I totally loved being a stay at home mom and low key want to go back to being a stay at home mom. However, there are some mistakes I made being a stay at home mom. Here are some of my mistakes and tips for you, so you won’t make the same one’s I did.

First off, I didn’t think of it as a job. I felt like I wasn’t bringing in actual income, so I wasn’t contributing. Because I wasn’t “working” outside the home I felt I couldn’t ask for help. Nor could I even think about saying I was tired. That couldn’t been further from the truth. Let me tell you, running and maintaining a home is work. It’s constant managing and balancing everything. All the cooking, cleaning, and laundry you do is work and contributing to the home.

Giving your spouse the peace of mind to not worry about anything is a huge contribution. Whatever you do to make the home run smoothly, save money, and provide comfort is constant support. So yes, therefore it is a full time job and then some. There isn’t a dollar amount you can place on that.

The second mistake I made as a stay at home mom was not practicing self care. Once again because I didn’t work outside the home and had small babies at home, I had to be in sweats all day. So I thought. In my head, I wasn’t going anywhere on a daily, so why get up and do anything to myself. I really didn’t focus on myself or do much to boost my energy and self esteem. In my mind, I was a stay at home mom and that’s the only thing I was allowed to focus on.

The thought of me not bringing in any income, made me believe I didn’t deserve anything. That went across the board. Clothes, shoes, makeup, vacations, and any thing else I thought would make me happy.

Trust me your kids and partner want you to practice self care. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. You deserve to look good, feel good, and have whatever it is you want. You will feel better about yourself and approach the days with more excitement and enthusiasm.

The last mistake I made was not having a hobby outside of the family. I had nothing to focus on to keep my mental intact. Having that breather or moment to myself I didn’t give myself permission for. It is painfully important as a stay at home mom to have your own hobby Self Care: Hobbies and Activities. Something that is completely you. The one thing that gets your mind off of everything and refuels you.

If I could go back, I would definitely make time for myself, create a space for me to do something that makes me happy, and give myself a break. It truly is a honor and gift if you have the luxury to be a stay at home mom. Be thankful and grateful that you have that gift.

Obviously there are many factors that contributed to me having the feelings I did. For starters, I had no support from my family. However, my husband was amazing at encouraging and motivating me. He tried to do everything to make me feel good and a contributing partner. I was looked at as being lazy, messing up my kids because I didn’t put them in day care, and wasting my degree that I received. Because I was young, I began to believe certain things and internalized them. In my mind, I had a completely different point of view. However my efforts, to share and explain fell on deaf ears.

Being a stay at home mom is hard work and time is going to fly by. Take care of yourself First and the rest will fall into place. If you are a stay at home mom, know you are doing a great job. Don’t let lack of support or outsiders tell you any different. Seek support, encouragement, and motivation outside if you have to.


Be you so you can be free.


After hearing “I don’t know how you do it” from a coworker many times, I thought to myself I just do. Yes, I have 3 kids ages 9-15, I’m a wife, I work outside the home as well as in the home. But, in my mind I don’t see anything I’m doing as different from any other working mom. So I thought I’d give my tips on how I stay sane and somewhat organized.SINGLE MOM SELF CARE TIPS: SIMPLE AND EASY

  1. Take 5. I have no problem giving myself 5 minutes to gather my thoughts. I take 5 minutes in the morning before I leave. Just as I have my purse, lunch bag, and coffee in hand, before I open the door, I stop and just breath for a few moments. Before I get out of the car at work, I give myself a moment of silence. If you’ve been working non stop, give yourself 5 minutes. Step away from everything and everyone. At work, at home, or wherever. Honey, sometimes I go in the bathroom and just sit on the toilet in the dark. I laugh because I can hear my husband and kids looking for me. Do what you have to do to give yourself a mental break.
  2. Tidy Often. Throughout the day I do mini tidy ups around the house. Going around and doing a quick wipe down or taking a trash bag around the house keeps the house from going over board with mess. Also the quick tidy ups gives me a visual cleanse. If I begin to see too much I get into a frenzy. Another hack of mine is, because I wake up at 5a.m., I put in a load of laundry. When I come home, I do another load and before bed I do another. I do this to ensure it doesn’t pile up. With a household of 5, it is very easy to develop a load of laundry.
  3. Make A List. I will either make a mental list or physical list of things I want and need to get done. That could be a grocery list, errands I need to run, or what’s on the upcoming schedule. Making sure I don’t miss appointments, meets, and games I have to write things down. Also use my calendar on my phone to give me reminders. This prevents me from getting into a rush and missing something or being late.
  4. Keep It Simple. When it comes to making decisions or anything I believe in keeping it simple. I like to keep my lifestyle simple since I do manage so many roles. I believe if we’re thinking too much about it then, it isn’t worth it. If we have to debate or spend too much time, then I let it go. I believe in letting God telling me what to do.
  5. Cancel and Say No. I’m am not afraid to say No or cancel if I need to. Don’t over book or put yourself in any situation that will put strain on you. I don’t like to do this, but if it’s absolutely necessary, I will. I hope that my previous steps and lifestyle choices allow me to not do so.

Those are just a couple of tips that I do and use to keep me sane. I’m pretty sure there are many more out there from amazing moms. I hope that one tip can help you. In the end, you control your time, schedule, and day. Make sure not to over exert yourself.


Be you so you can be free.


Some of our most difficult relationships are the one’s we have with family. That is mother, father, sister, brother, auntie, uncle, cousin, and even grandparents. Yes, we need family. We need their love and support. Especially when we’ve fallen. Their support and love is yearned for when we accomplish something significant. But what family doesn’t get to do is have a free pass to abuse the relationship.

family relationships are tricky because we give free passes when they disrespect, use, abuse, gaslight, blame, and shame us. We often make excuses for them. Telling ourselves it’s family, we have to get over it. NO, you don’t. Just because there is relation there, doesn’t mean they get to hurt your feelings without regard. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

In actuality, its hurts so much worse because it does come from family. family isn’t supposed to do what outsiders do and get away with it. After so many passes have been given out, tensions rise and relationships become fragile. Of course it’s difficult to have a conversation with a loved one. Telling someone you love what they are doing is hurting you, and you need them to stop is tough. Most of us are raised to believe we have to take it because it is family.

Well family doesn’t get a free pass. This is the group of people that you should be able to be the most vulnerable no matter what the situation is. In order to do so, it is perfectly ok to let them know how they hurt you. family is suppose to be our safe havens. It’s already hard enough in this cold world.

We can create open dialogue and boundaries. Remember even in family we can have boundaries. As a matter of fact, that is the best way to save some of the relationships.


Be you so you can be free.


Mother’s Day is tomorrow. How will you celebrate Mother’s Day 2021? Last year we all had to rethink and come up with a way to honor our mommies. This year some of us are able to gather, while others, unfortunately aren’t able to. No matter if your mom is hear in the flesh or the spirit you can celebrate her.

If you are a mom yourself, please pat yourself on the back, TWICE!!!!!! You are doing an amazing job with your kids. As moms we make the best decisions possible with the information we have. We aren’t always going to get it right. But who said there was a book on being a parent. Also who said parents knew everything or was right all the time. That is the beauty in being a mom. We teach, love, inspire, motivate, and grow. And those are some of the best lessons we can teach our children.

What are your family traditions on Mother’s Day? Will you all do something differently in 2021 due to the circumstances? For me, I just like to enjoy my family intimately. I am not a fan of going out to restaurants or having some grand event. I’d prefer ordering out, because I don’t cook on Mother’s Day, and having a great time at my Moms house. So often when we decide to go out or have an event of some sort, we don’t get to enjoy it sometimes. Because we are so busy entertaining.

Everyone can have a great Mother’s Day 2021. Your circumstances or situation doesn’t define how you choose to enjoy the day. If you are a single mom you can enjoy the day. Mommies who are still nurturing their babies in the womb can celebrate. Bonus moms, surrogate mommies, mother figures who inspire others, and even aspiring moms can have a good day.

The word of the day is LOVE. Focus on giving and sharing love. The love your mother gave to you, that makes you feel good, show to someone else. The love that you hoped to receive, give away. Whatever you define or desire as a mothers love, spread, share, and give it away. But make sure you are the first person to show some love to.

Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!! Have a great amazing day.


Be you so you can be free.


Why do you practice self care and what’s your motivation? That is a great question for all of us to answer. Of course, self care is for you. But what motivates you to get up and make yourself feel good, other than yourself?

My daughter who is going to be someone’s wife one day, someone’s mother one day, and a boss some day.

My sons who are going to be someone’s husband one day, a father one day, and role model to many.

My mother who didn’t have the ability to self care and live the life the she wanted.

My father who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

My grandmother who sacrificed for us all.

My Grandfather who is the head of the family.

My brothers, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends, and coworkers who I share energy with.

Yes self care is for us. However, we must do what is necessary to we are whole. We need to be our best self to offer to family and friends.

However, there are many who benefit from our self care. We are setting an example to our children. While we’re having the courage to take a break and do something that makes us happy, we are inspiring and encouraging others to do the same.

Even, that one person who seems to have it all together is still watching. The one person who you think is judgmental and doesn’t like you is watching and learning from you.

We represent more than ourselves. When we step out we represent our parents, grandparents, spouses, and children.

When one of us is not good it effects the rest of us. If we all are making deposits there is an abundance. However, if everyone is withdrawing we all are depleted.

Who do you self care for? Who do you hope to inspire? What expample do you want to show?


Be you so you can be free.


If you didn’t know it before, I’m here to tell you, single life is a blessing. Embrace and enjoy every minute you have with yourself. There is this misconception that being single is a bad thing and you’re not complete if you’re not in a relationship. Being single is a blessing and gift from God. One can actually have an amazing run at living the single life.

For starters, when living the single life you have time for yourself, to yourself, and by yourself. You don’t have to worry about sharing your time and making sure they feel wanted. Being single is a blessing because you can come and go when you please.

Single life is a blessing because you can invest as much time as you want into your career and achieve your goals so when you’re ready for a relationship you can have time for the relationship. Another benefit to being single is learning, loving, and getting to know you. The more you have time to be with yourself, the more you’ll be able to know exactly what you want in a partner and how you want to be loved.

One being single can have an amazing life. Just because a person is single doesn’t mean they are depressed, bored, and unhappy. When you’re single you can be your own companion and love yourself the way you want to be loved. Having dinner alone is actually a good thing. Taking a vacation and enjoying your time and fruits of your labor alone is a good thing. Yes, single people take vacations all the time and have an amazing experience. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY To All!!!

Relationships are hard work. I often tell people being married is a full time job, it is just as important if not more than the one that pays you. You have to constantly work at the relationship to have a long sustaining meaningful one. Sacrifice and compromise is one thing you don’t have to worry about when you’re single.

Single life allows you to be independent and won’t feel the need to have someone to make you feel whole, accomplished, or complete. Fulfill yourself with those things.

Being Single Is A Blessing

Once you know how to love yourself you’ll be able to show someone how to love you and you’ll be able to receive love. How you treat yourself is how you teach people how to treat you. Love on yourself so good that you’ll find amazing love with a partner one day.

Remember just because someone is married or in a relationship doesn’t mean they are happy and the relationship is good. On the other hand, just because someone is single doesn’t mean they aren’t living a great life or has less significance than someone in a relationship.

Being single is a blessing and gift from God. Don’t let your single life go to waste. Enjoy it.


Be you so you can be free.

It’s Ok…

It Is Ok

To Cry
To Laugh
Take a day off
Not answer the phone
Eat Cake
Say you’re tired
Feel anxious
To Change your mind
Let go and be done
Feel Sad
Feel Nervousness
Experience an episode of depression
Want to splurge and purchase something
Need a vacation
Want a vacation
Like being alone
Move to another city, state, or country
Switch jobs or careers
Disconnect from the world from time to time
Say No
Say Yes
Ask for what you want
Feel how you feel
Be who you are
Protect yourself…or others
Be different
Look different
Try something different
Want to just do nothing
Be confused
Start over…more than once
It is ok to not be ok

It is OK!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


It can be overwhelming when it comes to setting and maintaining goals. Part of self care is setting personal goals. If we set them too high then its easily discouraging when we hit a bump in the road. For me what I’ve learned and what works for me is to set small goals.That will set me up and motivate me to continue on to my larger goal.

Because I have so many ideas and so much I want to do I figured its best for me to begin setting small goals for myself to keep me on track and organized. What Self Care Is NOT

I’ve been slacking on my water intake and my body, skin, and energy has been telling me to get back to drinking more water. To do so I’ve made sure to have a bottle of water beside the bed so in the morning before I do anything. Also on the drive to dropping off my children and picking them up in the afternoon I make sure I have a bottle of water. Side note: having a bottle of water in the car on the ride to and from school eliminates me wanting to stop at Starbucks.

My next goal for the week was to finish the paper work needed to start a project that I’ve been wanting to do. I’ve researched for the last several months and now its time for me to take the next steps and do the legwork. This goal seems simple yet its going to keep me line and make sure I not get side tracked and jump all over the place, because lets face it that can happen.

Working out is an essential part of my self care. I must workout at least 4-5 days a week. At this point my workout is mostly for my mental sometimes. The ability to clear my head and refocus is the best therapy for me sometimes. Now when I say schedule, no I don’t write it down, but its me staying in my routine. Typically for me I workout maybe three days straight then take a day off and then go another two days. I do a mix of aerobics, strength training, and of course walking.

The last and most important is an ongoing goal, personally, staying positive no matter what. My everyday corporate job can be mentally draining and stressful sometimes, I have three children in elementary, middle, and high school, and helping my mother is quite a feast I have to eat weekly. However, I wouldn’t change a thing. Staying positive, motivated, staying in the moment, releasing my tension when I have to, and not losing myself is my goal.

I love taking care of my family and being able to have my sense of self. It’s something I believe I can handle and have at the same time.

Setting and maintaining goals is something personal to you. Figure out what your ultimate goal is. Write it down. Set small goals to get you to where you want to go. This give a visual and won’t overwhelm you. Some of us can’t set a big goal and stick to it. We get side tracked, and discouraged.

Finally, its ok to not have a big goal like starting a business or writing a book. It can be as simple as drinking more water. Whatever it is that will get you to where you want to be set the goal.


Be you so you can be free.