16 THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN SOONER

When I was younger my mom used to tell me “when you get older you’ll understand.” I think we all heard that growing up at some point. Because when we’re teenagers and in our 20’s we know everything right. Well it’s some things that I wished were spoken to me sooner or I’d known sooner. They seem so simple and basic, yet it would have helped eliminate much tension, stress, and anxiety.

Things I Wish I Knew Sooner

-I will be ok and I will still live if no liked me
-It’s ok to say no to family and friends
-It’s ok to speak up, say how I feel, and express myself
-I am the only one in control of my life and career
-I control how my day goes
-Taking a break for myself and mental peace is essential
-Thoughts and attitude can change the course of your day and life
-Keeping my emotions intact and not reacting emotionally save heart ache
-I can start over as many times as I want
-I don’t have to be one thing, I can try and do everything that interest me
-Everything will work out
-No I could not have done more, I did what I was able to do with what I had
-You are suppose to enjoy life
-Sadness will come, bad days will happen, and I will get hurt
-I don’t need permission to feel how I feel
-Being different is good

Those are just a couple thoughts, feelings, and emotions I wish I knew sooner. Of course, when we get older and experience life certain things makes sense. Or, you’re more equipped mentally and emotionally to understand and process. Even now, that they are understood, doesn’t mean you may not have one of the above thoughts. That’s why life and happiness is a journey. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s how we handle the peaks and valleys of that journey. Don’t disturb your peace. Be patient, do what you can, and tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. Be well!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO BE TEMPORARY

Not everyone that comes into your life will be there for a lifetime. Some people are just meant to be in your life temporarily. In fact, most are just making a pit stop into your journey of life. And guess what, that is perfectly ok. There isn’t a reason to get upset, sad, or lose sleep over it. In actuality, even those that are there for a moment, will drop some valuable lessons and gems before leaving.

I just had this conversation with my son who’s a junior in high school. He’s beginning to realize some he thought was his friends really aren’t. Those who he thought would be there for the long haul has moved on to another destination. I had to remind him of how valuable and precious he is. Along with the best piece of advice I received when I first went to high school. That was “Your friends you have your freshman year, will not be your same friends your senior year.” That advice the teacher gave me could not have been more true. That statement holds true into adult hood.

As life flows so does we. Experiences and circumstances have us growing in many directions. So the friends you have in your 20s probably will fall off by the time your 30s roll in. When you hit your 40s that lightbulb gets so bright and your circle get even smaller.

The twist is, it doesn’t mean that you have this big fight or falling out. You just out grow some people. As we develop, we walk down different paths that put distance between us. Sometimes we circle back. Other times, we wave from a distance. Either way you’re going to be ok. 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

Those that were your friends in the beginning can’t always go with you. As you grow they may not be ready to grow. So sometimes you’ll have to leave them where they are until you guys catch up, if you do. But the worse thing to do is stop your progress because someone isn’t ready to grow with you.

Love yourself enough to be aware and know who is meant to be in your life temporarily. Let relationships be what they are, not what you think they should be or hope to be. Many times we hurt ourselves holding on to some relationships too long. It may hurt letting some relationships fizzle out. But trust yourself and the process. Trying to hold on to a relationship that’s dead will lead to resentment, stress, frustration and loss of happiness. The pain of dead weight is worse than working the pounds off.

Give your authentic self. Know what you want and need out of each relationship you have. Be vocal. Have healthy boundaries. Love and show compassion. Finally having 2 great relationships is better than having 10 one sided unhealthy relationships.

Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

“How does the believe I must be loved by everyone to be happy lead to unreasonable expectations and feelings of depression?”-Unknown

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 JOURNAL PROMPTS AFTER A BAD DAY

One of the best ways to dump a bad day is to journal about it before going to bed. Releasing and dumping all the bad from a day is great for you not to carry it over into the next. Also you will be able to have a good nights rest and sleep. Lastly, it will give you some insight on how to handle different emotions as they come again.

crop man showing diary with inscription in house

Journal Prompts For A Bad Day

What went well today? Seems weird right? Well there is at least one thing that turned out good in that day, or any day for that matter. This gives you the opportunity to redirect your mind and focus. SELF CARE HABITS: 8 DAILY HABITS TO FEEL YOUR BEST
What happened today that made me upset, cry, angry, sad, or hurt? Whatever happened or emotions you felt, explain them in great detail. This is your venting sessions. So let it all out.
I responded or reacted to said emotions by doing…How did you handle the days events. Did you lash out at someone? Hold it in. Let it effect your work day. Explain.
What did I learn? What did you learn from how you responded? What did you learn about the events that unfolded?
How will I handle these emotions in the future? Are there any new triggers you learned about yourself?
What do I need to let go of? Purge whatever it is you need to let go of. Do you need to forgive and move on.

Those are six journal prompts that always help me at the end of the day that I felt overwhelmed about. Try these journal prompts to help you get through your tough days or times. As always the purpose of the journaling is to get out the negative energy. One of the best ways to maintain a good mental and emotional balance, is to talk about your feelings, good or bad.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“We are born in 1 day. We die in 1 day. We can change in 1 day. We can fall in love in 1 day. Anything can happen in just 1 day.” – Gayle Forman

happiness is a piece of cake close up photography

I saw this and it immediately hit hard for me. Recently going through this transition with this position that I love but has a steep learning curve has tested me. Just yesterday I had a conversation with myself on how I was going to approach each day. How positive and motivated I go into each day. Has changed my perspective and outlook on my work day. No matter what’s going on in your life, a new day will come. You have the right and choice to make that day the best it can be. Each day is a fresh start. Along with that, each day will have it’s peaks and valleys. It’s how you handle the good and the bad. Sometimes how we handle the good can effect our mental and emotional health as well. 10 DAILY SIMPLE SELF CARE ACTIVITIES THAT WORK A good way to start each day is with great expectations of goodness. Being thankful that you do have another day to do this thing called life again. Choosing to do something different than you did yesterday that you didn’t like. Continuing to learn and grow with what you did enjoy about yesterday. Lastly, going to bed with a full light heart. Don’t leave anything undone to carry over into the next. Before you lay head to pillow, empty out the negative. All it takes is one day to redirect your life, thoughts, and happiness. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

9 REMINDERS OF BASIC SELF LOVE TIPS

The key to maintaining a healthy mental and emotional state is to keep it simple. There are some basic self love reminders that are simple and quick that will help in exercising self care. An important point to know is that to maintain a great wellbeing, is it has to be exercised daily. You don’t become mentally healthy and then it stays forever. Practicing small daily habits will help you maintain a positive mindset.

Self Love Tips

-Be you no matter what. Whatever situation or circumstance you’re in, remain true to you. If you are feeling sad, anxious, nervous, excited, or happy center yourself in the moment.

-Don’t let this moment pass you by without living in it. Accepting the now and knowing you are growing and progressing allows you to understand you better. Living in the moment give you the ability to be self aware. Self awareness is a key to healing and growth.

-Trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself. You know how you feel. Don’t let others opinions talk you out of your feelings, thoughts, or views. Your experience is valid. How you feel is valid. Trust yourself to be yourself.

-Leave the past behind. You can forgive. Of course you won’t forget. However, you can learn, grow, and heal through it. Don’t be bitter, angry, or resentful. Those negative emotions only hurt you.

-Baby steps are ok. Yes, we want to reach our goal or get to our destination, but each step along the way is there to teach us something. Even the bumps in the road are there to helps us for something in the future. One step at a time.

-Get creative. Don’t ignore your desires, passions, interest and hobbies. It is perfectly ok, to have interest in more than one thing. The key is to not start them all at once. Also make sure you see them all the way through when you start. Even if you find it’s not really your thing.

-Become the person you would want to be around. If you are needing to heal and correct some bad habits, then do so. We all have short comings. Knowing where we need to improve will allow us to be better for our family and friends.

-Be good to your mind and body. Taking care of yourself inside and out is the best free mental therapy you can do for yourself. No matter what you’re feeling focus the energy on you. 10 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY When you put time into yourself you’re processing the emotions and not placing frustrations out on someone else.

-Have fun. You were put on this earth for a purpose and live. Don’t let this life go by without laughing, taking risks, and experiencing joy. You deserve it and have a right to have fun.

Those are 9 self love reminders that I attempt to do on a daily. Not all reminders or habits will be exercised everyday but a couple each day is great practice. Even if you just hit one or two self love tips, you are making progress.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH

There are many things that we hold on to, carry, and simmer in that is bad for our mental and emotional health. Getting rid of all the negative thoughts, opinions, and views that we place on ourselves or accepted from others will definitely get us on the right track.

12 Things To Let Go

–Fear. Most of the the time it’s fear of what others think. Or the fear of the unknown. Either way let it go. Others point of view and opinions doesn’t define you. In the same breath, fearing the unknown isn’t going to help your growth.

–Anger. Holding on to anger causes wrinkles, heart attacks, stress, frown lines, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, weight gain on the other hand, and other fatigue that causes your entire wellness to deteriorate. While you’re holding on to that anger that situation is long gone, that person has slept peacefully, and you’ve lost time. Let it go for your mental sake.

–Resentment. Resenting someone or something requires you to hold and relive the past. How is that helping you? It’s not. Forgive. Understand the why. Learn the lesson. Create space. Move on. Let it go. Resentment isn’t hurting the other person it’s hurting you. Don’t continue to hurt yourself trying to hurt someone else.

–Guilt. Is a total waste of time. It isn’t going to change the past. Getting rid of guilt allows you to free yourself. A great reminder about feeling guilty is “you aren’t responsible for others happiness.” Let them carry their own weight. You can encourage them but not carry it for them.

–Overthinking. Letting go of overthinking will free you to actually be productive. As long as you are thinking about all the “what ifs”, you’re not doing. Stop thinking about it, and do. If you’re worried about a situation let it play out how it suppose to. Most of the time what we want or think is best isn’t the best.

–Low Self Esteem. If you aren’t feeling the most confident, then fake it until you make it. The more you act confident the more confident you’ll become. Confidence is a muscle that has to be exercised daily and consistently. MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH: 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

–Toxic Relationships. This is a no brainer. You know who you need to get rid of. No one has to remind you or tell you who’s not good for you. If you hesitate to answer a certain person call, then it’s time to put distance in that relationship. Who ever makes your mood change when they come around requires distance. It’s perfectly ok to love from a distance.

–Feeling of not being enough. You are perfectly you because God created you how He wanted. If God says you’re enough then no one on this earth can change that. Know it. Believe it. Feel it.

–Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. Perfection doesn’t exist. You’re just going to be a hamster on wheel chasing something imaginary. Let go of the wanting or liking to be or appear perfect. Everyone on this earth has flaws and kinks about them.

–Control. Trying to control everything and everyone is driving you crazy. You are losing sleep. Your focus and concentration is off. Wanting to have control is a sign of some internal healing that needs to take place. Ask yourself why do I feel the need to have control. That will lead you to the path of clarity.

–Doubt. Just do it. Doubting yourself is wasting time. It isn’t going to effect the outcome one way or another. The only thing doubt does, is kill your confidence and self esteem. Get rid of the doubt and go for your dreams. You can plan everything down to the minute, but something always throws a wrench in our plans. Do your best and forget the rest.

–The past. That’s long gone and ain’t coming back. (Yes I said ain’t.) The past isn’t going to change, won’t change, and doesn’t care about the now. Living in the past is stopping you from experiencing your life presently. Don’t rob yourself of happiness by reliving the past.

Those are 12 things you need to toss away to better your mental health. Yes, we’ve experienced some bad relationships and circumstances but most of our mental health issues comes from self inflicted pain. Don’t do others dirty work and constantly hurt yourself. Clean up those insecurities, bad habits, and negative ways of thinking to boost your mental and emotional wellness.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BE YOUR BEST WHERE YOU ARE

This new position has tested me. I went from being licensed in one state to being licensed in 50 states. Is this an opportunity of a lifetime, absolutely, but that comes with a great deal of unknown. I’ve had to sit and be still while the administrative portion plays out. I was being tested and didn’t even know it.

I had a moment where my license weren’t ready in most states. Therefore, I couldn’t perform and do my job. What was I to do? Doubt, discouragement, and a lot of questioning took place. However, I had an light bulb moment. I was tasked to monitor and take notes of another agent. In that moment I realized, Roz you’re being tested.

At first I felt like I had nothing to offer, nothing to do, and it was a waste of my time. But then I turned that into this is going to give me a leg up. I get to watch and hear someone else go through their growing pains. Make notes for myself on what I would do and not do in certain situations.

Next I was able to do what I love to do outside of my corporate job, and that’s motivate. With each call and client I was able to give her positive feedback, encouragement, and pep talk to get her through it. After the second day, I realized what I wanted to do next in this position. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time bonding and cheering on someone.

By the third day, I had a meeting with my coach to give my six months plans. Within a year or so their goal is to have you promoted. Not having my license in and having to monitor another agent, I was able to figure out my next move within this company. QUICK MONDAY MORNING MOTIVATIONAL TIP

Even when you feel like you have nothing to give, the steps God have you taking you don’t see the point, stay the course. Pass the test. Do your best while you are still. It’s going to set you up for your next step in life. No matter where you are, be the best right there. Each step is necessary for you to progress, learn, and grow. Skipping steps or not giving your all will make the journey just that much more difficult.

You can do nothing and be productive. Offering support is being productive. Waiting patiently and excitedly is being productive. Don’t give up because the process isn’t playing out how you think it should. Or if you have a bump in road. Stay the course.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Confidence makes us beautiful, and it comes from accepting yourself. The moment you accept yourself, it makes everything better.” -Diane Von Furstenberg, The Woman I Want To Be

There are two ways I gained confidence in myself and continue to use on a daily. First I tackled my insecurities, bad habits, and personality traits I didn’t care for. I would ask myself why does certain comments hurt my feelings. After being honest with myself and figuring out why certain things hurt my feelings, I dug deeper to figure out where that insercurity came from. Once I figured that out, I was able to acknowledge, recognize, and resolve it. The next way I gained confidence is in giving myself grace. It’s still a challenge, but not being too hard on myself and celebrating my wins has been a huge confidence booster. If you don’t celebrate yourself, then no one will. What’s a win for you isn’t a win for everyone else. 6 THINGS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT Each of our wins look different, feel different, and comes different. Confidence is a muscle. Dig deeper and clean up those dark places you don’t want to go. I guarantee you, your confidence will sky rocket. Have a great rest of your day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

8 WAYS TO FILL YOUR CUP UP

We’ve all heard the term “you can’t run on an empty cup”. There are several ways we can fill our cup to ensure the overall health of our wellness. Here are 8 ways I fill my cup for myself before pouring into others.

“Take time to do what makes your soul happy.”

-Binge watch a show you’ve recorded, been wanting to watch, or just heard so much about. I find when I make it point to sit down and watch TV, and the show is good, I get me in a good couch potato moment. Because the show is so good I can’t stop watching it. Thus I’ve had some much needed relaxing time for my body and brain not thinking about work, chores, kids activities, or anything else.

-Put the phone down. I’ve been filling my cup with this wellness tip very much lately. First I’m lazy. I don’t like holding the phone, talking on it too long, nor do I have the desire to text a whole dissertation. Because I’ve deleted my social media ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED it’s enabled me to become more creative in other areas. Challenge yourself to put the phone down. If you can’t, find something productive to read or watch a motivational video. It helps so much for your mental health.

-Have a private dance party session. So I get these in after I work out or clean up. I have my ear buds in and while I’m stretching or doing a cool down I make sure to dance and sing so loud as if I’m actually in a club. This allows my alter ego to let lose. Get funny and do things that you definitely will not have the confidence to do outside.

-Indulge in your favorite meal. Don’t deprive yourself because you need to watch your diet due to medical reasons or trying to remain physically fit. Every once in a while treat yourself to your favorite meal. You deserve it and earned it with all your hard work.

-Get some fresh air. Get outside. It doesn’t just have to be a walk. You can garden if that is your pass time of choice. Talk to a neighbor. Go walk the dog. Stand on the porch for a few minutes. Fresh air is one of the best ways to clear your mind and get an instant refresh.

-Have some me time. Take care of you. Pamper yourself. Clean your car. Change your home around. Get some new photos or decor up to recharge. Me time isn’t always about mani and pedi, facials, and going to the salon. Although that is important. But when I take my car to the car wash I have me time. Trying a new recipe and really working hard for it to come out great is me time as well. Do something that makes you feel free.

”Jobs fill your pocket, adventures fill your soul.”

-Have a good conversation with yourself. Talk to you about how you’re feeling. What has you upset or feeling anxious. How did you handle a situation you wish you could have done differently. Talk to yourself aloud and be honest with yourself. Only you know how you feel and what you really desire and think. THE ONLY PERSON YOU OWE IS…YOU

-Watch a motivational video or Ted Talk. I did not realize how much these videos open my eyes to a new perspective, idea, or communication. In addition to teaching me about myself and what my bad habits are. What I’ve done to hurt others or said. Even though we may have the best intentions, sometimes it doesn’t come out right or it isn’t the best timing. While cooking and cleaning I love to get in a good motivational video.

Those are 8 wellness tips I use to fill my cup before I pour into others. We can’t be of service to others and ourselves if we aren’t doing the work. Filling your own cup first, set an example. Sometimes we don’t have to say anything. Just by you practicing better habits and becoming a better you, will inspire someone else. YOU INSPIRE SOMEONE OUT THERE Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.