The One Simple Trick to Instantly Reduce Stress, Pressure, and Anxiety

The other day, I was talking to someone who was feeling completely overwhelmed. They were frustrated because a particular person kept calling them for help—again and again. I could hear the exhaustion in their voice, the frustration, the weight of always being the “go-to” person.

I listened, and then I simply said, “Don’t answer.”

Silence.

They paused, almost surprised by the suggestion. Could it really be that simple? Yes. Yes, it could.

Stop the Overwhelm in Its Tracks

The easiest way to eliminate stress in situations like this is to not engage.

If someone is constantly calling you for help, let the phone ring.
If a text message comes through demanding your attention, let it sit unread.
If an email tugs at your time and energy, give yourself permission to reply later—or not at all.

What happens when you do this?

The other person is forced to think for themselves and solve their own problems.
Your mental and emotional energy is protected.
You break the cycle of being the default problem-solver for everyone.

So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, pressured, or stretched too thin, try this: Don’t answer.

Give Yourself 24 Hours (Or At Least 1-2 Hours)

If you feel guilty about not responding, here’s an easy rule: Wait.

If you can, give it 24 hours. Most times, by then, the situation has resolved itself.
If that’s not possible, wait at least 1 to 2 hours. Often, by the time you check in, the person has figured things out. Mastering Life’s Challenges: The 24-Hour Rule

This small shift in your response time changes everything. It teaches people that they don’t always have instant access to you, and it allows you to reclaim your peace.

The Lesson: You Have the Right to Say No

The real challenge isn’t ignoring the phone—it’s releasing the guilt that comes with it.

You are not responsible for solving everyone’s problems.
You are allowed to set boundaries.
You do not have to answer every call, text, or request immediately.

And most importantly: You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

By stepping back, you give others the opportunity to grow, problem-solve, and learn to stand on their own. Your peace is not a sacrifice for someone else’s convenience.

So today, I encourage you: Try this one simple trick. When the next overwhelming call or text comes through, let it sit. Take a deep breath. Release the guilt. And watch how quickly your stress and anxiety begin to melt away.

You deserve peace. Claim it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Navigating Anticipatory Anxiety: A Family Vacation Story

Here we go, family vacations—a delightful mix of excitement, bonding, and, if you’re anything like me, a healthy dose of anticipatory anxiety. I’m about to embark on a trip with my brother and mom. I agreed primarily because my brother really wants me there, and spending quality time with family is self care. But as the weekend date nears, my brain has been running non-stop scenarios about how the trip “will” go down.

teal fujifilm instax mini camera near white ceramic mug

It’s no secret that my mom and I have an, lets say, interesting relationship. She adores my brother and often makes it clear in ways that can poke at our sibling dynamics. So naturally, I’ve been imagining all the conversations and interactions that are sure to happen. It’s like having a Netflix binge-watch marathon in my head, only with way more drama and fewer commercial breaks.

Just as I was spiraling into a mental shutdown, like about to cancel, I stumbled upon the term “anticipatory anxiety.” Bingo! That’s exactly what I’ve been experiencing. Anticipatory anxiety is that nagging worry about future events, fearing that things may go wrong or that you won’t be able to handle what comes your way. Basically, it’s stressing out about stressing out.

Here’s the funny thing: I was having anticipatory anxiety about a vacation! A VACATION. The one time you’re supposed to relax and have fun. It suddenly clicked—I was more worried about what could go wrong than focusing on the potential for a good time. My mother may just decide to be on her best behavior. After all my brother will be there, and she doesn’t say her snarky comments, or be passive aggressive in front of him. She must appear perfect to him.

So, I had a little pep talk with myself: “Get over yourself. Go have a good time. Let her be. Set boundaries if needed, but don’t let your fears, anxiety , and mother for goodness sake ruin what could be a great trip.” I still can have my boundaries that I’ve set in place no matter how close in quarters we are.

Set Boundaries:
Even on vacation, it’s okay to set boundaries. If mom starts to poke, I know how to shut it down at the onset. Leave the room or get in my car and go. And lastly, my favorite, completely ignore and block her out. WELLNESS: EVEN THE STRONGEST NEEDS A BREAK

Stay Present:
Try to focus on the moment rather than what might happen. Enjoy the scenery, the activities, and the quality time with your brother. My main concern is supporting my brother at his event.

Humor Helps:
Find the humor in the situation. Laugh at the absurdity of it all—after all, family dynamics can be pretty entertaining when you take a step back. In doing my healing, I know that she has unhealed trauma. So that allows me to give her some empathy.

Self-Care:
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Whether it’s a quiet walk, a good book, or a quick meditation session, make time for things that help you relax. Not to mention I’ve got pretty good at zoning out to center myself in a room full of people.

So, here’s to the upcoming trip! I’ve decided to embrace the adventure, anticipatory anxiety and all. After all, vacations are meant to be an escape from our daily worries, not an extension of them.

Wish me luck, and if you see me laughing in the corner, just know I’m probably finding the humor in my own overactive imagination. Lastly, I’m anxious to see just how far I’ve come in this healing journey. How I navigate this will let me know where to put in more work. Here’s to a fun-filled, boundary-setting, anxiety-busting family vacation!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Win of the Week: Setting and Maintaining Boundaries

This week at work, I experienced an aha moment. It revolved around a situation where I had to assert my boundaries and make a tough decision, which ultimately led to a valuable lesson in maintaining my sense of self without guilt.

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The situation began when I was asked to take on the task of creating the annual schedule, a job my coworker was supposed to handle. He declined, citing that he had “a lot going on,” but I knew it was more about avoiding the hassle of managing everyone’s preferences and dealing with potential conflicts. I agreed to take on the challenge, partly because I enjoy such tasks and saw it as an opportunity to grow. However, I was clear from the start: I would only do the schedule once. Everyone had over two months to submit their availability and preferences, and I wasn’t going to redo the schedule multiple times.

Setting Boundaries and Sticking to Them

After completing the schedule, I began receiving requests for changes. First, it was about recruiting more people, then adjusting for newly added recruits, and finally, I was asked to add seven more individuals. The whole situation began to spiral out of control, and it became evident that my boundaries were being ignored. I set those boundaries explicitly to avoid the very situation I found myself in, and now, the pressure was mounting.

There were moments when I felt the urge to respond immediately to the emails, but I held back, recognizing that my emotions could cloud my message. Instead, I decided to take a day to reflect. The next morning, I approached my boss and explained my decision to relinquish the scheduling duties back to the chairperson, as per our bylaws. I had completed the task as agreed, but the continuous changes were beyond my initial commitment. My boss supported me, affirming my decision and promising to back me 100%. THE HARD THING ABOUT BOUNDARIES

After sending the email and receiving my boss’s supportive follow-up, I felt a wave of guilt. I worried about causing tension in the office and even considered going back on my decision, thinking that maybe I should just do it since I had the time and skills. However, I reminded myself why I set those boundaries in the first place: just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should or have to. This realization was a breakthrough moment for me. It was a testament to the work I’ve done on myself—building self-esteem, understanding my value, and recognizing the importance of maintaining boundaries without guilt.

This experience reinforced an important lesson: maintaining boundaries is crucial for self-respect and well-being. It’s not about being inflexible or uncooperative; it’s about knowing your limits and protecting your mental and emotional health. Even though I felt guilty, I knew that stepping back was the right decision for me and for the integrity of my work. It’s okay to say no, even when you’re capable of saying yes. Doing so doesn’t make you less of a team player; it means you’re valuing your time and energy appropriately.

This week, I learned that playing my part and not overextending myself is key to maintaining a healthy work-life balance. It’s essential to communicate and uphold boundaries, even when it’s uncomfortable. This experience was a growth opportunity, helping me to stand firm in my decisions and prioritize my well-being without feeling guilty.

For anyone struggling with similar issues, remember: it’s okay to assert your boundaries. You don’t have to do everything just because you can. True self-esteem and confidence come from knowing your worth and making decisions that honor your limits. Let this be a lesson in maintaining boundaries without guilt, and in recognizing that self-care is a crucial part of being a good team player.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

END OF YEAR TIP: ENHANCE PERSONAL GROWTH WITH PRIVACY

We live in a fast paced digital world where sharing every aspect of our lives have become the norm. However, there is an immense power in keeping your life private. Protecting your mental health and emotional wellbeing while being intentional can lead to your personal growth on levels you couldn’t possibly imagine.

Boundaries and seeking validation from others can be exhausting and draining to ones mental health. I had to learn the hard way that even sharing something as profound as a promotion will lead to others counting your money and making assumptions about you. Setting boundaries and keeping certain things private allowed me to focus on my happiness and success without worrying about the opinions of others.

Another thing I noticed about keeping certain things private or only sharing certain things is I get to have some control over my narrative. I told my mom on Christmas Day, if someone says something about me it is completely made up because I don’t share anything. Therefore, if someone says anything your feelings won’t be hurt because you know they pulled it out of thin air.

”Solitude sometimes is best society.”-John Milton

Not sharing your personal business keeps your from looking at what others are doing. Which we all know getting caught up in the comparison validation is detrimental to our mental and emotional well being. One of my good friends recommended “I Hope You Fail: Ten Hater Statements Holding You Back From Getting Everything You Want.” https://amzn.to/3vkJLpB Please read this book if you’re needing more advice on how to stay productive and private.

As the new year approaches do some reflections to see if you need to pull the curtain back on some things. Are there any areas where you feel you need to set some boundaries. Always start small and build as your confidence builds. Once you begin to see personal growth, self esteem, and self improvement you’ll have the motivation to continue pressing on. FRIENDLY REMINDERS I TELL MYSELF

Lastly, being private isn’t about being secretive or keeping secrets. But about protecting your peace, energy, and mind. Setting boundaries and embracing privacy helps us create a safe space for ourselves and others around us. Happy New Year!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

THE HARD THING ABOUT BOUNDARIES

We’ve heard a million people say set boundaries. But setting boundaries isn’t the hard part. The hard thing about boundaries is keeping them and implementing said consequences if someone crosses a boundary.

I think we’ve all said we’re done with someone or a situation and even knew how we were going to handle it in the future. But when that next time came, we got cold feet. We second guess ourselves. The thought of cutting someone off, give us anxiety. We begin to worry about hurting their feelings. Especially if its a close friend or family member. We begin to question if we’re the one’s being too sensitive or overreacting. Having the guts or courage to let someone know they have hurt your feelings brings you embarrassment. You just don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feather. Or cause a scene. Be the person that ruins the dinner, holiday, or trip.

But guess what, that second guessing is what go us to this point. We know how we feel, we know what we need and want, but refuse to say it out of fear. What if you attempt to implement the consequences and it’s not received? The sad part is we are willing to continue to sacrifice our feelings to spare someone else’s. That’s not ok. Putting your feelings and boundaries first is a for sure way to demand respect in a respectful manner. It’s ok to tell others ”you’ve gone too far.”

The first thing to do when setting boundaries is to let them know if you do this, it makes me feel like this, and therefore I would have to do this to protect myself. Protect Your Peace And Energy Make it clear what the boundary is not to cross. Then be specific of what said consequence is for that boundary being crossed. That way when you do have to take action, it doesn’t come as a surprise.

Next, start with realistic consequences that you feel comfortable implementing and sticking to. As time goes on you’ll develop the confidence to be stronger. We often make the mistake of starting off big because we’re so angry but it sets us up to fall hard. Remember it’s just as equally emotional for you to even create said boundaries with certain people.

In your journey of healing and life, boundaries are necessary. Creating them is easy. But the hard thing about boundaries is implementing the consequence. Start at a place where you are confident to handle and make no apologies for. When setting and implementing boundaries we can’t get cold feet, a shaky voice, or apologize before doing it.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

FRIDAY SHORTS: FAMILY DOESN’T GET A FREE PASS

Some of our most difficult relationships are the one’s we have with family. That is mother, father, sister, brother, auntie, uncle, cousin, and even grandparents. Yes, we need family. We need their love and support. Especially when we’ve fallen. Their support and love is yearned for when we accomplish something significant. But what family doesn’t get to do is have a free pass to abuse the relationship.

Family relationships are tricky because we give free passes when they disrespect, use, abuse, gaslight, blame, and shame us. We often make excuses for them. Telling ourselves it’s family, we have to get over it. NO, you don’t. Just because there is relation there, doesn’t mean they get to hurt your feelings without regard. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

In actuality, its hurts so much worse because it does come from family. Family isn’t supposed to do what outsiders do and get away with it. After so many passes have been given out, tensions rise and relationships become fragile. Of course it’s difficult to have a conversation with a loved one. Telling someone you love what they are doing is hurting you, and you need them to stop is tough. Most of us are raised to believe we have to take it because it is family.

Well family doesn’t get a free pass. This is the group of people that you should be able to be the most vulnerable no matter what the situation is. In order to do so, it is perfectly ok to let them know how they hurt you. Family is suppose to be our safe havens. It’s already hard enough in this cold world.

We can create open dialogue and boundaries. Remember even in family we can have boundaries. As a matter of fact, that is the best way to save some of the relationships.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Self Care Mental Health Tips

There are many factors that play into the downfall of our mental and emotional health. There are some self care mental health tips that could help you along the way. The following is 4 practices we do that gives away our power and strength. With consistency and habit we can stop doing to help our mental health.

Stop Explaining Yourself

This is my biggest pet peeve when I see adult women specifically explain themselves. Crushing themselves trying to explain what they doing, where they going, why they chose to go left instead of right, and anything else. It’s even worse when they begin explaining without anyone even asking. Which that’s the first sign of someone not being confident in who they are. To be honest even if someone asked you, you still don’t owe anyone an explanation. If how you move about your life needs to be explained then they’re not on your level. The decisions you make for you and your family is no one else’s business as long as it doesn’t effect them.

Wasting Your Time Staying Angry

They were never lying when they said it takes a lot of energy to get angry, and most importantly stay angry. It takes so much emotional energy to stay angry. Trying to stay angry we use all our gas plus others around us. Let’s just say when a wife gets mad at her husband the entire mood in the house shifts until she starts talking to him again. Even the kids start walking around on egg shells. You waste time that could be spent doing something productive. Not to mention, when you stay that angry for some time you begin to lose sleep. At this point every thing including your physical body and beautiful face begin to suffer. It just isn’t worth it. Remember they hurt you once, don’t let them keep hurting you by staying angry. That would be giving away too much power.

Living Your Life for Others

When we allow others to influence our decisions we have given them the keys to drive our life. Letting someone tell you “you’re not ready”, “I don’t think that’s a good idea”, or “don’t you think you should wait a while“ are people that you need to keep at arms length. Those are all manipulative, controlling, and selfish ways people get you to do what they want you to do. Be confident in your journey to know what’s best for you and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Making decisions to please others leaves you as the only one suffering. No matter what you try to do nothing is going to make you happy until you live for you. Daily Self Care Habits To Boost Your Mental Health

Staying in a One Sided Relationship

Having hopes and expectation for someone will get us every time. Also knowing the potential a person could have is the most common reason we constantly give so many chances to those who don’t deserve it. It’s true, when people show you who they are believe them. If the relationship makes you question who you are, what you do, or you always seem to be in a confused state then its time to leave. Our relationships should inspire us to be better people. We should feel so much love and support that we have to constantly give it away to others. With no respect, trust, or communication you’re wasting your time. This goes for our romantic relationship as well as our friendships.

These are simple self care mental health practices that will save us heartache in our daily lives. The amount time spent worrying if someone understands us, feel we care, or sparing their feelings only wastes our time and drain our mental and emotional tank on empty.