Healthy Lifestyle · Mental Health · Self care · Spiritual Health

It’s Ok…

It Is Ok

To Cry
To Laugh
Take a day off
Not answer the phone
Eat Cake
Say you’re tired
Feel anxious
To Change your mind
Let go and be done
Feel Sad
Feel Nervousness
Experience an episode of depression
Want to splurge and purchase something
Need a vacation
Want a vacation
Like being alone
Move to another city, state, or country
Switch jobs or careers
Disconnect from the world from time to time
Say No
Say Yes
Ask for what you want
Feel how you feel
Be who you are
Protect yourself…or others
Be different
Look different
Try something different
Want to just do nothing
Be confused
Start over…more than once
It is ok to not be ok

It is OK!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

I AM NOT A EXPERT

Disclaimer: I am not an expert. I am an expert of my life and my experiences. In fact, my degree is in Business Administration. However, in my time on this earth I have experienced some episodes that has brought me here to share, help, and grow with others. I came to a point where I wasn’t embarrassed to say I’m feeling depressed, sad, unhappy with my career, want to hit a reset button, or just in mood.

Once I got to the point of not feeling embarrassed, I was able to share and not go through it alone. The moment I shared my true feelings, I immediately felt 10lbs lighter, realized I wasn’t the only one, and wanted to make everyone feel good and get better. I knew I wanted to and needed to share with others they aren’t alone and its quite normal to have certain feelings.

The biggest mistake we make is not sharing, reaching out for help, or my reason, feeling like we are going to burden family and friends with our problems. So often we have this misconception that once we graduate from college and start a family, every thing is going to be roses. Welp that couldn’t be further from the truth and balancing that in itself is stressful.

After some reflections, I realized there was a period of time, approximately two years, I distanced myself from everyone until I was comfortable and confident enough to present myself as ME. In my distanced time, I reflected on what was making me angry, what I was anxious about in my professional career, what direction I wanted to go in my life, what kind of life I wanted to show my kids, and how I was going to get there.

I literally began speaking honestly with myself, my true feelings, what I wanted, and why I was making the decisions I was. Then I, unconsciously, began speaking them to my husband and once I did that I knew I was coming into me and feeling more confident.

My awareness was at its highest and still is. I began to notice how excited, passionate, and selfless I became when I would encourage others to live for themselves when they expressed to me they are unhappy.

I am not an expert. In fact, there are still times I feel stressed and emotionally drained. Guess what, that is a part of life. It’s how we deal with things thats going to determine what road we end up on. I rely on the tools that got me to this point when I begin to feel some type of way.

Please don’t feel like once you reach a point of ease its finished. This is a journey without a destination. Remembering the why you’re on this journey, what you want to get out of it, and where you want to end up will always get us back on track when we make a wrong turn or hit a bump in the road.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Personal Growth · Self care · Spiritual Health

LIFE…We Only Get One

L-Learn. Read, listen to podcast, and watch videos. If you have a hobby, or interest in something learn as much as you can about it as often as you can. In life, we can never stop learning.

I-Imagine your future and make it happen. You can create and live the life you want.

F-Feel the pain. So often we want to push it away and pretend it isn’t there. If we embrace it and figure out why we experienced that emotion it will lead us to healing and a better version of ourselves.

E-Entertain that crazy thought or dream. If we imagined it, then we can achieve it. The crazier, more far out, and the more scary dreams are, the more rewarding and life fulfilling they will be. Remember we only get one shot at this thing called life.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Self Care: 4 Mental Health Tips

There are many factors that play into the downfall of our mental and emotional health. So many circumstances from family, to work, to relationships, to past experiences and the list can go on for days. But there are some things we do on a daily that contribute to giving others the power of draining our emotional tank.

Stop Explaining Yourself

This is my biggest pet peeve when I see adult women specifically, crushing themselves trying to explain what they doing, where they going, why they chose to go left instead of right, and anything else. It’s even worse when they begin explaining without anyone even asking. Which that’s the first sign of someone not being confident in who they are. To be honest even if someone asked you, you still don’t owe anyone an explanation. If how you move about your life needs to be explained then they’re not on your level because if they were they would already know. The decisions you make for you and your family is no one else’s business as long as it doesn’t effect them.

Wasting Your Time Staying Angry

They were never lying when they said it takes a lot of energy to get angry and most importantly stay angry. It takes so much emotional energy to stay angry that people not only empty their tank but everyone else around them. Let just say when a wife gets mad at her husband the entire mood in the house shifts until she starts talking to him again. Even the kids start walking around on egg shells. You waste time that could be spent doing something productive. Not to mention when you stay that angry for some time you begin to not sleep well, which makes things worse and continue to spiral. At this point every thing including your physical body and beautiful face begin to suffer. It just isn’t worth it. Remember they hurt you once, don’t let them keep hurting you by staying angry. That would be giving away too much power.

Living Your Life for Others

When we allow others to influence our decisions we have given them the keys to drive our life. Letting someone tell you “you’re not ready”, “I don’t think that’s a good idea”, or “don’t you think you should wait a while“ are people that you need to keep at arms length. Those are all manipulative, controlling, and selfish ways people get you to do what they want you to do. Be confident in your journey to know what’s best for you and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Making decisions to please others leaves you as the only one suffering. No matter what you try to do nothing is going to make you happy until you live for you.

Staying in a One Sided Relationship

Having hopes and expectation for someone will get us every time. Also knowing the potential a person could have is the most common reason we constantly give so many chances to those who don’t deserve it. It’s true, when people show you who they are believe them. If the relationship makes you question who you are, what you do, or you always seem to be in a confused state then its time to leave. Our relationships should inspire us to be better people. We should feel so much love and support that we have to constantly give it away to others. With no respect, trust, or communication you’re wasting your time. This goes for our romantic relationship as well as our friendships.

These are simple practices that will save us heartache in our daily lives. The amount time spent worrying if someone understands us, feel we care, or sparing their feelings only wastes our time and drain our mental and emotional tank on empty.

They aren’t worth it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · mental health · Personal Growth · Self care · Spiritual Health

FEAR NOTHING

F-Finish what you started. Turn that thought into ideas to create a plan. Develop those ideas into a project. Design that project into a business. Whatever “it” is that you started or thought about starting FINISH it. It could be school, moving, weight loss goal, changing your hair color, or anything that was placed upon your heart.

E-Explore the world. When we travel and learn about different cultures it allows us to see life differently. It doesn’t have to be overseas, travel to a city or small town you never been to. What do they eat? Where does the dialect come from? We will have a better understanding of people. Of course right now staying safe and healthy is important.

A-Award yourself regularly. It doesn’t have to be something big. But we know you have a family and other responsibilities to take care of, however you should enjoy the fruits of your labor. Each time you get paid do something for yourself.

R-Release any tension, frustration, or aniety you may have. Find a way to let go of what was, what hurt you, or who made you mad. Holding on to that continues to hurt you not them. LET IT GO!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!

So today is my birthday and for the first time since I was a teenager I am speaking out about it. My typical attitude towards my birthday was to not say anything or even attempt to celebrate it. I’ve never been one of those that begin the week before reminding everyone its my birthday and to plan a week long festivities. When people would ask what you want for your birthday I would blow it off and not even acknowledge they are trying to acknowledge me.

I’ve always chosen to keep my birthday for me. I’ve used my birthday as a day to be with myself mostly mentally and emotionally to kind of reflect and use it as a day to set goals.

Last year I made the decision by my next birthday I was going to be in a better place, mentally and emotionally, and would have made progress in living in who I truly wanted to be. I began speaking aloud what I wanted to accomplish by this year’s birthday and what do you know, I’ve made huge milestones. To be perfectly honest with you guys that is the best gift in the world.

Most importantly I began being truly honest to myself in how I was feeling about my professional 8-5 career and what I wanted it to look like. I always had this vision in my mind and in my heart for years but never nurtured it. Once I began to nurture who I was on the inside I was feeling lighter and lighter as the days went on and feeling more free. Each step of the way I became more confident, encouraged, and motivated to continue on my journey of living the life that had been stifled inside of me.

I noticed I began saying more often “by the time I’m 40” I am going to be here, doing this, and have this accomplished. No I’m not 40, I turned 39 today, and yes I’m proud to say my age, but the goals I set for my 40th I know I’m on the right path.

I say all of this to say if you’re one that gets down because your birthday is coming celebrate yourself and how far you’ve come. It’s your day and you get to spend it however you like. It’s never too late to hit the reset button. You can change the course of your life’s direction and be happy. Just because it’s what you’ve always done or the safest doesn’t mean its the best or right thing for you.

Finally it doesn’t have to be your birthday for you to celebrate yourself or reflect. You can do it every day and don’t feel guilty about it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · Personal Growth · Self care

Self Care: Declutter and Make Room for Growth

Right now we live in a world where more is better. We’ve come addicted to having “stuff”. One for sure way to get yourself lost is surrounding yourself with an abundance of “things” or making yourself believe you need more than you need.

I’ve heard the saying a person’s home or car is reflection of who they are. No I don’t mean if they have a messy car or home then they are nasty. Being nasty and just having stuff laying around is two different things.

If you get a ride from someone and they have to clean the seat off for you to sit down then thats how they run their life. In most cases they are always in a rush or just barely making it to work or appointments on time. Even though they have a phone they probably missed the reminder or because their life is so sporadic they didn’t even set a reminder.

When you walk into a person home and if just seems like they have stuff everywhere with no meaning or purpose then that is a reflection of them. They may feel like they have to hold on to things and sometimes its hard for them to get rid of “stuff.” Holding on to trinkets for memories sometimes hold us back from moving on from things that has happened in the past.

If you find you look around and see stuff collecting dust, you don’t use it, or you haven’t wore a certain piece of clothing in a while then get rid of it. Most of the time once we declutter our home, our minds begin to open up. Getting rid of old stuff that doesn’t serve a purpose make room for something else to come into your life that have meaning.

Go through the closet and get rid of those old clothes and shoes that are out dated. You haven’t wore them in forever and saving for a “just in case” event is holding you back. If that event hasn’t come by now then you don’t need it. Most often when that “just in case event” comes you’ll probably go out and purchase something new.

When we declutter our home we renew mind and our new thoughts, ideas come to the forefront. Our creativity is refreshed and we get a new sense of purpose, our confidence is renewed, and we have motivation to push through whatever has been holding us back.

Purging old meaningless things allows us to let go of the past and move on. Holding on keeps us bound to certain events and things that happened to us. Decluttering gives you power to say I’m not going to live in the past and be stuck.

If you’re ready to grow, move on from the past, and renew your spirit get rid of the old and make room for new beginnings.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

healthy lifestyle · Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Daily Self Care Habits

We are living in uncertain times right now. On a daily most of us are feeling an array of emotions. Even those that seem to have it all together and make themselves appear to be unbothered is feeling some type of way. But, we are still in control of what we think and the choices we make. No matter what’s happening around us, there are a couple of things we can do to have a good day.

Wake up Early

Everyone on this planet has the same amount of time allowed to them. It’s up to us on how we manage that 24 hours. One for sure way to get the most out of your day is to wake up early. Waking up early gives you a moment to yourself. You can gather yourself before anyone wakes up. Meditate, pray, and getting in your exercise prepares you mentally, physically, and emotionally for the day. The rest of the day is free for you to work, enjoy time with the family, and do something you’ve been wanting to do.

Call a Friend

Ok, I get being super busy. Being married with three children and both of us work outside the home we have a jammed packed schedule. But guess what, setting a moment to call a friend who I haven’t spoken with in a while not only lifts their spirits but mine as well. Having a good conversation with a friend freezes time and brings you back to earth for a second. We’re all busy but letting someone know you are thinking about them can be a make or break moment that you didn’t know about.

Compliment Someone

Have you noticed when you present someone with a gift what it does to your soul? It lifts your spirits to make someone else’s day or make them smile. Giving someone a compliment boosts their confidence and yours. Giving a sense of worth or bringing a smile to someone else does the same for you. We want to feel good so we should start by making others feel good about themselves.

Listen to Music on Your Way to Work

Listening to a good song on the way to work puts you in a chipper mood all day. The morning traffic or the people that are angry because they have to be up early won’t phase you one bit. In fact your upbeat spirit may become infectious. Feed your mental with matter that brings laughter and light to you, so you can spread it to others.

Drink Lots of Water

What does drinking water have to do with having a good day? Well staying hydrated increases our energy and helps with our metabolism. Drinking water helps our bodily fluids stay in balance hence and we release toxins when we go the bathroom and sweat. If you don’t like the taste of plain water there is a ton of options for you to add flavor to it.

Exercise

Burn some calories and release negative energy. Use exercise to take your frustrations out. Exercising increases our performance not only physical but mentally and emotionally. Keeping your heart pumping and blood flowing gives a head to toe rejuvenation. Literally after a workout you’ll feel more energized.

Put the Phone Down

From the news, to social media, to friends sending you nonsense give your mental a break. Filling up on negativity will send you into a state of fear, depression, and anger. Watch the news for ten minutes and then let it go. Get just enough to keep you informed about what’s going on in the world. Limit your social media intake and what you consume. Don’t get so involved with others lives that you lose sight of yours.

Watch Something Funny

Lately I’ve found myself going for a comedic show. It’s a way I’ve been protecting my mental and getting away from the nonsense that’s going on around me. Laughter is the best medicine. Constantly listening and watching something negative begins to shift your perspective on life in a negative manner. Soon your beliefs become what you’ve consumed.

Expect to Have a Good Day

I learned before I roll out of bed and say to myself today is going to be a good day, I have a good day. Make the decision to have a good day no matter what you encounter on that day. Even in challenging times or events there is something positive you can say about a 24 hour period. Remember you may think the weight of the world is on your shoulders and there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel, but there is someone out there who has it worst than you.

At the end of the day, point intended, we make the choices throughout our day. We can choose the positive road or the negative route. Why don’t we save ourselves heart ache and take the positive route. After all tomorrow is a new day for us to be great.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

mental health · Personal Growth · Personal Relationships · Self care

Girlfriends…Why We Need Them

Ladies stop saying you don’t need female friends. Stop saying you don’t trust them. Your guy friends are great but your female friends are more important and beneficial to you. There are a ton of reasons us as women need a great group of women friends.

First they wear tampons and pads just like we do. They understand the hormonal and emotional ups and down when our “special visitor arrive.”

They inspire us to be great and go after our dreams. Our girlfriends allow us to vent but then they pick us up and make us push forward.

Good girlfriends influence our creativity and we bounce ideas off of each other. Therefore expanding our mind to explore outside of our comfort zone and boundaries.

Motivating each other on the regular boost both self esteem and confidence. Inspires you to be great, help others be great and reach their potential, and all around better person.

Having great girlfriends encourages us to eat healthier, exercise, and take care of our selves. Our mental and emotional health is in great condition. We’re able to be vulnerable and release any negative energy instead holding on to it for days, weeks, or even months.

We travel with our girlfriends, learn new cultures, and experience the world together. We learn how to connect with people who are different from us and make them feel good. In return we receive love, support, and a balance in our life.

Think of our lives as a pie chart, having a good group of friends is a slice of the pie. Yes our husbands, boyfriend, and partners may be our friends but they can’t give us the emotional support and laughter our girlfriends do. Each person in our life provides something different and is needed for different reasons.

Good girlfriends gives us great conversations that no one else can understand. We can hold one another accountable. Having great friends keeps us on the right track and steer us back on when we fall off.

We can be completely honest with our girlfriends without judgement or bias.

If you find yourself as a woman who don’t have female friends or prefer guy friends take a survey of yourself. Think about what you want in a great girlfriend and offer those qualities. What you attract you will get back. But don’t discount or sell your self short thinking you can get by without having great female relationships.

Now the older we get the smaller our friend circle become. All you need is a hand full of core, solid, faith filled, loving, understanding, and stable groups of girlfriends.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Notes I Would Give To My Younger Self

For the last year or so I’ve really come into an understanding of who I am, where I want to go, and live the life I want. As I become more comfortable on this journey and actually see my vision come to pass, there are so many things I wish I had done in my younger years. Below are just a few things I would tell my younger self.

Little Rosalyn

Live In the Moment

In my younger years I always dreamed about my future and what it would look like. When you’re young the only thing you can think about is getting out your mothers house and living the life you want. But I now know literally enjoy each day and what that day has to bring. Yesterday was old news and anything that happened can’t be changed and tomorrow simply isn’t promised. Worrying about what could happen will rob you of the laughter you could have today. Stressing about yesterday keeps you stuck in the past. Most of the time what we’re worrying about is a made up scenario that we’ve created and typically situations always pan out the complete opposite of what we thought.

Always Go with Your Gut

When you’re younger the only goal you have is to make your family proud. That means we make decisions that go against our true desires. While its good to value their opinion and want their support, living the life that’s fulfilling to you would make them more proud to support you. Sacrificing our happiness to please others will fill us with a sense of resentment, anger, and emptiness. That creates another situation because we begin to blame them for “putting” us in that situation.

Whatever Other’s Think About You, Let Them Think It

I’ve come to understand what other’s criticisms of me are has nothing to do with me and is none of my business. With knowing that, it makes it easy to not take it personally. If we focus on what people say about how we should live our lives we would be a ball of mess. The most important thing to remember here is everyone is going to have an opinion. And yes, of course, it’s easier said than done to ignore some harsh criticisms, but remembering they’re projecting their own insecurities will help you brush it off every time. “I walk my journey and take the paths I want, if you want to go a certain path then you can take it on your own journey.”

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

One of the best pieces advice I carry with me is “never fit in, always stand out.” I firmly believe in expanding my horizons, trying something that is out of the ordinary, or taking risks that aren’t common. I love taking a risk because I learn something new about myself each time. Challenging myself and taking a risk increase my confidence, self esteem, and courage to know even if I fall I know I’m going to get back up. It doesn’t have to be something big. You can start small. If I see everyone is buying the same shoes or everyone is going for a certain color, I purposely choose the one color no one wants. It’s scary to put yourself out there on a limb but remember you already starting off strong by having the courage to stand alone.

Let the Chips Fall How They May

Trying to control everything in every situation does nothing but raise your blood pressure. Its impossible to try to control everything and we really shouldn’t. Some situations are better left to pan out how they are suppose to not how we want them to. Often times we work ourselves into a frenzy when how we thought a situation would go, it completely went in the opposite direction. Most often worked out better than we thought.

Don’t Do Anything If You Don’t Want To

If Ros don’t want to do it, then Ros don’t have to.” My father told me that when I was a teenager and that has stuck with me since. So often we do things and make decisions because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or we are guilted into something. We then resent and harvest anger at a person when all because we didn’t have the courage to say “No”. We can easily eliminate putting ourselves in uncomfortable positions by saying no thank you.

I’m pretty sure there are many more notes I would give to my younger self but these are the points I use daily on my walk.

RosalynLynn

Be free so you can be free.