END OF YEAR TIP: ENHANCE PERSONAL GROWTH WITH PRIVACY

We live in a fast paced digital world where sharing every aspect of our lives have become the norm. However, there is an immense power in keeping your life private. Protecting your mental health and emotional wellbeing while being intentional can lead to your personal growth on levels you couldn’t possibly imagine.

Boundaries and seeking validation from others can be exhausting and draining to ones mental health. I had to learn the hard way that even sharing something as profound as a promotion will lead to others counting your money and making assumptions about you. Setting boundaries and keeping certain things private allowed me to focus on my happiness and success without worrying about the opinions of others.

Another thing I noticed about keeping certain things private or only sharing certain things is I get to have some control over my narrative. I told my mom on Christmas Day, if someone says something about me it is completely made up because I don’t share anything. Therefore, if someone says anything your feelings won’t be hurt because you know they pulled it out of thin air.

”Solitude sometimes is best society.”-John Milton

Not sharing your personal business keeps your from looking at what others are doing. Which we all know getting caught up in the comparison validation is detrimental to our mental and emotional well being. One of my good friends recommended “I Hope You Fail: Ten Hater Statements Holding You Back From Getting Everything You Want.” https://amzn.to/3vkJLpB Please read this book if you’re needing more advice on how to stay productive and private.

As the new year approaches do some reflections to see if you need to pull the curtain back on some things. Are there any areas where you feel you need to set some boundaries. Always start small and build as your confidence builds. Once you begin to see personal growth, self esteem, and self improvement you’ll have the motivation to continue pressing on. FRIENDLY REMINDERS I TELL MYSELF

Lastly, being private isn’t about being secretive or keeping secrets. But about protecting your peace, energy, and mind. Setting boundaries and embracing privacy helps us create a safe space for ourselves and others around us. Happy New Year!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

THIS IS WHAT FAITH, HOPE, AND BELIEF LOOKS LIKE

As I’ve progressed in my self awareness journey I’ve mastered the skill of being present in the moment and able to receive the messages as they come. If I ever have to question what faith, hope, and belief look like I witnessed it first hand. And more importantly there was action behind the belief.

As I sit and listen to her answer the question “So how is your mom doing?”, her voice doesn’t quiver. She doesn’t hesitate to say “it’s not the absolute worst nor is it better.” She confessed her mother had several mini strokes which led to her dementia. Then she delivered what faith, hope, and belief looks like: She said, “My hope is that mom has a final stroke and she goes in her sleep.”

Now on the surface you would clutch your pearls. But when you believe and have faith, you know living with a loved one who has no quality of life, has pain around the clock, loss of appetite, loss of movement in limbs, lack of awareness of themselves and loved ones, that isn’t the life you’d hope for for them. Yes, we want them around but at some point it becomes selfish. In result, whenever they do transition, we are left with the pain of what their last days reflected. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

As she describes the emotional and physical toll it takes to care for her aging mother that has dementia, she’s still very self aware of her own needs. She told her mom, I have to go out and see people. She refuses to give up her life. Her hobbies, craft and book club weekly meetings. As well as church.

As she was speaking I could’t help but reflect on the countless family members and friends that gave up their life taking care of their loved one. After my grandma transitioned, all the arrangements and services were done, my mom sat at the table and said, “I don’t know what to do everyday.” Why? Because for months she gave up her entire being to take care of grandma.

Even in the midst of grief, her ability to have self awareness, emotional wellness, and boundaries inspired me to continue. We’re going to experience some raw emotions and experiences, but all the while it’s still priority to put ourselves first. No matter what the situation is, we are left with ourselves to move on.

Have faith, hope, and belief. Believe you have the power and strength to do all things and over come all things. Just because you’re having a hiccup doesn’t mean to lack self care. If anything, ramp it up.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HE WASN’T MAD AT ME

After 30 minutes of crying my eyes out and going for a walk, I realized he wasn’t mad at me. One day my brother called me and immediately from hello, I knew he was heated. Now, I’m still being my normal self because in my mind I know it’s not towards me or about me. “Did you know auntie moved to Vegas?” I answered, yes. Well what do I get for being honest.

He yelled, cursed, and went on a tangent about how he’s always the last to know anything. The family only calls him when they want or need something. I’m stunned and confused because it had been more than a week or so that she moved. She told me she was going to call everyone with her new address and information. So I’m thinking to myself, she hasn’t gotten around to it. My aunt had this grand plan to tell everyone because she was hosting Thanksgiving this year.

Well after about 2 attempts of me trying to get a word in, he said “I see how y’all are, if that’s how you want to be, fine!!” He hung up on me. I looked at my husband and we both were confused. Immediately I burst into tears, ran upstairs, put on my walking clothes, grabbed my earbuds and went out for a walk. My husband was trying to catch me but I just had to go. My brother and I have always been close, never had arguments or disagreements, always one another confidant, and I just couldn’t believe he spoke to me the way he did. GROWTH TIP: YOU CAN LEARN FROM ANYONE

Now the old me kicked in for a minute and instantly said I’m not calling him, I’m not answering his calls, and he has done it for himself. But then after 30 minutes it clicked, he wasn’t mad at me. Thank God for journaling, prayer, meditation, and inner healing. Here’s what I figured out:

He was mad at my aunt but couldn’t express that due to ego, hurt, and lack of understanding. Now my aunt and him were like two peas in a pot. They had the best relationship. He was upset because he felt like they had an unbreakable bond and he wasn’t the first person she told. Every time I tried to encourage him to think about it in another perspective, he shot me down.
Which leads me to, when someone has something already made up in their mind there is no way to get them to think about things differently. Especially if they haven’t done internal work to understand their triggers, misunderstandings, and communication.
This is exactly what they mean when they say, don’t take things personally. It had nothing to do with me. He was upset with her and I was the one who answered the phone. My brother is a self admitted people pleaser, he doesn’t like when people think negative of him, and my aunt is the one who was able to get to him. So he felt betrayal probably.
For me, it’s a reminder that you have to remain emotionally sound to ensure you don’t damage yourself, others, and relationships. If I would have reacted and matched his emotions, tone, and demeanor it would have took a turn that would have been difficult to come back from. In the very beginning of the call I was able to recognize he just wanted to get out what he made up in his head and a response wasn’t wanted, needed, or required.
Don’t let others anger, feelings, and misunderstandings change you or how you feel. Be who you are and when there is an opportunity for encouragement and inspiration then give it. It will be received and comprehended when it’s settled.

I had to look back at this exchange and say I’m proud of myself. This allowed me to answer the phone when he called me again, have a conversation, and continue to be brother and sister. The cherry on top was, I told my husband I don’t want or need an apology. I’m ok. I just want him to get to a point where he doesn’t have to people please and prove himself. What he doesn’t realize is, it was more of a reminder for me to continue to do the work.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

IT’S THE FIRST OF THE YEAR

Well, for me it’s the first of the year. Today is my birthday and I’ve always used my birthday as my “reset” day, beginning day, or milestone day. Every since I was a teenager I’ve always viewed my birthday as a deadline date to do something or start something . I never wanted a big party or extravagant gifts. For me, I’d wake up and make a goal about what I wanted personally for myself by the my next birthday.

A couple years ago, I turned 40 and that was my big day to cut my hair. I set goals on how I wanted to feel, where I wanted to be mentally, emotionally. My birthday is my first of the year. I love spending the day being me. Isn’t that’s what it’s for? To be in peace and completely me. My plan for the day is to wake up, get myself all dolled up, light my new candle, and sit outside and drink my coffee in one of my favorite mugs.

The simple things and the simple life is what I enjoy. I’ve learned to let things go. Let them be what they are. Not worry about what they could have been or what I hoped for. Time is very precious. I know it’s a cliche, but really it is. Just look it’s the middle of August. If I want to do something, buy somethings, go somewhere, eat something, then I’m going to do it. I understand the purpose of living each day. I won’t get them back.

”Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.”- Robert Tew

One of my goals was to be more self aware and emotionally strong. Not take things personally. Be confident in myself. Give myself without depleting me. Being honest in my communication. Standing on my boundaries without being dismissive. Not feeling like I have to explain myself. Being knowledgeable, comfortable, and confident in my decisions. Not seeking validation or approval to live or just be me.

I enjoy my birthday. I own my birthday. It’s the first of the year for me. My goal is to continue my quest of emotional intelligence. Using my path and journey to pour into family, friends, and my children. I feel great and grateful for the mental clarity that God gives me. I like me. I love who I am becoming and hope it’s infectious.

My hope for you is to find your own way of feeling free. Whatever that may look like for you. How do you reset, reflect, and recharge? Do you use January 1 or your birthday like I do? Or some other day?

Be well!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

IT’S OK, TO BE OK WITH SOME THINGS

This weekend having a conversation with my aunt about this thing called life, made some uncomfortable “things” come up. By the end, I told her sometimes you just have to be ok with some things. It doesn’t make it bad. It doesn’t make it wrong. IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS Just being ok, accepting, and releasing gives you the opportunity to grow, heal, and be at peace. Here are some things we just sometimes have to be ok with.

It’s Ok…

-To not want to be ok
-To not feel ok
-To feel lonely
-Needing or wanting someone around, or companionship
-Not knowing what you want to do
-If your feelings are hurt
-To feel more than one emotion or one way
-To lose interest
-Want something different
-To seek a different perspective than the normal
-To have thoughts of giving up or quitting
-Gain a few pounds
-Have a setback of any kind (diet, fitness, finances, emotions)
-If something or someone isn’t what you expected

”Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s okay to have a moment of uncertainty about life. It’s a transformative period to find your purpose.”

Those are just a few things that came up in our conversation. No matter how old you are or what you’re doing it’s ok. Sometimes we won’t have all the answers or information. We even may not ever get any or all of it. The only thing we can do is do the best we can with what we have. Everything will work out. In many circumstances it’s better to not know all the answers.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

LIFE IS GOING TO LIFE

I had to take a little break. Rethink some things. Reset my expectations. I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS Basically allowed life to life. I found myself on auto pilot. Just going like a hamster on a wheel. This new position isn’t what I expected, hoped for, or really enjoying for me. So I’ve been doing a lot to give it my all and give it a chance. In doing so, it has caused me to miss time on other hobbies and interest of mine.

blackboard with your life matters inscription on black background

First I made it a point to be intentional about everything I did in a day. One day I looked back and realized by 9a.m. I’m on my third load of laundry. Some will say that’s great. You’re being productive. Yes, I enjoy being a mom and wife. But I’m so much more than that. Which lead me to question can I really have both, a career and family. But I’ll save that for a later post.

While doing laundry, I was also cooking breakfast, rotating the dishes from the dishwasher, straightening the living room, drinking my protein shake, checking the to do list for the day, and getting everyone out the house on time. Sounds good right. Sort of. I became so good at multitasking many things and wearing many hats, by the time I sat at my desk to work my mind was already like “girl give me a moment.”

So now I literally do one thing at a time. I get myself together and come downstairs. Have a moment and drink my protein shake while taking my medicine. Then I’d cook breakfast for the kids. While cooking breakfast I’ll listen to Joel Osteen for some encouragement. After breakfast then I’ll clean up and do any dishes that needs to be done.

Next, I focus on laundry. Make sure the laundry is separated and ready to go. In between time, giving myself permission to sit for a few minutes before drop off. Just taking a moment to breath and just be.

Before work I was also doing too many things. I would finalize and complete any contracts from my freelancing hobby. Manage and list any new items on Poshmark. Respond to messages. Plus try to take notes, edit, and draft a blog post. I had to stop that. Now I schedule time for each. Instead, after drop off, I sit in front of the window enjoying my coffee and the sun or rain if it’s raining.

Lastly, before turning on my computer I would journal for 10 minutes to calm and relax my mind. Me being intentional about everything I do has helped me calm myself. Not feel guilty for wanting to take a break or multi tasking. So often we get multitasking and being productive confused. You can complete one thing at a time and still be productive. As a matter of fact, you’d be more productive.

Even in my evening and night routine I ensure I’m being intentional. I no longer try to cook, fold clothes, clean, watch tv, and then workout. I give myself grace and permission.

If you are struggling to focus. Sleep. Aren’t happy. Feel like you’re on auto pilot. Stressed. Jumpy. Anxious. Empty inside. Numb. Take a step back, evaluate your day and what you’re doing in a day and how much you are doing. Take the cape off. We are human beings not machines. Give yourself permission to slow down. Throughly go through one task. Learn and grow.

You know the eye opener for me was my daughter. My husband and I sat back one day and watched her routine. When they get home from school they’re always hungry. So I try to have something ready or almost ready to eat. One particular day we noticed the plate was on the counter a little longer. We again let her know her plate was ready.

Well she was changing her clothes. My daughter everyday gets out her school clothes. Take her jewelry off and place in the jewelry box in the spaces they belong. Pull her hair out of her face. Freshen up in the bathroom. Then come downstairs and get her plate. Honey she unwinds. I took note.

My night routine I truly enjoy and unwind the day. I have a cut off time for everything. Whatever didn’t get done by that cut off time, oh well. It can wait. I unwind to ensure my mind is clear and my heart is light.

Life is going to life. If you don’t slow down and be intentional it will pass you by. Finding yourself unhappy and unfulfilled.

Are you living intentionally?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

” Sometimes happiness looks like staying home, minding your business, telling people no, and doing you.” – Myleik Teele

Please don’t get fooled by social media thinking you have to spend your life savings going on extravagant vacations, wearing expensive clothes, and having the latest IPhone. You can be happy taking a mini vacay to the next town over. Sight seeing, eating good food, and learning something new closer to home. Spending money on the latest trends requires a lot of time and money trying to keep up. No matter what you wear you define the outfit. Find your style and wear it with confidence. Labels doesn’t add value to you. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO Create an environment at home to where you don’t ever want to leave.

Cozy Day At Home Essentials:

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Not only ensure it’s comfy, inviting, and secure, but make sure your home is safe mentally and emotionally. Declutter, clean, and infuse your home with scents of calm. This will allow for your home to give you a safe space mentally and emotionally. Happiness is being secure in who you are and not worry about what others are doing or what they have. How they live their life isn’t your business. The most freeing feeling is telling someone “no” without giving any explanation. So often we feel we need to explain why we’re declining an invitation, doesn’t want to do a favor, or be bothered. Happiness is simple, calm, and doesn’t require much. Enjoy the rest your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

7 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS FOR EMOTIONAL DAYS

You ever have that feeling when you wake up something is just off? You know, you do everything as you normally would. Nothing in particular happened to you or no one said anything, you just feel blue. 12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH Before, you know it, you’re an emotional mess. Well, those days are normal. We all are going to have those days, more than once. It’s called life. For many reasons such as, lack of sleep, lack of healthy eating, being overworked, packed schedule, not feeling appreciated, lack of exercise, lack of time for self care, and many other factors can cause this “sudden” feeling of emotions. The good news is, once this day is over, that’s it, it’s over. You start fresh tomorrow. The important thing is to live in the moment, have the breakdown, don’t run from it, and release. Here are a few reminders for those overwhelming emotional days.

Have the breakdown. Cry like a baby. Release the hurt, anger, pain, and frustration. Don’t deny yourself the ability to release. The power is in the release. Feel every emotion and allow them to process.
Talk it aloud, to yourself. While having the breakdown ask yourself why am I feeling like this, what has me crying and hurting, how did I get here, what have I been feeling and ignoring, why have I been acting like nothing is bothering me. Make sure to answer the questions honestly. That’s where you’ll get the courage, wisdom, and knowledge to grow.
Wash it away. Have a good hot shower and release it down the drain once you feel you’ve let it all out. This prepares you for the fresh start and good nights sleep.
Sleep and eat. Although you may not feel like it, prepare yourself a good nutritious meal. Get your belly full and enjoy your favorite meal. The act of preparing you something to eat will redirect your mind to something positive and get your creative thoughts flowing. Don’t forget after that shower, sleep. A good nights sleep recharges the body, mind, and spirit.
Make a plan. After the breakdown, you’ve released, and washed it away, by now you have some understanding of where you need to clear things up, get better at, or work on something new. Make a plan on how you’re going to reset and recharge. This gives an instant boost of confidence and self esteem.
Give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself you got this. You are a conqueror. Motivate and affirm yourself before going to bed. Remind yourself how confident, smart, loving, and healthy you are.
Forget about it. Tomorrow is a new day. You did what you had to do today to break through. Now it’s time to move on, grow, and learn. This emotional day has prepared you on how to better yourself days going forward. Go laugh and enjoy yourself.

Those are just a couple of reminders to help you through the emotional day and after. The most important is to acknowledge it and don’t run. When we run, we lose ourselves even more. We get further away from who we want to be, how we want to live, and where we want to go. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO #BE KIND

There have been several incidents over the last couple of weeks that had this question on my mind. What does it really mean to be kind? It literally cost nothing to be kind. We see this phrase #Be Kind everywhere we go, but it can be interpreted differently depending on who you talk to and where.

The waiter at the restaurant serving and making sure everyone have a great meal with their family is only doing her job. It’s not her fault the restaurant is busy and it’s taking a little longer for the food to come out. Being mean, sarcastic, and rude to the waiter isn’t going to make the food come out any quicker. They are doing the best they can making sure the experience is the best.

Enjoy good conversation and uninterrupted quality time.

The young barista making that latte is probably in high school trying to making a little money while being screamed at about how long the lines are. At the coffee shop, orders are made fresh to order, they are specific orders, and have numerous channels of orders coming in. Walk ins, drive thru, curbside pickup, and online order pick ups. It’s not their fault the cafe is short staffed and the line is out the door. They are doing the best they can.

I love me a good coffee. However, I do want my barista to take their time to ensure it’s accurate, hot or cold, and ready to sip.

Yes, it’s Christmas time. We all have so much to do, purchase, and places to be. However, cutting others off, being rude to the cashier, or causing a scene because they are out of stock isn’t going to help the situation.

I literally had an order cancel on me this week after waiting for a week for it to be shipped out. After 3 phone calls they offered me a refund and said it won’t even arrive by Christmas. Thank you for my refund and your time. Absolutely no need to scream. It’s not the customer service fault shipping is having trouble.

Remember when we aren’t having a good day or moment, we want someone to extend us a little grace. Even if it wasn’t the holiday season, being nice takes nothing.

I’ve witnessed some not so nice interactions and it literally cost nothing to be kind. We never know what breaking point that cashier or barista is at. So often many show up to work fighting internal battles and demons. One wrong thing can trigger them and cause them spiral. 9 REMINDERS OF BASIC SELF LOVE TIPS

The more kind we are to others the better we’ll begin to feel. What was angering you, hurting you, or burdening you will begin to feel easier to navigate through. The mind opens up to see situations and circumstances in a different light. The ability to digest, understand, and overcome gets easier. The simplest gesture can go along way. The goal is to make others feel good not feel the same pain we’re feeling.

It takes nothing to be kind. Reset your expectations. Have a little more patience.
That is all I have right now. Have a good night, morning, or day whenever you read this. It was really on my mind all day to say. #BeKind

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

16 THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN SOONER

When I was younger my mom used to tell me “when you get older you’ll understand.” I think we all heard that growing up at some point. Because when we’re teenagers and in our 20’s we know everything right. Well it’s some things that I wished were spoken to me sooner or I’d known sooner. They seem so simple and basic, yet it would have helped eliminate much tension, stress, and anxiety.

Things I Wish I Knew Sooner

-I will be ok and I will still live if no liked me
-It’s ok to say no to family and friends
-It’s ok to speak up, say how I feel, and express myself
-I am the only one in control of my life and career
-I control how my day goes
-Taking a break for myself and mental peace is essential
-Thoughts and attitude can change the course of your day and life
-Keeping my emotions intact and not reacting emotionally save heart ache
-I can start over as many times as I want
-I don’t have to be one thing, I can try and do everything that interest me
-Everything will work out
-No I could not have done more, I did what I was able to do with what I had
-You are suppose to enjoy life
-Sadness will come, bad days will happen, and I will get hurt
-I don’t need permission to feel how I feel
-Being different is good

Those are just a couple thoughts, feelings, and emotions I wish I knew sooner. Of course, when we get older and experience life certain things makes sense. Or, you’re more equipped mentally and emotionally to understand and process. Even now, that they are understood, doesn’t mean you may not have one of the above thoughts. That’s why life and happiness is a journey. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s how we handle the peaks and valleys of that journey. Don’t disturb your peace. Be patient, do what you can, and tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. Be well!!!!!!!