FOOD FOR THOUGHT: WHAT’S THE ALTERNATIVE?

As I jump in to create the life I want to live, I like everyone else, have fears, hesitations, and questions. But as I do get the courage and take risks, it becomes easier each time. That led me to a little food for thought. I always ask myself, if you don’t take the risk, then what’s the alternative?

The answer is simple. Either I take the risk and follow my heart. Follow the dreams and desires that is burning inside me. And, lastly, do what God tells me to do. On the other hand, I can continue to sit, make excuses, and wonder about all the what ifs.

We never know what’s on the other side of fear. If we take a risk and stumble, so what. We’re still alive to take what we learned and try something new. Even when we stumble, there is a lesson there. It’s how we get to the path we’re trying to get to.

If we don’t take action for what we desire, then we will never get to the life we truly desire to live. No one else can live our life for us. MENTAL HEALTH: YOU ALREADY HAVE BEEN VALIDATED

When I first began my blog, I was terrified. I went back and forth so many times. But one day, I literally said forget it, and jumped on my IPAD and downloaded wordpress. I mean, this was something that had been burning inside me for years. It wasn’t going away. What was my alternative? Always wondering or questioning how far I could be. Every time I hear a quote or someone speak it would spark something in me. Then I’d have to supress it. Worrying about what people would say won’t make the blog happen.

I had this crazy idea of wanting multiple streams of income and being a freelancer was always something I knew I could succeed at. Thinking about the what ifs, didn’t add money to my bank account. The what ifs didn’t postpone my desire to become a freelancer. Time didn’t stop and wait on me. Until one day, I said forget it, I’m going to do it.

Is it a learning process and experience? Absolutely!!!!!!! What’s your alternative? There isn’t a such thing as the perfect time. We will never have everything lined up perfectly how we want. Trying to get all your ducks in a row will only have you saying the same thing next year.

Sometimes we just have to follow what’s in our hearts and let God do the rest. I promise He won’t leave you. If he led you to it, then He’ll bring you through it. Trust God and Trust yourself.

So if you find yourself frozen with fear, ask yourself ”what’s the alternative?” What would happen if you don’t do it? Will it go away? Postponing living for you isn’t going to make the time go by faster. Nor will it stop the desires of your heart.

Whatever it is that you want to do start it today. Fill out the application. Create you an account. Post your first item or listing to sell. Call and inquire about what you need to do that project. Contact your bank to see what options are available to you. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

What’s the alternative?

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

TGIF: SELF CARE IS ALL AROUND YOU

So often we think self care has to be difficult. In actuality, self care is all around you. You can go have a bowl of ice cream, because you can. That’s saying I have a sweet tooth and I want a bowl of ice cream. Self care can be as simple as treating yourself to that $5 latte that you haven’t had in a while.

We are expected to wake up to some snow in the morning, so I’m going to self care and find something to binge watch. You can escape for a moment binge watch your favorite show. Laugh and learn something from you favorite character. Self care is all around you.

If you have a favorite lotion, body wash, perfume and you want to purchase it, no matter how much it costs, that’s you practicing self care. Postponing the dishes until the morning is self care. You are giving yourself a break. Turning in and going to bed early is practicing self care. No matter what it is or how small, if it helps you in any way thats self care.

Self care is all around you when you say I’m going to order takeout instead of cooking. When you ask for help you are practicing self care. That phone call you declined, you practiced self care. SELF CARE HABITS: 8 DAILY HABITS TO FEEL YOUR BEST

We all have guilty pleasures, expensive products we like, certain meals we can indulge again and again, and that is perfectly ok. That is our business and how we self care.

So this weekend give yourself permission to do random acts of self care. No matter how small it is, you will have a big reward. Whether it’s mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Yourself will thank you for it.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!!!!!

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HEALING THROUGH PAIN: THE PAIN IS TEMPORARY

In order to grow, heal, and become the person we want, we must endure some emotional and mental pain first. Healing comes through pain. We must first go to the beginning and to the those dark places that we want to forget about. The first step in Healing, is to be willing to go through the pain.

Let’s think about this: We are willing to birth children. Why? Because we know those contractions are temporary. The pain of childbirth is temporary. In our minds, we know we are going to heal in weeks or months to come. All while enjoying the fruits of our labor, our new baby. In that same light, we are only revisiting the trauma temporarily. We are only there to see Why it happened and how we can move forward. Once we get the understanding of the who, what, Why, and how it’s time to leave, heal, and grow.

Once we grow through the pain, the likely hood of going back is slim to none. By this time we’ve learned communication, boundaries, and self worth. In the event, that we do slip up, because we are human, it won’t be as bad as the first time. Our experience, previous Healing and pain, allows us to recognize signs to prevent any situations getting as worse as the first. MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL: JUST LET IT GO

If we think about this in every day life, we are willing to endure temporary pain because we know it’s going to produce the outcome we want. On a daily we get laser hair removal treatments, waxing, tattoos, and piercings. Why? Because it’s going to produce an outcome we want and are willing to endure the pain for. Let’s go a step further when we get surgeries, of all kind. Either to lose weight, enhance features, or to correct an insecurity. Going into the surgery you have prepped, planned, and prepared for the Healing process.

Well guess what, we know what the outcome is going to be if we are willing to endure the pain of emotional and mentally Healing. Having anxiety, depression, or panic attacks are a result of some insecurities or unhealed traumas. The end result is becoming a happier, self confident, developed, and balanced individual. The ability to begin living the life you desire without regrets or fear is priceless. It would be better than any pain paid for.

If you are holding back or attempting to go around the pain instead of through the pain, then I encourage you to tackle it head on. It’s only temporary. Furthermore, it won’t be as bad as you think. The enlightenment you’re going to receive about yourself, others, family, and friends will be so eye opening. Trust yourself and heal through the pain.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HEALTH AND WELLNESS: DON’T SPREAD YOURSELF TOO THIN

One sure way to get overwhelmed is to to spread ourselves too thin. The best way to give yourself a chance is to prioritize, manage your time, and workload. You don’t have to be everywhere doing everything for everyone.

Sometimes we get so burned out because we’ve put so much on our plate. We can only handle so much mentally, physically, and emotionally. We have a tank that can only hold so much. Once our capacity is reached, we get anxious, quick tempered, and make irrational decisions. Everything we worked so hard for falls apart because we can’t carry the load.

Mostly, for us women, we try to do everything for everyone. Going into the new year we have to put at least one thing down. Start with one small thing and realize how better off you become.

Attempting to take on more than we can handle is a symptom of us trying to please others, prove we’re worthy, or doing so out of guilt. All of which says we need to look internally and see our worth. To know that if you carry this load or not, you’re still awesome and amazing.

Just check the load you’re carrying around, probably the majority of it isn’t even yours. Therefore, most definitely you need to drop it. SELF CARE: LOOKS AND FEEL DIFFERENT ON EVERYONE

Think of it this way, if you’re on a no carb diet and someone offers you pasta you will politely say ”no thank you.” In turn, if someone offers, asks, or demand you carry their hurt, pain, guilt, or responsibility you can politely decline. Do so without feeling bad about it.

It will be impossible to carry your load along with someone else’s. Although we think we can, we can’t put a 100% into two things. Which means because you’re trying to fix others your priorities get the left over crumbs.

Going into this new year, make it a point to focus on what you can handle without burden. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, losing sleep, and worried about time, then you need to let some things go.

Remember don’t beat yourself up over people who get upset with you because you can’t do something for them that they can’t do for themselves.

Free yourself from others hurt, pain, trauma, and guilt. Just because they are having a moment doesn’t mean you should join them.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

THE HARD THING ABOUT BOUNDARIES

We’ve heard a million people say set boundaries. But setting boundaries isn’t the hard part. The hard thing about boundaries is keeping them and implementing said consequences if someone crosses a boundary.

I think we’ve all said we’re done with someone or a situation and even knew how we were going to handle it in the future. But when that next time came, we got cold feet. We second guess ourselves. The thought of cutting someone off, give us anxiety. We begin to worry about hurting their feelings. Especially if its a close friend or family member. We begin to question if we’re the one’s being too sensitive or overreacting. Having the guts or courage to let someone know they have hurt your feelings brings you embarrassment. You just don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feather. Or cause a scene. Be the person that ruins the dinner, holiday, or trip.

But guess what, that second guessing is what go us to this point. We know how we feel, we know what we need and want, but refuse to say it out of fear. What if you attempt to implement the consequences and it’s not received? The sad part is we are willing to continue to sacrifice our feelings to spare someone else’s. That’s not ok. Putting your feelings and boundaries first is a for sure way to demand respect in a respectful manner. It’s ok to tell others ”you’ve gone too far.”

The first thing to do when setting boundaries is to let them know if you do this, it makes me feel like this, and therefore I would have to do this to protect myself. Protect Your Peace And Energy Make it clear what the boundary is not to cross. Then be specific of what said consequence is for that boundary being crossed. That way when you do have to take action, it doesn’t come as a surprise.

Next, start with realistic consequences that you feel comfortable implementing and sticking to. As time goes on you’ll develop the confidence to be stronger. We often make the mistake of starting off big because we’re so angry but it sets us up to fall hard. Remember it’s just as equally emotional for you to even create said boundaries with certain people.

In your journey of healing and life, boundaries are necessary. Creating them is easy. But the hard thing about boundaries is implementing the consequence. Start at a place where you are confident to handle and make no apologies for. When setting and implementing boundaries we can’t get cold feet, a shaky voice, or apologize before doing it.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

FEAR IS A WASTE OF TIME

So really quick, this wasn’t a planned post but getting over fear feels amazing. Fear is a waste of time. And I want everyone to take a leap and go for it.

Recently, I had been making goals for the next year. Nothing too extravagant, but I wanted to add another stream of income. Years ago, I found myself being an personal assistant to a broker and absolutely fell in love with that job. I flourished, the office thrived, and I learned a lot about myself. That position taught me so much about business, time management, multitasking, problem solving, and so many other things.

Fast forward to this year, I created a profile on Uprwork just to have fun. Really quick, Upwork is a place for Freelancers to land gigs. I thought it would be fun to do mini tasks, help others out, polish some skills, learn some new skills, all while making a little extra money. Now I had the profile for a while. I would log in, look at potential clients, and talk myself out of it.

For the last couple of days, I’ve had this urge to kick things into gear, challenge myself, and get things started before the new year. So today while I’m at work, I decided to jump all in, and logged into Upwork, and submitted proposals for potential clients. I didn’t think nothing of it. I thought I’d get looked over, and nothing would come of it.

Well within literally 10 minutes, I had offers and contracts to accept or deny. The disbelief was hard to mask. I began to silently panic sitting at my desk. I literally said “what have I done.” It was exciting but I started second guessing my talents and abilities. Saying things like what if they aren’t satisfied and they give me a bad review. Fear is a waste of time.

Either way, I accepted the contract, calmed myself down, and prayed because I was so filled with gratitude. I was grateful for the opportunities and finally having the guts to go for it. For a milisecond, I was mad at myself, like, why have I waited for so long.

I came home, completed the first task, submitted it, and they loved it. 👏🏾That gave me so much confidence I just started submitting proposals to all jobs I had saved but never had the guts to go forward with.

All that to say, you can have everything you want, when you throw fear out the window. Fear is paralyzing, makes you second guess, and is a waste of time. The first thing I said was ”and I’ve been scared for nothing.” Is it scary stepping out on a limb, absolutely. But we must take that step no matter how small it is, to get closer to our goals. KEEP GOING AND PUSH YOURSELF

Whatever it is, that you have been wanting to do, just do it. You never know how it will turn out if you always postponing, talking yourself out of it, and pushing it away. As I encourage myself to keep going, I encourage you to do the same.

The feeling of conquering fear, is liberating. You feel like you’ve lost weight. Conquering fear is an instant confidence booster. You feel good about yourself and have motivation to keep going. Fear is a waste of time.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

GROWTH TIP: YOU CAN LEARN FROM ANYONE

As I’ve grown, there have been many life lessons and takeaways that have stuck with me. The one that keeps coming up as of late, is ”you can learn from anyone.” I think we put ourselves in box when we only focus on those that compliment us.

I had this light bulb years ago when some of my best business advice and life advice came from bosses that may not have had the best regards from their employees. I’ll never forget one time, I was in a meeting and my general manager informed me of a decision he made. In the next sentence he said “it’s not what everyone wants, but I can’t do what everyone wants me to do. I was hired to do a job and that’s what I’m going to do. They have a choice to live with it or not.”

At the onset, you kind of clutch your pearls. But as I sat at my desk, I realized he’s right. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING You can’t make decisions based off your emotions or others emotions for that matter. Just because someone wants you to make a certain decision, doesn’t mean you have to. Because that’s the best decision for them doesn’t mean that’s the best for you. Your emotions will lead you astray. One day you’re happy, and the next you’re sad.

That is all to say, we can literally learn a lesson from anyone. Some of your best life lessons will come from those who have wronged you, misunderstood you, or neglected you. In a sense, we should give a little more attention to those life lessons. They will teach us what our triggers are, what we’re lacking emotionally, and what we need to work on within ourselves.

Get yourself out of the rut by asking yourself what can I learn from what this person said to me. If someone has wronged you, ask yourself why are you offended, what made them feel comfortable saying what they said, and how did my response escalate or deescalate the situation. What does your reaction to certain instances say about yourself. One great way to see where we need work, is to look at how we respond to offenses. It says more about us, than the person who is giving the offense. On the other hand, watching how someone else responds lets you know where they are mentally and emotionally.

These are all life lessons that we can learn from others. Just because you don’t agree with someone, don’t be so quick to throw them away. Take a lesson, grow, and then move on.

The key is to watch, listen, and learn for motivation. Not to compare yourself to another person, condemn them, or demean anyone.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

4 WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE ON THE PATH OF HEALING

We have so much material on how to know we’re suffering from a mental or emotional breakdown. However, there are signs to know when you’ve grown. Here are a couple of emotional wellness tips to know when you’ve grown.

First the things that used to trigger you no longer has an effect on you. You know you’ve grown emotionally when you don’t even realized you’ve experience a trigger that you used to have. The things that used to set you off, get you sad, or make you withdrawn doesn’t even touch you. This means you’ve reached a point to where you acknowledge the trigger, understand it, and let it go.

The second way to know you’ve grown emotionally is you respond with grace. You aren’t mad or upset. The desire to be sarcastic or prove your point isn’t there. You are at peace with the situation or relationship. You can wish them well, be in the same room, and your energy isn’t off. That person doesn’t have power over you. You’ve regained your control back.

Thirdly, your mind isn’t constantly occupied with the what ifs. You know longer think about what could have been. Nor do you think how you should have responded or what you wish you would have said. The idea of being anxious about a situation isn’t weighing you down.

Lastly, you see yourself having more good days than bad days. You find yourself smiling and laughing more. The desire to want to get out, enjoy fresh air, be around people, and move is becoming greater. The feeling of being free and lighter is shown through your body language and smile. Overall, you are happy being you.

The ability to overcome, let things go MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL: JUST LET IT GO, and be at peace is a great gift we can all give to ourselves. However, it is a process and it takes time. Be patient in the process. We all will get to where we want to go.

Those are just 4 things that could let you know you’re beginning to grow. There are many other signs to know you are growing. But if you’re experiencing any of the above, then you are headed on the right track.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

DO WHAT YOU CAN AND FORGET THE REST

One easy and instant way to relieve stress is to stop trying so hard. Simply take it day by day, do what you can and forget the rest. I tell my kids that every morning, ”do your best and forget the rest.” You’re not going to be good at everything. We don’t know everything. And that is perfectly ok.

Many times the reason one may feel overwhelmed is they are trying to do everything at once. If you can only get two things done today then you’ve accomplished something. Be proud of that. Don’t beat yourself up because you had five things on your list today, but the universe had other plans for you. It was only meant for you to get two things done today.

I will say that is one thing I’ve learned and mastered. THE LONGER YOU WORRY, THE MORE TIME WASTED Not worrying about what didn’t happen, what didn’t go right, and what else is left to do. Don’t strive to be perfect, appear to be perfect, or to have it all together. Attempting that will, only stress you to have a face full of wrinkles and dark circles. Do what you can and what’s in your realm of abilities. Everything else will work out.

As of late, I’ve had this saying. ”Only answer the question that is asked.” Literally and figuritavely. Don’t give out or give up more than what is asked. Sometimes giving more, sends you down a path you didnt want to go on. Unwanted expectations from others tend to make us feel obligated. They take advantage of your kindness. It may result in them using your words, information, or vulnerabilty against you. We can’t be everything to everyone. That goes for personal life, relationships, and at work.

Do what you can and forget the rest. Throw the guilt, shame, and apologies out. If you are feeling overwhelmed, weighed down, or drowning let some things go. If you aren’t able to fulfill a request, then say it. Don’t twist yourself into a pretzel to do something for someone that couldn’t do it themselves. If you don’t know how to do something that is ok as well. And if you need to ask for help, please do. You’ll make your life a little easier.

Now have a great day. Do something nice for yourself. Give someone a compliment. Lastly, express gratitude.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WEEKEND AFFIRMATION: YOU CAN AND WILL GET BACK UP

lemon photo on person s thigh

No matter how many times you fall, you will get back up. Don’t ever get discouraged because you have a little setback. SETBACKS, REJECTIONS, AND STUMBLING BLOCKS ARE NECESSARY FOR GROWTH That is how we learn, grow, and heal. On your journey have no regrets about the path you have been taken down. Your path and journey was created specifically for you. As you grow through life don’t listen to the negative chatter about how many times you’ve had to pick yourself up.

The beauty is you’ve had the strength, courage, and perseverance to keep getting up. That means no matter what is thrown at you, you have the WILL POWER in you to live and get back up. There isn’t anything that you aren’t equipped to handle.

No matter where you are or what is going on in your life, you can and will get back up!!!!!!!

Have a great day, week, month, and holiday!!!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.