”An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others have nothing to do with them. Each day you get to decide which one you’ll be.”- Jarrid Wilson
Yes, you’ve been hurt, treated unfairly, had an unfair chance at life in some circumstances, and may be broken. However, that isn’t who you are, have to stay to be, and have to own. While in the state of hurt, every trigger you have will be pulled. Why? Because you haven’t resolved or healed the pain and trauma from before. Until you learn what happened isn’t your fault and others that inflict pain, is projecting their own hurt, then you’re going to forever take it personally. No matter what is said or happen, you’re going to think someone is out to hurt you.
The best thing to do is figure out where your hurt and pain comes from. For me it started out the blue one day asking myself a simple question: Why do I get so upset when someone assume or insinuate I’m mean, anti social, or harsh? That was a huge trigger for me. For starters I had to think back where that label came from and why it triggered me so much. Once I was able to understand the origin, who started it, and how it stuck, I was able to reconcile and let it go.
Once you learn your triggers, how not to respond, and redirect emotions you’ll be able to understand others better. You’ll recognize that they are hurt and having an episode themselves. Sometimes the only way someone can release their pain is to project on to others.
I can truly say from experience, me getting to know the why behind where my emotions come from has allowed me to be more patient with others and help them recognize their own unhealed pain. The best thing to do is to heal yourself to help others begin their own healing. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!
If you’ve been working on yourself, journaling, and seeking help then you’re probably experiencing some changes in how you think or approach situations. You are growing and don’t really know what’s happening. Well growth can look and be different on everyone. However, here are some signs you might be on the up and up.
-It has become easier to set boundaries, implement them, and see them through. You no longer are willing to accept mistreatment for the sake of keeping peace. Also, your boundaries may become stronger and wider.
-You no longer run from your emotions. Lie about how you feel. Or minimize the effect something or someone has on you. Good or bad you sit in your emotions, understand why you’re having the emotion, and grow through it.
-It has become easier and comfortable to talk about how you feel. You seek help or let someone know you need to talk. When someone asks how you’re feeling you are honest and say so. Asking for help can look like getting a therapist, journaling , talking to a friend, inspirational music, or videos.
-You know what your insecurities are, where they come from, and how they show up in your life. You’ve went to the dark place to figure out why comments, people, or situations get an arise out of you. Then you are wanting to correct those negative habits. That is what growth looks like.
-Your sympathy and empathy for others have shown through. You don’t make judgments or pass criticism on others. You attempt to understand how they feel and why they feel the way they do. Your empathy moves you to motivate and encourage them through their process.
-When you are triggered you no longer respond or react. The work have shown you what your triggers are, why they are there, and how to conquer them. It’s easier to move past an unwanted comment or situation.
-You seek deeper relationships with others and want to present your authentic self. You no longer hide or seek solitude. There are excitement to go out and communicate with others. Also your ability to converse with strangers comes easier.
Those are some tips that will help you to know you’re on the path to healing. Many of these tips I have seen in myself and continue to see growth. When you make progress or notice a change be sure to make note of it or journal your experience.
The best season is here and there’s so much to do. Fall season is my favorite time of the year. The weather, outdoor activities, cool crisp air, and of course, decor are just a few things to name as to why I love this season. We are just over 10 days into the month of September and there is still time to kick off 🏈 your fall season. Below are 7 things to do before the end of September.
Pumpkin Spice it up. The best part of fall is the latte’s. Pumpkin spice, apple cider 🍺, or pumpkin pie latte is all around us. Treat yourself to a latte one morning before work, on your lunch break, a cool Saturday morning, or on that Friday night football game. Get creative and enjoy a great staple of fall season.
Sweater it up. Sweater weather is the best season. Another great reason to love fall. This is the time you get to show off your cool, cozy, sweater style. You can refresh your wardrobe and purchase a new sweater. Gift a sweater to someone. Or be frugal and thrift. No matter what, get into season with a great comfy sweater.
Soup or Chili for comfort. 🍜 What else do we love about fall, those Chili cook off contests. You want to warm up with a nice bowl of chili to watch your new favorite fall shows. Get creative and try some new recipes. There are some amazing Chili recipes out there. On the other hand, a great pot of homemade soup never fails. I grew up on my grandparents and parents making a good pot of vegetable or chicken noodle soup on Sunday. Both Chili and soup is a great way to comfort you soul, while being good for the soul. Lastly, it may provide a great amount of leftovers depending on your family size.
Bake some goodies. 🧁 Cookies, cake, pie, and cobbler all screams fall. After that bowl of chili or soup having a nice piece of pie tops it off. Any of the above mentioned desserts pairs well with your latte as well. Another great part about fall is indulging in all the food, beverages, and desserts. You can still enjoy a good slice of cake and maintain a healthy balanced diet.
Plan your Halloween 🎃 day, night, or weekend. Begin searching all the events that is taking place in your area. You’ll be surprised at the amount of festival, bashes, and parties that are being held in your area. Most importantly there are going to be many that are free. I have older teens that enjoyed some of the events I found in my area last year. It’s more about enjoying the experience, people, food, and fun.
Decorate. 🍁 Give your home a little fall makeover. I know everyone isn’t into having seasonal decor. But rearrange you home. Get some cinnamon, apple cider, or pumpkin scents in the home. If it’s one piece or a whole season of decor get into it. Create a fall visual to your liking to get you into the spirit.
Enjoy the crisp air. 🍂The one thing we need to top off everything is the cool weather out. It will take some of us to get there longer than others. But, I’m beginning to see the change of weather in the morning when I do drop off. The cool weather makes the latte that much more comforting. The chili or soup soothes the soul just right. That sweater wraps around our bodies like a blanket. And the colors in the decor becomes brighter.
This is my first week working from home full time. I’m ready to get the administrative part out of the way and begin actual work. I know there is a process and I’m going to let it play out. Also we don’t have much on the calendar this week as far as events and activities. Therefore, we’re going to use this week to catch up and relax.
Sunday: Finishing up the weekend and the first week of school has been great. I didn’t get to do my daughters hair yesterday so we’re doing it today. After sleeping in and doing my weekend check list. WEEKEND SELF CARE TO DO LIST I decided to head out and run a couple of errands with my daughter. As she gets older I’m being more intentional about spending quality time with her, even though she doesn’t want to. After 2 places she’s ready to head back home. Later in the evening I did some cleaning, laundry, and decided to relax. We ended up watching a program with my daughter before winding down for the night.
Monday: First day of my new schedule. I’m not nervous, or anxious. Just ready to get back to doing my normal work. Morning drop off went ok and I was able to head back and get logged in. I did however, still prepare and get dressed as if I was physically going into the office. It was important for me not to “get out of work mode”. Furthermore, if I need to turn on my camera, I’m ready. In addition to that, on lunch hour, I went for a quick 20 minute walk. Just as if I was still working downtown. After getting off I was able to finish dinner, and then of course go back outside for a good walk. The kids are still getting used to waking up early so they are ready for bed earlier than usual.
Tuesday: Still feeling good about this transition. However, my son’s allergies are flaring up and he just can’t take it. Trying to remedy him and help him breathe is always a challenge. So far another great day of working from home. Continued to go out for lunch and get fresh air. The evening has been pretty calm so far. With my oldest son off to work, youngest son allergies flaring up, and my daughter dealing with cramps everyone has retreated to bed. Although my youngest son is having trouble breathing no matter what we do. I have a feeling as to how this night is going to go.
Wednesday: My son didn’t have a good night and he ended up staying home. My husband also took off today since he’s helping me with the drop off and pick up until I get this work from home transition done. So far it’s going good and I haven’t had any technical issues. I’ve been taking advantage of being at home and getting house work done on breaks. Also at lunch I’ll go out and walk to get some fresh air and get away from my desk. The kids are settling into school and getting back into routine pretty good so far. Keeping up with the many activities, emails, and calendar is the priority right now. After work I finished up some house work, dinner, and went back out for a walk. It’s hump day and we all are ready to retire to bed early.
Thursday: Typical work day and school day. The mornings have been going great. So far none of the kids are fighting me not to get up. I’m getting caught up on some procedural things at work so the next 2 days are going to pretty light. This weekend we aren’t planning on attending any activities. We’re going to use the long weekend to catch up on rest and relaxation. I of course have been transitioning the house to fall. I have plans to do some window cleaning, move furniture around, and clean out closets. After work is a quick grocery run, walk outside, and heading to bed.
Friday: OMG the rain and storm this morning is too much. I don’t like driving in the rain when it’s like this. Thankfully I was able to get drop off done and head home for work. This will be another smooth day before heading into next week with meetings and jam packed schedule. Later… The kids are home and don’t want to do anything but relax and that is perfectly ok with us. After work I took the day off and turned in early.
Saturday: Great morning to sleep in. I got some house work done before heading out to do some errands. After dropping my son off at work we took the younger 2 to the new Starbucks here and sat outside on the patio. It was good to get the kids out and see where their minds are and have some conversation with them. The weather was perfect and breezy sitting under the umbrella table out there. Later in the evening I worked out and did some calendar planning. Did some finishing touches on my work desk and turned in when my son got home.
As I really get good into my 40’s there are some lifestyle shifts taking place intentionally and some unintentional. I am proud to be my age, I don’t look my age, and I want to ensure I continue to be mindful and show my kids how to mature peacefully and with grace.
First I notice no matter what the situation is, I focus on the good and positive. No I don’t ignore what happened. But I don’t dwell on it either. I know from experience acknowledging what is, and moving on to the good is better for my mental health. As well as me progressing into the life I want to live. Focus on the good and keep positive.
Love my body, hair, and skin as is. I’m not willing to do anything unhealthy to get the ”perfect” body, hair, and skin. Having imperfection on my skin is normal and what makes me, me. Getting a little frizz I’ve come love, as it give me texture and volume. My body is amazing at this stage in my life after having 3 children. Love the body and skin you’re in. Just continue to take care of it and love it at every stage.
Following my heart and doing what makes me feel good. No more of me saying yes or volunteering myself when I don’t want to. We’re all guilty of this. But I’ve learned to let the guilt go of letting someone down. I no longer will put myself in an uncomfortable position to make someone else feel good.
Keeping things simple these last couple of years has helped my mental and emotionalwellness. One of my favorite sayings is, ”If I have to think about it more than once or if it’s taking me too long to make a decision then, it’s not worth it.” I’m not into going around the block to figure something out. I’ll go with my gut, and let the rest play out. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and not over analyze.
Enjoy nature as much as I can. Going for a walk and trying different trails and parks is very therapeutic. Being outside in nature is a freeing feeling and allows me to completely let my walls down. Hearing the different sounds and sometimes hearing nothing gives a good sense of peace. SELF CARE HABITS: 8 DAILY HABITS TO FEEL YOUR BEST
Treat myself often. Now this doesn’t have to be anything expensive. But if I want to have a latte from the coffee shop I’m going to treat myself. If I just want a new lipstick I will treat myself. Give back to yourself. Reward yourself. You deserve it and worked hard.
Those are 8 differences I noticed since being in my 40’s. I’m loving this stage of my life and I know if I continue I’ll be better for myself and my family. Have fun, keep things simple, and take care of yourself.
Berry Banana Smoothie 1 Bottle of Premier Protein-Vanilla Flavor (https://amzn.to/3NTNZYT) 1 Banana 1/2 Cup of Frozen Mixed Berries
Each of these smoothies are simple and quick to blend up. Coconut water is great for hydration and provides flavor. You can opt to substitute with a flavored coconut water or use regular water. Also avocado and spinach is great because they provide great nutrients but are tasteless. I alternate bananas and avocados to give me some substance to the smoothies.
These are just 3 smoothie ideas with 5 ingredients or less you can try to jump start your routine or mix it up. It’s good to play around with flavors, ingredients, and recipes to avoid boredom. Remember don’t think too hard about it, have fun with the flavors and recipes, and keep the ingredients to a minimum. Also, it will save you time, money, and stress. The end result, you having a great balanced healthy lifestyle.
Stop Overthinking. We all are guilty of this. Over thinking is rehashing the past or certain situations that we wish would have went differently, or have anxiety about a situation coming up. Overthinking stops us from recognizing our blessings, talents, and gifts that we do have. Thus halting our happiness.
Take a risk. Most of the time we are unhappy because the one thing that we want to do, fear has trapped us from doing. When you ask an older person the one thing they regret, most of the time it’s not taking a risk on something. No matter what it is, take a risk. You never know what direction your life will turn.
Run Towards What Makes You Happy. Whatever that one thing is that makes you happy and feel the most alive, don’t stop feeding it. Don’t let other’s opinions stop you. The lack of money. Fear of rejection. That one thing that keeps your heart fluttering will lead you down your path of true happiness.
Create Memories. Have fun and let lose. It’s ok to poke fun of yourself, not be serious, and laugh. Take pictures, document, and create memories. It doesn’t have to be on a holiday, it could be any day of the year. Give yourself something to look back on.
Reinvent Yourself. You don’t have to stay the same or do the same thing. You are supposed to grow and evolve. Change your look, the way you dress, redecorate you home, and work station. A new perspective instantly boosts confidence, self esteem, and happiness.
Invest in Yourself. You are the constant in your life. Invest in yourself often. Be the best you and invest in your appearance. So when you go out, to wherever, you look good and feel good. Invest in your career, home, family, life, and health. You matter as well as your happiness.
Be comfortable now. Yes we want more, and want to grow. But be comfortable with what you have now. Accept, love, and cherish the now so when greater come you’re able to value it like you should. When it’s time for us to have more, that blessing will come. Until then, show God you’re grateful for what he has given you so far.
Give Back. No matter what your family situation is, give back. Whatever your financial situations is, give back. If you’re not feeling great, give back. The love, compassion, empathy, time, and money we give can save someone’s life. In return when we show support our mood and spirits are filled with gratitude. In result, more happiness.
Enjoy family and friends. Unfortunately, there are people who still think they can live in this world alone. Even when the relationships aren’t the best, take the good and leave the rest. We all need community support.
Those are 10 things that makes us live more happier. Start here, be consistent, and watch your happiness grow. Enjoy the journey and healingprocess.
After the last couple weeks being completely quiet and uneventful, I’m back to a full schedule this week. We completely enjoyed not having anything going on except work. Even that has been extremely slow.
Sunday: Happy Fourth of July!!!!!!! We decided this year to enjoy the local festivities and get out. After taking my oldest son to work we’re headed downtown to the fourth of July celebration. It’s basically a festival with games, food, soundstages, live music, rides, and more. Also this evening we’ll stay for the parade. Although it is scorching out, we are very excited to do something different. A few hours later….we are sprinting to the shower because we all are hot sweaty and sticky. My mom even joined us out and it was a great time. After showering we relaxed and stayed in for the night.
Monday: Happy Fourth of July (again). Today is the actual holiday and we’re going to head back out downtown again so my oldest son can enjoy himself. Unfortunately, it’s too hot for mom so she’ll stay back until this evening when we go see the fireworks show. The kids enjoyed rides, funnel cake, nachos, lemonade and all the vendors. Surprisingly today, was a little different. There were much more vendors, games, and rides out today. As we were walking, we found a kid zone area with a petting zoo. We all enjoyed ourselves once again and glad we decided to come out. Later on we went to shower, grab some dinner, and head out to meet mom for the fireworks show.
Tuesday: Back to work. But first, I have to make a stop and drop off some packages to the post office. To my surprise work was quiet and slow. The temps out are approaching 110 and the plan is to stay inside where it’s cool. Tried going to the pool, but even the pool water is warm. After work, I had time to publish HOW TO PAMPER YOURSELF AT HOME ON A BUDGET. In addition to finishing up a couple loads of laundry, fixing a quick dinner, and tidying up a bit. Later on I decided to go ahead and workout. The rest of the evening we spent relaxing and making brownies until my son got off at 11p.m.
Wednesday: My aunt is coming to visit us again for a while. WEEKLY BLOG: NEW PERFUME, DETOX, & VISIT FROM AUNT So today I’ll have a quick day at work until it’s time to pick her up from the airport. It’s perfect timing because I don’t have much on my schedule at work. Few hours later…we are at my moms catching up. The kids did their weekly chores and clean up at their granny house. Next, we decided to make a store run and then I went home to clean, do laundry, change linen, and deep condition my hair. With it being so hot out I have to do it a couple times a week now. Finally, I was able to head off to bed.
Thursday: I’m feeling blah this morning. I didn’t sleep good at all last night. I know I went to bed late after cleaning and working. But, I thought that would tire me out and put me to sleep. None the less, I’m ready for the day. After work this evening we have a parent meeting for my son who was nominated to be a safety kid for next school year. Later on after an hour and half meeting we went for ice cream. The meeting was very informative, exciting, and fun for the kids. This safety kids thing is much more than I thought it was, but I’m excited for my son.
Friday: I’m anxious this morning because I have a meeting and I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for a while. I know work is going to be great because it’s only 2 of us all day and we’ve been slow all week. Well…my meeting went better than great. I’m really excited for this new opportunity and I’m happy with how I presented myself. Later on in the evening we went to this event downtown called the ”Ice Cream Splash”. It was another good evening of live music, all you can eat ice cream, games, and prizes for the kids. 5 SIMPLE AND EASY HEALTHY TIPS FOR SUMMER It was even better because the weather was bearable.
Saturday: It’s a very chill morning. A little gloomy out, but I decided to get up early and run a couple of errands. My son has to work this afternoon into evening so we’re going to stay close to home and relax. I have a couple things on my to do list and get ready for another week. WEEKEND SELF CARE TO DO LIST Also a couple of task to complete for this new venture I’m going to start and then I think I’m done for the day. Later in the evening, I was able to do some work, write post, from all the notes I took earlier in the week at work.
One of the best ways to get out of a rut is to remember how blessed you are, express gratitude, and take inventory of what you already have. The best way to do this is to make a list. Start off with the small things that makes you happy. The tangible physical things, to get you going.
It’s the little things that makes you happy. We’ve all said this at some point or heard it many times in life. Why? Because it’s true. It’s not that trip to Disney that makes you happy. It’s the little memories, moments, and experiences that add up from the trip that makes it special.
Take a moment to look around and list all the small things that make you happy. Nothing can be too small. The little things that helps you get through the day, that make you laugh, feel comfortable, feel good about yourself, and you can’t stop grabbing or doing.
Those are 10 little things I use everyday that make me happy or I do that makes me happy. I wanted to do something a little different than the usual. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO Drinking water, waking up, seeing the sun shine, going to work, having a job, having a car, having food to eat, family and friends that love me, and so on. It’s a no brainer that all those makes us happy and helps our mentalwellness. But it’s good to recognize and appreciate what we have in other areas that makes us happy as well.
So often we always want more or look to have more. But our happiness is right in our face if we look. It’s those small things that we don’t even blink an eye at that gives us happiness. The little things that you grab without thinking or you do without thinking on a daily.
I don’t know who need to hear this but you can’t solve money problems with money. A quick wellnesstip for you on this Wednesday, is to stop trying to figure out how to get more or make more. The more money you make, the more bills you have, the more debt you’ll have.
Yes, the world seems to have taken us all by storm, again. But to stay ahead and get ahead you must change some dailyhabits. First is changing or shifting how you feel about money. What is your relationship with money? Secondly, look at your daily spending. Is it necessities or wants? What can you do to cut back? Have you been budgeting? When was the last time you tracked your spending. https://amzn.to/3mQ1uh7
To be honest, you’ve probably been working overtime to make ends meet, has it worked for you? Or have you found yourself in the same spot that you were in last pay period? Meal planning, grocery planning, car pooling, and daily household planning are good beginning steps to begin your financialwellnessjourney. Also, playing catch up is never a good idea. If it’s food items, cleaning products, hygiene products, or even gas, not letting it run too low or get empty is key to keeping your nose above water. Money Jar Saving Method for easy saving
I know this is extremely difficult. Milk is even out of budget. Think about meals that can last for two days or have leftovers that you can cook. Make a plan to only go to the store once a week or every two weeks depending on your budget and family needs. That will save on gas. In return, the less trips to the store, the less you spend. Google events and activities in your area to go to for free. You and your family can still have fun and enjoy life.
I know this is a difficult time. But just as with anything else, this is only temporary. Making the choice to tackle it and be proactive instead of reactive will help ease stress and pressure. Start with tracking your daily activities, what’s coming in and going out, and then create a plan. “If you fail to plan then you plan to fail.” #healthiswealth #financialwellness