Mental Health · Personal Growth · Personal Relationships · Self care

The More You Grow…

Conversations that aren’t meaningful or add value to your life, you won’t engage in. Sitting around the table listening to people gossip just gets under your skin.

You begin to pay more attention to what others are saying and doing. Are the actions and words aligned with your values? How they show up in the world and to you is well noted. You begin to value character and integrity more.

Aren’t afraid to ask for help or say you don’t know. You’ve come to a point in life to know and understand you don’t know everything and that’s ok, but you aren’t going to act like it either.

Respectfully speak up for yourself. Turning the other cheek and letting things slide isn’t going to continue to happen.

Understand the importance of getting ahead of situations and problems. Having a proactive mindset as opposed to a reactive mindset.

Stand firm in your position and will not put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Saying yes to get it over with or not to hurt others feelings isn’t something you’re willing to do.

Taking time for yourself, self reflection, and constantly wanting to be a better person is a priority.

Prefer small intimate gatherings inside opposed to going out to large venues with crowds.

The well-being of others are important to you.

The small stuff doesn’t get to you and shift your mood.

No longer feel guilty about taking a day off or taking time out to take care of yourself. You understand that taking care of yourself isn’t up for negotiations.

Don’t worry about trying to impress others with “what” you have. The labels on clothes and shoes doesn’t mean a thing to you. As long as you are comfortable you’re happy. Just not interested in keeping up with the Jones’s.

Sleep is important, essential, and a priority.

What you watch on television, music you listen to, and what you give your time to is well intentional.

The desire to learn and attain knowledge is what you become.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · Personal Growth · Self care

What Self Care Is NOT

  1. Self Care isn’t selfish. Being the best you can be to your loved ones is a gift that benefits everyone.
  2. Self care isn’t a quick fix. It’s consistent daily practices to have a fulfilling life.
  3. Self care isn’t a one and done thing. It’s a lifestyle and some practices may change or have to adjust as you grow through life.
  4. Self care doesn’t erase your problems. It’s your foundation and what you fall back on to get you back on track.
  5. Self care doesn’t mean you aren’t going to get upset or have a bad day. It allows you to overcome, forgive, and move on faster than before.
  6. Self care doesn’t make you perfect. It says “I am human and have emotions that I need to deal with as they come.”
  7. Self care doesn’t mean you aren’t going to break from routine. It gives you experience on knowing how to regroup and get back to you.
  8. Self care doesn’t mean that you are depressed or angry. It’s the act of creating a good mental and emotional space.
  9. Self care isn’t the only thing that is going to make your life better. It’s a prong on your life wheel that you need on your journey.
  10. Self care doesn’t look the same for everyone. It’s intentional, thoughtful, and catered to your personal needs.



    RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Self Care: Personal Goal Setting

It can be overwhelming when it comes to setting and maintaining goals. If we set them too high then its easily discouraging when we hit a bump in the road. For me what I’ve learned and what works for me is to set small goals that will set me up and motivate me to continue on to my larger goal.

Because I have so many ideas and so much I want to do I figured its best for me to begin setting small goals for myself to keep me on track and organized.

I’ve been slacking on my water intake and my body, skin, and energy has been telling me to get back to drinking more water. To do so I’ve made sure to have a bottle of water beside the bed so in the morning before I do anything I hydrate and get my juices going. Also on the drive to dropping off my children and picking them up in the afternoon I make sure I have a bottle of water. Side note: having a bottle of water in the car on the ride to and from school eliminates me wanting to stop at Starbucks.

My next goal for the week was to finish the paper work needed to start a project that I’ve been wanting to do. I’ve researched for the last several months and now its time for me to take the next steps and do the legwork. This goal seems simple yet its going to keep me line and make sure I not get side tracked and jump all over the place, because lets face it that can happen.

Working out is an essential part of my self care. I must workout at least 4-5 days a week. At this point my workout is mostly for my mental sometimes. The ability to clear my head and refocus is the best therapy for me sometimes. Now when I say schedule, no I don’t write it down, but its me staying in my routine. Typically for me I workout maybe three days straight then take a day off and then go another two days. I do a mix of aerobics, strength training, and of course walking.

The last and most important is an ongoing goal, personally, staying positive no matter what. My everyday corporate job can be mentally draining and stressful sometimes, I have three children in elementary, middle, and high school, and helping my mother is quite a feast I have to eat weekly. However, I wouldn’t change a thing. Staying positive, motivated, staying in the moment, releasing my tension when I have to, and not losing myself is my goal.

I love taking care of my family and being able to have my sense of self. It’s something I believe I can handle and have at the same time.

Setting and maintaining goals is something personal to you. Figure out what your ultimate goal is. Write it down. Set small goals to get you to where you want to go. This give a visual and won’t overwhelm you. Some of us can’t set a big goal and stick to it. We get side tracked, and discouraged.

Finally, its ok to not have a big goal like starting a business or writing a book. It can be as simple as drinking more water. Whatever it is that will get you to where you want to be set the goal.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

I AM NOT A EXPERT

Disclaimer: I am not an expert. I am an expert of my life and my experiences. In fact, my degree is in Business Administration. However, in my time on this earth I have experienced some episodes that has brought me here to share, help, and grow with others. I came to a point where I wasn’t embarrassed to say I’m feeling depressed, sad, unhappy with my career, want to hit a reset button, or just in mood.

Once I got to the point of not feeling embarrassed, I was able to share and not go through it alone. The moment I shared my true feelings, I immediately felt 10lbs lighter, realized I wasn’t the only one, and wanted to make everyone feel good and get better. I knew I wanted to and needed to share with others they aren’t alone and its quite normal to have certain feelings.

The biggest mistake we make is not sharing, reaching out for help, or my reason, feeling like we are going to burden family and friends with our problems. So often we have this misconception that once we graduate from college and start a family, every thing is going to be roses. Welp that couldn’t be further from the truth and balancing that in itself is stressful.

After some reflections, I realized there was a period of time, approximately two years, I distanced myself from everyone until I was comfortable and confident enough to present myself as ME. In my distanced time, I reflected on what was making me angry, what I was anxious about in my professional career, what direction I wanted to go in my life, what kind of life I wanted to show my kids, and how I was going to get there.

I literally began speaking honestly with myself, my true feelings, what I wanted, and why I was making the decisions I was. Then I, unconsciously, began speaking them to my husband and once I did that I knew I was coming into me and feeling more confident.

My awareness was at its highest and still is. I began to notice how excited, passionate, and selfless I became when I would encourage others to live for themselves when they expressed to me they are unhappy.

I am not an expert. In fact, there are still times I feel stressed and emotionally drained. Guess what, that is a part of life. It’s how we deal with things thats going to determine what road we end up on. I rely on the tools that got me to this point when I begin to feel some type of way.

Please don’t feel like once you reach a point of ease its finished. This is a journey without a destination. Remembering the why you’re on this journey, what you want to get out of it, and where you want to end up will always get us back on track when we make a wrong turn or hit a bump in the road.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

mental health · Personal Growth · Self care · Spiritual Health

CHANGE

C-Choose you. Make yourself a priority. Whatever you’ve been doing that isn’t working for you, change it, and do the opposite to begin living for you.

H-Heal your open wounds. What you didn’t get when you were a child know its not your fault and give it to yourself now. Whatever hurt and pain you’re carrying free yourself from it and don’t let it keep holding you hostage from living the life you deserve and want. We can’t change what happened but we can learn and grow from it.

A-Achieve one goal this year. Begin with setting out to make one goal and work on that until you have achieved it. Change doesn’t happen in a finger snap, take baby steps until your courage and confidence builds.

N-Now is the time. If we always say next time, the time will never come. Things begin to change when we take action and do something.

G-Growth is a process. It takes us on twists and turns we didn’t expect. Embrace the journey and process. Change is uncomfortable, but thats how you know you’re growing.

E-Eliminate the negative talk about yourself. Be good to yourself, especially in your head and what you say to yourself. We know its very easy to pick out something we don’t like about ourselves, change that and point out all the goodness in you.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!

So today is my birthday and for the first time since I was a teenager I am speaking out about it. My typical attitude towards my birthday was to not say anything or even attempt to celebrate it. I’ve never been one of those that begin the week before reminding everyone its my birthday and to plan a week long festivities. When people would ask what you want for your birthday I would blow it off and not even acknowledge they are trying to acknowledge me.

I’ve always chosen to keep my birthday for me. I’ve used my birthday as a day to be with myself mostly mentally and emotionally to kind of reflect and use it as a day to set goals.

Last year I made the decision by my next birthday I was going to be in a better place, mentally and emotionally, and would have made progress in living in who I truly wanted to be. I began speaking aloud what I wanted to accomplish by this year’s birthday and what do you know, I’ve made huge milestones. To be perfectly honest with you guys that is the best gift in the world.

Most importantly I began being truly honest to myself in how I was feeling about my professional 8-5 career and what I wanted it to look like. I always had this vision in my mind and in my heart for years but never nurtured it. Once I began to nurture who I was on the inside I was feeling lighter and lighter as the days went on and feeling more free. Each step of the way I became more confident, encouraged, and motivated to continue on my journey of living the life that had been stifled inside of me.

I noticed I began saying more often “by the time I’m 40” I am going to be here, doing this, and have this accomplished. No I’m not 40, I turned 39 today, and yes I’m proud to say my age, but the goals I set for my 40th I know I’m on the right path.

I say all of this to say if you’re one that gets down because your birthday is coming celebrate yourself and how far you’ve come. It’s your day and you get to spend it however you like. It’s never too late to hit the reset button. You can change the course of your life’s direction and be happy. Just because it’s what you’ve always done or the safest doesn’t mean its the best or right thing for you.

Finally it doesn’t have to be your birthday for you to celebrate yourself or reflect. You can do it every day and don’t feel guilty about it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Healthy Lifestyle · Personal Growth · Self care

Self Care: Declutter and Make Room for Growth

Right now we live in a world where more is better. We’ve come addicted to having “stuff”. One for sure way to get yourself lost is surrounding yourself with an abundance of “things” or making yourself believe you need more than you need.

I’ve heard the saying a person’s home or car is reflection of who they are. No I don’t mean if they have a messy car or home then they are nasty. Being nasty and just having stuff laying around is two different things.

If you get a ride from someone and they have to clean the seat off for you to sit down then thats how they run their life. In most cases they are always in a rush or just barely making it to work or appointments on time. Even though they have a phone they probably missed the reminder or because their life is so sporadic they didn’t even set a reminder.

When you walk into a person home and if just seems like they have stuff everywhere with no meaning or purpose then that is a reflection of them. They may feel like they have to hold on to things and sometimes its hard for them to get rid of “stuff.” Holding on to trinkets for memories sometimes hold us back from moving on from things that has happened in the past.

If you find you look around and see stuff collecting dust, you don’t use it, or you haven’t wore a certain piece of clothing in a while then get rid of it. Most of the time once we declutter our home, our minds begin to open up. Getting rid of old stuff that doesn’t serve a purpose make room for something else to come into your life that have meaning.

Go through the closet and get rid of those old clothes and shoes that are out dated. You haven’t wore them in forever and saving for a “just in case” event is holding you back. If that event hasn’t come by now then you don’t need it. Most often when that “just in case event” comes you’ll probably go out and purchase something new.

When we declutter our home we renew mind and our new thoughts, ideas come to the forefront. Our creativity is refreshed and we get a new sense of purpose, our confidence is renewed, and we have motivation to push through whatever has been holding us back.

Purging old meaningless things allows us to let go of the past and move on. Holding on keeps us bound to certain events and things that happened to us. Decluttering gives you power to say I’m not going to live in the past and be stuck.

If you’re ready to grow, move on from the past, and renew your spirit get rid of the old and make room for new beginnings.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Mental Health · Personal Growth · Self care

Notes I Would Give To My Younger Self

For the last year or so I’ve really come into an understanding of who I am, where I want to go, and live the life I want. As I become more comfortable on this journey and actually see my vision come to pass, there are so many things I wish I had done in my younger years. Below are just a few things I would tell my younger self.

Little Rosalyn

Live In the Moment

In my younger years I always dreamed about my future and what it would look like. When you’re young the only thing you can think about is getting out your mothers house and living the life you want. But I now know literally enjoy each day and what that day has to bring. Yesterday was old news and anything that happened can’t be changed and tomorrow simply isn’t promised. Worrying about what could happen will rob you of the laughter you could have today. Stressing about yesterday keeps you stuck in the past. Most of the time what we’re worrying about is a made up scenario that we’ve created and typically situations always pan out the complete opposite of what we thought.

Always Go with Your Gut

When you’re younger the only goal you have is to make your family proud. That means we make decisions that go against our true desires. While its good to value their opinion and want their support, living the life that’s fulfilling to you would make them more proud to support you. Sacrificing our happiness to please others will fill us with a sense of resentment, anger, and emptiness. That creates another situation because we begin to blame them for “putting” us in that situation.

Whatever Other’s Think About You, Let Them Think It

I’ve come to understand what other’s criticisms of me are has nothing to do with me and is none of my business. With knowing that, it makes it easy to not take it personally. If we focus on what people say about how we should live our lives we would be a ball of mess. The most important thing to remember here is everyone is going to have an opinion. And yes, of course, it’s easier said than done to ignore some harsh criticisms, but remembering they’re projecting their own insecurities will help you brush it off every time. “I walk my journey and take the paths I want, if you want to go a certain path then you can take it on your own journey.”

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

One of the best pieces advice I carry with me is “never fit in, always stand out.” I firmly believe in expanding my horizons, trying something that is out of the ordinary, or taking risks that aren’t common. I love taking a risk because I learn something new about myself each time. Challenging myself and taking a risk increase my confidence, self esteem, and courage to know even if I fall I know I’m going to get back up. It doesn’t have to be something big. You can start small. If I see everyone is buying the same shoes or everyone is going for a certain color, I purposely choose the one color no one wants. It’s scary to put yourself out there on a limb but remember you already starting off strong by having the courage to stand alone.

Let the Chips Fall How They May

Trying to control everything in every situation does nothing but raise your blood pressure. Its impossible to try to control everything and we really shouldn’t. Some situations are better left to pan out how they are suppose to not how we want them to. Often times we work ourselves into a frenzy when how we thought a situation would go, it completely went in the opposite direction. Most often worked out better than we thought.

Don’t Do Anything If You Don’t Want To

If Ros don’t want to do it, then Ros don’t have to.” My father told me that when I was a teenager and that has stuck with me since. So often we do things and make decisions because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or we are guilted into something. We then resent and harvest anger at a person when all because we didn’t have the courage to say “No”. We can easily eliminate putting ourselves in uncomfortable positions by saying no thank you.

I’m pretty sure there are many more notes I would give to my younger self but these are the points I use daily on my walk.

RosalynLynn

Be free so you can be free.