5 LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

As I grow and enjoy my journey I’m learning to celebrate the small things in life and appreciate the moments that some may look over. Lately, there are some things that I realize bring me more joy than a piece of cheesecake, my favorite dessert. It’s more important to take a look back each night, week, month or year and appreciate the finer things that brings you joy. Here are just a few things that make me feel whole, comfort, and at peace each day.

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  • Watching TV with my daughter nightly. It has become a ritual these last couple months for us to watch something of her choosing. Or sometimes she’ll get into a program I recorded and want to watch. But this is our way of chatting without it seeming like it’s a task or me trying to get information. We learn from each, get to know each other, and discuss things that probably won’t come up on a regular.
  • Dropping my kids off at school. I think I look forward to this because it’s my way of sending them off. I get to motivate and pour into them while in the car. I know this won’t last long as they get older and graduate. It’s sort of our quiet time to enjoy each other before starting our busy day and reconvening later in the day.
  • Monthly salon appointment. I look forward to this appointment because I get to talk to a bunch of women, divulge in beauty talk and products, and leave feeling like a brand new woman. It’s something I do for me that makes me feel good on the inside more than the outside. 9 DAILY FEMININE SELF CARE HABITS TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
  • New Inspirational Journals. These gems I purchased from the dollar store has really allowed me to purge my thoughts, feelings, and desires without filter. I get to be my true honest self and not worry about being perfect or writing perfectly. After writing I feel lighter and ready to tackle the day. Journaling has allowed me to clear my thoughts for new inspiration.
  • Daily pampering. Each morning I have to take care of feminine self. Starting with my skincare routine, perfume, and jewelry. Just dolling myself up a bit keeps my spirits up. When you don’t get dressed or doll yourself up sometimes it’s easy to get into a slump. You don’t need a special event to get dressed up or glam yourself.

Those are 5 little things that brings me joy. Focusing on what makes me feel good inside and out keeps my mind open for new positive thoughts. If you’re feeling a little blue, I encourage you to look back at your day and make a list of things that make you feel good. The smallest acts have the greatest impact.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 SIMPLE HABITS TO BE GOOD TO YOU

We see it all the time, “be good to yourself”, “be kind to yourself”. The interpretation is that it takes a lot of money, fancy material things, or a perfect life. When in actuality it’s the simple daily habits you do for you that is the most beneficial. Trust me, I was one of those that didn’t think the small things mattered. But as I do them everyday and multiple times a day, it is the best free form of therapy. 7 JOURNAL PROMPTS FOR A GOOD WEEK

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Simple Habits To Be Good To You

  • Rest. Simple enough right. Living off 2 hours of sleep doesn’t do anyone good. I remember years ago when everyone was talking grinding and getting no sleep. That is nonsense. Your body and mind needs rest to recharge. Give yourself a cut off time for work. Make a day where you do nothing but binge something on the tube. Rest yourself. Everyone will benefit from it.
  • Take a day off. No longer do I feel guilty for taking a day or even a half a day. Sometimes you just need to unplug and log off. Have a moment without the kids home, or your spouse. Sit in silence and in peace. Use your PTO. Sometimes you just need a break from work. I know the weekend or the 2 days off you may get isn’t enough for me sometimes.
  • Eat yourself some colors. If you need some inspiration, Pinterest will give you all the recipes you need to expand your pallet and not get bored with the same dishes over and over again. If you can’t eliminate certain foods completely, just cut back. Simply cutting back on sugar, salt, and processed foods will make a huge difference in how your body feels.
  • Read, journal, pray, meditate. Whatever you need to center yourself, DO IT. There is so much power in focusing our minds on the positive filling up that mental health bank. Daily practices of mental and emotional self care will have your mental health bank so full that when you do need to withdraw from it, there won’t be a dent in it. Find something that works for you.
  • Don’t compare yourself. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone else’s journey may appear smoother and better doesn’t mean the aren’t walking a bumpy road. Live your journey and only yours. What’s meant for you will find it’s way to you when it’s the right time. Sometimes we can be given gifts at the wrong time in life, and we’ll lose it because we weren’t ready for it and didn’t know how to handle it.
  • Move your body. Along with eating colorful, moving your body will help eliminate many health problems. I know as I’ve grown I have to get up and stretch because my body just gets stiff. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme. But just work muscles and move your body to get the blood flowing better.

Those are some daily good for you habits that can be done anytime. Being good to you, doesn’t require much. You deserve to feel good inside and out. Sometimes no matter what someone does for us, we just have to make our own self feel good. Be good to you. You deserve it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

6 THINGS THAT DRAINS YOUR ENERGY AND TIME

On a daily we worry about things that are out of our control. We also give time, conversation, and resources to people and things that don’t deserve our energy. Hence, we end up disappointed, sad, angry, and frustrated because we didn’t get a return on our investment. Part of self care is realizing and prioritizing certain things that are worth our time and energy. Once we accept and acknowledge our worth, we’ll be able to manage and dedicate ourselves to people and things that serves us good.

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6 Common Things That Waste Our Time

  • People pleasing. For some people, no matter what you do or give it just won’t be enough. It will seem as if the goal post just keeping moving. For those that are always requiring more of you, they are lacking in something you can’t fulfill. That is for them to figure out and make peace with. You do what you can within your power and limits. Also do what you want. Just because you have the time and resources doesn’t mean you have to exhaust them out.
  • Proving yourself to others. You are good enough just the way you are. What you have, what you make, where you live, your job, or anything else. You are the only one like you that exist in this world. No matter how hard someone tries, they can’t be like you and furthermore, you can’t make yourself into something else. With where you are and what you have to offer, if it’s not good enough then they don’t deserve the air you breathe.
  • Holding on to anger. I was very good at holding on to a grudge and anger. Guess what? That did nothing for my mental and emotional wellbeing. The only thing I kept repeating was, “but you don’t understand what they did to me.” Letting anger go doesn’t mean the action didn’t occur. It simply says I’m not going to let that person or event continuously hurt me. Nor control or dictate how I proceed in life specifically in relationships. Letting that anger go is for you more than the other person. MOTIVATIONAL HEALING: LEARN YOUR SOURCE OF ANGER
  • Trying to be perfect. Perfect is boring. There is no way on earth anyone can be perfect. Trying to chase perfectionism robs you of your joy and enjoying the gifts you have now. Instead of living in the moment and appreciating where you are, it’s being overlooked. Also when chasing perfection we’re tying to present a version of ourselves that don’t exist. Be you. You are perfectly imperfect.
  • Self doubt, negative self talk, and overly critical. This does nothing for our emotional wellness. Sometimes we think being hard on ourselves is being humble or self motivating. Some of us are conditioned to not even pat ourselves on the back or celebrate our wins. It is very important to celebrate ourselves even the small wins on a daily. Believe it or not, we can put ourself down worst than anyone else. Talk good to you. Build yourself up.
  • Not forgiving. Yes, this is tough. But forgiveness is truly for you. You need to sleep at night. Move on with your life. Learn from the events and situation, so you can possibly see the signs and prevent it from happening again. Not forgiving, says so much about us more than the person that caused the trauma. They have to pay for what they did to you and you can’t say when or how it will happen.

Those are 6 things that I had to learn to let go in order to get to the daily life I envision for myself. With active daily practice and exercises, there will be a point you can live for you and not worry about what others think. However, when you get to that point, don’t stop. Keep doing the affirmations, journaling, prayer, meditation, and therapy that got you there. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”-Maya Angelou

white twist light bulb

It took me years to realize I mattered and I can and should take care of myself. Especially when I was a stay at home mom. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything, I should have anything, or do anything for myself. Every fiber was focused on my home and family. Until a couple times we were leaving for trips and I realized I had nothing to pack. I always made sure everyone has had everything they wanted and needed and never took care of myself. Then a light bulb came on. Me taking care of myself isn’t selfish. Buying myself something and making sure I feel good about myself will help my marriage and my relationship with my kids. To anyone having a hard time putting themselves first, DO IT!!!!! You are not selfish. You of all people are the only one who knows what you need, want, and desire. Furthermore, your loved ones will thank you for it. Taking care of you is letting others know how you want to be loved. We can’t put that burden on someone else to make us feel good and happy. That isn’t fair. But they definitely can encourage you to continue and support you through it. Our happiness isn’t someone else’s responsibility. MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY In the same breath, we aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness. If you don’t take care of you, no one else will have an outline on how to be in relation with you. You owe you. Be good to yourself. Enjoy the rest of the day!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS: KEEPING MYSELF CENTERED

Over the last six months I’ve made a huge transition in my professional career and it has been a challenge finding balance with the schedule. I envisioned this position for a couple of years and now it’s almost as if I’m not really living in that vision sometimes. Trying to keep balance of being a mom, wife, the blog, and other ventures I had to really think, pause and center myself. Think about this new chapter, where I am going, and what I want to do.

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But first there are some mental health reminders I had to activate and actively practice to get me to my understanding, self awareness, and peace with myself. As we grow and transition in life our mental and emotional health also transitions. It is up to us to be aware and recognize there are some mental health habits that needs more practice, some needs to be substituted, and others we may have to adopt all together.

  1. There is power in honesty. The immense amount of power that you receive when you are honest with yourself can be overwhelming. I’ve come to know the more honest I am with how I am feeling mentally, physically, and emotionally helps me with the next step in recognizing the why. When you own your truth no one can abuse you or use your truth against you. I began to peel back the layers in why certain things were making me feel uncomfortable or why I may not have 100% locked in. Also being honest about what you want to do in life and not feel bad. My biggest hurdle was speaking aloud, even though I had this amazing position with great benefits, flexibility, and support, my heart was still yearning for the dream God placed in me. I’ve heard it a million times, once God places a vision or dream in you, no matter what you do or have, that dream or vision isn’t going to leave you. So now I am at a place to figure how to deliver on what was placed in me.
  2. My happiness has to come from me. No one person, no amount of money, material things, or event can give me happiness. I have to be happy with who I am at this current moment, in this body, in this skin, in this home, with all the blessings I’ve been given. My happiness has to come from me knowing it is ok to dream big, have dreams no one understands, and that they can happen if I do the work. There is no such thing as I’ll be happy when….Everything that you have right now is what you’ve asked for. Now, is it ok to always want to grow, be better, do better and have better, absolutely. I know I have the right to do what makes me happy and I don’t need permission from anyone to do so. I was speaking to a client earlier in the week and she was a mature woman in her 60s. She was retired but substitute teacher part time and show homes for Redfin part time. In the middle of the conversation she says I can work when I want. I’m a little vain, I like to get Botox. She is happy living her life and doing what makes her happy. You have to be fearless when it comes to your happiness.
  3. There is power in writing. Writing down your dreams. Vision for your life. Your fears. Your wants. Your desires. Whatever comes to mind, there is power in writing. I am an advocate for journaling. However, I now know the power in writing everyday. Sometimes I write 2x a day. An hour before work I sit down and write. No plan. Just pen to paper. The thoughts you can purge is gratifying. The prayers and conversation you can have speaking with God and writing your dreams down is powerful. I’ve heard many say writing is therapeutic, they are right. In the beginning I had no idea how to write, what to say, or where to begin. I purchased these amazing Inspirational Journals from the dollar store of all places and I haven’t been able to put the pen down. They are themed scripture based prompts for you to write. I read the verse at the top of the page and write down my interpretation in the spiritual sense, mental and emotional wellbeing, and in my lifestyle. For only $1, each day I can journal my way to peace and happiness. The themes are Truth, Joy, Courage, and Wisdom.

Those are three mental health reminders that I’ve over worked these last several months. My self awareness has afforded me great understanding and healing. Writing has been the best to get my honest thoughts out without judgement or embarrassment. Fearing no one will understand. And my understanding of knowing each day I am on a journey there is no destination to happiness. HAPPINESS ISN’T A DESTINATION It’s always evolving. Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -Louise L. Hay

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The one thing I know is, what we tell ourselves hurts us more than anything someone else says or does. You wanna know why? We believe everything we tell ourselves. Furthermore, we are very good at talking ourselves out of something. We can think of a scenario and situation in our heads and it never happened. Have you ever played out a conversation or arguement in your head? We’ve all done that at one point, “the next time I see XYZ and they say this, I’m going to say this.” Oh!!!! How many times have you started your day complaining about everything you had to do at work, how you didn’t want to talk to certain people, or how that coworker gets on your last nerves. Then you get to work, and the sheer sight of your coworker turns your smile upside down. Why? Because we’ve already talked ourselves into not wanting to have a good day or interaction. No matter what the situation or circumstance is, what we tell ourselves has a direct impact on how our day and life goes. Sadly, we are very good at talking ourselves into a negative mindset. Don’t you think we can be even better at talking ourselves into a positive mindset. The last two weeks, before I even turn on my computer I write for 1-2 minutes on a notebook of nothing but positive thoughts, affirmations, and prayers. It’s not uniformed or grammatically correct. My intentions are to ensure I’m in the right mindset, positive self talk, and motivation. If you are experiencing too many negative thoughts try turning those into some positives. 10 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS

Example of My Morning Notes:

I am fearless
I am brave
I am strong
I am a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and worker
I am good at my job
God give me the strength to replace any negative thoughts with positive
God thank you for keeping me so many times, thank you for saving me, thank you for my family and our health
I am in control of my emotions
I give myself grace

That’s what came to mind yesterday morning. Sometimes it’s less and other times it’s more. But every day, moment, and direction of our life depends on how we view it, handle it, and overcome. Most importantly it’s what we say to ourselves quietly that hurts the most. So those things you are saying that no one hears, turn those into positives and tell yourself good things. Have a great day!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY: NEW YEAR EDITION

“Just a reminder that you don’t have to make resolutions. Or huge decisions. Or big proclamations. You can just set some sweet intentions and take each day as it comes.” Victoria Erickson

letter tiles beside mandarins

Please don’t feel the pressure to make some grand resolutions or major life changes. Typically any kind of lifestyle change or habit has to be developed. You don’t just wake up one day and say I’m going to start this and sustain that resolution long term. Hence, why most new year resolutions don’t make it past the end of January. To begin anything, you have to make a commitment mentally first. Instead create small goals, tasks, and intentions that you can stick to for a while and then add as you go. 10 NEW YEAR SELF CARE HABITS FOR A FRESH START The small daily self care habits and intentions are what builds up to a major lifestyle change. The last couple weeks of December I made a commitment to speak at least 3-5 affirmations aloud to myself in the mirror every morning. Sometimes I will do it in the middle of the day and before I go to bed. This gives me the mental mindset to remain positive, calm, and take action throughout the day to reach my goals. Setting small intentions for the day or week is easier attainable than long term goals. Instead of saying I’m going to lose 20lbs this month, commit to “I will work out 20 minutes 3x a week.” You’ll find that is easier to follow through with. Sometimes we can bite off more than we can chew. Which leads to discouragement, then eventually not doing anything at all. Think about one thing you want to accomplish this year and focus on that. My word this year is self awareness. I had many moments of self reflection and light bulb moments toward the end of the year that enlightened me on how I show up. I want to continue that to ensure my relationships, career, and life is fulfilled with the intentions I set out to achieve and possess. Enjoy each day, each moment, have no regrets, and be the best you, you can be each day. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

I HAD TO TAKE MY OWN ADVICE

I had to take my own advice and pause for a moment. These last couple of months has been a season of change. In order to be in the moment, understand my assignement and what I was supposed to get out of it, I had to give myself permission to focus. Not just focus, but prioritize and make sure my feet were planted.

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As I’ve stated in some previous posts, late August I accepted a position that I’d been wanting and working hard for. With that came the transiton of working remotely full time, a 12 week fast track training, and longer hours. Not to mention this began at the very start of the school year.

Trying to juggle the new postion, transition my home and create an office space, and manage school activities I felt like a hamster on a wheel. Along with that, I was still freelancing and selling on Poshmark. Yes, I know, doing wayyyyyy too much.

Although I asked for each gift, position, and blessing I knew I couldn’t put a 100% into all of them. Plus keep my sanity, be a mom, wife, and maintain my home. So I took my own advice and paused for a moment. I needed to reset my mind and expectations. First on the whole idea of working from home full time. My lifestyle was going to change vastly.

I decided to spend Saturday morning 2-3 hours posting and creating new Poshmark listings. That way throughout the week I can manage and maintain my closet. I use my lunch and breaks to drop my sales off at the post office. Next, I accept freelance contracts that doesn’t take too much of my time. Which ironically I’ve enjoyed and been able to deliver great pieces of work.

But I will say that has been the one ironic thing about this entire situation. My self awareness, self care, and mental health has been great and heightened. I knew it was going to be a change and I had to work at it everyday while on this new path and journey.

Working from home allows me to get laundry done throughout the day and even get dinner done by the time the kids get home from school. Therefore, it frees my time up to be with the family when I get off. I still wake up early in the morning before everyone else and tidy if I hadn’t done so the night before. I’m able to have a moment to myself, get dressed, and mentally prepare for the day.

I’ve added 10 minutes of meditation before starting work. Increased my reading time during breaks and before I go to bed. Maintaining my cut off time of 9p.m. No matter what hasn’t been done or said checking out mentally and emotionally has helped me keep my joy and peace. I’ve noticed I have a great nights sleep when I sleep with the oil diffuser going.

Because I am remote, and we have to be on camera quite a bit, my skin care has also heightened. I take my time on my night time skin care routine to ensure I awake with bright, smooth, moisturized, and glowing skin. In the morning I keep my skincare routine to a minimum while focusing on my eyes and moisture. Working remotely also has me playing around with minimal makeup looks to make sure I am still professional and work ready. Lastly, I still get dressed as if I am going into the office. Outside of my comfy fuzzy socks.

Now my schedule is about to change again this week. I’ve learned to get comfortable with change and I really do enjoy my job and all the blessings I’ve been privileged to have. I am very thankful for the self awareness most of all. The ability to be honest with myself and say you need to prioritize, reset expectations I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS, and not over extend yourself has been the best self care I can ever do or have for myself.

It’s the end of the year and holiday season. Before you have a blow up, a breakdown, or get sick, take a break or step away. Ask yourself what is more important to you in this season or journey. What shall you let go of. What is worth putting time and effort into. Have I neglected my mental, physical, and emotional health. Be well.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” -@anxietypositive

This is exactly what I had to do this week. In my new position we’re given six weeks to hit 5 milestones. Each week is focused on one milestone. So by the end of the six weeks, you are a polished gem. Well for me I hindered my growth because I was looking ahead. Why? In my mind I’ve been doing this profession for years, I’m like I can do this, I’ve been doing it. Well not so fast. I kept missing certain points in milestone one, hitting two and three, missing four, and hitting five.

a person holding black and brown board

Each week we have a session with our assigned coach to help us. She kept asking me what can she do to help me. I kept explaining to her how I’d been doing it, how I was taught, and what helped me learn. Next coaching session, I still didn’t hit it. It was getting very frustrating and I began questioning myself, my abilities, and even my coach. Until after the last coaching session.

I had to tell myself. Humble myself. It doesn’t matter what you did before. How you did it before. Or the the way you were taught. This is how it’s done here. Adapt, reset, and do it. I need to focus on this way, their way, and their process. It wasn’t anything wrong with the coach. The process. It was me and my approach, attitude, and mindset. Once I did that, went back to work, and instantly there was a shift in progression. In our next session she said I can tell there was something different. 7 SELF REFLECTION JOURNAL PROMPTS

And it was. My performance was better. Higher. The process and day went smoother. I enjoyed myself more. I wasn’t dreading going to work.

What did I have to do?

Focus on week one, milestone one. They give us more than enough time for a reason. I only had to worry about the first step not the whole staircase. Trust the process. It’s a reason why there is a process, certain steps are in place, and it doesn’t matter how you did before. The focus should be on how it’s done now, why this process works, and leaning into this process.

It will save frustration, stress, and wasted time. So often we try to do too much too soon. Well that can hurt us more than going through the process itself. We hinder our growth. Send the wrong message. Delay our victories.

The key is to have self awareness. Enjoy the rest of you day!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

I NEED TO RESET MY EXPECTATIONS

I need to reset my expectations and give you a call back.” Says my client after hearing a homeowners quote that she requested.

Here it is, she’s being productive and proactive, taking care of some much needed business and housekeeping before the holiday season and new year. A wonderful client, woman, mother, and professional calling two months in advance shopping her homeowners policy. After previously calling before and realizing it was going to take quite a bit of time, she had time today and called to say she was ready to do it.

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We had a lovely conversation for about an hour. We discussed her beautiful home, how we both juggle our multiple roles on a daily, her having 3 kids rotate in and out of the home because they are in college, and coverages for her home. Even talked about her 2 dogs that keep her company when the kids aren’t home because she’s currently single after a divorce.

Once I rounded the conversation and geared it back to the homeowners quote she requested, it was time to talk about coverages. I gave her a detailed coverage presentation and answered any questions she had. Then I delivered the quote and assumed the sale. Right. Well not so fast. 5 REMINDERS ABOUT SELF LOVE

First, she wanted to go on her app and pull up her current policy to make sure she has same or like coverage. I said sure no problem. Well, because her password didn’t work, she tried to reset it and it didn’t work, and then attempted to retrieve it from her password manager on her phone, that left us more time to chit chat.

We proceeded to have great woman mom talk and she kept apologizing for not having her password. I said, “Hey girl listen you are making my day by having a conversation with me. Take your time. This is your biggest asset and we have to make sure you’re covered accurately and you are satisfied with the coverages.” With a chuckle that gave a sigh of relief she relaxed. What happened when she relaxed, she was able to focus, retrieve, and reset her password.

Once the password was up, we were able to go over her coverages line by line. Now her current policy is 4 years old. Which quickly she realized some things had changed over the years. The value of the home, the market, and some other characteristics that impact a rate or premium. After answering all her questions or really what was her talking out the difference in the double premium, she said, “I guess I will have to think about this and reset my expectations.”

photo of paper on top of wooden surface

That statement alone “I have to reset my expectations sent chills through my body.” First her awareness to not blame me, lash out at me, or complain about how ridiculous things are had my body lifting out my chair. Also to know there is some factors she can’t control or change. Therefore, she needs to do what she needs to do mentally and emotionally to fork out more than she expected or what she was paying before. Redirecting her attention on what she can control. Her budget, what she chooses for coverages, and her expectations.

The call ended by us telling each other how much we enjoyed each other conversations. Wished one another the best and I told her to call me if she had anymore questions. As gracious as she could be, she said she will give me a call either way.

The rest of the day I couldn’t help but think about how we let our expectations sour our mood, day, or life. Are you expecting something that isn’t available? Do you have expectations of someone that they just can’t fulfill? I’ve learned having unfair expectations can ruin relationships and place unnecessary stress and anxiety both parties.

Years ago, one Sunday morning, while in church, the pastor said something that has stuck with me like icing on a cake: “Sometimes we ask someone for 10 gallons of water when they only have a 5 gallon tank. Where do you expect them to get the other 5 gallons? Sometimes you have to ask yourself are you putting unfair expectations on people.”

The next time you feel something should have went a certain way or it didn’t turn out how you expected, ask yourself, “Do I need to reset my expectations?”

Be well!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.