4 WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE ON THE PATH OF HEALING

We have so much material on how to know we’re suffering from a mental or emotional breakdown. However, there are signs to know when you’ve grown. Here are a couple of emotional wellness tips to know when you’ve grown.

First the things that used to trigger you no longer has an effect on you. You know you’ve grown emotionally when you don’t even realized you’ve experience a trigger that you used to have. The things that used to set you off, get you sad, or make you withdrawn doesn’t even touch you. This means you’ve reached a point to where you acknowledge the trigger, understand it, and let it go.

The second way to know you’ve grown emotionally is you respond with grace. You aren’t mad or upset. The desire to be sarcastic or prove your point isn’t there. You are at peace with the situation or relationship. You can wish them well, be in the same room, and your energy isn’t off. That person doesn’t have power over you. You’ve regained your control back.

Thirdly, your mind isn’t constantly occupied with the what ifs. You know longer think about what could have been. Nor do you think how you should have responded or what you wish you would have said. The idea of being anxious about a situation isn’t weighing you down.

Lastly, you see yourself having more good days than bad days. You find yourself smiling and laughing more. The desire to want to get out, enjoy fresh air, be around people, and move is becoming greater. The feeling of being free and lighter is shown through your body language and smile. Overall, you are happy being you.

The ability to overcome, let things go MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL: JUST LET IT GO, and be at peace is a great gift we can all give to ourselves. However, it is a process and it takes time. Be patient in the process. We all will get to where we want to go.

Those are just 4 things that could let you know you’re beginning to grow. There are many other signs to know you are growing. But if you’re experiencing any of the above, then you are headed on the right track.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH WELLNESS TIP: ONE STEP AT A TIME

We’ve all heard the saying ”look at the bigger picture.” Well sometimes it’s in our best interest to take one step at a time. Mentally and emotioanlly we may not be able to look at things on a grand scale. In order to get where we need to go, focusing on the first step and building from there will be more beneficial.

Sure we can have an end goal or a larger picture to see, but for our sanity each step is an accomplishment in certain situations. A house doesn’t become a house all at once. You have to build it brick by brick. An author doesn’t start with a full book, it’s word by word.

Focusing on one step at a time allows you to build confidence. STRENGTH Your vision becomes more clear with each step. You’re able to hold your head a little higher with each step. As you take your steps to your goal, you’ll gain awareness, compassion, and intelligence for yourself and the process. The learning and realization of what you’re becoming increases your confidence and self esteem along the way.

Because you are taking one step at a time, the lights are getting brighter, and eventually your vision broadens. Overtime you begin to see the ”bigger picture”. Until we focus on the foundation, the why, what and how, we won’t be able to see the bigger picture.

Some of us are in a mental state to where we can’t even lift a foot. Find your courage and strength to lift your foot to take the first step. With each step, pat yourself on the back, and take the next step. Don’t let others tell you how to proceed, how fast you should go, and where you should be in the process.

Focus on the next step until you feel you’re able to see more. Every little step is progress.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH: 6 TIPS TO BOOST SELF ESTEEM

Feeling down on yourself, I’ve been there. Boost your self esteem with these simple tips. They are free and simple. The transformation starts on the inside and then moves to the outside. Our mental and emotional is very important. However, the outside must match the inside. The insecurities we face about our looks can heavily effect our mental and emotional health.

The first thing to do is not compare yourself to what you see on television, internet, print, and every other place that is filtered. No one body is perfect. Nor is their skin perfect. Accept every ounce of weight, stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkle, pimple, and big toe. Side note: The big toe was for me. My second toe is bigger than my first toe. And, I have a six head not a forehead. But who cares. The key here is, our flaws is what makes us unique and stand out from the rest. I know for me, I want to look like me.

Once you’re able to love all of you, you can then dress and style yourself to your body. There are many clothing brands out there. Find the right style, comfort, and fit for you. If you are worried about your shirts, start with having the right bra. Sometimes having a bra with full coverage makes a world of difference. It’s the simple things that we can correct that will make a huge difference. If you’re worried about your mid section, don’t buy low rise nothing. That only makes you accentuate areas you don’t want. The point is to learn your curves and work with them.

After that, boost your self esteem with a hair cut, color, or style. Sometimes we can hold on to a style and it will make us look more worn out that we are. Refresh with new hair to give yourself a new attitude. My philosophy is ”it’s only hair, it will grow back.” My hair is usually the first thing to change when I need a shift change or mood booster. Short, long, curly, straight, black or highlighted I’ve done it all. Recreate yourself and see yourself into a new light. How To Boost Your Confidence With Daily Self Care

Get out of a funk and boost your mood by just window shopping. Get out of the house. Go to a mall or store and just browse. Walk around and get outfit ideas. Figure new ways to decorate your home. Look at different foods for new recipes. And what do you know, you’ll see someone you know. Have a great conversation and forget why you were in a funk in the first place. On the other hand, you just might find a stranger and have a conversation. Either way you have opened your mind and heart to receive some good energy. I’ve done this many times to boost myself up.

Feeling down on your luck, get dressed up and dolled up to do nothing. This is the easiest self esteem boost tip you can do. Unconsciously, I’ve done this and didn’t realize it. I’ll wake up and before you know it I’m walking around on Sunday morning in a face full of makeup. But the rest of the day, I’m happy. Every time you walk pass a mirror you enjoy looking at yourself and that instantly boosts your self esteem.

Lastly, if you’re not in a good mood accept an invite. We get so used to making excuses and not accepting invites that we’ve forced ourselves into loneliness. Just because you’ve never been to an event like the one you were invited to doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it. You never know who you’ll meet. I received job opportunities by having lunch with someone.

I know the best thing to do is to get up, get out, and move. Make yourself look good, so you can feel good, and then be able to receive good. When our self esteem is low, we aren’t able to see good in anything. When in actuality, the good is there. There are many more ways to boost your self esteem. But start with what you have to boost your self esteem and then build up. We have to shift our mind to focus on the positive.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

THE LONGER YOU WORRY, THE MORE TIME WASTED

Worrying is useless.The more time we spend worrying about something, the more time we are wasting. It took me a long time to realize, worrying isn’t going to change the situation. What happened has already happened and can’t be undone. Worrying isn’t going to make the time go by faster. We often think if we drive our selves crazy worrying, then time will speed up. Therefore, reaching the solution faster.

As we are wasting time worrying, we are losing sleep. Our focus is on the outcome of whatever we are worrying about. We’ve missed appointments, phone calls, and even our favorite program on television. The time we spend worrying we are frustrated, angry, and hyper sensitive. During this time, we probably have argued over something that makes no sense. In the meantime, the person we are arguing with have no idea where the anger is coming from. Furthermore, we are tense and have a short fuse, those around us feel the pressure and most likely is walking on egg shells.

Now, if we were to look back on the times we worried ourselves sick, the solution was right in front of us. The end result wasn’t as bad as we thought. The event turned out just fine. That one guest you wanted to show, showed up. On the other hand, that one guest you didn’t want to show up, didn’t. You were able to pay that bill. The financial situation worked itself out. The mistake you made really didn’t have the ripple effect you thought. That person you thought was mad at you, was going through something personal. Therefore, they needed their space.

No matter how bad you think the situation is, worrying about it is a waste of time. You worrying isn’t going to speed up the resolution. Nor is it going to change the outcome. The best thing we can do is relax. God has already won the battle for us.

The next time you find yourself worrying, pause for a moment. Remind yourself you have done all that you can do. It is out of your hands. Therefore, it is out of your control. 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL Once it’s out of your control, let it go. The solution is there, you just haven’t accessed it yet. Keep yourself busy and when the solution arrives, you’ll say “I worried myself to death for nothing.”

Worrying is useless and a waste of time. I know its easier said than done, but actively try to not worry.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WELLNESS: EVEN THE STRONGEST NEEDS A BREAK

Just because you can handle the pressure and weight everyone places on you doesn’t mean you have to take it. The toughest and strongest of them all even needs a break. I know first hand how it feels to not want to let family and friends down, because they are counting on you. You often times feel obligated. Some of us have grown up to believe that no matter what, we’re supposed to extend and over extend because it is “family”.

Even in the workplace, you can get stretched thin because you’re so dang good, that your boss and everyone else asks you to handle tasks that isn’t your duty or responsibility. They’ve probably taken your kindness of helping them out that one time and ran with it. Now without thinking, they put “little” task off you that amount to more work. It seemly has became your duty because you’ve helped a few times and they’ve passed the buck. Less compensation. Little appreciation.

Now please note, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to help or be there for others. Those that are strong would love to have their loved ones show some love, care, and concern in return. Ask them how their day is going. What’s going on in their world. Are they overwhelmed. Do they need anything. Even it they say no, just the simple genuine ask means the world.

No one ever thinks it’s a problem or you’re stressed because you’re good add hiding your frustration. Or, you’re so nice and kind, they think you don’t mind. At this point so much time has passed that it’s almost impossible to let someone know you’re no longer available mentally, emotionally, or physically like you used to. Setting some boundaries for someone who hasn’t had any, can be difficult. You may fear rejections, lost of friendship, relationship, or even awkward work space. So you convince yourself over and over again you can take it. That only leads to resentment and dissolutions of relationship that may not be able to be repaired.

I had to learn to accept that just because I can handle it, I don’t have to take on that load. It is difficult to tell someone to keep that load to yourself knowing you can help or assist them greatly.

But if you don’t give yourself a break, no one else will. Set those boundaries upfront. Make it clear what you will do and how far you will go. We all know you are strong and you can handle what is thrown at you more easy than others. It won’t be a sign of weakness if you were to say, not today. I need to do this for me. Eventually they will get the hint.

Being mentally and emotionally strong, it is important to communicate your feelings. Those that are mentally and emotionally strong suffer in silence sometimes. They feel no one will understand them. Because everyone is depending and pulling on them, they don’t want to burden anyone with their stress. Or feel like they can pour onto someone that is in need themselves. People know you can handle it, so they don’t think anything phases you. And because they have no idea how tired you are, they think you’re made of cement. Remember we teach people how to treat us.

So if you are the one people go to, give yourself a break. You are still going to be strong. Setting limits and taking a break is exercising great strength. STRENGTH If you know someone who carries the weight of the world on their shoulders reach out to them. Check up on them from time to time. It will be greatly appreciate it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING

Quick mental note today, that came to me after having a great conversation this morning. Open your mind for understanding, clarity, and direction. We all heard this phrase growing up, keep an open mind, but never really understood or applied it in life. Of course, as we get older and experience life, we can appreciate the advice.

But having an open mind for understanding benefits you in every relationship you may have. Ask and understand why a person has a certain point of view. Get to know what experiences shaped their perspective to believe a certain way. Knowing and understanding the circumstances around events will help you not be judgmental or critical because you guys aren’t seeing eye to eye.

When we’re able to get to know someone and their experiences, this allows the relationship to grow and develop deeper. There won’t be a stumbling block or hurdle constantly there you guys can’t get over. The ability to talk things through and work through differences become easier.

Open your mind for clarity allows you to know your position in the relationship. Any type of relationship. Because you are clear on where a person needs help or growth, you are able to assist in their healing. Which means, you are becoming a better person and you know where you are needed. You will be able to know how to love that person as well as know if that person is able to give you what you need in return.

Having an open mind for direction gives you the strength needed to know if you should continue or dissolve the relationship. The ability to effectively communicate, understand, and see another person side can save a relationship from completely going sour. Now having direction, will enable you to set boundaries and create plans for the relationship if needed. Girlfriends…Why We Need Them

Agree to disagree. Know your position and place. Then, do what you have to do to make sure you’re whole in the situation. You have all the tools needed then to proceed on any relationship or situation. This not only goes for relationships, but business deals, or any situation that requires you to compromise, give or take.

Remember you’re not changing your position or stance on what you believe or what you want. Basically, you just seeing where they are coming from. You are simply keeping an open for your mental sake, to know how to proceed. This avoids wasted time, money, resources, and losing relationships. Keep an open mind for understanding, clarity, and direction.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be .

FRIENDLY REMINDERS I TELL MYSELF

It’s only Wednesday and I’ve had my fair share of the emotional roll coaster. My everyday corporate job has sent me for a ride each day already, and there are some friendly reminders I tell myself when I’m emotionally spent. I thought I’d share some of my friendly reminders just in case you need to pull them out one day to use.

But first, let me give you a quick background. The owner of my establishment is known in the community very well, as well as the family, they’ve been pillars in the community for several generations now. However, the business is important but keeping a good image tends to take precedence due to said individual holding local political office.

Now that we have that out the way. Several times I have been placed in compromising positions to either do what is right or basically bend the rules to ensure said person stays in good standing with certain community members. It’s an ever changing goal post. Also the rules, parameters, and guidelines seem to shift depending on the “who”.

With that being said, there are others in the office that is willing to jeopardize and risk losing their credentials because it’s the boss. Which, of course puts me in a very uncomfortable and compromising position. Because of that, I learned early on to keep it strictly professional. I set my boundaries and don’t bend for an inch.

This is where my friendly reminders that I tell myself when in emotional despair come into play. First I remind myself that I am an asset and have something to offer. Due to my position, I continue to work hard and exceed expectations. I know I am a great and hard worker. I know I’m good at my job and is essential to the business running.

Disclaimer: It took me a while to say the above without feeling like I was tooting my horn. There isn’t anything wrong with you knowing your worth or value. After all, I worked hard to get where I am and I value the work I do. You can say it with confidence and humility.

My next friendly reminder, is to know my license and credentials I studied and worked hard for is mine. I consistently take continueing education courses to ensure I’m as qualified as possible. I will not and can not let anyone take that away from me. People have put their trust in me, and that is something I must honor.

Thirdly, my friendly reminder I tell myself when in emotional despair is their political ambitions has nothing to do with me and isn’t my business. What someone else’s goals and desires are, is for them. It’s not even for me to understand. With that, I can encourage and support you going after your dreams without compromising myself.

After telling myself what they do isn’t my business, I knew I had to make my boundaries clear. Having a conversation and making it clear that I have no desire to integrate myself in personal affairs was essential. Also making it clear that my license and credentials are important to me. Reminding one that I was brought on to do certain duties, fulfill a role, and be professional.It’s my duty to ensure the integrity of it and that is what I intend to do, always.

Finally, I stick to my duties and not venture off. I’ve learned in certain situations when you begin to venture off and do things out of kindness or because you want to be a team player, it isn’t appreciated as such. Soon others begin to think you’re obligated or they begin to take advantage.

These are some very simple, but yet needed friendly reminders I tell myself that we all can use some time or another. What I know is, even in a professional setting it is important to create boundaries. Also, as we do in our private lives, ensuring we take care of our mental and emotional wellbeing in the office. This is an essential so we don’t bring it home to our families. What happens at work should stay at work. Lastly, don’t second guess yourself or settle because you feel like you have to take whatever is thrown at you. Yes, that is your job and that’s how you take care of your family, but you can respectfully stand up for yourself.

Welp, thats all for my midweek ramble. I’m feeling lighter and better. If you have any friendly reminders or suggestions please feel free to let me know. Have a great rest of your week!!!!!

Until next time…..

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

An Open Letter To Anyone You are enough

An open letter to anyone, you are enough, I hear you, see you, and feel you. I know you’re in pain and I’m sorry. You feel like there is a dark cloud over you, lurking. No matter what you do, it feels like you just can’t catch a break. For every two steps forward, you take one back. The feelings of being unappreciated, invisible, and dismissed is mounting. Everyone is take take take and no one ever stopped to ask you how you are doing or if you need help.

You can’t breath. You can’t think. The numbness from the neck down has become comfortable and a security blanket. You’re always on edge. However, at any moment you feel like a ticking time bomb. Your life feels like a puzzle and all the pieces are on the table scattered. The frame isn’t even together, let alone at least two pieces in the center. My dearest of friends I’m sorry.

Every feeling, thought, and emotion you are having is valid. That is why I decided to write you an open letter. What you are feeling is right. There isn’t anything wrong with you. All you want someone to do is say thank you or ask are you ok. A simple kind gesture makes all the difference in how your day will go. On the other hand, you always make sure everyone else is good.

I’m here to tell you, it will get better. For instance, the happiness and joy you yearn for you will receive, and soon. My friend that beautiful smile and laugh we will hear again. Enjoying each day and having fun will be apart of your life. Use this open letter as a reminder that you will have power and control of your life. Just like bamboo you may bend but you won’t break. You have come this far and endured. After that you will come out stronger and tougher. Therefore, let this be a lesson so in the future you won’t bend as easily and definitely won’t break.

You have the right to say NO!!!!!. You have the right to decline an invitation or offer. Here are a couple of examples for declining someone, “you know I appreciate your offer and kindness of thinking of me, but I’m not in a good space right now so I’ll catch you next time.” Or if someone is asking something of you and its not in your spirit to fulfill, “I appreciate your trust in me but that isn’t something I’m able to do at this time.”

In the meantime, make yourself a priority, create boundaries, and focus on yourself. Don’t feel bad or guilty about saying “I’m not ok right now and I need to get better.” Also taking a step back away from everyone and everything is something we all need to do from time to time.

In conclusion take your life and happiness back. This is a temporary storm. Get well soon. Get happier soon. And trust me we all will love the happier YOU.

You are worth it. You deserve it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.