I just wanted to come to you all really quick and wish you a Happy Sunday morning, noon, or night. I hope you get the peace, relaxation, and joy this day has to offer before the start of the week.
It’s been heavy on me to express to those who are in distress or not, that there’s a reason and purpose for everything even in the toughest of times. Find your purpose for living. Even in the midst of storm my family is in following the death of my mother in law, I can’t help but to have this overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
While in the storm we are getting drenched, dirt poured on us, and beat down in the process. Stay present in the moment. Feel every drop of dirt, debris, and rain no matter how bad it hurts. We need the storms to grow and show us the true strength and power we have. My friends anything that is good for us needs dirt and water to grow. Plants, flowers, fruits and vegetables.
If you are sick believe that you are healed. If you are weak believe you are strong. You have been prepared and equipped for every storm. You have everything you need to withstand. At this moment you just have to access it through gratitude 🙏 and having Faith.
It’s that time of year where people are talking about their new year’s resolutions. I’ve never like this idea or really been able to answer the question “what’s your New Years resolution?”
Instead of a New Years resolution I think its more important and/or effective to create a lifestyle with systems and daily habits. Have a plan for your life in year. Break that plan down into half year goals, seasonal or quarterly goals, and then monthly goals. If needed you can even break it down into weekly goals until it has become habit. Setting goals, making plans, and listing somethings you’d like to accomplish in a year is more realistic and obtainable.
So often when we set resolutions they barely last a month or even a week sometimes. That’s because it hasn’t been thoroughly thought out, made with intention, and done at the spare of the moment.
Before creating a system or change you must ask yourself what is my end goal here? How long will it take me to reach my end game? What do I need in the process? If I have to make a detour what is my course of action to get back on track? What do I need to put into place to begin? What are the steps of this goal?
To make anything sustainable we have to be patient, persistent, and consistent. Yes there will be road blocks but we will overcome them. The systems set by our daily habits will allow us to get back into to gear when something happens. Life is going to continue but its how we work through it that will allow us to continue on with our goals and not give up or lose sight on what we sought out to achieve.
When you have an outline of your goal you’re able to track progress, adjust the goal if necessary, increase or decrease your course of action, add or delete some steps in the process, and have a visual.
For example, if you have a weight loss goal, make a plan to lose 5lbs in the first month or two. Because you have a goal you know you have to eat a balanced diet and exercise to achieve that goal. Look at your work week, schedule of things to do with the kids or family in the week, and figure when it will be best to work out for at least 30 minutes 4 times a week. Anyone can say “I want to get fit” but what does that mean without a plan and goals behind it.
Along with setting goals and creating an action plan, having a system in place will assist you in achieving the goals you want. Having systems in place with daily habits that are pushing you toward your goal allows you to remain present in the moment. The systems of daily habits become the lifestyle change you are striving for.
Back to the weight loss example, you will need a system of when and how often I need to go to the grocery store to ensure I have what I need before, during, and after workout. Along with what will my daily meals and snacks look like. Waking up to making sure you don’t skip breakfast is a great daily habit to begin with. What am I going to have for lunch, what is my snack for the day, or what is the plan for dinner.
No matter what it is, you want to accomplish, create a plan for it. Vacation, remodeling the home, purchasing a new car, or whatever make an intentional plan. I know it may seem like a lot or it can be overwhelming in the beginning but once it becomes habit and who you are it won’t phase you one bit. Living the life you envisioned, deserve, and sought for is the best reward.
We have to make it a lifestyle and part of who we are. It has to be about us, for us, and by us otherwise it’s just empty words of hopes of what we’d like to do and accomplish.
It’s been real. It’s been a drama for sure. You showed us how not to make plans and be too sure about anything. So many of us had plans for you, 2020. It was going to be the year of wealth, health, new businesses , relationships, weddings, milestones, and new beginnings. Obviously you had other plans for us.
I don’t know what your point of all this was, to turn our lives upside down and inside out but you will not WIN!!!!!! We’ve had time to think, meditate, and reflect about what we want and value in life. Can you say hindsight 2020? And we thank you for giving us this time. We thank you for the heart ache, pain, devastation, unknown, and keeping us on the edge of our seats.
You keeping us on the edge of our seats has lit a fire under us. We know family and spending quality time with them is important. We know how important self care is and what we need, to be the best version of ourselves. We’ve found our passions and are ready to put our plans into actions.
We are focused, determined, and ready for you to leave. If you look around and see how excited we were to be in the season of joy, giving, love, and laughter. We began decorating, some of us even earlier than before. We’ve began celebrating and getting in the spirit of new beginnings.
You’ve taught us how to be resilient, patient, and present in the moment. Yes, we were guilty for living in our phones twenty four seven. Yes, we were guilty in believing working until you put yourself in the hospital was a sign of success. Yes, we were guilty in not spending quality time with family and creating memories. But we’re back baby. Better, stronger, wiser, and more ready than ever.
Dear 2020, you came in with a force and hasn’t stopped. As a matter of fact even at the end you are still trying to have a hold on us. But we’ve caught on and we aren’t going to let you ruin this last leg of the race.
Goodbye 👋 2020. You are no longer wanted here. We’ve had enough and ready for 2021, refresh, and new start. Thanks for stopping by and don’t come back!!!!!
This holiday season it is important to remember the reason for the season. We all want to give and don’t want to leave anyone out. We know there are some who are having a more trying time than we are and giving them a gift that will encourage, inspire, motivate, and lift their spirits is always the best. Due to trying times this year think of giving a gift that keeps on giving.
Self Care Gift Ideas
– Framed Family photo or keep sake. -Memory book or scrapbook. -Digital album. -Personalized Calendar. -Snack basket of their favorite snacks. -Coffee mug with their favorite tea or coffee. -Robe or pajama set -Favorite dish -Plant -Throw -Create a Self Care Basket -An Inspiring Book -Gift Card to a Spa or Salon -Subscription Service -Journal Writing Book
This year think about inspiring someone to take a leap of faith and start their self care journey. We can give a gift of 💝 and stay within our budget. These gift ideas you can get at your local stores and mall, since we’re out of time for delivery by Christmas.
My daughter who is going to be someone’s wife one day, someone’s mother one day, and a boss some day.
My sons who are going to be someone’s husband one day, a father one day, and role model to many.
My mother who didn’t have the ability to self care and live the life the she wanted.
My father who paid the ultimate sacrifice.
My grandmother who sacrificed for us all.
My Grandfather who is the head of the family.
My brothers, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, friends, and coworkers who I share energy with.
Yes self care is for us. We must divulge in self care and make sure we are whole. We need to be our best self to offer to family and friends.
However, there are many who benefit from our self care. We are setting an example to our children. While we’re having the courage to take a break and do something that makes us happy, we are inspiring and encouraging others to do the same.
Even, that one person who seems to have it all together is still watching. The one person who you think is judgmental and doesn’t like you is watching and learning from you.
We represent more than ourselves. When we step out we represent our parents, grandparents, spouses, and children.
When one of us is not good it effects the rest of us. If we all are making deposits there is an abundance. However, if everyone is withdrawing we all are depleted.
Who do you self care for? Who do you hope to inspire? What expample do you want to show?
My apologies to everyone I have said “Someone has it worse than you,” to. I can’t remember where I heard it or what station I was watching but someone said that this is the worse response you can say to someone when they express their feelings or concern to you.
I had to take a pause and think how could that be a bad thing. Welp…for many reasons.
First of all, I had to think they could careless about someone else’s feelings or problems at the moment. What someone else is going through has nothing to do with them.
Secondly, I am pretty sure they know there are people out there who are having what seems to be the worst luck ever. They aren’t living in a bubble and don’t know what’s going on in the world.
Next, I realized when I say that to someone I have completely dismissed, diminished, and rejected their feelings, thoughts, situations, and experience. They have a right to feel how they feel and experience the emotions that come along with that.
Another reason why telling someone that isn’t good, is the message they hear is “it’s no big deal”. They hear “get over it and move on, what are you whining about.” When in actuality they probably had to build themselves up to open up and they just got crushed.
For those who suffer from depression, anxiety, or any other mental health trauma that statement will discourage them for speaking out or expressing themselves. They hear their problems are small, doesn’t measure up to others, and their feelings aren’t valid.
I can almost see as I think back after saying this to someone how I deflated them. They have built their energy up to express themselves and I go and say “well you know someone has it worse”, their response is silence and fades into the darkness.
Please understand when I’ve said that to someone, it wasn’t meant in a malicious way. I wasn’t trying to demean, dismiss, or diminish their experience or feelings. Literallly for me, that was my way of encouraging them not feel like the world has crashed down upon them. If you think your life is over, just imagine the crushing pain of others. You can get through whatever it is, because we all bounce back up.
But, I guess I should have said just that. Just like we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others, in no way we should insinuate they should compare their problems to others to makes themselves feel better.
But I now know that isn’t what they want to hear nor what they need to hear. Telling them their feelings are valid, work through the pain, and come out stronger is more like it. Helping them understand why they are experiencing said emotions is much more helpful.
Once again my apologies to anyone I’ve said this to and made you feel like your feelings didn’t matter. They do and so do you.
So tell me a little about yourself? We all have been asked this question and it stumps most people. So I thought I would do a challenge and list some random facts about me.
I enjoy shopping for toiletries more than I do clothes and shoes. I can be in the soap and toothpaste aisle forever trying to figure out what to try next. Also it takes me a minute to pick out my laundry detergent as well.
I am a huge sports fan. Don’t particularly have any favorite teams or players. Typically I root for the underdog. Basketball, football, track and field, volleyball, and wrestling I find myself watching quite a bit. 🏀🏉🤼♀️
Love to burn candles. Seasonal and non seasonal. Burning candles does something with the mood and energy in the house. The aroma is a bonus.
I’m an avid coffee mug collector.
I’m always in my head, analyzing, thinking, and wondering. I always have to find a deeper meaning or connection.
My all time favorite movie is My Cousin Vinny. Sister Act parts one and two come in a close second.
Favorite dessert hands down is cheesecake. 🍰
Favorite subject in school was math. Anything numbers or accounting related I can do forever and won’t get tired.
Absolutely isn’t a fan of social media. Yes I know I need social media to promote my blog but I feel it will reach who it needs to reach when its time.
Favorite channel on television is ID Discovery. Any crime genre shows like Law & Order, Criminal Minds I enjoy mostly.
Love to read inspirational and motivational quotes on Pinterest. It’s literally my fuel on how I get through the day.
Thoroughly enjoy encouraging others, talking with them through their pain, and loving them through their obstacles.
Favorite food is veggie fajitas. 🌮
Absolute beauty junkie. Anything that has to do with hair, nails, skin, makeup, or body care I’m am a sucker for. Lip gloss is my favorite beauty product.
I mostly stick to reds and pinks when I do my at home manicure, however I am more adventurous on my pedicure.
Every since I was a little girl, pink has been my favorite color. 👚
Long bus or train rides is my idea of fun. I can sit in that seat and escape as I look out the window. Not fall asleep, not get bored. But be so in peace.
When I was younger I had an insanely large collection of stuff animals. 🦄
Up until my college years I adored everything Mickey Mouse.
Very interested and intrigued with other cultures. Their food, rituals, language, customs, clothing, and how they live I can watch, read, and learn about endlessly.
Favorite singer/artist has always been Janet Jackson.
A dream of mine is to learn sign language.
Favorite season is fall. Sweaters, lattes, brisk cold air, and the smell of cinnamon is everything.
Favorite ice cream is butter pecan.
I am a creature of habit. When I go to restaurants I will seemingly order the same dish. I’m already hungry the thought of trying something new and being disappointed, isn’t going to go well.
Love the smell of coffee. ☕️
My childhood nickname that my family still calls me to this day is Molly. My aunt gave me that name at a very young age.
Attended an all girls high school in the city of Chicago where I was born and raised. That was the best experience of my life. Yes, I went home everyday. It was a normal high school, I seem to get that question a lot.
My first car was a 2 door Ford Escort. 🚗
Favorite thing about the holidays is to decorate for Christmas.
When its time to make a decision I will always go against the grain and choose the opposite of what everyone else did.
My favorite dishes and drinks from restaurants I will try at home to make myself. I typically won’t stop until I have perfected the recipe.
When I was younger, up until college I used to say that I didn’t want to get married or have kids. Now being a mom and a wife is the air I breathe.
I love to take walks outside and escape for a little while. When I walk outside I have freed myself from everyone and everything, and literally feel like I’m the only thing and only one out there.
My zodiac sign is Leo, and I was born on Friday the 13th. 🐆
When I was a teenager I worked at the party store and on Valentines Day one year I filled so many balloon orders that my fingers began to bleed from tying them all day.
As I’ve grown older the less I’ve enjoyed eating meat. Not for any particular reason but I can go days without eating meat and won’t realize it.
I have enjoyed living a more simple life and lifestyle as of late. I realized 20 eyeshadow palettes, 20 pair of pants, or 10 coats just wasn’t doing anything for me.
Have always been a morning person. I’d rather wake up early and start the day than staying up late.
I’d rather vacation on a ski resort than on a beach. ❄️
I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little better. So often we don’t know where to start but this is a good challenge to do. This will open your eyes and awareness to some things you may not have realized. I encourage all to try it, and do so without thinking. Over time it will increase, change, and evolve because we do.
There is this misconception that being single is a bad thing and you’re not complete if you’re not in a relationship. Being single is a blessing and gift from God. One can actually have an amazing run at living the single life.
For starters, its the obvious, you have time for yourself, to yourself, and by yourself. You don’t have to worry about sharing your time and making sure they feel wanted. Being single is a blessing because you can come and go when you please.
Being single you can invest as much time as you want into your career and achieve your goals so when you’re ready for a relationship you can have time for the relationship. Another benefit to being single is learning, loving, and getting to know you. The more you have time to be with yourself, the more you’ll be able to know exactly what you want in a partner and how you want to be loved.
One being single can have an amazing life. Just because a person is single doesn’t mean they are depressed, bored, and unhappy. When you’re single you can be your own companion and love yourself the way you want to be loved. Having dinner alone is actually a good thing. Taking a vacation and enjoying your time and fruits of your labor alone is a good thing. Yes, single people take vacations all the time and have an amazing experience.
Relationships are hard work. I often tell people being married is a full time job, it is just as important if not more than the one that pays you. You have to constantly work at the relationship to have a long sustaining meaningful one. Sacrifice and compromise is one thing you don’t have to worry about when you’re single.
Single life allows you to be independent and won’t feel the need to have someone to make you feel whole, accomplished, or complete. Fulfill yourself with those things.
Once you know how to love yourself you’ll be able to show someone how to love you and you’ll be able to receive love. How you treat yourself is how you teach people how to treat you. Love on yourself so good that you’ll find amazing love with a partner one day.
Remember just because someone is married or in a relationship doesn’t mean they are happy and the relationship is good. On the other hand, just because someone is single doesn’t mean they aren’t living a great life or has less significance than someone in a relationship.
Being single is a blessing and gift from God. Don’t let your single life go to waste. Enjoy it.
C-Compassion allows us to connect with others and have meaningful relationships. The greatest act of courage is to show or have compassion for someone who have wronged you.
O-Offer your authentic self no matter who you’re around and where you are. The greatest gift we can give is our true authentic self. It takes courage to say “this is me”. Some people will love you and some won’t. That is perfectly ok.
U-Understand the source of the anger, hurt, or pain for yourself and others for that matter. Knowing the why will lead to the healing.
R-Rest. Take a break from time to time. Recharge and reset. We are human, we will get burned out at some point. It takes courage to say, “I need a break right now.”
A-Accept where you are and embrace it. We all want more, to reach higher places, and to grow. However, we have to be able to appreciate what we have now and where we are. Love that 2 bedroom apartment and appreciate it, so when you’re blessed with that 3 bedroom house, your gratitude will beam through the windows.
G-Goodness is in you. Share it with the world. You have a special gift and something to offer. Once again, it doesn’t have to be grand, the smallest gesture has the greatest good.
E-Energy is contagious. Be the energy you want to receive. When you smile at someone they smile back. Someone is having a bad day or moment, compliment them, encourage them, and make them smile.