GRATITUDE REALLY DOES WORK

After listening to many motivational videos, the one thing that was repeated consistently was exercising gratitude. No matter who was speaking or what they were speaking on, gratitude really does work and get you out of a funk instantly. This is something I had to work at and exercise in my daily life.

photograph of a person s hand holding a gift box

We get many examples of this in our daily life. There was a point of 2 months span, we had to get both our vehicles fixed. One vehicle we had to get fixed twice in one month. And the other vehicle once. Was it frustrating. ABSOLUTELY!!!! Did we have other plans we wanted to do. YUP. But I had to quickly remind my husband, let’s be grateful and thank God we had the ability and finances to get them fixed. Neither one of us had to miss work and we are still alive and breathing. What was supposed to happen, happened. How we respond is up to us. MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF RIGHT NOW

But this thought of gratitude really working came to me when a woman, 92 years young, came to my office to have a thank you card published in the monthly newspaper. She had been in the hospital the previous week and she wanted to thank her family and friends for their well wishes, cards, visits, and prepped meals. However, repeatedly she kept saying how grateful she was to be alive. She really thought her time was up. She said being able to wake up in her home in her bed was the best gift God gave her to do again. All she wanted to do was give her thanks while she’s still here. https://amzn.to/41FE15S Lastly, the best part she said , “you know He really didn’t have to save me”.

I froze at my desk. Ros what do you have to complain about? I responded to myself quickly, nothing at all. I have a home with air conditioning. There are people sleeping on the streets in this hot summer heat. I have food to eat. Many families are going to shelters and Salvation Army’s to get meals. I have a job. My husband has a job. We have vehicles to get to work. Our health is good. Our kids smiled today. I had a drink of clean water. Most importantly I have the ability to pass this on.

So if you’re unhappy about your current situation or going through anything, look around, write down 10 things that you are grateful for. Remember every situation is temporary. Learn what you need. That’s how we grow. We are forced out of our comfort zones when we’re stubborn. Each day practice gratitude. In order to increase and reach our full capacity we must be grateful now so we can appreciate more later. Be well!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HEALING THROUGH PAIN

Yes, her son is laying in an hospital bed awaiting another surgery as he battles through cancer. She’s put him on the prayer list, fast, and took him communion. But our plans aren’t God’s plans. As he takes his rest and falls asleep, she decided to go to the Dollar tree buy applesauce, green beans, pop tarts, noodles, and corn to deliver to the church for their monthly Salvation Army donation.

Her healing through her pain comes as she watches her third son battle cancer. She lost her husband to cancer. She’s not as stable herself as she go through her golden years. But she said, “I just take my time you know, I’ll get there.” WOW!!!! 5 REASONS VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH

GO FIND YOU SOME STRENGTH!!!!!! She said I can’t do anything while he sleeps. I might as well go make sure some kids have something to eat and don’t go hungry. I can’t let myself go. Who’s going to be there when the doctor needs to speak with next of kin. I can’t control the cancer, I’m not a doctor, and God still gave me strength to get up.

Sure, getting up, having breakfast, going to the store, talking to other shoppers, getting some sunlight, and getting some exercise is a mental refresh. Continuing to choose to live provides endless amount of strength. Healing through pain is the only way to get through.

If you are going through anything painful, know that it is temporary. You will get to the light. Find a source of strength to grow through your healing. There is a purpose and reason. It’s not just a cliche, but our loved ones doesn’t expect us to stop living because they are ill. They truly would want you to continue living. Live for you. Live for them.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL HEALTH REMINDER: YOUR PROBLEM IS YOURS

I know I know, it seems very harsh to tell someone your problem is yours. Well when I heard it, I felt and thought the same thing. She said no one cares that your feelings are hurt. Why are you constantly complaining about something that happened last week, last month, last year, or when you were thirteen. Within two days I heard this from two different people on two different media. It had me pondering.

They are right!!!!!

We can’t erase or undo everything that has been said or done to us. In turn, we make it about what they said, what they did, how they made you feel, and nothing is about us. What someone else say or do has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with how they feel about themselves.

In our anger, hurt, and sadness we freeze and wait for that person to make everything right. When, if they thought they did something wrong they would have done it. If you get an apology the problem is still yours. On the other hand, if you don’t the problem is still yours. What is the apology going to do for you? Because emotions are raw, will you be in a place to receive the apology, accept it, and forgive? Everything was made about them and not you. 10 FUN JOURNAL PROMPTS TO GET YOUR MIND OFF YOUR PROBLEMS

We can pour our hearts out and the problem is still ours. Either one one of two things. They will understand and empathize. Or completely gaslight and blame you for taking it the way you did. In result, you’re left with fixing the problem.

No matter what, your problem is yours. You are the only one who can make yourself whole, process, and get through. A large mistake is waiting or expecting others to solve our problems. We’ll be waiting forever. I had this breakthrough when I had to ask myself what kind of relationship was I going to participate in with my mother. I’m not going to get the mother I wanted when I was little. No matter how much I’ve expressed to her my feelings nothing has changed. So what am I to do. I had to reconcile all that and accept the mother she chooses to be and engage on my terms.

If you’re battling some problems. It’s yours. Take your power back and fix it for yourself.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HE WASN’T MAD AT ME

After 30 minutes of crying my eyes out and going for a walk, I realized he wasn’t mad at me. One day my brother called me and immediately from hello, I knew he was heated. Now, I’m still being my normal self because in my mind I know it’s not towards me or about me. “Did you know auntie moved to Vegas?” I answered, yes. Well what do I get for being honest.

He yelled, cursed, and went on a tangent about how he’s always the last to know anything. The family only calls him when they want or need something. I’m stunned and confused because it had been more than a week or so that she moved. She told me she was going to call everyone with her new address and information. So I’m thinking to myself, she hasn’t gotten around to it. My aunt had this grand plan to tell everyone because she was hosting Thanksgiving this year.

Well after about 2 attempts of me trying to get a word in, he said “I see how y’all are, if that’s how you want to be, fine!!” He hung up on me. I looked at my husband and we both were confused. Immediately I burst into tears, ran upstairs, put on my walking clothes, grabbed my earbuds and went out for a walk. My husband was trying to catch me but I just had to go. My brother and I have always been close, never had arguments or disagreements, always one another confidant, and I just couldn’t believe he spoke to me the way he did. GROWTH TIP: YOU CAN LEARN FROM ANYONE

Now the old me kicked in for a minute and instantly said I’m not calling him, I’m not answering his calls, and he has done it for himself. But then after 30 minutes it clicked, he wasn’t mad at me. Thank God for journaling, prayer, meditation, and inner healing. Here’s what I figured out:

He was mad at my aunt but couldn’t express that due to ego, hurt, and lack of understanding. Now my aunt and him were like two peas in a pot. They had the best relationship. He was upset because he felt like they had an unbreakable bond and he wasn’t the first person she told. Every time I tried to encourage him to think about it in another perspective, he shot me down.
Which leads me to, when someone has something already made up in their mind there is no way to get them to think about things differently. Especially if they haven’t done internal work to understand their triggers, misunderstandings, and communication.
This is exactly what they mean when they say, don’t take things personally. It had nothing to do with me. He was upset with her and I was the one who answered the phone. My brother is a self admitted people pleaser, he doesn’t like when people think negative of him, and my aunt is the one who was able to get to him. So he felt betrayal probably.
For me, it’s a reminder that you have to remain emotionally sound to ensure you don’t damage yourself, others, and relationships. If I would have reacted and matched his emotions, tone, and demeanor it would have took a turn that would have been difficult to come back from. In the very beginning of the call I was able to recognize he just wanted to get out what he made up in his head and a response wasn’t wanted, needed, or required.
Don’t let others anger, feelings, and misunderstandings change you or how you feel. Be who you are and when there is an opportunity for encouragement and inspiration then give it. It will be received and comprehended when it’s settled.

I had to look back at this exchange and say I’m proud of myself. This allowed me to answer the phone when he called me again, have a conversation, and continue to be brother and sister. The cherry on top was, I told my husband I don’t want or need an apology. I’m ok. I just want him to get to a point where he doesn’t have to people please and prove himself. What he doesn’t realize is, it was more of a reminder for me to continue to do the work.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY “YOU NEVER KNOW”

It’s almost become a cliche when you hear “ you never know what people are going through “. We hear it so often, but how often do we think about it, exercise it, and give others grace. Although it’s probably an over used point, it still rings true. People only tell us what they want us to know. We only see what people want us to see especially on social media. Just think about your favorite celebrity, athlete, or influencer that have such a great presence but suffers from depression.

white printer paper with be kind text on plants

You never know what people are going through so be kind. That rung true and reminded me on my morning commute to work.

As I’m driving, I had to do a double take in my rear view mirror. A woman who also appears to be driving to work. She had on a nice ivory blouse. Beautiful jewelry and her long thick hair was bouncy with big curls. Yes, I saw all of this because I have great attention to detail and it was a beautiful sunny morning. Anyway, on my double take, I notice she’s wiping her eyes. Hmmmm. This wasn’t a typical I have allergies wipe or anything.

So I doubled back. This woman was sobbing. When I say sobbing, she’s doing the ugly cry. The light turns red. And I’m siting there contemplating getting her attention for her to pull over. Number one, we don’t want an accident. And number two, baby you need to let that cry out. But she took advantage of this red light because she sobbed, wiped her face, and fixed her banes. That’s my girl!!! So I opted not to get her attention. My heart just ached for her. Light turns green, she wipes her eyes, and hit a left turn while I keep straight.

I get to work and immediately thought you really never know what people are going through. My mind began thinking about her mental and emotional wellness throughout the day. She’s full of emotions, they’re all over the place and when she hits work, immediately shut them off. Hence her constantly fixing her banes and making sure she didn’t mess up all her makeup. Then pretending like everything is ok, try to be productive, and professional.

You know you’ll always have the coworker’s to ask are you ok. If you say yes, they may pressure because they can clearly see your face is flushed, swollen, and your demeanor isn’t the norm they are used to. On the other hand, you may have a coworker that think you’re having an attitude, not being polite, or great to work around that day. When all you’re trying to do is make it through the day without crying and do your job.

Then, when she gets off, whatever had her sobbing emerges to the front again and now she’s an emotional wreck all over again. Can you imagine the emotional roller coaster and the ride she’s taking? So when people say you never know what others are going through, BE KIND. Here’s a reminder. Even if she wasn’t going to work. The fact is we all have emotional roller coaster rides, act like nothing is going on, and then getting back on the ride.

Remember some handle the ride well and others take a while to calm down. You never know. Be well!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HARVEST CONFIDENCE THIS FALL

By definition harvest means the process or period of gathering crops. Through our daily habits, self care activities, and wellness journey we harvest confidence. Planting the proper seeds for our mental, emotional, and physical health will give us the strong confidence needed to sustain this thing called life. Harvesting and planting the proper seeds are important because confidence isn’t a one and done. Confidence is a muscle we must water and exercise daily.

Plant seeds of boundaries within you. I don’ t mean cutting people off. If that’s necessary then do so. But I’ve learned to tell people (meaning family members) don’t call me talking about another family member. When they text how is so and so doing, I don’t even respond to that text. Now, when they text me and ask me how the kids are doing I’ll respond. If someone needs a ride and I have plans, I’ll let them know I have plans I can take you when I’m done. It’s more about not stretching yourself thin to the point you’re burned out.

Another thing I do, throughout the day, take a break. Plant seeds of permission to yourself to take a break. Yes, a day off is good. Vacations are good. Lazy days are good. However, small breaks daily can become more beneficial and effective. During the day at work, if I notice I’ve been going since I sat down at the computer, I’ll stop, and give myself a mental break. Get up. Step outside. Go to the bathroom. Get a snack or something to drink. Most importantly I’ll read a good passage. My go to for this is Hallmarks mahogany.com. The community writing group is amazing.

Plant seeds of protection. If I don’t want to do something or go somewhere I’ll say no. I no longer do so just to keep the peace. So often I’d say yes because I didn’t want them to think I was an ungrateful person or rejecting them by rejecting their invitation.

A great seed to plant is a cutoff seed. Sometimes I can go all day and not realize I haven’t sat down or watched a program on TV. After several loads of laundry, cooking, and taking care of my family, I’ll tell them I’m done for the day. I’m going to do something for me. This prevents me feeling overwhelmed and burned out. 15 DAILY AFFIRMATIONS TO BOOST CONFIDENCE

Lastly, seeds of investing in self. My night time cap is very important to my mental health. It allows me to put a period on the day and have a clear mental space in the morning. Same with my morning routine. Getting ready, making sure I feel my best to present gives me confidence to walk in any room and offer my authentic self.

Harvesting and plating seeds to build confidence takes patience. Start within. What do you mentally and emotionally to feel confident. Most of the time once that happens it’ll spill to the outer.

This fall plant you some seeds of confidence. The confidence you build will give you the motivation and inspiration to go after what you’re afraid to do right now.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how my story is going to end.”- Christine Mason Miller

You can change your life today. If you are unhappy in any aspect you can make a change today. Regardless of what you’re unhappy about, you are the only one you can turn the page in your life. Make a bold statement and tell yourself you’re going to change. You see, once you speak it, it will happen. It’s not a cliche, this last year I let go of the fear of saying exactly what I wanted or how I want to feel. Once I made my thoughts clear and put it out into the unviverse it was a release. I felt empowered to then make the moves to do what I wanted. I literally changed career moves in 2 months. Once I stop being afraid and looking for the ok, making excuses, and twisting myself into a pretzel. The moment I told my husband I am not happy I don’t want to do this. The flood gates opened. I went and submitted my resume endlessly. Within a week I had 4 interviews. I had so many offers that I had to turn them down. All this to say no matter what it is you can change your life today. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE

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You don’t need a gym membership, new clothes, new shoes, or equipment to lose weight. If you’re stretching it thin on finances you don’t need to throw out your food. Cut your portions in half. Drink more water. Eliminate sugar. Start walking daily. You’ll begin to see your body transformation.

Need extra income. Start selling clothes and items you don’t use. Cancel subscription services. If someone wants to borrow your car, charge them. Babysit. Uber. Instacart. It’s out there. Working downtown, I met a young man who does door dash. He says he started out as wanting to make a little extra, now it’s his full time job. He said he doesn’t turn down any orders and he makes upwards of 4k a month.

Feeling a little blue in your home. Declutter. Rearrange the furniture. Get a new scent. Reorganize. Let some fresh air in. Open those windows, blinds, and curtains for natural sun light. Challenge yourself to try new places, experiences, foods, and more.

No matter what’s going on outside, you can change you. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

MENTAL NOTE OF THE DAY

”Self care is how you take your power back.”-Lalah Delia

woman wearing white sleeveless lace shirt

When I took my break, yes I needed a break. I participated in every self care activity that promoted good mental and emotional wellness for me. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO UNPLUG However you choose to self care, is your business. Depending on what you need, your self care will change. Not only do I practice self care for myself, it’s for my family and friends. It’s about me being the best for me while also giving them the best and most I have to offer without compromising myself. Self care will always be a journey. There isn’t a destination to happiness therefore, your self care will evolve as you grow through seasons of life. For me I keep my self care simple. Don’t make it complicated. Listen to what your body tells you. Last weekend we had so much on our schedule that we had a few moments to breathe. I found myself walking around getting a little anxious. I knew I wanted to do something until it was time for us to go again . However , I didn’t want to start something and then we had to leave again. My husband said, “what are you about to do?” I said, “I’m going to go outside for a walk to clear my head and regroup”. On some days cleaning will help, doing my hair or nails will help, reading, watching something funny, calling and talking to someone on the phone, or taking a nap. Whatever you need to do to remain calm and clear, do it. You’ll be available emotionally to handle your day. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!