Tag: growth mindset

Mental Note of the Day: Pay Attention to the Apology

The other day I was watching a video where someone was talking about emotional healing and discernment in relationships. One thing she said stopped me in my tracks.

She said:

“You can tell a person’s emotional health by the way they apologize.”

I have not stopped thinking about that.

So often we talk about healing in terms of cutting people off, protecting our peace, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. All of those things are important. But this thought challenged me to look at something deeper — how accountability shows up in our words and actions.

woman with scissors cutting inscription i am sorry

Because apologies reveal a lot.

Some people avoid taking responsibility altogether.

Some give half apologies.

Some minimize what happened.

Some gaslight.

Some pass the blame.

Some say “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which sounds like an apology but actually avoids accountability.

And when we pay attention to those patterns, we start to understand where someone may be emotionally.

But what really stood out to me was the description of a healthy apology. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

It sounds like this:

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I don’t want you to feel that way, especially because of me. I hear you.”

That kind of apology doesn’t come with conditions.

It doesn’t come with excuses.

It simply takes responsibility.

And the more I thought about this, the more I realized something important.

This isn’t just a tool for discerning others.

It’s a guide for ourselves.

Sometimes when we talk about emotional healing or mental health, we focus so much on identifying unhealthy behavior in others that we forget to check in with ourselves.

But growth asks us different questions.

  • Do I take accountability when I’m wrong?
  • Do I listen when someone tells me I hurt them?
  • Do I apologize in a way that honors their feelings?

Healing isn’t just about what we avoid.

It’s also about what we practice.

Emotionally healthy people understand that apologizing doesn’t make them weak. It makes them responsible. It makes them safe to be in relationship with.

And that’s something I want to continue growing in.

Not just for others.

But for myself.

Because the goal isn’t perfection.

The goal is awareness, humility, and growth.

So today’s mental note is simple:

Pay attention to the apology.

The ones you receive.

And the ones you give.

Both will tell you a lot about where healing is happening.

Journal Prompt for Reflection

Take a moment to sit with these questions:

  • When was the last time I gave a sincere apology?
  • Do I sometimes defend myself before I fully listen?
  • What would it look like for me to apologize with clarity and accountability?

Growth begins when we are honest enough to look within.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

The Grass Isn’t Greener—Water What You Have

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.”
It’s one of those quotes we hear often, nod along to, but rarely pause to truly reflect on. In a world of quick fixes, instant gratification, and constant comparison—especially on social media—it’s easy to think the solution to our dissatisfaction is to jump ship. Start over. Quit. Move on. But what if the shift we’re searching for isn’t “over there,” but right where we are?

words written on notepad page

Sometimes We Don’t Need to Start Over—We Need to Start Tending

Life has a way of tempting us with new beginnings. New jobs, new relationships, new cities, new diets, new projects. And yes, sometimes those changes are necessary. But other times, what we really need is to stop chasing “better” and focus on growing what’s already in our hands.

Before you abandon the job, the dream, the marriage, the blog, the business, or even the lifestyle you’ve built, ask yourself:
Have I truly nurtured it?

Think about a garden:

  • If the soil is dry, we water it.
  • If the roots are weak, we fertilize and give it time.
  • If weeds show up, we pull them out.
  • And most importantly—we don’t expect results overnight.

How This Looks in Real Life

  • Career: Before quitting, have you explored mentorship, learning a new skill, or shifting roles within the same space?
  • Relationships: Have you communicated your needs, invested time, and set healthy boundaries before declaring it’s over?
  • Yourself: Are you really “unfulfilled” or just burned out, distracted, and disconnected from your own values?
  • Dreams and Goals: Have you been patient and consistent enough to see them bloom?

We live in a culture of starting from scratch. But many of us already have the seeds—we just haven’t watered them consistently. Why Mindset Is Everything

A Little Patience Goes a Long Way

Growth doesn’t come from constantly uprooting yourself. It comes from persistence, consistency, and discipline. Life won’t always feel exciting. Sometimes it’s repetitive. Sometimes it’s hard. But these are the moments where character and transformation are formed.

Your “grass” might just need:

Don’t give up on what could be amazing just because it isn’t perfect yet.

Before you go chasing greener pastures, pause. Look around. Maybe, just maybe, everything you need is already in your garden—you just need to start tending to it. Nurture what you’ve got. Pour into what already exists. Your future might not lie in something new, but in something renewed.

Journal Prompts to Reflect On:

  1. What area of my life feels “dry” right now?
  2. Have I truly invested time and energy into this area?
  3. Am I running from something—or towards something better?
  4. What do I already have that I’ve overlooked?
  5. What would “watering my grass” look like today?

“Don’t uproot what just needs time to grow. Your grass can be green too—if you’re willing to water it.”

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

GRATITUDE REALLY DOES WORK

After listening to many motivational videos, the one thing that was repeated consistently was exercising gratitude. No matter who was speaking or what they were speaking on, gratitude really does work and get you out of a funk instantly. This is something I had to work at and exercise in my daily life.

photograph of a person s hand holding a gift box

We get many examples of this in our daily life. There was a point of 2 months span, we had to get both our vehicles fixed. One vehicle we had to get fixed twice in one month. And the other vehicle once. Was it frustrating. ABSOLUTELY!!!! Did we have other plans we wanted to do. YUP. But I had to quickly remind my husband, let’s be grateful and thank God we had the ability and finances to get them fixed. Neither one of us had to miss work and we are still alive and breathing. What was supposed to happen, happened. How we respond is up to us. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW

But this thought of gratitude really working came to me when a woman, 92 years young, came to my office to have a thank you card published in the monthly newspaper. She had been in the hospital the previous week and she wanted to thank her family and friends for their well wishes, cards, visits, and prepped meals. However, repeatedly she kept saying how grateful she was to be alive. She really thought her time was up. She said being able to wake up in her home in her bed was the best gift God gave her to do again. All she wanted to do was give her thanks while she’s still here. https://amzn.to/41FE15S Lastly, the best part she said , “you know He really didn’t have to save me”.

I froze at my desk. Ros what do you have to complain about? I responded to myself quickly, nothing at all. I have a home with air conditioning. There are people sleeping on the streets in this hot summer heat. I have food to eat. Many families are going to shelters and Salvation Army’s to get meals. I have a job. My husband has a job. We have vehicles to get to work. Our health is good. Our kids smiled today. I had a drink of clean water. Most importantly I have the ability to pass this on.

So if you’re unhappy about your current situation or going through anything, look around, write down 10 things that you are grateful for. Remember every situation is temporary. Learn what you need. That’s how we grow. We are forced out of our comfort zones when we’re stubborn. Each day practice gratitude. In order to increase and reach our full capacity we must be grateful now so we can appreciate more later. Be well!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HELLO SEPTEMBER

Yup, it’s September 1, 2023. Where has the time gone? For some September is about pumpkin spice latte’s, apple cider, fall festivals, pumpkin patch visits, and my favorite, decor. However, September is exciting because football is back, a plethora of new fall TV shows, and back to school. Lastly, who doesn’t love fall fashion? Fall can be the best time of year for fashion. You get to wear sweaters, boots, layer, and get creative.

stationery surrounded by dried flowers

While all of that is exciting and great entertainment, September reminds us that the end of the year is quickly approaching. Some stress over Christmas holiday shopping, have they reached their goals, and what are they going to before the clock strikes midnight on December 31. You’ll probably going to see an increase of content on what to do these last couple of months to achieve your goals. How to set yourself up for next year. Or, you should already be thinking about next year. Either way it can be stressful.

Please remember that it’s great content to keep you motivated, on track, and getting your juices flowing for your life. However, consuming the content without filters can cause some to feel like they aren’t doing enough, they have failed at their goals, it’s too late, times running out, or they aren’t working hard enough. When it comes to consuming that information, take the tips and tricks that apply to your lifestyle and create realistic systems and goals to live your life. Leave the rest.

As we say hello September, think about what you need to feel free and light. Just like the leaves fall for the season, what do you need to get rid of that isn’t serving you. If you’ve been stressing over the same thing for months, nothing has changed, let if fall with the leaves. You’ve tried something and it wasn’t what you thought, OH WELL, you tried. Take the good lessons you learned from it, and move on to something else. Get rid of what you need to sleep, rest, and have peace at the end of each day. 7 HEALING JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A PEACEFUL WEEK

With our hello this month, we’re going to see some new colors bring life to nature. That’s our hint to add some color and life into our daily routine. If you haven’t been one to attend a fall festival find one close to you to visit. Have you been apple picking, to a pumpkin patch (yes we plan to go this year even though my kids are teenagers), or an hayride. The goal here is to find something local, free or close to free, do something that you never done, and explore.

This is a trick I started last year and have enjoyed. This summer we stopped by our local Ford Enthusiast festival that is held every year, but have never went. They had food, live bands, games, and endless Ford cars displayed for one weekend. We had a blast. All it takes is to try.

Say hello to September. Enjoy your lattes, soups, chili’s, and cobblers. Get comfy cozy in your favorite sweaters and live colorful. Your heart, mind, and body will reward you.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how my story is going to end.”- Christine Mason Miller

You can change your life today. If you are unhappy in any aspect you can make a change today. Regardless of what you’re unhappy about, you are the only one you can turn the page in your life. Make a bold statement and tell yourself you’re going to change. You see, once you speak it, it will happen. It’s not a cliche, this last year I let go of the fear of saying exactly what I wanted or how I want to feel. Once I made my thoughts clear and put it out into the unviverse it was a release. I felt empowered to then make the moves to do what I wanted. I literally changed career moves in 2 months. Once I stop being afraid and looking for the ok, making excuses, and twisting myself into a pretzel. The moment I told my husband I am not happy I don’t want to do this. The flood gates opened. I went and submitted my resume endlessly. Within a week I had 4 interviews. I had so many offers that I had to turn them down. All this to say no matter what it is you can change your life today. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE

a close up shot of letter dice on an open notebook

You don’t need a gym membership, new clothes, new shoes, or equipment to lose weight. If you’re stretching it thin on finances you don’t need to throw out your food. Cut your portions in half. Drink more water. Eliminate sugar. Start walking daily. You’ll begin to see your body transformation.

Need extra income. Start selling clothes and items you don’t use. Cancel subscription services. If someone wants to borrow your car, charge them. Babysit. Uber. Instacart. It’s out there. Working downtown, I met a young man who does door dash. He says he started out as wanting to make a little extra, now it’s his full time job. He said he doesn’t turn down any orders and he makes upwards of 4k a month.

Feeling a little blue in your home. Declutter. Rearrange the furniture. Get a new scent. Reorganize. Let some fresh air in. Open those windows, blinds, and curtains for natural sun light. Challenge yourself to try new places, experiences, foods, and more.

No matter what’s going on outside, you can change you. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”I pray you feel from things no one ever apologized for.” – Nakeia Homer

sorry text in pieces of white paper

Sometimes you won’t get the apology you need to heal, move on, or get closure from. We have to heal ourselves and be ok with not getting the apology. Yes, this is a very difficult thing to do. LET GO!!!!! You’ve been hurt, wronged, taken advantage of, mistreated, and abused. You didn’t deserve it. You did nothing wrong. In my quest to heal myself, I’ve come to learn that as long as I’ve done what was in my power to do, I have to leave it where it stands. I can’t do my part and someone else’s. Neither can you. Reconcile with yourself you’ve done what you can do. Sometimes they aren’t able to see what you see. Some are just stuck in their ways. They don’t want to see it in a different perspective. 7 HEALING JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A PEACEFUL WEEK Maybe they’ve been so unfairly treated that it’s too cloudy for them to see clearly. Whatever the circumstances are, being ok without an apology frees you. It also frees them. In the event they do apologize at a later time you’ll be able to receive it and be emotionally strong. No matter what occurred you are responsible for your own healing. Even if you did receive an apology you still have to heal yourself. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Self care is how you take your power back.”-Lalah Delia

woman wearing white sleeveless lace shirt

When I took my break, yes I needed a break. I participated in every self care activity that promoted good mental and emotional wellness for me. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO UNPLUG However you choose to self care, is your business. Depending on what you need, your self care will change. Not only do I practice self care for myself, it’s for my family and friends. It’s about me being the best for me while also giving them the best and most I have to offer without compromising myself. Self care will always be a journey. There isn’t a destination to happiness therefore, your self care will evolve as you grow through seasons of life. For me I keep my self care simple. Don’t make it complicated. Listen to what your body tells you. Last weekend we had so much on our schedule that we had a few moments to breathe. I found myself walking around getting a little anxious. I knew I wanted to do something until it was time for us to go again . However , I didn’t want to start something and then we had to leave again. My husband said, “what are you about to do?” I said, “I’m going to go outside for a walk to clear my head and regroup”. On some days cleaning will help, doing my hair or nails will help, reading, watching something funny, calling and talking to someone on the phone, or taking a nap. Whatever you need to do to remain calm and clear, do it. You’ll be available emotionally to handle your day. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.