I came across a video the other day and it really opened my eyes to a different perspective.
A young woman was sharing her experience of becoming a mother. She talked about how, when she and her husband had their baby, they had a village to help them along the way especially when their daughter was newborn to toddler ages. Her mom and his mom rotated coming to their home, helping care for their daughter while they returned to work.
She spoke about how grateful they were and the sense of relief and peace their mothers provided.
Gratitude that she could go back to work with a peace of mind.
Gratitude that her child was safe, loved, and cared for by family.
Gratitude that neither she nor her husband had to sacrifice their careers.
Gratitude that they didn’t have to carry the financial weight of daycare.
And then she acknowledged she knew not all families had this privilege. For whatever reason it may be. She acknowledged that not everyone has that “village” for support.
Then she posted a follow-up video. Not because she wanted to—but because of the comments she received. Comments that were harsh. Dismissive. Even cruel. BEING A MOM INSPIRES ME
People said things like:
- “You’re not a real mother.”
- “You don’t know what sacrifice is.”
- “You didn’t struggle, so you don’t understand motherhood.”
In her response she explained how so many of us from all different walks of life may have had this idea that motherhood or becoming a mom was a sacrifice not a reward. Yes, it’s the best gift in the world but what society and culture may have presented was a doom and gloom experience. An experience one may have to go through to be considered a “mother.” And as I listened, I couldn’t help but pause. Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught this idea:
That motherhood is supposed to hurt. That becoming a mother means:
- You lose yourself
- You give up your dreams
- You struggle constantly
- You carry everything alone
That if it’s not hard… if it’s not heavy… if you’re not overwhelmed…
Then maybe you’re not doing it right. And that belief runs deep.
Across cultures.
Across generations.
Across conversations we didn’t even realize shaped us.
What if motherhood was never meant to be done alone? What if support isn’t a shortcut—but the design?
What if having help doesn’t make you less of a mother…
but actually allows you to be a more present one?
Because let’s be honest:
Being supported doesn’t erase your love.
It doesn’t remove your responsibility.
It doesn’t make your motherhood less real.
It simply means, You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.
A village looks different for everyone.
For some, it’s grandparents.
For others, it’s friends.
For some, it’s community.
And for many… it’s something they wish they had.
And that’s real too. But instead of questioning someone’s motherhood because they have support…
What if we started asking:
Why don’t more mothers have what they need?
Why has struggle become the standard?
Why do we equate suffering with strength?
Why do we normalize burnout as part of the role?
That woman in the video didn’t say her way was the only way.
She simply shared her reality—and expressed gratitude for it.
And somehow, that triggered something in people.
But maybe it’s because her story challenged a belief many of us have carried:
That motherhood must cost you everything.
What if we stopped glorifying struggle?
What if we allowed motherhood to include:
What if we believed we could raise our children and still be whole?
If you’re a mother, or desire to be one, ask yourself:
- What have I been taught motherhood should feel like?
- Do I believe I have to struggle to be “good enough”?
- What would support look like for me?
- Where can I allow help instead of resisting it?
Maybe motherhood isn’t supposed to be painful. Maybe it’s supposed to be supported. Maybe it’s supposed to be shared. And maybe…
We’re allowed to want more than just survival.
RosalynLynn
Be you so you can be free.
