MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay

The one thing I know is, what we tell ourselves hurts us more than anything someone else says or does. You wanna know why? We believe everything we tell ourselves. Furthermore, we are very good at talking ourselves out of something. We can think of a scenario and situation in our heads and it never happened. Have you ever played out a conversation or arguement in your head? We’ve all done that at one point, “the next time I see XYZ and they say this, I’m going to say this.” Oh!!!! How many times have you started your day complaining about everything you had to do at work, how you didn’t want to talk to certain people, or how that coworker gets on your last nerves. Then you get to work, and the sheer sight of your coworker turns your smile upside down. Why? Because we’ve already talked ourselves into not wanting to have a good day or interaction. No matter what the situation or circumstance is, what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how our day and life goes. Sadly, we are very good at talking ourselves into a negative mindset. Don’t you think we can be even better at talking ourselves into a positive mindset. The last two weeks, before I even turn on my computer I write for 1-2 minutes on a notebook of nothing but positive thoughts, affirmations, and prayers. It’s not uniformed or grammatically correct. My intentions are to ensure I’m in the right mindset, positive self talk, and motivation. If you are experiencing too many negative thoughts try turning those into some positives. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS

Example of My Morning Notes:

I am fearless
I am brave
I am strong
I am a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and worker
I am good at my job
God give me the strength to replace any negative thoughts with positive
God thank you for keeping me so many times, thank you for saving me, thank you for my family and our health
I am in control of my emotions
I give myself grace

That’s what came to mind yesterday morning. Sometimes it’s less and other times it’s more. But every day, moment, and direction of our life depends on how we view it, handle it, and overcome. Most importantly it’s what we say to ourselves quietly that hurts the most. So those things you are saying that no one hears, turn those into positives and tell yourself good things. Have a great day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time. -John Maxwell

The one thing that I’ve come to know and understand is consistency. You hear it often when reading self help books, listening to podcast, and every motivational speaker has spoken about being consistent. Well I get it now. And it’s not so much of being consistent in just practicing mental health. But in every day life and in every aspect of life. Something as simple as, being consistent on flossing your teeth every day leads to better oral health. Thus preventing diseases and long term effects on your teeth and gums. We hear it all the time in skin care. Having a consistent regimen is key to healthy, glowing, youthful looking skin. Maintaining good eating habits and exercising regularly are always constant with being consistent. When at work, you have to be consistent to perform and produce. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES No matter what component of life it is, remaining consistent in the small habits builds character, stamina, results, health, and wealth. Yes, we all will stumble. But when you get back on both feet and are stable, remain consistent. Just because we stumble or see something is working for someone else, doesn’t mean we should try it or not continue to do what has worked for us. You know what works for you and what you’re good at. Stay consistent in your daily routine lifestyle habits. The fruits of your labor will pay off. Have a great day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”May your heart heal. May your past no longer block your view of the present. May you breathe again, laugh again, rest again, live again. May it be so.- Thema Bryant Davis

white and gray stone on brown wooden table

The hardest pill to swallow is realizing no matter what was done to you or said to you, is that you are the only one responsible to not let it hurt you again and again. No one can get over the pain and hurt for you. Even if you received an apology, it’s up to you to accept it and forgive. Our healing is our responsibility and it has to start with us internally first. We have the absolute power and control to heal. We first have to let go of what was done, who done it, and resolve that we can’t change it. What others say about us, do to us, or say to us says more about them than you. How you respond, react, and forgive says more about you. And that is the only thing we have control over. To heal your heart and be free, let go of the relationship you desired that didn’t get. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS That could be any kind of relationship. Let go of the betrayal and pain that has you hostage from breathing, laughing, and loving again. Allowing the past to continue to hurt us over and over is self sabotaging. That situation has past and that person has moved on. Make a decision to release and let go. Think about how you are no longer that person, you are not what they say you are, and you’ve made it no matter what circumstances was placed in front of you. Remove anger, guilt, shame, hurt, and tell yourself you are free. You are free to love, laugh, breathe, and live the life you desire. Do something each day to live for a better you. Have a great day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”I stopped telling myself that I’m lost. I’m not. I’m on the road with no destination, I’m just driving with hope that I’ll find a place that I like and I’ll stay there. I’m not lost, I’m on my way.”- Ahunnaya

You’re not lost, you’ve suppressed who you really are and want to be for the comfort of others. You feel lost because you are trying to do what is “normal” instead of what your heart truly desires. Fear has you feeling lost. Fear of rejection, disappointment, disapproval, and failure. You don’t need to find yourself. Reach down and access the real you. Let the real you come up and shine bright like you were meant to when you were created in your mothers womb. We often get lost because we’re running from what’s deep within. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER Are you living for you or for others. As we celebrate the holidays and approach the New Year, make a commitment to access the real you. Live where you want to live. Dress how you want to dress. Wear your hair how you want to wear it. Go after that dream that you’ve been dreaming of for years. Whatever you have buried down to comfort others or yourself, now is the time. It’s been long enough. I can say when I stopped owning labels that was placed on me by my family and lived for me, it’s been totally freeing. When I went after the position I had been thinking of for years, that my family told me wasn’t a good idea, it’s been the best move and decision I made this year. Is it tough in the beginning, absolutely. But betting on you, you will win every time. You won’t let yourself down. Instead of saying I’m lost, tell yourself I’m ready for you to step to the front and be your true self. Have a great day.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” -@anxietypositive

This is exactly what I had to do this week. In my new position we’re given six weeks to hit 5 milestones. Each week is focused on one milestone. So by the end of the six weeks, you are a polished gem. Well for me I hindered my growth because I was looking ahead. Why? In my mind I’ve been doing this profession for years, I’m like I can do this, I’ve been doing it. Well not so fast. I kept missing certain points in milestone one, hitting two and three, missing four, and hitting five.

Each week we have a session with our assigned coach to help us. She kept asking me what can she do to help me. I kept explaining to her how I’d been doing it, how I was taught, and what helped me learn. Next coaching session, I still didn’t hit it. It was getting very frustrating and I began questioning myself, my abilities, and even my coach. Until after the last coaching session.

I had to tell myself. Humble myself. It doesn’t matter what you did before. How you did it before. Or the the way you were taught. This is how it’s done here. Adapt, reset, and do it. I need to focus on this way, their way, and their process. It wasn’t anything wrong with the coach. The process. It was me and my approach, attitude, and mindset. Once I did that, went back to work, and instantly there was a shift in progression. In our next session she said I can tell there was something different. 7 SELF REFLECTION JOURNAL PROMPTS

And it was. My performance was better. Higher. The process and day went smoother. I enjoyed myself more. I wasn’t dreading going to work.

What did I have to do?

Focus on week one, milestone one. They give us more than enough time for a reason. I only had to worry about the first step not the whole staircase. Trust the process. It’s a reason why there is a process, certain steps are in place, and it doesn’t matter how you did before. The focus should be on how it’s done now, why this process works, and leaning into this process.

It will save frustration, stress, and wasted time. So often we try to do too much too soon. Well that can hurt us more than going through the process itself. We hinder our growth. Send the wrong message. Delay our victories.

The key is to have self awareness. Enjoy the rest of you day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others have nothing to do with them. Each day you get to decide which one you’ll be.”- Jarrid Wilson

Yes, you’ve been hurt, treated unfairly, had an unfair chance at life in some circumstances, and may be broken. However, that isn’t who you are, have to stay to be, and have to own. While in the state of hurt, every trigger you have will be pulled. Why? Because you haven’t resolved or healed the pain and trauma from before. Until you learn what happened isn’t your fault and others that inflict pain, is projecting their own hurt, then you’re going to forever take it personally. No matter what is said or happen, you’re going to think someone is out to hurt you.

The best thing to do is figure out where your hurt and pain comes from. For me it started out the blue one day asking myself a simple question: Why do I get so upset when someone assume or insinuate I’m mean, anti social, or harsh? That was a huge trigger for me. For starters I had to think back where that label came from and why it triggered me so much. Once I was able to understand the origin, who started it, and how it stuck, I was able to reconcile and let it go.

Ask yourself questions like what makes me upset, why certain people or situations garner a reaction, and how do you feel when you experience said emotions. Paying attention to how we feel when we are experiencing certain emotions will help our healing. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING

Once you learn your triggers, how not to respond, and redirect emotions you’ll be able to understand others better. You’ll recognize that they are hurt and having an episode themselves. Sometimes the only way someone can release their pain is to project on to others.

I can truly say from experience, me getting to know the why behind where my emotions come from has allowed me to be more patient with others and help them recognize their own unhealed pain. The best thing to do is to heal yourself to help others begin their own healing. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS

“I need to reset my expectations and give you a call back.” Says my client after hearing a homeowners quote that she requested.

Here it is, she’s being productive and proactive, taking care of some much needed business and housekeeping before the holiday season and new year. A wonderful client, woman, mother, and professional calling two months in advance shopping her homeowners policy. After previously calling before and realizing it was going to take quite a bit of time, she had time today and called to say she was ready to do it.

We had a lovely conversation for about an hour. We discussed her beautiful home, how we both juggle our multiple roles on a daily, her having 3 kids rotate in and out of the home because they are in college, and coverages for her home. Even talked about her 2 dogs that keep her company when the kids aren’t home because she’s currently single after a divorce.

Once I rounded the conversation and geared it back to the homeowners quote she requested, it was time to talk about coverages. I gave her a detailed coverage presentation and answered any questions she had. Then I delivered the quote and assumed the sale. Right. Well not so fast. 5 REMINDERS ABOUT SELF LOVE

First, she wanted to go on her app and pull up her current policy to make sure she has same or like coverage. I said sure no problem. Well, because her password didn’t work, she tried to reset it and it didn’t work, and then attempted to retrieve it from her password manager on her phone, that left us more time to chit chat.

We proceeded to have great woman mom talk and she kept apologizing for not having her password. I said, “Hey girl listen you are making my day by having a conversation with me. Take your time. This is your biggest asset and we have to make sure you’re covered accurately and you are satisfied with the coverages.” With a chuckle that gave a sigh of relief she relaxed. What happened when she relaxed, she was able to focus, retrieve, and reset her password.

Once the password was up, we were able to go over her coverages line by line. Now her current policy is 4 years old. Which quickly she realized some things had changed over the years. The value of the home, the market, and some other characteristics that impact a rate or premium. After answering all her questions or really what was her talking out the difference in the double premium, she said, “I guess I will have to think about this and reset my expectations.”

That statement alone “I have to reset my expectations sent chills through my body.” First her awareness to not blame me, lash out at me, or complain about how ridiculous things are had my body lifting out my chair. Also to know there is some factors she can’t control or change. Therefore, she needs to do what she needs to do mentally and emotionally to fork out more than she expected or what she was paying before. Redirecting her attention on what she can control. Her budget, what she chooses for coverages, and her expectations.

The call ended by us telling each other how much we enjoyed each other conversations. Wished one another the best and I told her to call me if she had anymore questions. As gracious as she could be, she said she will give me a call either way.

The rest of the day I couldn’t help but think about how we let our expectations sour our mood, day, or life. Are you expecting something that isn’t available? Do you have expectations of someone that they just can’t fulfill? I’ve learned having unfair expectations can ruin relationships and place unnecessary stress and anxiety both parties.

Years ago, one Sunday morning, while in church, the pastor said something that has stuck with me like icing on a cake: “Sometimes we ask someone for 10 gallons of water when they only have a 5 gallon tank. Where do you expect them to get the other 5 gallons? Sometimes you have to ask yourself are you putting unfair expectations on people.”

The next time you feel something should have went a certain way or it didn’t turn out how you expected, ask yourself, “Do I need to reset my expectations?”

Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY

Not everyone that comes into your life will be there for a lifetime. Some people are just meant to be in your life temporarily. In fact, most are just making a pit stop into your journey of life. And guess what, that is perfectly ok. There isn’t a reason to get upset, sad, or lose sleep over it. In actuality, even those that are there for a moment, will drop some valuable lessons and gems before leaving.

I just had this conversation with my son who’s a junior in high school. He’s beginning to realize some he thought was his friends really aren’t. Those who he thought would be there for the long haul has moved on to another destination. I had to remind him of how valuable and precious he is. Along with the best piece of advice I received when I first went to high school. That was “Your friends you have your freshman year, will not be your same friends your senior year.” That advice the teacher gave me could not have been more true. That statement holds true into adult hood.

As life flows so does we. Experiences and circumstances have us growing in many directions. So the friends you have in your 20s probably will fall off by the time your 30s roll in. When you hit your 40s that lightbulb gets so bright and your circle get even smaller.

The twist is, it doesn’t mean that you have this big fight or falling out. You just out grow some people. As we develop, we walk down different paths that put distance between us. Sometimes we circle back. Other times, we wave from a distance. Either way you’re going to be ok. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

Those that were your friends in the beginning can’t always go with you. As you grow they may not be ready to grow. So sometimes you’ll have to leave them where they are until you guys catch up, if you do. But the worse thing to do is stop your progress because someone isn’t ready to grow with you.

Love yourself enough to be aware and know who is meant to be in your life temporarily. Let relationships be what they are, not what you think they should be or hope to be. Many times we hurt ourselves holding on to some relationships too long. It may hurt letting some relationships fizzle out. But trust yourself and the process. Trying to hold on to a relationship that’s dead will lead to resentment, stress, frustration and loss of happiness. The pain of dead weight is worse than working the pounds off.

Give your authentic self. Know what you want and need out of each relationship you have. Be vocal. Have healthy boundaries. Love and show compassion. Finally having 2 great relationships is better than having 10 one sided unhealthy relationships.

Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”The way you think and feel about yourself determines everything that happens to you.”- @thejustbelievejourney

I saw this and couldn’t agree more. The older I get, the more I understand and know the importance of telling yourself good things and speaking positively to yourself. Also, what you think and tell yourself about situations and events in your life will determine how you travel through them. Definitely when faced with adversity telling yourself you’ll get through it and it will work out is the first thing you should say to yourself. That puts the thought and energy into your mind and body to let the situation take it’s course and remain positive. Staying busy to keep your mind off of it, and trying not to control the situation will help keep you on the positive track. On the other hand, when you have a victory or good news, it’s equally important to embrace it and enjoy your hard work. But don’t just stop there. God blessed you with what you asked for but don’t stop being humble and gracious. 9 REMINDERS OF BASIC SELF LOVE TIPS Either way, what you tell yourself in every situation determines your attitude, how the day will go, and how your life will eventually go. I know it’s difficult, but try to turn your negative thoughts and words into positives. Your mental health will thank you for it. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”- Brene Brown

woman holding a paper with the word confident

To be totally transparent I’ve struggled with setting and keeping boundaries. But as of lately, setting my boundaries have been the one thing that keeps me mentally sane. It sounds so harsh sometimes when we say to set boundaries, but the other side of that is someone using and taking advantage of you. I recently had a family member tell me they didn’t worry about anything because all they have to do is ask me for money if they need help. That triggered me so bad. The audacity to be comfortable to say, you’ll give me the money if I need it, just hit different. Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Boundaries aren’t a bad thing. It’s you protecting your peace and space. Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you should give or obligated to give. Just because you have the time doesn’t mean you have to serve them in whatever way they ask. Boundaries eliminate others having easy access to you. You don’t have to make yourself available if you don’t want to. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY Lastly, when setting boundaries it doesn’t have to be in a nasty way. Simply saying you’re not available, and I’ll let you know when I am is good enough. And an explanation isn’t needed either. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!