“How does the believe I must be loved by everyone to be happy lead to unreasonable expectations and feelings of depression?”-Unknown

The short answer is, your happiness will forever be based off what others think you’re worth, what you have to offer, and how they think you should be living your life.

looking for a friend bear

Having the beliefs that you must be loved by everyone to be happy stems from a lack of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. That means you are basing the value of your life on what others approve. In order to belief that everyone has to love you, you are seeking their approval and validation.

What happens when you consistently seek others approval and validation? You are living a life that other people think you should live. You aren’t making decisions for yourself. When it’s time to make a decision, you aren’t confident. Or, you don’t want the decision you make to offend other people or hurt their feelings. Although, it is the best choice for you.

Along with seeking validation, you’re going to forever be on a hamster wheel running for your life. Depending on who is around, that is how you’re going to answer, be, or exist. In short, you shift whichever way the wind blows. One day you’re going left, and the next you’re going right.

You aren’t thinking for yourself. Believing that everyone has to love you requires you to live for others happiness. If you are living to please others and make sure they are happy, your happiness gets put to the side. What you want in life and what makes you happy is different from others. No two people will want the same in life or go down the same path. It’s impossible to please everyone. KEY TO HAPPINESS: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours.

woman holding a paper with the word confident

If someone gets upset because you made a decision that benefits you, then they aren’t worthy of having a space in your life. You’re being emotionally manipulated. The demands, requests, and asks become increasingly inconvenient, unreasonable, and disrespectful. They will require more time than you have to give. Along with other resources such as money, belongings, favors, and your space.

People pleasing leads to depression because you will become mentally and emotionally fatigued. Eventually you won’t be able to keep up with the demands of everyone. You’ll feel like you’re on a never ending cycle. No matter what you do or how much you give, it won’t be enough. You will deplete yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. In the long run, you may begin to question what is right, what is normal.

As your physical health declines due to lack of nutrition, sleep, fatigue, and second guessing your mental health will suffer. Your ability to think things through is no longer there. You may become short fused, you’ve probably missed time with loved ones who really care about you. Most of the time relationships has suffered because they’ve warned you about said people.

Lastly, when you have given your soul and you have nothing left to give, those people that you thought loved you are long gone. When you are in need, you have absolutely no one to call on. That leads to a dark path of depression and anxiety. Now you are in rebuild mode, yourself and relationships you’ve lost. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION

Love yourself first. Love you enough to know that no one that really cares about you or your wellbeing will put unreasonable demands on you. It is perfectly ok to say no. Boundaries are a necessity in every relationship. Your boundaries are promises to yourself. Trust yourself enough to get you through. Be your own best friend first and build a great relationship with yourself. That way you know what you want and expect out of others.

Be well on your journey. Good Luck!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

TIPS TO MAINTAIN EMOTIONAL WELLNESS

What is emotional wellness? Emotional wellness is the ability to navigate, overcome, and conquer the hurdles that life puts in our pathway. How well do you handle rejection? Do you adapt to change well? When the going gets tough, do you respond or react emotionally. Here are some tips to help you maintain emotional wellness and balance.

two yellow emoji on yellow case

The one thing that stays in the front of my mind, is to always be in control of your emotions. Our emotions can cause us to make a decision that will lead to a snowball of other hurdles. Remaining calm, staying true to who you are, and knowing who you are is a major key.

Tips For Emotional Balance

-Allow yourself the grace and give yourself permission to say I’m going through something right now. A change is happening or there is a speed bump ahead and I’m scared. You may not even know how or when you’re going to get over that bump, but the sheer acknowledgement gives a clear pathway.

-Don’t make any quick or rational decisions. If you can or have the opportunity to, take a moment, hour, or day before responding. Giving yourself some time to step away and clear the lens will allow for a better understanding and thought process.

-Do something for you. Find an activity or hobby to get your mind off of what is going on. Have a refocus and a distraction. Exercise is always a good distraction because you’re also releasing tension. Whatever makes you happy or laugh do it.

-Find a positive. There is something in every situation that is a positive. Find the lesson. What are you supposed to take away? That is going to be the greatest gift of all. 8 FEEL GOOD SELF CARE ACTIVITIES

-Have a good night routine to wash the day away. Cleanse your mind, body, and spirit. The most harmful we can do is to take the days events into the next.

-Finally change is good. Change is needed. Without change we would not grow. Embrace change. Going through change is a sign that bigger and better is on your way. Open your mind to new possibilities. The more we fight change the harder it will seem.

Those are just a couple of tips to help maintain an emotional stable balance daily. Take it one day at time. If you can’t do everything you’d like to do in a day, then don’t. Whatever your emotional tank allows you to do then do it and leave the rest for a better day. We only get so much emotional energy in a day. Use it wisely.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Every fall is an opportunity to refocus.”- Anna Greenberg

green leafed plant

A major key to happiness is to not be afraid to fall. So often we don’t try because we’re afraid of “failing”. However, what hurts more than trying and failing, is to not try at all. Not trying at all will lead to a lifetime of suppressing, questioning, and trying to fill a void that only one thing can. So what if you tried and it didn’t work out. What’s the worst that can happen? Nothing. You learned what you like and what you don’t. You’ve gained knowledge, wisdom, and experience on what you’re good at and what you may need help with. Which gives you the upper hand the next time you do step out on a limb and fulfill your dreams. 10 WAYS TO LIVE HAPPIER What are you afraid of? People laughing. Saying I told you so. Starting over. Other people don’t define you or your success. Having a fall doesn’t define you either. It actually show just how much stamina you have to get up again and again. No matter what you want to do in life, try. There is no harm in trying and falling. The most successful people out there have started many businesses before they knew how to be good at running that one successful business you see. Have a great Sunday!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 JOURNAL PROMPTS AFTER A BAD DAY

One of the best ways to dump a bad day is to journal about it before going to bed. Releasing and dumping all the bad from a day is great for you not to carry it over into the next. Also you will be able to have a good nights rest and sleep. Lastly, it will give you some insight on how to handle different emotions as they come again.

crop man showing diary with inscription in house

Journal Prompts For A Bad Day

  1. What went well today? Seems weird right? Well there is at least one thing that turned out good in that day, or any day for that matter. This gives you the opportunity to redirect your mind and focus. SELF CARE HABITS: 8 DAILY HABITS TO FEEL YOUR BEST
  2. What happened today that made me upset, cry, angry, sad, or hurt? Whatever happened or emotions you felt, explain them in great detail. This is your venting sessions. So let it all out.
  3. I responded or reacted to said emotions by doing…How did you handle the days events. Did you lash out at someone? Hold it in. Let it effect your work day. Explain.
  4. What did I learn? What did you learn from how you responded? What did you learn about the events that unfolded?
  5. How will I handle these emotions in the future? Are there any new triggers you learned about yourself?
  6. What do I need to let go of? Purge whatever it is you need to let go of. Do you need to forgive and move on.

Those are six journal prompts that always help me at the end of the day that I felt overwhelmed about. Try these journal prompts to help you get through your tough days or times. As always the purpose of the journaling is to get out the negative energy. One of the best ways to maintain a good mental and emotional balance, is to talk about your feelings, good or bad.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“We are born in 1 day. We die in 1 day. We can change in 1 day. We can fall in love in 1 day. Anything can happen in just 1 day.” – Gayle Forman

happiness is a piece of cake close up photography

I saw this and it immediately hit hard for me. Recently going through this transition with this position that I love but has a steep learning curve has tested me. Just yesterday I had a conversation with myself on how I was going to approach each day. How positive and motivated I go into each day. Has changed my perspective and outlook on my work day. No matter what’s going on in your life, a new day will come. You have the right and choice to make that day the best it can be. Each day is a fresh start. Along with that, each day will have it’s peaks and valleys. It’s how you handle the good and the bad. Sometimes how we handle the good can effect our mental and emotional health as well. 10 DAILY SIMPLE SELF CARE ACTIVITIES THAT WORK A good way to start each day is with great expectations of goodness. Being thankful that you do have another day to do this thing called life again. Choosing to do something different than you did yesterday that you didn’t like. Continuing to learn and grow with what you did enjoy about yesterday. Lastly, going to bed with a full light heart. Don’t leave anything undone to carry over into the next. Before you lay head to pillow, empty out the negative. All it takes is one day to redirect your life, thoughts, and happiness. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

GROWTH CAN LOOK LIKE…

If you’ve been working on yourself, journaling, and seeking help then you’re probably experiencing some changes in how you think or approach situations. You are growing and don’t really know what’s happening. Well growth can look and be different on everyone. However, here are some signs you might be on the up and up.

a woman using a singing bowl while sitting

Growth May Look Like

-It has become easier to set boundaries, implement them, and see them through. You no longer are willing to accept mistreatment for the sake of keeping peace. Also, your boundaries may become stronger and wider.

-You no longer run from your emotions. Lie about how you feel. Or minimize the effect something or someone has on you. Good or bad you sit in your emotions, understand why you’re having the emotion, and grow through it.

-It has become easier and comfortable to talk about how you feel. You seek help or let someone know you need to talk. When someone asks how you’re feeling you are honest and say so. Asking for help can look like getting a therapist, journaling , talking to a friend, inspirational music, or videos.

side view of a woman doing yoga

-You know what your insecurities are, where they come from, and how they show up in your life. You’ve went to the dark place to figure out why comments, people, or situations get an arise out of you. Then you are wanting to correct those negative habits. That is what growth looks like.

-Your sympathy and empathy for others have shown through. You don’t make judgments or pass criticism on others. You attempt to understand how they feel and why they feel the way they do. Your empathy moves you to motivate and encourage them through their process.

-When you are triggered you no longer respond or react. The work have shown you what your triggers are, why they are there, and how to conquer them. It’s easier to move past an unwanted comment or situation.

-You seek deeper relationships with others and want to present your authentic self. You no longer hide or seek solitude. There are excitement to go out and communicate with others. Also your ability to converse with strangers comes easier.

Those are some tips that will help you to know you’re on the path to healing. Many of these tips I have seen in myself and continue to see growth. When you make progress or notice a change be sure to make note of it or journal your experience.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”- Vivian Greene

”I’ll buy that the next time I go back.”
”Next time we’re going to go to Paris.”
”The next time it goes on sale, then I’ll pick it up.”
”When I lose these 10lbs, then I’ll start to be happy.”
”When I save up for it, then I’ll buy it.”

monochrome photo of woman holding umbrella

We’ve all said a version of the above statements. Probably many more if, then statements at that. But, how many times have you said it. If we always live in the when I get stage…then we’ll never have or experience. You know this from experience when you were younger. How many times have your parents told you the next time we come back to the store I’ll buy “it” for you. And you never ended up with it. Just because something is going on or there is a storm doesn’t mean life stops. It will rain again and again. Get an umbrella, rain coat, hat, or dry off when the storm is over. But whatever you do, don’t stop life and sit waiting. Time we can’t make up and we won’t get back, and there are no do overs for time. Enjoy the rain and shine. 5 PERSONAL MANTRAS FOR A HAPPIER LIFE Happy Sunday Funday!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

9 REMINDERS OF BASIC SELF LOVE TIPS

The key to maintaining a healthy mental and emotional state is to keep it simple. There are some basic self love reminders that are simple and quick that will help in exercising self care. An important point to know is that to maintain a great wellbeing, is it has to be exercised daily. You don’t become mentally healthy and then it stays forever. Practicing small daily habits will help you maintain a positive mindset.

sitting blur reflection face

Self Love Tips

-Be you no matter what. Whatever situation or circumstance you’re in, remain true to you. If you are feeling sad, anxious, nervous, excited, or happy center yourself in the moment.

-Don’t let this moment pass you by without living in it. Accepting the now and knowing you are growing and progressing allows you to understand you better. Living in the moment give you the ability to be self aware. Self awareness is a key to healing and growth.

-Trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself. You know how you feel. Don’t let others opinions talk you out of your feelings, thoughts, or views. Your experience is valid. How you feel is valid. Trust yourself to be yourself.

-Leave the past behind. You can forgive. Of course you won’t forget. However, you can learn, grow, and heal through it. Don’t be bitter, angry, or resentful. Those negative emotions only hurt you.

-Baby steps are ok. Yes, we want to reach our goal or get to our destination, but each step along the way is there to teach us something. Even the bumps in the road are there to helps us for something in the future. One step at a time.

photo of vintage stationery

-Get creative. Don’t ignore your desires, passions, interest and hobbies. It is perfectly ok, to have interest in more than one thing. The key is to not start them all at once. Also make sure you see them all the way through when you start. Even if you find it’s not really your thing.

-Become the person you would want to be around. If you are needing to heal and correct some bad habits, then do so. We all have short comings. Knowing where we need to improve will allow us to be better for our family and friends.

-Be good to your mind and body. Taking care of yourself inside and out is the best free mental therapy you can do for yourself. No matter what you’re feeling focus the energy on you. 10 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY When you put time into yourself you’re processing the emotions and not placing frustrations out on someone else.

-Have fun. You were put on this earth for a purpose and live. Don’t let this life go by without laughing, taking risks, and experiencing joy. You deserve it and have a right to have fun.

Those are 9 self love reminders that I attempt to do on a daily. Not all reminders or habits will be exercised everyday but a couple each day is great practice. Even if you just hit one or two self love tips, you are making progress.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

12 THINGS TO GET RID OF FOR A BETTER MENTAL HEALTH

There are many things that we hold on to, carry, and simmer in that is bad for our mental and emotional health. Getting rid of all the negative thoughts, opinions, and views that we place on ourselves or accepted from others will definitely get us on the right track.

mind your head signage

12 Things To Let Go

Fear. Most of the the time it’s fear of what others think. Or the fear of the unknown. Either way let it go. Others point of view and opinions doesn’t define you. In the same breath, fearing the unknown isn’t going to help your growth.

Anger. Holding on to anger causes wrinkles, heart attacks, stress, frown lines, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, weight gain on the other hand, and other fatigue that causes your entire wellness to deteriorate. While you’re holding on to that anger that situation is long gone, that person has slept peacefully, and you’ve lost time. Let it go for your mental sake.

Resentment. Resenting someone or something requires you to hold and relive the past. How is that helping you? It’s not. Forgive. Understand the why. Learn the lesson. Create space. Move on. Let it go. Resentment isn’t hurting the other person it’s hurting you. Don’t continue to hurt yourself trying to hurt someone else.

Guilt. Is a total waste of time. It isn’t going to change the past. Getting rid of guilt allows you to free yourself. A great reminder about feeling guilty is “you aren’t responsible for others happiness.” Let them carry their own weight. You can encourage them but not carry it for them.

Overthinking. Letting go of overthinking will free you to actually be productive. As long as you are thinking about all the “what ifs”, you’re not doing. Stop thinking about it, and do. If you’re worried about a situation let it play out how it suppose to. Most of the time what we want or think is best isn’t the best.

Low Self Esteem. If you aren’t feeling the most confident, then fake it until you make it. The more you act confident the more confident you’ll become. Confidence is a muscle that has to be exercised daily and consistently. MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH: 3 THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

Toxic Relationships. This is a no brainer. You know who you need to get rid of. No one has to remind you or tell you who’s not good for you. If you hesitate to answer a certain person call, then it’s time to put distance in that relationship. Who ever makes your mood change when they come around requires distance. It’s perfectly ok to love from a distance.

Feeling of not being enough. You are perfectly you because God created you how He wanted. If God says you’re enough then no one on this earth can change that. Know it. Believe it. Feel it.

Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. Perfection doesn’t exist. You’re just going to be a hamster on wheel chasing something imaginary. Let go of the wanting or liking to be or appear perfect. Everyone on this earth has flaws and kinks about them.

Control. Trying to control everything and everyone is driving you crazy. You are losing sleep. Your focus and concentration is off. Wanting to have control is a sign of some internal healing that needs to take place. Ask yourself why do I feel the need to have control. That will lead you to the path of clarity.

Doubt. Just do it. Doubting yourself is wasting time. It isn’t going to effect the outcome one way or another. The only thing doubt does, is kill your confidence and self esteem. Get rid of the doubt and go for your dreams. You can plan everything down to the minute, but something always throws a wrench in our plans. Do your best and forget the rest.

The past. That’s long gone and ain’t coming back. (Yes I said ain’t.) The past isn’t going to change, won’t change, and doesn’t care about the now. Living in the past is stopping you from experiencing your life presently. Don’t rob yourself of happiness by reliving the past.

Those are 12 things you need to toss away to better your mental health. Yes, we’ve experienced some bad relationships and circumstances but most of our mental health issues comes from self inflicted pain. Don’t do others dirty work and constantly hurt yourself. Clean up those insecurities, bad habits, and negative ways of thinking to boost your mental and emotional wellness.

Be well on your journey.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

BE YOUR BEST WHERE YOU ARE

This new position has tested me. I went from being licensed in one state to being licensed in 50 states. Is this an opportunity of a lifetime, absolutely, but that comes with a great deal of unknown. I’ve had to sit and be still while the administrative portion plays out. I was being tested and didn’t even know it.

I had a moment where my license weren’t ready in most states. Therefore, I couldn’t perform and do my job. What was I to do? Doubt, discouragement, and a lot of questioning took place. However, I had an light bulb moment. I was tasked to monitor and take notes of another agent. In that moment I realized, Roz you’re being tested.

At first I felt like I had nothing to offer, nothing to do, and it was a waste of my time. But then I turned that into this is going to give me a leg up. I get to watch and hear someone else go through their growing pains. Make notes for myself on what I would do and not do in certain situations.

Next I was able to do what I love to do outside of my corporate job, and that’s motivate. With each call and client I was able to give her positive feedback, encouragement, and pep talk to get her through it. After the second day, I realized what I wanted to do next in this position. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time bonding and cheering on someone.

By the third day, I had a meeting with my coach to give my six months plans. Within a year or so their goal is to have you promoted. Not having my license in and having to monitor another agent, I was able to figure out my next move within this company. QUICK MONDAY MORNING MOTIVATIONAL TIP

Even when you feel like you have nothing to give, the steps God have you taking you don’t see the point, stay the course. Pass the test. Do your best while you are still. It’s going to set you up for your next step in life. No matter where you are, be the best right there. Each step is necessary for you to progress, learn, and grow. Skipping steps or not giving your all will make the journey just that much more difficult.

You can do nothing and be productive. Offering support is being productive. Waiting patiently and excitedly is being productive. Don’t give up because the process isn’t playing out how you think it should. Or if you have a bump in road. Stay the course.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.