Have you ever prayed for something and felt like you’ve been waiting for a while or it was never answered? Because we humans are emotional creatures, many times our prayers have been answered but we’re too in our head to realize it.
This lightbulb just went off for me recently. For many years I constantly said to myself and others I didn’t want a 9-5, Monday thru Friday job. The thought of doing the same thing over and over again, having no time during the week to handle business, and essentially a weekend that‘s non existent was something I wasn’t interested in.
Welp, I ate those words. Now don’t get me wrong I love being in the professional world, contributing to an office, and using what I’ve learned and went to school for. Balancing books, spreadsheets, financial reports, and budgets makes my heart flutter. However, I had so many other interest I wanted to pursue.
Recently I was honest with myself and husband in saying I no longer wanted to do a 9-5 because I wanted to pursue some other ventures. I knew I could pursue my gifts whilst making sure my family didn’t feel any effects financially.
Pre COVID-19 my attitude and emotions toward my professional job changed. I enjoy what I do, however staying until 5PM was beginning to weigh on me. I began feeling like my time was better suited at home taking care of my kids, husband, home, and personal ventures. Yes, many others would love to sit idle and make “free” money. So often I would tell family and friends I feel unproductive and I’m wasting time by sitting here.
They would respond in telling me that it’s easy, free money. Well I wasn’t happy just sitting there doing nothing knowing deep down my mind was elsewhere. So my happiness and eagerness every morning dwindled as time went on.
Now COVID-19 had come and the world went to a shut down but we continued to work through it. I was given the pleasure to choose what shift I wanted because only one person could be in the office at a time. Well that was a nice gift right there but I couldn’t receive it as a gift at that time. So anyway, I chose the 7am-1pm shift. I am a morning person. I was excited to have time to work, take care of my family, home and still have time to pursue what I wanted.
I fell in love with this shift and after weeks into the months I couldn’t envision myself going back to a nine hour day. I remember standing in my kitchen telling my husband I would love to stay on this shift because I was seeing my vision for the life I wanted to live begin to form.
Well literally God answered my prayers with in a week. My boss came to me with a proposition of remaining part time on my shift so he can bring back an old friend full time. When he approached me I felt insulted and unappreciated because he used the fact that I valued being a mom to get what he wanted. All the while it was what I wanted as well. Because it was packaged in old wrinkly wrapping paper with no bow I didn’t realize the amazing gift that was being handed to me.
Needless to say I felt every emotion. How dare he to proposition me like that. Mind you I just told my husband I wanted to stay on this shift of 7-1. So I reluctantly agreed and instantly went into my feelings.
I was angry that I was doing a full time job on part time hours. While the other person enjoy doing nothing. Remember what I said a little while ago, about how being there until 5pm, I felt like I was wasting time.
Eventually duties began getting taken away and they let it be known their preference on who they wanted to handle certain duties. Once again I’m in my feelings y’all. Because these gifts aren’t being wrapped in pretty packaging with bows I wasn’t realizing God was giving me the shift I wanted, taking away duties so I wouldn’t feel like I was doing another person job, and answering my Prayers.
Now school has started and I need to be available before and after school. Well I was once again given the gift of “let me know when you want to come in and what hours you want to work”.
No joke I literally make my schedule and work how many hours I want. At one point I was given a compliment of how I get more work done in 5 hours than a normal person does in 8 hours. I was grateful for the compliment but because these gifts I was “given” was wrapped in old paper I couldn’t fully appreciate it.
Because they would say things like, you’ve got us to a good place but we want her to handle it now, I felt some type of way. Or, you really good at what you do, but she knows how I like things done. Then I got, if you ever want to go back full time let me know because you come first. All the while I was thinking, if I’m your first priority, why are you choosing someone else over me? This was God giving me exactly what I wanted. When I spoke to my husband that day in the kitchen, God heard my cry, and delivered.
OMG!!! I am blessed and had to look back to see how every prayer was answered. I literally got everything I asked for. I love being a mom and wife, taking care of the house and making sure they have the time, energy, and love they need to succeed. I also love having the ability to pursue my interests and hobbies that makes me, Me. I love being able to work outside the home and provide.
Guys this has taught me to get out my head and get out my feelings because if not I would’ve missed or even lost some blessings. Just because things aren’t answered how we want them to, when we want them to be answered, and who we want God to use doesn’t mean that our prayers isn’t answered.
Be you so you can be free.