” Sometimes happiness looks like staying home, minding your business, telling people no, and doing you.” – Myleik Teele
Please don’t get fooled by social media thinking you have to spend your life savings going on extravagant vacations, wearing expensive clothes, and having the latest IPhone. You can be happy taking a mini vacay to the next town over. Sight seeing, eating good food, and learning something new closer to home. Spending money on the latest trends requires a lot of time and money trying to keep up. No matter what you wear you define the outfit. Find your style and wear it with confidence. Labels doesn’t add value to you. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO Create an environment at home to where you don’t ever want to leave. Not only ensure it’s comfy, inviting, and secure, but make sure your home is safe mentally and emotionally. Declutter, clean, and infuse your home with scents of calm. This will allow for your home to give you a safe space mentally and emotionally. Happiness is being secure in who you are and not worry about what others are doing or what they have. How they live their life isn’t your business. The most freeing feeling is telling someone “no” without giving any explanation. So often we feel we need to explain why we’re declining an invitation, doesn’t want to do a favor, or be bothered. Happiness is simple, calm, and doesn’t require much. Enjoy the rest your day!!!!!
This week I decided to set myself some expectations. Each day I wake up and get so into routine and habit that I forget to just be sometimes. Yes, routines and habits are good. However, living and just being is equally important. Also I’m trying to check some gifts off the list that the kids gave us as well as for others. Lastly, still settling in on my new position and not let that take too much of my mental space.
Sunday: I slept in. Late summer I transitioned into a new position and it has tested me to no end. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY It was a little rough Friday, but after a pep talk and break I was ready to go. This weekend I realized I needed to give myself some grace and relax. My routine became so solid that I really hadn’t been giving myself a day off. Saturday and Sunday I would work around the house, do errands, and clean. Before I know it, I’ve literally worked 7 days a week. So the goal this weekend was to give myself some days off. It started yesterday when “I let the day come to me.” Thus continuing today. I’m not “working” today. It’s the sabbath. I’ve already went and got me a latte. Now I’m going to sit down and watch football. Later in the evening left overs was on the menu, I worked out, and finished relaxing. After giving myself permission and grace to relax not only my body, but my mind I’m ready for the start of the week.
Monday: I’m going into this work week still giving myself some grace. Instead of trying to hit my 5 milestones I’m going to focus on the one ahead. I’ve made the mistake the last two weeks trying to accomplish every milestone at once. We are given six weeks to accomplish them, however in my mind I have to accomplish them all at once. Because I know I can accomplish them I’m just rushing myself to get there. But anyway, morning routine went well. Temperatures are extremely cold. However, my teenagers don’t believe in winter coats and it pains me. Later on today we are expecting our first couple inches of snow. Of course we’re getting sleet first, then freezing temps, and then full snow flakes. Which makes road conditions terrible. After work, I decided to do a quick tidy round up because I’m trying to preserve weekends off, for that, being off. So in my mind if I do a round up 20-30 minutes after I get off I’m good to go. During that time I had dinner cooking so when I’m done, I could workout and turn in early. My plan for the evening went as planned, however I stayed up a little late watching the snow fall. It was the pretty soft snow flakes. We ended up getting more than expected.
Tuesday: Waking up to the first snow day feels weird. It doesn’t feel like it’s that time of the year but it is. Morning starts off great and heading into work I’m feeling good. I decided to take off after lunch time. It’s something my husband and I do every so often. We’ll either take a full day off together or a half a day. Just to be together. Typically do our coffee run at our favorite cafe. Had a meeting that went pretty well at work today and made some plans for the near future. School wasn’t cancelled even though we received more snow than expected. It’s still cold and the older I get I can’t handle it like I used to. After work I decided to do some errands, cook, couple loads of laundry, workout, and I was able to turn in by 9. Lately I had to give myself a bed time or end time. I chose 9pm. Whatever isn’t done, said, or happened has to wait until the next day. So far that has been working for me. The only thing that has my hands itching, is my desire to put up my Christmas decorations. For some reason Christmas is getting out there early. The commercials, Black Friday ads and sales, and some has started decorating their homes, has me wanting to put mine up. But I’ll let thanksgiving have its time.
Wednesday: So the last couple of days I’ve been have trouble with congestion at night and in the morning. It is the most nerve racking thing. But other than that, my mornings have been great. Each morning I make sure to put myself into a state of doing what I can and not over working myself. The kids have a half day today. We’re finalizing our Thanksgiving plans this week as it quickly snuck up on us. After work I made a quick errand to pick up the rest of my husband birthdaygift. The kids were in relax mode and didn’t want to hang out. After he got off work we decided to go make some errands and visit my aunt before it was time for my son to get off work. We have been doing great so far, even started Christmas shopping early. I decided to give my body a break and not work out. Later in the evening after leaving my aunts house and picking up my son, I took me a hot bath, read a couple articles(I’ve been enjoying great inspirational and motivational articles on mahogany.com), and put head to pillow.
Thursday: I’m giving myself some grace today and taking the second half of the day off. It is my husband birthday. He has a meeting so I’m going to get the kids from school and prepare for dinner. We have dinner plans tonight as well as parent teacher conferences. Work went well. I had a great meeting with my coach today. Making the decision in my mind to change my mindset, has really helped me transition fully into this position. It’s still brutally cold out. But later while waiting for my husband to return from his meeting I folded some loads, did a quick tidy around the house, and prepared for the weekend. Later in the evening we had a great dinner. My husband enjoyed his gifts and a night out. Once back home we had cake before capping the night off to bed. This last couple of weeks I’ve added some tips, tricks, and items to my night routine. The family as a whole fell ill to the seasonal bug. For some reason mine has decided to linger and I needed help to relax and breathe at night. Dr. Teals Aromatherapy Sleep Wellness Candle, Dr Teals Body Wash with Pure Epsom Salt Sleep Bath with Melatonin and EssentialOils, and oil diffuser with Eucalyptus oil. Those combined has helped me relax, get some sleep, and rest. The body wash I usually use as bubble bath. I typically would light the candle about an hour before I plan to lay down right before my skincare night routine and bath/shower. That way the candle has had time to fill the room.
Friday: It’s a great morning as we round off a good week. The kids are excited because they have an entire week off for the Thanksgiving holiday. However, my oldest son isn’t feeling the best. But he wants to tough it out because he has a couple of tests today. He still thinks he can go out in single digits every morning with just a hoodie on. So far my work day is great, my meeting with my coach is great, and I’m settling into my position. The plan is to clean this weekend to pull out the Christmas tree. I like to have the tree out for about a week before decorating to let it naturally fall. Later in the evening we decided to get some dinner and relax. The kids wanted to relax and it’s still brutally cold out.
Saturday: Again I’m giving myself some grace. I aloud myself to slowly wake up and get out of bed. I usually get up, get dressed, and get to working on my weekendroutine. WEEKEND SELF CARE TO DO LIST I always like to use the weekend to do little projects like clean a closet, clean the fridge, clean out cabinets, or shred mail. Along with doing the usual cleaning around the home. But today I said I was going to give myself some time to let the day come and do what I can. That’s exactly what I did. It felt good and I was able to proceed with the day as it came. However I was able to accomplish getting 2 more Christmas gifts. I have this goal to be done shopping kinda early. Because my kids are older the list is smaller and all they want to do is hang out. One of the biggest things I’m learning in my new position is to set expectations. We set expectations with clients, with supervisors, coaches, and in meetings. My expectations I set for myself this week was to give myself some grace. Get a couple gifts checked off the list and stick to my cut off time at night. I’m glad I was able to accomplish that without guilt. If you’re wanting to make some adjustments or change some habits set yourself some expectations. I’m ready to head into next week with some expectations.
Have a great week!!!!!!!
P.S. Weekly blog is designed to show the realistic day in the life of a mom, wife, and working professional balancing life, the kids, work, marriage, and herself.
There are many things that we hold on to, carry, and simmer in that is bad for our mental and emotional health. Getting rid of all the negative thoughts, opinions, and views that we place on ourselves or accepted from others will definitely get us on the right track.
–Fear. Most of the the time it’s fear of what others think. Or the fear of the unknown. Either way let it go. Others point of view and opinions doesn’t define you. In the same breath, fearing the unknown isn’t going to help your growth.
–Anger. Holding on to anger causes wrinkles, heart attacks, stress, frown lines, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, weight gain on the other hand, and other fatigue that causes your entire wellness to deteriorate. While you’re holding on to that anger that situation is long gone, that person has slept peacefully, and you’ve lost time. Let it go for your mental sake.
–Resentment. Resenting someone or something requires you to hold and relive the past. How is that helping you? It’s not. Forgive. Understand the why. Learn the lesson. Create space. Move on. Let it go. Resentment isn’t hurting the other person it’s hurting you. Don’t continue to hurt yourself trying to hurt someone else.
–Guilt. Is a total waste of time. It isn’t going to change the past. Getting rid of guilt allows you to free yourself. A great reminder about feeling guilty is “you aren’t responsible for others happiness.” Let them carry their own weight. You can encourage them but not carry it for them.
–Overthinking. Letting go of overthinking will free you to actually be productive. As long as you are thinking about all the “what ifs”, you’re not doing. Stop thinking about it, and do. If you’re worried about a situation let it play out how it suppose to. Most of the time what we want or think is best isn’t the best.
–Toxic Relationships. This is a no brainer. You know who you need to get rid of. No one has to remind you or tell you who’s not good for you. If you hesitate to answer a certain person call, then it’s time to put distance in that relationship. Who ever makes your moodchange when they come around requires distance. It’s perfectly ok to love from a distance.
–Feeling of not being enough. You are perfectly you because God created you how He wanted. If God says you’re enough then no one on this earth can change that. Know it. Believe it. Feel it.
–Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. Perfection doesn’t exist. You’re just going to be a hamster on wheel chasing something imaginary. Let go of the wanting or liking to be or appear perfect. Everyone on this earth has flaws and kinks about them.
–Control. Trying to control everything and everyone is driving you crazy. You are losing sleep. Your focus and concentration is off. Wanting to have control is a sign of some internal healing that needs to take place. Ask yourself why do I feel the need to have control. That will lead you to the path of clarity.
–Doubt. Just do it. Doubting yourself is wasting time. It isn’t going to effect the outcome one way or another. The only thing doubt does, is kill your confidence and self esteem. Get rid of the doubt and go for your dreams. You can plan everything down to the minute, but something always throws a wrench in our plans. Do your best and forget the rest.
–The past. That’s long gone and ain’t coming back. (Yes I said ain’t.) The past isn’t going to change, won’t change, and doesn’t care about the now. Living in the past is stopping you from experiencing your life presently. Don’t rob yourself of happiness by reliving the past.
Those are 12 things you need to toss away to better your mental health. Yes, we’ve experienced some bad relationships and circumstances but most of our mental health issues comes from self inflicted pain. Don’t do others dirty work and constantly hurt yourself. Clean up those insecurities, bad habits, and negative ways of thinking to boost your mental and emotionalwellness.
We’ve all heard the term “you can’t run on an empty cup”. There are several ways we can fill our cup to ensure the overall health of our wellness. Here are 8 ways I fill my cup for myself before pouring into others.
-Binge watch a show you’ve recorded, been wanting to watch, or just heard so much about. I find when I make it point to sit down and watch TV, and the show is good, I get me in a good couch potato moment. Because the show is so good I can’t stop watching it. Thus I’ve had some much needed relaxing time for my body and brain not thinking about work, chores, kids activities, or anything else.
-Put the phone down. I’ve been filling my cup with this wellnesstip very much lately. First I’m lazy. I don’t like holding the phone, talking on it too long, nor do I have the desire to text a whole dissertation. Because I’ve deleted my social media ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED it’s enabled me to become more creative in other areas. Challenge yourself to put the phone down. If you can’t, find something productive to read or watch a motivational video. It helps so much for your mental health.
-Have a private dance party session. So I get these in after I work out or clean up. I have my ear buds in and while I’m stretching or doing a cool down I make sure to dance and sing so loud as if I’m actually in a club. This allows my alter ego to let lose. Get funny and do things that you definitely will not have the confidence to do outside.
-Indulge in your favorite meal. Don’t deprive yourself because you need to watch your diet due to medical reasons or trying to remain physically fit. Every once in a while treat yourself to your favorite meal. You deserve it and earned it with all your hard work.
-Get some fresh air. Get outside. It doesn’t just have to be a walk. You can garden if that is your pass time of choice. Talk to a neighbor. Go walk the dog. Stand on the porch for a few minutes. Fresh air is one of the best ways to clear your mind and get an instant refresh.
-Have some me time. Take care of you. Pamper yourself. Clean your car. Change your home around. Get some new photos or decor up to recharge. Me time isn’t always about mani and pedi, facials, and going to the salon. Although that is important. But when I take my car to the car wash I have me time. Trying a new recipe and really working hard for it to come out great is me time as well. Do something that makes you feel free.
”Jobs fill your pocket, adventures fill your soul.”
-Have a good conversation with yourself. Talk to you about how you’re feeling. What has you upset or feeling anxious. How did you handle a situation you wish you could have done differently. Talk to yourself aloud and be honest with yourself. Only you know how you feel and what you really desire and think. THE ONLY PERSON YOU OWE IS…YOU
-Watch a motivational video or Ted Talk. I did not realize how much these videos open my eyes to a new perspective, idea, or communication. In addition to teaching me about myself and what my bad habits are. What I’ve done to hurt others or said. Even though we may have the best intentions, sometimes it doesn’t come out right or it isn’t the best timing. While cooking and cleaning I love to get in a good motivational video.
Those are 8 wellnesstips I use to fill my cup before I pour into others. We can’t be of service to others and ourselves if we aren’t doing the work. Filling your own cup first, set an example. Sometimes we don’t have to say anything. Just by you practicing better habits and becoming a better you, will inspire someone else. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE OUT THERE Be well!!!!!
”Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do. Not a punishment for what you do.”-Women’s Health UK
I was one of those who dreaded working out. It was more of a chore instead of me making it apart of my dailylifestyle. Once I made the decision to do the workouts that benefited my body and more importantly what body was capable of doing, it became fun. My husband would do all these extreme workouts and programs, that worked great for him. But when I tried my body didn’t respond, I didn’t enjoy it, and I lost interest and motivation. Yes, there is a great deal of content on exercise. But experiment until you find your niche. Now I can’t go a day without going for a walk. I get more results walking and doing minor strength training than following any program out there. But that what works for me. Find something fun, that you can’t wait to do each day. And you don’t just have to stick to that one thing, variety is your friend when it comes to exercise. Lastly, we only get one body. When we get older we can’t trade it in for a new one. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!
“Focus on the solution, not the problem.”-@meditationmoments
One of the biggest factors that keeps us in a funk or dark place is dwelling on what happened. We’ve told the story a million times over. The situation is on repeat in our head. We can’t sleep, eat, work, or do anything else. What we focus on and put our energy into is what we become. So instead of repeating the problem or situation that happened, think of solutions to correct the problem. What do you need to learn from it? How can this problem be avoided in the future? Focusing your attention and energy on the solution will lift your spirits, give you motivation to move forward in your dailylife, and heighten your awareness. WE HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE A CHOICE Yes, we do need to acknowledge the problem. How it happened and what our role was in it. After that, redirect your attention to the solution. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!!!
”Sometimes you don’t get what you want because you deserve better.”-@myselflovesupply
Are you asking too small? Many times when we receive a “no” we are devastated and disappointed. In fact sometimes we give up on that hope, dream, or goal. When in actuality, that “no” was a protection from ourselves. What we want or think we want is often not the best for us. So God has to protect us from our own self. It’s a correction, protection, and redirection. Don’t get discouraged. Ask yourself, what am I supposed to do with this “no”. God what are you trying to tell me? GOD IS A KEEPER How many times have a circumstance actually played out and you said, “I’m glad I didn’t get what I thought I was going to get.” It’s because the one thing that we want so bad may not be the best. You deserve the best. Are you asking for the best? Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!!
”Motivation is what get’s you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”-@thewomenglow
How many times have you started over? How many times have you started something new? Just think of every New Year, we have all these resolutions and goals. But it seems we don’t even make it through the first month. The first step is great. Having the will, motivation, and courage to want something new and different. QUICK MONDAY MORNING MOTIVATIONAL TIP The problem lies when we don’t become consistent and persistent on what we start. Creating small habits will enhance the motivation and keep your drive going. It’s perfectly normal and ok, to want to try many different things in life. We all are multifaceted. When engaging something new it’s important to understand and know your why. Then have a plan on how you’re going to navigate this new experience. Lastly, enjoy whatever this new experience offer and learn from the bumps in the road. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!
”Mind is a beautiful servant, but a dangerous master.” – Buddha
We are very good at thinking negatively. Replaying the worst situations and experiences that has occurred in our life is easy to do. If the mind is that powerful, then we can retrain and reprogram to think of a beautiful life. Replay your dream day in the life over and over again and watch it come to reality. SELF CONFIDENCE BEGINS WITH THE MIND Dream up your family, home, vacations, and career you have been wanting. It will all come to pass. Just as all the negative that comes to pass when we speak it up. The mind is a powerful thing. Use it for the good. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!
On this Monday morning, I wanted to bring you a quick motivational tip. Play the hand you are dealt. Come to a place where you are able to handle whatever hand is dealt to you. I had made plans (more like an outline of the coming week and month) this weekend and was ready to rock and roll, but about 3a.m.my son became sick. I was up all night due to his belly ache. (No he doesn’t have the virus. He got sick from some pizza we ordered.)
Anyway, that completely threw a wrench in my plans. But I was able to look at the positive and say, I’ll be able to work from home full time today. God knows I’ve been wanting to put work into my blog and other ventures. So, he gave me another day off to do so. Even though I told my boss at work I’d be there. Thank God he understands, I still have school aged children.
But the point is to take what’s given to you and make it work for you. Don’t let it completely spoil your day, week, or month. Whatever your needs are God has already taken care of. Those cards that are dealt to you, play them and play them well. It’s not always going to turn out how we want. But it will be for the best. Don’t waste time worrying about what was on the calendar. Rearrange it and move forward.
I’m truly enjoying sitting here encouraging one person. I know I’m not the only one who had a wrench thrown into their plans. I can get things done either way. No matter if I’m at the office or my home office. I’m grateful either way. 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL
So go about your day or week. Play that hand you were dealt and win with it. God gave you those cards to play, so they are a winning hand. I’m going to continue to enjoy my day while my son rests. That’s all I have for this quick Monday morning motivational tip.
Have a great day, week, month, or whenever you are reading this!!!!!!!!!❤️
RosalynLynn
Be you so you can be free.
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