it. It’s all about getting ready to start your work week. What Self Care Is NOT
Another way you may realize you going through the motions of life is you don’t question anything. Meaning, do I enjoy my job? If not, what am I doing in my spare time to get closer to the job of my dreams. When was the last time I did something for myself? Do I have a hobby or interest that take my mind off of things? Have I taken care of my mental health today? Is there a moment in the day where I smiled, laughed, felt good, made someone else feel good, or had a moment to myself. Did I give myself time to breathe, think about nothing, think about what’s next, pray or meditate?
It’s perfectly ok to question.
Why am I going here? How is doing “XYZ” going to make me better, happier, or more money? What is the alternative to ”XYZ?” Do I have another option? How much time will this take of mine? Will this have long term effects on my financial stability? No matter what is required or asked you have the right to ask questions. The more knowledge you have, the better informed decision you can make.
We all have fallen into a slump of just keeping the wheel turning. But at some point, you have to stop and make sure there is intention and purpose behind everything you do.
If you feel like you’re walking around like a zombie and have no idea where you are, then you’re probably just going through the motions of life. Give yourself a break and recoup.
As we now know, self care isn’t just manis, pedis, and masks. You can practice self care everyday anytime of day. TGIF: SELF CARE IS ALL AROUND YOU Here are 5 quick self care tips to refresh and recharge when you need a pick me up.
Make Your Bed I know this seems simple. But making your bed everyday is a quick way to make your room feel tidy. You can leave everything as is, but with a made bed, you’ll feel a sense of productivity. It will give you a clean fresh slate at the start of the day. You’ll feel less stressed and thus, boosts your mood. The best thing to do, is make your bed as soon as you get up.
Clean Your Purse This is somethings that always gets me in a recharged mood. Throw away old receipts. Get rid of that lose change and start that money jar. Money Jar Saving Method for easy saving Toss old candy and wrappers that’s been thrown in your purse. Bonus Tip: A great way to boost mood and increase confidence is to switch out your purses. I know some women do this daily while others like myself do so seasonally. Either way, it’s a great way to improve overall happiness.
Take Your Vitamins We all would love to say we eat 3 healthy meals a day as well as snacks. But that’s just not the case for many. Taking a daily vitamin is a great to boost your immune support and give your body the extra nutrients needed. Set a time and get into a habit where you do it at the same time everyday.
Clean Your Car Out As a mom of 3, I would love to say my car is spotless. But that has never been the case since I started having children. Every so often I’ll go out while it’s nice and the sun is shining, and simply throw away any trash, papers from school, water bottles, and anything else my kids left behind. I wipe and dust the inside. Of course, every so often I’ll take it to the car wash and vacuum it out.
Delete, Uninstall, and Clear Phone If you really want to give yourself a mental recharge, go through your phone and delete any apps that you don’t use. Or if you’d like a challenge delete an app you spend too much time on. Get rid of all those random photos and videos thats taking up storage. Clear any files or downloads. Delete old contacts, conversations, and numbers that doesn’t serve you.
If you’re feeling like you’ve fell into a slump and need a recharge try these 5 self care tips. Any one of the tips can be done any time and any day of the week. Give you a chance by recharging and refreshing your mind.
This week was all about getting as much work done as I can on a short week. My weekly blog intentions have been amazing and I’m learning so much about myself. My goal and intentions this week were to submit as many proposals as possible and land as many contracts as I could. I knew I had to take advantage of the short work week with Monday being a holiday and Friday was my daughters birthday.
Sunday: My week started busy with work, cleaning, and enjoying time with the family. I was still finishing up on a previous contract and I was very excited on how well it went. With each new freelance contract I get, the more confident and excited I get about how far I can go. Of course it was Sunday, so naturally football is always a focal point. All around I felt good going into the week.
Monday: I decided to split my day working from home and going to my day job. My husband took off to be with the kids to allow me to balance both. I knew I wanted to get work done from home and at my day job. I’m more than grateful that we have the flexibility in both our jobs to do so. I was able to hit my goal on submitting as many proposals as I can. In my head, if I submit proposals at the beginning of the week, that will set me up to have contracts by the end of the week. Leading into each week I already have work set up.
Tuesday: Back to business as usual. Routine, school, kids, and bitterly cold at that. Today was the day I wanted to wrap up my daughters birthday plans for Friday. I needed to make sure I had her gift and everything ready to go for dinner on Friday. Though the last two days I’ve been grappling with not wanting to go to the office. I’ve been having this urge to stay home and get more work done at home as to it’s picking up. All while things at my day job have been very slow. But I quickly gathered myself and reminded myself of how blessed and grateful I am to have the ability to create my own schedule.
Wednesday: Was hump day realness. Today I was in tidy up mode. My midweek clean up is the best thing I could’ve done for myself. It gives me a moment to recoup, gather myself and the family, and get through the rest of the week. However, we did have moment of adjustment when we received notification that the kids would be out of school on Friday due to staffing shortages. So thank God first, that I wrapped up my daughters birthday earlier in the week. But now I had to make sure she felt extra special since she was going to be home and not school during the day. This interruption is the reason why I began my journey and setting intentions weekly. Change is going to happen and you have to be able to adapt quickly and take advantage of the positive.
Thursday: There was another quick interruption as a coworker of mine fell ill, and I had to fill in longer than expected. Once again my husband and I made some adjustments at home for the unexpected day out of school. Today was actually my rest day. I decided to order out and just enjoy my evening. That was my self care moment for myself. TGIF: SELF CARE IS ALL AROUND YOU
Friday: My daughters birthday. So because of my coworker being out I had to go into the office. However, my husband decided to take off. Before I left we had a good breakfast as a family for my daughters birthday and I was able to watch her open her gifts. My mommy guilt of going to work quickly went away because I knew she’d be occupied with her gift and wouldn’t be thinking about me. (Yes, I can’t help it, I still get mommy guilt.) I was able to have a great day at work and then come home and enjoy the birthday plans we had made.
Saturday: Of course I’m going to sleep in. This was a busy day as I had errands and finishing up a contract. The only thing that I didn’t get done was repotting my plant and I’ll probably do that tomorrow. I was able do everything I needed to do plus relax and sit down early.
Once again this week has taught me life is going to throw curve balls, its all about how you catch them. If I don’t handle the ever changing days of life then my children won’t be able to adapt either. I’m very aware of how I respond because I know they are watching me.
Setting my weekly intentions, staying on track, and allowing room for adjustment has helped me stay calm and work through everything. If you’re struggling week to week on keeping up or not handling situations that arrive, I encourage you to set intentions at the beginning of the week. You don’t have to be a CEO of a large company to set intentions, goals, or an agenda. You are the CEO of your life and you need to manage it.
As I jump in to create the life I want to live, I like everyone else, have fears, hesitations, and questions. But as I do get the courage and take risks, it becomes easier each time. That led me to a little food for thought. I always ask myself, if you don’t take the risk, then what’s the alternative?
The answer is simple. Either I take the risk and follow my heart. Follow the dreams and desires that is burning inside me. And, lastly, do what God tells me to do. On the other hand, I can continue to sit, make excuses, and wonder about all the what ifs.
We never know what’s on the other side of fear. If we take a risk and stumble, so what. We’re still alive to take what we learned and try something new. Even when we stumble, there is a lesson there. It’s how we get to the path we’re trying to get to.
When I first began my blog, I was terrified. I went back and forth so many times. But one day, I literally said forget it, and jumped on my IPAD and downloaded wordpress. I mean, this was something that had been burning inside me for years. It wasn’t going away. What was my alternative? Always wondering or questioning how far I could be. Every time I hear a quote or someone speak it would spark something in me. Then I’d have to supress it. Worrying about what people would say won’t make the blog happen.
I had this crazy idea of wanting multiple streams of income and being a freelancer was always something I knew I could succeed at. Thinking about the what ifs, didn’t add money to my bank account. The what ifs didn’t postpone my desire to become a freelancer. Time didn’t stop and wait on me. Until one day, I said forget it, I’m going to do it.
Is it a learning process and experience? Absolutely!!!!!!! What’s your alternative? There isn’t a such thing as the perfect time. We will never have everything lined up perfectly how we want. Trying to get all your ducks in a row will only have you saying the same thing next year.
Sometimes we just have to follow what’s in our hearts and let God do the rest. I promise He won’t leave you. If he led you to it, then He’ll bring you through it. TrustGod and trust yourself.
So if you find yourself frozen with fear, ask yourself ”what’s the alternative?” What would happen if you don’t do it? Will it go away? Postponing living for you isn’t going to make the time go by faster. Nor will it stop the desires of your heart.
Whatever it is that you want to do start it today. Fill out the application. Create you an account. Post your first item or listing to sell. Call and inquire about what you need to do that project. Contact your bank to see what options are available to you. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
As I’ve matured, I own and relish in the fact that I’m high maintenance. High maintenance in a good way. There are some feminine daily self care habits I do without even blinking. These habits make me feel good on the inside, keeps me motivated, and helps with my confidence as I tackle the day.
These 9 daily habits ensure I’m always ready no matter what happens, I’m presentable, yet comfortable, and I can put my best foot forward. In no particular order here are 9 daily feminine self care habits for a good day. Daily Self Care Habits To Boost Your Mental Health
Apply Perfume Daily Now I used to be one that wasn’t a perfume girl. However, a couple spritz of perfume gives you the confidence to know you are smelling good all day. It wakens your senses and gives you confidence to stand in your sexiness.
Moisturize Specifically body lotion. Without question after showering applying lotion is a must. I met many women who say they don’t do it everyday. Applying lotion not only keeps your skin moisturized, but it’s the number way to keep your skin youthful looking. Any kind of skin concerns, a good lotion will help. Having a nice soft body and skin, gives you permission to feel feminine and sexy.
Lip Gloss Moisturize those lips. Keep those lips exfoliated and moisturized. Even if you don’t wear lip stick or lip gloss, chap stick is still a ladies essential. Moisturized lips keeps my lips plumped and adds shine to your smile.
Comb Your Hair Daily Seems like a no brainer. But taking 5 minutes to brush your hair instantly boost your self esteem. You care enough about you, to say I’m going to brush my hair back. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but at least when UPS knocks, you look cute.
Clothes That Fit Just because you aren’t going anywhere or its the weekend doesn’t mean you have to be in baggy clothes all day. There are some amazing brands that sell comfy clothes that accentuate your body. While lounging around, cooking, and cleaning give yourself permission to look sexy. It does something to us mentally when we are wearing our husbands hoodies all day. Every time you walk pass a mirror you feel like Blah. Thats not our goal or what we want.
Simple Piece of Dainty Jewelry I’ve made it a habit to wear a piece of jewelry everyday. This took me a while, but the shine and sparkle it gives on your skin is another instant confidence booster. You look good and feel good at the same time. That will motivate you to do anything. Some small earrings of course. But add a dainty bracelet or necklace.
Matching Underwear Now this is tricky. If you can’t match your underwear everyday, then make sure they are cute everyday. No matter what we do, everything starts behind the scenes or internal. You have every right to look good and feel sexy for yourself. If you don’t feel it, then no one else will.
Oral Hygiene Make sure we are taking care of our teeth and gums. Floss and brushing at least twice a day. I’m late to the party but I’ve been loving this Water Pik. I’ve noticed a huge difference in my oral health since incorporating it into my routine. Having a good fresh mouth and clean teeth gives you confidence when you go out.
Focus on Your Hands I have dry skin, so applying lotion to my hands is something I do all day. Keep your hands moisturize and skin plump. I know when I don’t, my fingers look like dried up french fries because my fingers are so skinny already. In the event you have a meeting or need to shake someone hand you can do so confidently.
These are just a couple of girly things I do to keep myself confident. There isn’t anything wrong with being high maintenance. It’s all about what you perceive as high maintenance. As long as whatever you do makes you feel good.
Your self care habits doesn’t have to take an hour. Before you begin your day just spend 15 minutes with yourself making sure you look and feel good about yourself. That will set you up to have a great day.
RosalynLynn
Be you so you can be free.
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