FAMILY AND CAREER: CAN YOU HAVE BOTH?

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Can you have both: family and career. Some says yes and others says no. Both are full time jobs. Due to my husband position I was the one who had to be extremely flexible and sacrifice. With that being said, I knew I wanted to be present mentally and emotionally for my kids. I only have them for a short amount of time before they expand their wings and go on their own. Conversations with those of my generation, one of the common themes was lack of emotional support. Having a parent interested them, their thoughts, feelings, interest, views, likes, and dislikes.

I’ve watched some friends and family members raise their children completely different and saw outcomes that support both.

First we have the one parent that says I have to work and pay the bills. This parent works two jobs. By the time she gets home her children are in bed. She hasn’t seen them since they left for the school bus. She says they’ve text throughout the day and they are ok. Are they really? Also she believes they love hanging out with their friends and they don’t care if she goes to work. But for some reason one daughter is always calling her at work saying she’s sick. She wants her mom to come pick her up and stay with her at home. She sends dad.

She says they have everything they ask for. That’s why I’m working so much. I take them on a vacation every summer. We have a lake house. I have to work and have my life. She’s right. But is there a cost.

Then she says there’s no need to go to parent teacher conference. Her kids aren’t failing. She thinks her kids doesn’t want her at events, they don’t care. She and her husband told their son because they had to work 2 jobs he couldn’t join baseball because they couldn’t commit. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

On the other hand, we have the one who says I’m going to go to every event, game, show, award ceremony my kid have. I’ll live a subtle life to spend time with the kids. They don’t need name brand stuff all the time. She works just under 40 hours and leaves at 4pm because she says getting off at 5pm is too late for her to start her evening with the kids. They have TV shows they watch together. They eat dinner together. She’s the carpool mom and is very inquisitive about their friends and social life.

She says she’s being a concerned mom. She wants to know everything about them and be there for them. Is there a such thing as a helicopter mom?

Yes kids love having “stuff”. But at the end of the day they want mom or dad there. Not necessarily engaging, but available. They want that comfort and security of knowing you’re around. Or else the risk of the kids learning and finding their way without you can hurt them and the relationship.

No one can put 100% in two things. Being present physically, is different from being present mentally and emotionally. Kids really don’t care about the money.

A couple weeks ago my daughter had an award ceremony because she was nominated for Student Of The Month. During this ceremony there were also other awards given for different categories and grades. Sure the ceremony was on a Friday morning at 9am. They had coffee, donuts, milk and water for us to snack on with our kid until the ceremony started. We were able to mix and mingle with the other parents as well.

However, it broke my heart so bad that a couple of kids didn’t have parents to show. These were huge awards that all teachers and counselors voted on for a particular student. They were eating donuts alone. Looking so sad. At one point I even told my daughter to go tell one student to come sit with us. I just couldn’t help it.

When their name were called up, the counselor read the loving note from the teacher that nominated them. They received their award and took photos. The body language and the barely there smile killed me. At some point I heard a little guy say, my mom couldn’t come she had to work.

Yes you have to work. May not be able to get off every time. But unfortunately, the only things the kids see and remember is being alone at some pretty great moments. No material thing can get rid of that.

Of course, family dynamics, finances, and type of career makes a difference.

So can you really have it all? Family and Career.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

ALL IT TAKES IS A SMILE

I’ve watched a ton of videos and read many articles from successful business owners and entrepreneurs. One going theme was they went into business to serve, solve a problem, make someone else life easier, and to give back. Then the financial gain came from that. It’s so cliche, and we see it everywhere we turn today, to be kind and make someone else smile. It’s free to smile, wave, be positive, say thank you, please, and to ask someone how their day is going. In turn, not only have you made someone else feel good, heard, seen, and appreciated, you’ve fed your heart with goodness that will grow. What we put out into the world will come back.

Yesterday when I went to pick my daughter up from school, there’s this teacher out there that directs traffic to let you know which lane to go to. He’s out there rain, sleet, snow, humidity, hot, and cold weather. He waves at every car or parent as he directs traffic. Each day my husband and I go we wave and go to the lane he tells us. Well yesterday, he made it a point to come to the window and motion me to roll it down. He proceeded to say he looks forward to my husband or I coming to pick up, because we always wave and smile back. He said he appreciated us acknowledging him, waving back and making his day. Many parents ignore him waving and just go through the line.

First of all, he’s a teacher and we appreciate him. However, the littlest gesture of appreciation is all we ever need. When someone smile at you, smile back, it’s free and that’s their way of acknowledging you. Waving and saying hello is the easiest way to tell someone you are seen and heard. To ignore them, is rude and says more about you than them.

To know that your hard work and efforts are appreciated gives you the motivation to keep going and to help others. We’ve all felt unappreciated at some point. If not at work, in relationships or at home. How many times have we said, a thank you would do great. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO #BE KIND

So it’s not a cliche. Be kind… to everyone out there. It definitely will be appreciated. The kindness always come back around. If you want to be treated with love, care, kindness, and respect we must give it out in abundance. Have a great day!!!!! #BeKind

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!

Love conquers all.
Love wins.
You deserve love.
Love is a powerful thing.
Love is action.
You are loved.
You are beautiful.
You are amazing.
You are special.
You are a light that brighten up the day.
No one could ever replace you.
You bring joy to your family and friends.
You are talented beyond measure.
You are an inspiration to others.
Love is all around you.
You have the right to experience love.
You are enough.
Love always wins.
Love heals.

Have a great day!!!! Love on yourself today. Give love today. It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale either. 20 LOVE AFFIRMATIONS

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BEING A MOM INSPIRES ME

Being a mom inspires me to be the best me I can each day. I know there are 3 little people looking at me in every move I make. I can fail at every other job I have, but being a mom I will give every bone to this position. God trusted me with these 3 beautiful children to lead. I will do my best to lead with humility, grace, integrity, and gratitude.

Being a mom has taught me how to communicate better. Having a teen son who’s on the very low end of the spectrum encourages me to be patient, articulate, and show through action. A daughter who is in the middle with a bubbly artistic personality brings out my creativity. Meeting her and speaking her language has pushed me outside my comfort zone. My baby who is sensitive, loving, and wants the best for everyone increases my empathy and compassion towards others. SINGLE MOM SELF CARE TIPS: SIMPLE AND EASY

In an effort to pull the best out of them I had to learn how to effectively communicate my feelings, thoughts, views, and love. How my husband and I show love and affection teaches my kids how to love and show affection. It inspires me to give them an living an example.

However, how I speak to myself first they are paying attention. The choice of words, tone of voice, and interactions inspires me to be mindful. How I may think I”m showing up verses what they interpret can be two different things. That inspires me beyond the home.

Being a mom inspires me to go after every dream and goal I’ve had come in my head. I can’t tell them be all they can be, without doing so myself. I don’t believe in do as I say, and not as I do. Children learn from our actions, even the bad decisions and choices we make. Allowing my kids to see me do what I love and live my life, will show them all things are possible. It inspires me to tap into my creative side.

close up photo of a person s hand holding a white mug

Being a mom inspires me to think about things differently. Not only from my perspective, but from others as well. How I handle conflict resolution, discomfort, pain, bad news, financial problems, or any other life matters that arise I keep in mind they are watching. This is where children pay attention the most. How do we handle a set back, death in the family, disagreements, and how we bounce back shapes how they will approach said situations.

Being a mom absolutely inspires my self care. I must be in the best mental shape possible to show up for them fully and give them what they need. Keeping my physical self care visual shows them the importance of taking care of their temple. Having my “me time” as a mom, allows everyone to feel free to take a moment. Budgeting and planning gives them financial literacy early.

Lastly, being a mom inspires me to give back. Even when it’s my last of anything, showing grace and gratitude will always come back. Everything isn’t about me and neither in life. Most importantly, giving time, love, and an lending ear is more valuable than any dollar. #MothersDay2022

I hope you are inspired where ever you are!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WEEKLY BLOG: BACK TO SCHOOL, LOTS OF CATCHING UP, SONIC MOVIE

”Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf.”-Jonatan Martensson

This week I’m am focused on catching up with some contracts, proposals, and listings. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been emotionally drained. My mother had an out patient procedure done. She’s home and recovering well. So now I’m jumping back into the sack and plus the kids were on spring break last week.

Sunday: Night 2 of Wrestlemania. My son and husband are huge wrestling fans. Wrestlemania is always a big deal in our home. Because we stayed up late for night 1, we slept in. As usual, have a big family breakfast, I worked out early, and got the kids ready. The pre-show started at 5p.m. After working out, we opted for a finger food dinner and watched Wrestlemania until late night. We enjoyed the show and headed off to bed afterwards.

Monday: Back to business. It’s always hard getting the kids back into gear after a long week of staying up and sleeping in. But the morning went off without a hitch. Work is a roller coaster because we have a agent that’s leaving. The plus side is we’re slow right now so the transition is going ok. After school we had dinner early and the kids relaxed. Because it was so pretty out, I had to go for a walk. We wanted to turn in early because the NCAA championship game was coming on. Late into the evening we stayed up until the game went off.

Tuesday: Staying up late the last two nights has me very sluggish in the morning. But I’ll take the moments when I can. It’s ACT testing day and my son is headed off and ready to go. The morning routine went well even though it was rainy and dreary out. Work was steady and peaceful. The quiet time at the office I’ve been using to send out proposals and manage my listings on Poshmark. The rain subsided, so the day turned out to be nice and breezy. Although I said I was going to give my legs a break I’m going to head for a quick walk. Capped the evening off with posting more listings on Poshmark.

Wednesday: I had a little interruption in my morning routine. My annual wellness visit to the doctor was rescheduled for 8am today. Handle Your Business…Go To The Doctor So the hubs and I had to split drop off. The doc visit went very well and glad I was able to get it over with. Heading to the office it’s very windy and cool out. I wasn’t busy at all today which left me time to work on scheduling interviews for some freelance contracts. (This is how you work a side hustle. Use your time wisely. It can be done.) I decided to take the evening off and give my body a break from working out. The evening was very chill. After dinner I worked a little bit, had a cup of tea, and channel surfed. We will have a long day tomorrow because we’re catching an early screening of the new Sonic movie. My son is a huge fan of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Thursday: MOVIE NIGHT!!!!!! My son is super excited to go to this Sonic movie. But business is first. Morning routine went off great. My hubs went in later in the morning so he was able to join me on the drop off. Of course, we stopped at our favorite cafe to have coffee and a quick bite to eat before we head off to work. However, I made a pit stop home to do some final edits and publish 3 NEWLYWED SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE real quick. After work we had dinner and only 2hours before heading out to the movies. The movie was amazing. We all loved it. Afterwards grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed home. Everyone was ready to shower and go to bed. My daughter has art club in the morning so we have to wake up extra early.

Friday: We made it another week. The morning started extra early because we had to get to art club before school. Stayed up kinda late doing some contracts and more proposals. I said I wanted to get more listings posted on Poshmark and send out as many proposals as possible, and I’ve accomplished both. It’s kinda of cold and dreary this morning. What do you know, we woke up to a little snow. But it quickly subsided. There really isn’t much planned for this weekend. Relax and resetting. The evening turned out quiet, slow, and peaceful. We all came in got comfy and relaxed.

Saturday: This was a great Saturday as my husband says. We had breakfast and literally relaxed the rest of the day. Although it was sunny out, it was still quite cool. None of us wanted to go out. My husband had to go to his store for a couple hours. After that, he joined me in Netflix and chill. I found a good show to binge watch and enjoy. Late night, I did a quick tidy up before showering and bed. I was happy to relax and reset. I accomplished what I wanted in pumping our proposal’s and contracts.

Have a great week everyone.

P.S. Weekly blog is designed to show the realistic life of a working mom, balancing life, family, and myself.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

3 NEWLYWED SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE

Now that I’ve been married for 16 years this September, I can honestly say it’s been a ride. A good ride, but there were some mistakes I made as a newlywed. Honestly, so many men and women make mistakes as newlyweds. It’s the growth and journey that makes it worth it. Here are 3 newlywed mistakes I made. 3 SELF CARE MISTAKES I MADE AS A STAY AT HOME MOM

Making Myself Too Available
Starting off, I wanted to make our bond, relationship, and unit as strong as possible. Going in, we both fell into our ”role” and mine was the super homemaker while he provided financially. My everyday routine and life was dedicated to ensure he didn’t have to lift a finger. There wasn’t anything for him to worry about. Even when he came home I was all ears on how his long day went. I watched whatever it is he watched to spend time with him, get interested in his interest, and to have someone to talk to. Although I was doing what I thought a wife should be, my mental and emotional needs was placed on the back burner. I felt like because I didn’t work outside the home I didn’t deserve anything. Not even a tube of lipstick.

Sometimes I would deliver him lunch at work when he wanted it. But then when I did get the guts to want to do something it was like lightening struck. He didn’t know what to do when I wasn’t there. I made him so comfortable that it was becoming codependent. One day talking to my brother he said ”stop making yourself too available”. I had never thought about it that way. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to as a wife. Now years later we have this thing figured out. When I tell him I need a break, order pizza, and figure it out for yourself, he gets it. He does whatever he needs to ensure I’m ok.

Put The Kids First
So once again I thought (or we both) top priority was taking care of the kids. Giving them the life we desired them to have. Going above and beyond to provide. There was a point I went back to school for my medical billing coding certification. The professor asked us, “who was the most important person in my life.” Without hesitation , I said my kids. He immediately responded with shock and said, ”I thought you’d say your husband.” In my head, and my husbands, we put the kids first over everything.

Well now I understand why it’s important to put your spouse first. The kids are going to be loved and cared for no matter what. But my husband was there first and he is the reason I have kids. Now we make sure to put our marriage and relationship first. We have our date nights, tell the kids we need some time together , and got rid of the guilt. We used to feel so guilty for doing something for ourselves. The kids are fine. Actually it’s better and healthy for them to see mommy and daddy loving on each other. Now they tell us go out and have a date we’ll be fine.

I Lost Me
I completely gave up everything. My dreams, hopes, and desires. Mom and wife was my title and I couldn’t have anything else. So I thought. Whatever I wanted to do, create, or start I forgot about and convinced myself I couldn’t do it. Something as simple as voicing what I wanted to eat became, ”whatever you guys want I’ll eat.” My sense of individuality was gone.

I did the bare minimum when it came to my appearance. I didn’t play in makeup, workout as much, watch my diet, read, write, or any other hobbies I desired. Don’t get me wrong, I dreamed like crazy. It was burning inside me, but I didn’t pursue anything. Now I completely made up for it, because when I did start I dabbled in everything. It makes for a better relationship and marriage.

Those are just 3 mistakes that I made in the beginning of my marriage. We have this idea or is taught to be a certain way. When the right way is what you and your partner decides. Just like life, marriage is a journey. Who you were at the beginning isn’t who you are year 3, year 7, or year 15. It’s about growth, communication, and understanding it’s a never ending road.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!! How do you love yourself today or any other day? Right now is the best time to show yourself some love before you shower others with love. Make sure your self love cup is filled first. Then let the over flow of love spill over to others in your life.

”If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get a amen up in here?” -Rupaul

How are you going to love yourself today? If you are single, married, widowed, or going through a separation you are loved. Therefore, you should celebrate that. Even if you feel right now, you are alone or lonely, there is someone out there that admires you. For those that are married or in a relationship, don’t forget about yourself. So often those that aren’t single tend to forget about themselves in a relationship. Make yourself a priority today as well. SELF LOVE: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

I’m Going To Love Myself Today By:

-Glamming myself up before I go to work. I painted my nails red and have a special red lipstick for this day.
-Eating a healthy breakfast to start my day off right.
-Editing a blog post because it’s my hobby and something l like to do for me.
-Tidy up my home to ensure my space is free for me to be comfortable.
-Pray to make sure my spirit is filled and I don’t let any negativity stick to me.
-Workout to increase my overall health and wellness.
-Laugh because it’s good for the soul and it’s the best medicine.
-Tell myself I’m enough and I deserve everything my heart desire.
-Fix dinner for my family because I love being a mom and a wife.

Those are just a few things I will do today to show myself some love. I encourage everyone out there to show themselves some love. Whatever it is you want, feel you are missing, or need give it to yourself. Then you may spread the love around.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!! YOU’LL GET OVER THE HUMP

It’s hump day!!!! I tell my kids every Wednesday, ”you almost done with the week. Once you get over hump day, you’ll running to the finish line.” Happy hump day everyone!!!!

I just want everyone to know if there is any kind of hump in your life that you are trying to get over, you’re almost there. Don’t give up, keep going!!!! It gets the toughest when you are almost at the finish line. You have the strength to pull through. EVEN THE STRONGEST NEEDS A BREAK

When you are at your lowest, weakest, and just can’t take it any more, the breakthrough is coming. Please believe and know you are stronger, bigger, tougher, and wiser than any obstacle you are facing. No matter if it’s a physical hump, mental hump, emotional hump, financial hump, relationship hump, or work hump. You will conquer and see through to the other side.

Has it been challenging? YES!!!!!! Have you taken all you can take? YES!!!!!! There have been tears shed. You have screamed, shut down, and stressed yourself to no end. But, hold on because it’s hump day and there isn’t a hump big enough to hold you down.

You’ve been here before. Remember?!?! There was another time you thought you weren’t going to get through, and you did. Think back, and pull from that strength. Rememeber how you felt when you finally conquered and got over the hump. Expect and anticipate the victory of WINNING!!!!!!

In the meantime, be patient, pray, and do your best. The rest has been worked out already. Remember it’s not our timing that is the best timing.

So on this hump day, go be great. Be your best self. Tough times don’t last. You will outlast any hump that you face today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. We will have humps. But it’s how we climb that hump and what we do in the process that makes it manageable.

Have a great day!!!! Happy Hump Day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH: 6 TIPS TO BOOST SELF ESTEEM

Feeling down on yourself, I’ve been there. Boost your self esteem with these simple tips. They are free and simple. The transformation starts on the inside and then moves to the outside. Our mental and emotional is very important. However, the outside must match the inside. The insecurities we face about our looks can heavily effect our mental and emotional health.

The first thing to do is not compare yourself to what you see on television, internet, print, and every other place that is filtered. No one body is perfect. Nor is their skin perfect. Accept every ounce of weight, stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkle, pimple, and big toe. Side note: The big toe was for me. My second toe is bigger than my first toe. And, I have a six head not a forehead. But who cares. The key here is, our flaws is what makes us unique and stand out from the rest. I know for me, I want to look like me.

Once you’re able to love all of you, you can then dress and style yourself to your body. There are many clothing brands out there. Find the right style, comfort, and fit for you. If you are worried about your shirts, start with having the right bra. Sometimes having a bra with full coverage makes a world of difference. It’s the simple things that we can correct that will make a huge difference. If you’re worried about your mid section, don’t buy low rise nothing. That only makes you accentuate areas you don’t want. The point is to learn your curves and work with them.

After that, boost your self esteem with a hair cut, color, or style. Sometimes we can hold on to a style and it will make us look more worn out that we are. Refresh with new hair to give yourself a new attitude. My philosophy is ”it’s only hair, it will grow back.” My hair is usually the first thing to change when I need a shift change or mood booster. Short, long, curly, straight, black or highlighted I’ve done it all. Recreate yourself and see yourself into a new light. How To Boost Your Confidence With Daily Self Care

Get out of a funk and boost your mood by just window shopping. Get out of the house. Go to a mall or store and just browse. Walk around and get outfit ideas. Figure new ways to decorate your home. Look at different foods for new recipes. And what do you know, you’ll see someone you know. Have a great conversation and forget why you were in a funk in the first place. On the other hand, you just might find a stranger and have a conversation. Either way you have opened your mind and heart to receive some good energy. I’ve done this many times to boost myself up.

Feeling down on your luck, get dressed up and dolled up to do nothing. This is the easiest self esteem boost tip you can do. Unconsciously, I’ve done this and didn’t realize it. I’ll wake up and before you know it I’m walking around on Sunday morning in a face full of makeup. But the rest of the day, I’m happy. Every time you walk pass a mirror you enjoy looking at yourself and that instantly boosts your self esteem.

Lastly, if you’re not in a good mood accept an invite. We get so used to making excuses and not accepting invites that we’ve forced ourselves into loneliness. Just because you’ve never been to an event like the one you were invited to doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it. You never know who you’ll meet. I received job opportunities by having lunch with someone.

I know the best thing to do is to get up, get out, and move. Make yourself look good, so you can feel good, and then be able to receive good. When our self esteem is low, we aren’t able to see good in anything. When in actuality, the good is there. There are many more ways to boost your self esteem. But start with what you have to boost your self esteem and then build up. We have to shift our mind to focus on the positive.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH: YOU ALREADY HAVE BEEN VALIDATED

If we look around the validation we’re seeking is in front of our faces. You have already been validated. God sends you validation in many forms. We must hear and see in the spirit. As my grandmother would say when I was younger, if it was a snake, it would’ve bit you.

So often we look for validation when we’re experiencing different emotions. Or, we may seek validation when we begin a new venture of some sort. However, in my experience, the validation is already there.

The validation could come from someone you least expect. We often seek validation from family and friends, but God will send your enemy to give you a boost of encouragement. Don’t look at it as the person is being nosy or want something from you. God is telling you to go for it, because you are going to inspire the one person you least expect.

You have already been validated when you read that message that pops up on your phone. You know, the one that makes you say “hmmm” or “that is a coincidence”. That is God saying you have everything you need. You have been seeking from places that can’t give you what you need. GOD IS A KEEPER

When your friend or family member send you a inspirational message, that’s God saying you have been validated. He uses his resources wisely. If you come across a passage and it hits you differently, then that is your validation confirmation.

When I say validation, it could be you worried about switching jobs. Have you decided to move away and you are worried if its the right decision. You may seek validation from setting some boundaries and you want to make sure you’re doing the right thing. You could need affirmation to make a decision that would effect you financially. Just look, its already there. Any way you stand up for yourself and it scares you, its been validated already.

This thought of already being validated came to me when I was worried about if I made the right decision on something . But for several days, I came across messages and inspirational videos that let me know I was doing the right thing. Every morning for a couple of days, my morning message that I read, would have something to do with my decision. I had to stop and think to myself, this isn’t popping up by coincidence, this is God telling me to stop worrying, you made the right decision.

If you are struggling with a decision or feel you’re not receiving the validation you need, stop and look around you. I guarantee you, that you’ve been affirmed and validated. Get in tuned with your spirit. It won’t steer you wrong.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.