IT’S THE FIRST OF THE YEAR

Well, for me it’s the first of the year. Today is my birthday and I’ve always used my birthday as my “reset” day, beginning day, or milestone day. Every since I was a teenager I’ve always viewed my birthday as a deadline date to do something or start something . I never wanted a big party or extravagant gifts. For me, I’d wake up and make a goal about what I wanted personally for myself by the my next birthday.

A couple years ago, I turned 40 and that was my big day to cut my hair. I set goals on how I wanted to feel, where I wanted to be mentally, emotionally. My birthday is my first of the year. I love spending the day being me. Isn’t that’s what it’s for? To be in peace and completely me. My plan for the day is to wake up, get myself all dolled up, light my new candle, and sit outside and drink my coffee in one of my favorite mugs.

The simple things and the simple life is what I enjoy. I’ve learned to let things go. Let them be what they are. Not worry about what they could have been or what I hoped for. Time is very precious. I know it’s a cliche, but really it is. Just look it’s the middle of August. If I want to do something, buy somethings, go somewhere, eat something, then I’m going to do it. I understand the purpose of living each day. I won’t get them back.

”Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.”- Robert Tew

One of my goals was to be more self aware and emotionally strong. Not take things personally. Be confident in myself. Give myself without depleting me. Being honest in my communication. Standing on my boundaries without being dismissive. Not feeling like I have to explain myself. Being knowledgeable, comfortable, and confident in my decisions. Not seeking validation or approval to live or just be me.

I enjoy my birthday. I own my birthday. It’s the first of the year for me. My goal is to continue my quest of emotional intelligence. Using my path and journey to pour into family, friends, and my children. I feel great and grateful for the mental clarity that God gives me. I like me. I love who I am becoming and hope it’s infectious.

My hope for you is to find your own way of feeling free. Whatever that may look like for you. How do you reset, reflect, and recharge? Do you use January 1 or your birthday like I do? Or some other day?

Be well!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BLOCK OUT THE DISTRACTIONS

Blocking out distractions is something we all have to adhere to at work, at school, or even home. For some, blocking out distractions is a little more difficult. When I was in the 4th grade, at one of my parent teacher conference, the teacher told my mom the only problem she had was every time the door open I’d look up to see who was there. Well, you can say I was curious, nosey, or bored. But if a door opens it’s almost a natural reaction to look up and see who’s there. Well not so much.

Fast forward to now. My youngest son, who’s in the 5th grade, have some kids that seek attention and may disrupt the class from time to time. Well when that happens and the teacher has to give certain students special attention, it throws my son off. He can’t concentrate. He’s upset that they are acting out and interrupting. In the result he has to finish his work at home or it may take a little longer than usual.

“Son you’re going to have to block out the noise.” Simply put. I explainied to him we can’t control other people, their actions, or when some distractions may occur. The only thing we can control is how we respond. We must not let other people actions cause us to lose sight on our task, goals, or job. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS: KEEPING MYSELF CENTERED

Is it tough? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! But mastering the art of focusing on what you’re doing in the moment, completing the work, and staying consistent will allow you to block out the distractions. In every class, at every office, and every store there is going to be a distraction. If it isn’t preventing you physically, harming you, or affecting your mental capacity then it’s not your business to tend to. Every since then he has been able to block out distractions.

Blocking out distractions doesn’t just have to be at work or school. It can be at home. Blocking out negative mental and emotional noise is something we all work towards each day. Those are honestly the biggest distractions. The voices, thoughts, and emotions that we believe prohibit us from functioning on a daily. Block out the noise. Ignore the negative. Don’t feed into the distractions.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SELF CARE IS A LIFESTYLE

I was watching this video and they were discussing how self care is harmful for mental health. I think the misconception is that self care is this “thing” that you have to go find or get. Self care is a lifestyle of habits, tools, and activities you rely on in times of need. You won’t need every tool in the bag everyday. Self care for mental and emotional health is for everyone to cope with daily life.

Also these goals, systems, habits, and activities aren’t just for those suffering from mental illness. If you are a happy and healthy individual, self care is also for you. We all are going to get overwhelmed, drained, exhausted, and burned out. It’s great to have something to rely on and pull out the bag to shake you out of the funk. Sometimes we go on auto pilot and before we know it, life has passed us by and we missed out on some laughter and joy.

These self care activities also doesn’t have to be extreme or expensive. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES You have a great tool already, your phone. You can find great motivation and encouragement on YouTube daily, all day. You can journal on your phone. There are many free ebooks and templates you can download. Podcast are great for those seeking motivation and inspiration. A simple self care habit of reading more, can be done on your phone. Download a good book and read instead of scrolling on social media. We can find great exercise videos, plans, and workouts on our phone.

Simply put, self care is for you to have something custom fit for your mental, emotional, and physical health to prevent the burn out or exhaustion. One small daily habit is all some need. One hour of drawing or coloring by numbers is a great stress relief moment for yourself. Rearranging a room in your home is self care. Cleaning your makeup brushes is self care. Self care is endless. Going to sleep early is a self care activity.

There are many great tips, tools, and tricks that many share that has worked for them. Take what you can to help you and leave the rest. Self care is a lifestyle not a one time thing.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN A BOX

Ironically in the last two days my daughter and I had the same scenario of letting fear keep us in a box. Yesterday I only spoke to my husband about my situation after I worked it out. Then when the same scenario arose with my daughter I was able to give her the same pep talk I gave myself.

After a meeting this week with my supervisor going over a coaching plan he said this is for you when you become a supervisor. Before I knew it I said, “I don’t want to be a supervisor.” He said it’s a very rewarding position and I can see you being a supervisor. I didn’t say anything and we moved on to the rest of the meeting. At the end when we were wrapping up he said again, this is for you down the road when you’re a supervisor. I froze and awkwardly smiled while gritting my teeth at the same time.

Now, I had been very vocal and outspoken on where I wanted to go and the type of position I wanted. But he’s the third person that has referenced me moving into a supervisor role or position. When I got off I had to think to myself. Am I holding myself back? Have I been putting myself in a box? Am I stunting my growth and potential on what I can become? Then I realized I had to stop saying what I don’t want and truly trust God’s plan for me. I said I want to be in support role. He said you’ll be very supportive in this position for your team.I finally said to myself, I’m going to stop saying what I don’t want and what I’m not going to do. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE

Fast forward to my daughters parent teacher conference and her writing teacher was explaining to us that they really wanted my daughter to enroll in an honors course, but she opted out. After many conversations and counselors telling her how good she is and the support she’d have, my daughter still opted out. The teacher and I discussed how we understood the fears a student may have in enrolling in an honor course and may not be ready for that leap.

While on the ride home, I had to let my daughter know what I had just said to myself. I explained that sometimes we allow our fear of failure or not succeeding as we have been hinder us and stunt our growth. We have to believe in the talent, gifts, and greatness that is in us. We have so much potential and can do great things but we put ourselves in a box. Step outside our comfort zone, expand our mind and open up to new opportunities, allow our horizon to expand, and be the great person that we are and everyone sees.

Just because it’s not something you visioned yourself doing or wanted doesn’t mean that isn’t for you. Each step on the journey is preparing us for the next.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

YOUR MIND AND BODY GIVES YOU ALL THE ANSWERS YOU NEED

Most of the time we’re frustrated because we’re seeking answers to problems only we can solve. Every answer or validation we’re looking for is already within us. Our mind, body, and heart has already given us the validation, ok, and go ahead to pursue whatever it is we we’re confused about. If we really think about it, we have the right answer we just don’t have the confidence to take the leap.

brain inscription on cardboard box under flying paper pieces

When we get those butterflies about a certain person, that is our body’s way of letting us know somethings there. If your heart races, you get nervous, and you stumble over your words, then you have all the answers you need to pursue said relationship. On the other hand, if you get tensed, your mood changes, and you’re not yourself when a certain person comes around that is also your body letting you know it’s time to exit.

If we want answers to know if we chose the right position, our body and heart will let us know. No matter how much money you make, it will only sustain the excitement for so long. If it’s truly not what you want to do then eventually your excitement to go to work, perform high, and motivation to learn will diminish over time. The truth is, what’s truly in our heart will always show up no matter how much we suppress it. Our dreams, goals, and desires are ours and no one else’s, it will stay with us for an eternity.

Even when we don’t feel well, our body and mind will let us know. When you have a headache the first thing we have to do is figure out why. Is it a tension heaadache? Are we stressing? When was the last time we ate something good. Do we have a caffeine headache. In other areas, such as our scalp, when I have a sore scalp my stress and tension levels are up. Do you have aches and pains in your belly out of no where. Our bodies are constantly letting us know we need to rest, slow down, practice self care, and take care of our mental.

The next time you have that ache or weird feeling that you can’t describe, don’t ignore it. Or, if you are feeling a little “off”. Don’t ignore it. You know, when something just doesn’t feel right and you’re not quite yourself. Pause for a moment. Take the day off if you can. Do you need to relax? If you’re aren’t physically tired, are you mentally and emotionally exhausted. Do you need to take a break from work? Have you been feeling a little unappreciated lately?

No mater what is going on, your mind and body will let you know where you need to focus. Think of it when you hear a new born baby cry, you have to figure out which cry it is. Hunger, wet, or comfort cry. Listen to your body, you have all the answers already.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

20 LOVE AFFIRMATIONS

This week is all about love. Love for yourself, love for your family, love for your friends, and love for anything that brings you joy. It’s important to begin with love of self. Once we understand how we want to be loved, need to be loved, and know how to love we are able to have better relationships. No matter what your relationship status is or where you are in life you deserve love and are loved. Here are some love affirmations to see you through this week.

Love Affirmations

I am ready to receive love
It is ok and safe for me to accept love
My heart is open to receive love
I am ready to attract loving relationships
I am beautiful
I have something to offer in a relationship
I am love
I am surrounded by love
I feel love in myself
I love myself
I am loved in my relationships
I am a good partner
I enjoy meeting new people
I know what I want
I know how I want to feel and be loved
I am ready to share
I love being in a relationship
My relationships are healthy
I am comfortable being in love
Love is a healing force of energy

Those are 20 affirmations of love to begin the week. Love on yourself each day. 5 REMINDERS ABOUT SELF LOVE Then let that love expand to your family, friends, and coworkers. Love is an action that we must decide to do each day. Even when we feel our worst, we are loved and cared for.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

5 PHRASES TO REMOVE FROM YOUR VOCABULARY

One day I sat back and realized certain comments or phrases I make can be damaging to my mental and emotional health. As I was reflecting one day on the impact of me making a commitment to not complain has truly been encouraging, it lead me to make a commitment to remove some language from my vocabulary . I only want to speak into existence positive goals, values, and affirmations. Also growth. Here are a few phrases I realized I say too often that I need to try to eliminate.

“Is it something wrong with me?” When I feel differently or have a different point of view and I felt it wasn’t received how I intended I would immediately question myself. I had to learn my thoughts, point of view, and ideas are valid, unique to me, and my point of view can help others sometimes.
“I’m sorry to bother you.” Whenever I need to ask for help or a question, especially if I feel like I should know it, I would say this. I never wanted to be a burden. But I know that I’m not being a bother, I’m seeking information and clarity on something. It’s ok to ask for help or ask questions when needed. It’s best to ask all the questions you need rather than guess and go down a path of wrong turns.
“What I’m not going to do is…” I’ve learned saying this limits my growth. This also puts in the universe that I’m not willing to even think about the possibilities of doing something new, growing or learning. Instead I’ve learned to say that’s something I’ve never done but I can try.
“I’m tired.” Along with not complaining, saying I’m tired had such a negative connotation. Yes we all do get drained and just want to collapse. But I do understand at that point my mind and body has done all it could do for that day. Because sometimes I would begin to notice that I wasn’t physically tired but more emotionally or mentally tired from the events of the day.
“I know I shouldn’t do this but…” That phrase already sets up for a guilt trip after said event takes place. I’ve learned to make decisions that are good for me. As long as I want to do it, I’m not going to make excuses for wanting to do it.

Those are a couple of phrases that I’ve realized have some negative impact on my thoughts. As we all know our thoughts become our actions and how we feel. Part of healing and growing is realizing what we can do for ourselves to make each day as peaceful and positive as we can. At the end of the day we aren’t perfect but we can try to be as good to ourselves as the day allows. 6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

15 THINGS TO STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR

One of the biggest parts of healing and growing is realizing you have the right to make choices and to not feel guilty about them. Often times, we beat ourselves up for doing things or creating boundaries to protect us because it may not be the most comfortable decision. However, we shall not feel guilty for protecting our peace, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Through my process here are 15 things I had to stop feeling guilty for and give myself some grace.

Stop Feeling Guilty For…

Eating some ice cream or your favorite dessert.
Not cleaning or doing laundry.
Taking PTO.
Sleeping IN.
Not returning a text or call.
Making a mistake.
Needing help.
Not knowing an answer to something.
Feeling sad or not in a good mood.
Saying no.
Skipping a workout.
Cutting someone off.
Declining an invitation.
Wanting to purchase you something just because.
Needing some comfort or love.

Those are a few things that I had to stop feeling guilty for. I have to remind myself all the time, life is a journey. There will be twist and turns as I travel. With each step I will learn, grow, and become a better person. GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE… Even on the the bumpy parts of the road. That’s when you learn the most about yourself. It is so freeing to be able to make yourself feel good without worrying if someone is going to feel uncomfortable.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

5 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

As I grow and enjoy my journey I’m learning to celebrate the small things in life and appreciate the moments that some may look over. Lately, there are some things that I realize bring me more joy than a piece of cheesecake, my favorite dessert. It’s more important to take a look back each night, week, month or year and appreciate the finer things that brings you joy. Here are just a few things that make me feel whole, comfort, and at peace each day.

Watching TV with my daughter nightly. It has become a ritual these last couple months for us to watch something of her choosing. Or sometimes she’ll get into a program I recorded and want to watch. But this is our way of chatting without it seeming like it’s a task or me trying to get information. We learn from each, get to know each other, and discuss things that probably won’t come up on a regular.
Dropping my kids off at school. I think I look forward to this because it’s my way of sending them off. I get to motivate and pour into them while in the car. I know this won’t last long as they get older and graduate. It’s sort of our quiet time to enjoy each other before starting our busy day and reconvening later in the day.
Monthly salon appointment. I look forward to this appointment because I get to talk to a bunch of women, divulge in beauty talk and products, and leave feeling like a brand new woman. It’s something I do for me that makes me feel good on the inside more than the outside. 9 DAILY FEMININE SELF CARE HABITS TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
New Inspirational Journals. These gems I purchased from the dollar store has really allowed me to purge my thoughts, feelings, and desires without filter. I get to be my true honest self and not worry about being perfect or writing perfectly. After writing I feel lighter and ready to tackle the day. Journaling has allowed me to clear my thoughts for new inspiration.
Daily pampering. Each morning I have to take care of feminine self. Starting with my skincare routine, perfume, and jewelry. Just dolling myself up a bit keeps my spirits up. When you don’t get dressed or doll yourself up sometimes it’s easy to get into a slump. You don’t need a special event to get dressed up or glam yourself.

Those are 5 little things that brings me joy. Focusing on what makes me feel good inside and out keeps my mind open for new positive thoughts. If you’re feeling a little blue, I encourage you to look back at your day and make a list of things that make you feel good. The smallest acts have the greatest impact.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.