”Other people’s idea of you is not your responsibility to live up to.” – Unknown
The number one reason many are unhappy, stressed, or emotionally tired is because they are trying to live up to someone’s else’s idea of who and what they should be. We never want to let others down. Especially our loved ones. However, even trying to “live” up to a loved one expectation of you, can be very damaging to your mental and emotional health. Growing up my mother had her own idea of what college I should attend. She wanted me to attend nursing school so bad, but that was her dream. If you find yourself trying to prove to anyone you’re good enough or prove your value then you have to take your own power back. WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM THE DISEASE TO PLEASE In doing so, don’t even verbally express what you are going to do. Redirect your life and path to what you actually want to do or be. When you begin to live in your desires and what makes you happy, the benefit is for you and any relationship. Each day you’ll wake up ready to live through the day. The anxiety of what lies ahead no longer hold you hostage. The relationships that are meant to be, will be. But living for you, without seeking permission, or second guessing is the most freeing feeling. Enjoy your day!!!!!!
”My goal is not to be better than anyone else, but to be better than I used to be.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
If we don’t like the way we feel, we have the absolute power and right to change it. If we want to do something or have a thought, goal, or dream we can make it happen. In no way are we supposed to be the same person we were yesterday, a year ago, five years ago, or 10 years ago. Growth is supposed to happen. Simply focusing on your growth, happiness, and journey is what will keep you at peace. My happiness is my responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility. Do whatever makes you feel at peace within, calming to wake up each day, and be safe emotionally. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS The truth is happiness looks and feel different for everyone. Hence, why we should keep certain things to ourselves. I was speaking with a client and she was telling how her and her husband wanted another child. Even though she received much push back due to her being in her early 40’s she still decided to proceed with her plans. She explained how she didn’t let other people comments and opinions sway her desires. Sometimes we have to keep in mind that some people are placing their limited beliefs they have for themselves onto us. Not everyone will understand your happy. They aren’t supposed to. Focus on you. Support others. Don’t compare yourself. Each day strive to be better and do better for you. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!
”Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” – Khaled Hosseini
”The truth hurts.” I think we all heard this since birth growing up. Why? Because it really does hurt. When faced with the truth there are some tough decisions and choices you’re going to have to make. Those decisions will effect relationships, your finances, and life circumstances. We often avoid them because the unknown side effects are unbearable to think about. However, imagine the internal pain and sometimes physical pain we cause ourselves when trying to justify what we know to be a lie. We make excuses, blame ourselves, give empty boundaries and consequences, blame other people, outside circumstances, and eventually give multiple chances. We just keep adding commas when a period or exclamation point should have ended it. TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS The relationship, job, financial budgeting, goals, health, dieting, exercising, and many other things we move the goal post on. Yes it’s so much easier to deal with the truth on the front end than back end. It saves time, money, and heart ache. If we don’t take care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally we have mental breakdowns, stress causing health problems, lack of sleep, and poor habits. When saying I need a day off is so much easier. Getting that check up and catching things early or preventing is better than a diagnosis. Taking care of your home and vehicle maintenance is better than spending thousands of dollars on the back end. No matter what area of your life it is, facing the truth, acknowledging the truth, and conquering it head on will be better for your wellbeing all around. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!
” Sometimes happiness looks like staying home, minding your business, telling people no, and doing you.” – Myleik Teele
Please don’t get fooled by social media thinking you have to spend your life savings going on extravagant vacations, wearing expensive clothes, and having the latest IPhone. You can be happy taking a mini vacay to the next town over. Sight seeing, eating good food, and learning something new closer to home. Spending money on the latest trends requires a lot of time and money trying to keep up. No matter what you wear you define the outfit. Find your style and wear it with confidence. Labels doesn’t add value to you. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO Create an environment at home to where you don’t ever want to leave. Not only ensure it’s comfy, inviting, and secure, but make sure your home is safe mentally and emotionally. Declutter, clean, and infuse your home with scents of calm. This will allow for your home to give you a safe space mentally and emotionally. Happiness is being secure in who you are and not worry about what others are doing or what they have. How they live their life isn’t your business. The most freeing feeling is telling someone “no” without giving any explanation. So often we feel we need to explain why we’re declining an invitation, doesn’t want to do a favor, or be bothered. Happiness is simple, calm, and doesn’t require much. Enjoy the rest your day!!!!!
”The silent treatment is a normalized form of emotional abuse. Part of maturing is learning how to communicate, rather than using silence as punishment.” Dr. Nicole Lepera
Just like not forgiving someone, giving someone the silent treatment hurts us worst than the other person. We think we’re hurting them by not talking. But we truly are hurting ourselves more, by not telling them how they made us feel. Thus resulting in repeated behaviors. If they don’t know how they hurt us, then they won’t know how to avoid it or preventing it from happening again. In turn when receiving the silent treatment we hurt ourselves by trying to prove, over compensate, or reverse the silence. When someone gives you the silent treatment and not communicate how you may have hurt them, it has everything to do with their conflict resolution skills. Instead of lashing out, they’ve probably had to cope alone as a child and navigate things on their own. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING Also the silence can be interpreted as the person or relationship isn’t valued enough to talk it out. Even if you’re so angry that you need to cool off before discussing something, at least inform them of that. Let them know you need to cool before having a sensible conversation. Either way communication skills and conflict resolution is key when having disagreements. Have a great day!!!!!
”I will never fit in.That’s one of my best qualities.”- Terri Willingham
I will always go against the grain. I learned in my early teen years when I was going to an all girl high school, that it is better to stand out than fit in. I will never forget that piece of advice. How you dress, talk, where your hair, what you watch and listen to, and everything in between has to be you. Even your view points on life, social, political, and economic issues. It is ok to have a different viewpoint. It is ok to think differently or want different than the masses. Sometimes we give in to the norm in fear of standing alone or seeming out of bounds. But when you stand alone, you are the strongest, toughest, and most courageous. You had the strength to stand firm in who you are, what you believe, and what’s best for you. Because of that, you will unknowingly inspire others. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE OUT THERE The best thing I heard all week was this woman in a store having a conversation with her coworker about exercising and trying to look good for her newlywed husband. The coworker told her she should want to workout to keep him. She said “I love the fat on my body. It’s in the right places and I don’t care what no one thinks of me. I love my body.” She said it with so much confidence and made her coworker think. No matter what you’re faced with in life it’s important to always think for you, make decisions for you, and live for you. Everything else will fall into place as they should. Enjoy the rest of your day.
”Things have a miraculous way of working out. Trust that.”- Idil Ahmed
If I don’t know anything else, the one thing I do know is everything works out just fine. What do I mean by just fine? Well it probably won’t work out how you thought, expected, planned, or wanted but it works out how it supposed to. How the universe aligned it to. How God meant for it to work out for you. Also, it not only work out how it supposed to but when it supposed to. Most often it will come at a time we’ve given up, stop trying, or forgot about it because it didn’t happen when we wanted it to. That’s because we don’t know what’s best. When things doesn’t work out how you wanted or when, don’t get discouraged. Be grateful that you were protected from something you had no idea was around the corner. Sometimes the pain, frustration, and delay in our plans comes from us wanting to be in control so much. Trust the process. Trust yourself. Trust that no matter what, it will work out for the better. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: TRUST YOURSELFEmbrace what you didn’t see coming and let go of what you thought was best. Too often our expectations let us down and prevent us from realizing the gifts we are given. Trust that everything will work out how it supposed to for your benefit. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!
Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.” -Kyle Freedman
When we receive criticism or feedback from someone we don’t even know, it effects us more than receiving it from close family and friends. Or taking to heart criticism from someone who hasn’t walked in our shoes, experienced what we’ve experienced, or basically on the same level as us. Just think about how so many people are affected by comments they receive on social media. Before you know it, they slowly change certain things about themselves due to comments. Others people opinion or criticism does not and cannot devalue you. Nothing they say or do holds any kind of weight in your life. What they say, think, or feel doesn’t matter. 6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME Caring what others think or say means we value them, their wisdom, and expertise. You trust that they’ve experienced something similar, received your desired results, and they have first hand knowledge. Furthermore, those that know our story won’t give criticism in a manner that hurts our feelings or makes us feel less than. So the next time you receive unwanted criticism just remember you didn’t ask them for it and let it roll in one ear and out the other. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!
Life itself is a privilege, but to livelife to the fullest-well, that is a choice.”- Andy Andrews
We all literally have the power to make our life what we want. Who is stopping us. Fear, money, approval from others, embarrassment to make certain choices, and life circumstances are all reasons we don’t fully live the life we want. Then on the other hand I see those that pick up and move to another state because they want to start over or that was always a dream of theirs. Then there is those that quit their secure paying job with benefits to start their business or fulfill their dream. I’ve spoken to clients who says they are buying an RV and just going to travel around and wherever they end up that’s where they’ll be until they are ready to go. I admire those. Because so often we’re told to have our ducks in a row. We can do everything right. Save and have an emergency fund. Plan the right time to buy that home, have a kid, switch careers, and go on vacation. But what I know to be true is, life never stops. There are going to be some things that throws a wrench in our plans. You have every right to live your ONE life how you see fit. There aren’t any do overs here. You can make the choices you want to live the life you want. You only get one life. We can’t even do over a day, hour, or minute. Don’t let fear and other factors stop you from taking that leap of faith. FEAR IS A WASTE OF TIME You can start over as many times as you can. It’s better to try to see how that dream plays out than to always think about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. Enjoy the rest of your day.
“Don’t let the concept of change scare you as much as the concept of staying unhappy.” -Timber Hawkeye
Why do we fear change? It’s the unknown of what’s going to happen. We aren’t in control. The fear of failure has us fearing change. We are used to our routine. The comfort zone we’re in, we psych ourselves out to stay in. But is continuing getting the same you’re getting better than trying something new. If we already are unhappy why not channel that energy and try something new. As we try something new and embracechange we are learning and evolving. We weren’t meant to be here and not grow. Change is good. Change is growth. Change is healing. Change is opportunity. Change is freedom. If you’re tired of the same ole same ole, ask yourself “what am I scared of?” Let go of wanting to be in control. Sometimes we have to release that control. So often what we think is best isn’t the best. Letting go and letting the universe guide you, will be more beneficial than you ever thought. The outcome will be greater than you expected. Embrace the unknown. No way we will ever be able to know everything. Going in blindly is the best learning experiencementally and emotionally. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE Don’t psych yourself out. You are smarter than you think. Braver than you think. Stronger than you think. Tougher than you think. Embracechange and grow through it. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!