”An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others have nothing to do with them. Each day you get to decide which one you’ll be.”- Jarrid Wilson

Yes, you’ve been hurt, treated unfairly, had an unfair chance at life in some circumstances, and may be broken. However, that isn’t who you are, have to stay to be, and have to own. While in the state of hurt, every trigger you have will be pulled. Why? Because you haven’t resolved or healed the pain and trauma from before. Until you learn what happened isn’t your fault and others that inflict pain, is projecting their own hurt, then you’re going to forever take it personally. No matter what is said or happen, you’re going to think someone is out to hurt you.

woman crying

The best thing to do is figure out where your hurt and pain comes from. For me it started out the blue one day asking myself a simple question: Why do I get so upset when someone assume or insinuate I’m mean, anti social, or harsh? That was a huge trigger for me. For starters I had to think back where that label came from and why it triggered me so much. Once I was able to understand the origin, who started it, and how it stuck, I was able to reconcile and let it go.

Ask yourself questions like what makes me upset, why certain people or situations garner a reaction, and how do you feel when you experience said emotions. Paying attention to how we feel when we are experiencing certain emotions will help our healing. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING

Once you learn your triggers, how not to respond, and redirect emotions you’ll be able to understand others better. You’ll recognize that they are hurt and having an episode themselves. Sometimes the only way someone can release their pain is to project on to others.

I can truly say from experience, me getting to know the why behind where my emotions come from has allowed me to be more patient with others and help them recognize their own unhealed pain. The best thing to do is to heal yourself to help others begin their own healing. Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


This week we are going to focus on some journal prompts for inner peace healing. These 7 healing journal prompts helped me identify where I need healing and growth. I also learned how certain relationships and past events show up presently.

woman in gray crew neck t shirt doing yoga

Using these healing journal prompts allows you to take a deeper look into what your triggers are. Also where the triggers come from. Through journaling for healing we’re able to recognize why we gravitate towards certain people. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING

Here are 7 healing journal prompts for inner peace:

  1. Describe a time when you felt most comfortable or yourself. (when writing about this time describe where you were, who was around, what were you wearing, what the weather was like, what was said in the convesation, this would help you identify or clarify who and what makes you happy)
  2. The first thing I think about in the morning is…(the moment you open your eyes what is the first thing that occupies your mind/thoughts, this prompt gives you an insight on what is causing your stress or anxiety)
  3. The one thing I’m afraid for people to know is…(we all have that one thing that we don’t want people to know, it could be an insecurity, past trauma, or thought, be as specific as possible, this will tell you what you need to conquer to free yourself)
  4. Do I feel stressed or anxious right now? Why or why not? (sometimes we may not want to say exactly what has us jumpy or we want to use an excuse, be honest and specific why or why not you’re feeling anxious or stressed, it could be nothing, something big something small)
  5. My most difficult relationship is…(once I realized what my most difficult relationship was, I was able to get clear on why I did certain things, closed myself off to certain people, and what triggered me. It doesn’t have to be romantic, it could a parent, sibling, coworker, cousin, aunt, uncle, friend, neighbor.)
  6. I am proud of myself for…(when was the last time you told yourself you were proud of you, this is one affirmation I’ve come to love, it could be simple as ”I’m proud of myself for trying a new recipe”, no matter how big or small be proud of yourself)
  7. What is my favorite TV show and why? (what we watch and consume consistently tell us a lot about our personalities and who we are, I love anything on ID Discovery, I’m more interested in the ”why” people choose the extremes that they do)

Try these 7 prompts for healing this week. The goal is to get a point of view from different backgrounds of life. Either way they’ll all come together to let us know how we’re doing, where we need to work, and what we are good at. You deserve healing and happiness.

Happy Writing!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


In order to grow, heal, and become the person we want, we must endure some emotional and mental pain first. Healing comes through pain. We must first go to the beginning and to the those dark places that we want to forget about. The first step in healing, is to be willing to go through the pain.

Let’s think about this: We are willing to birth children. Why? Because we know those contractions are temporary. The pain of childbirth is temporary. In our minds, we know we are going to heal in weeks or months to come. All while enjoying the fruits of our labor, our new baby. In that same light, we are only revisiting the trauma temporarily. We are only there to see why it happened and how we can move forward. Once we get the understanding of the who, what, why, and how it’s time to leave, heal, and grow.

Once we grow through the pain, the likely hood of going back is slim to none. By this time we’ve learned communication, boundaries, and self worth. In the event, that we do slip up, because we are human, it won’t be as bad as the first time. Our experience, previous healing and pain, allows us to recognize signs to prevent any situations getting as worse as the first. MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL: JUST LET IT GO

If we think about this in every day life, we are willing to endure temporary pain because we know it’s going to produce the outcome we want. On a daily we get laser hair removal treatments, waxing, tattoos, and piercings. Why? Because it’s going to produce an outcome we want and are willing to endure the pain for. Let’s go a step further when we get surgeries, of all kind. Either to lose weight, enhance features, or to correct an insecurity. Going into the surgery you have prepped, planned, and prepared for the healing process.

Well guess what, we know what the outcome is going to be if we are willing to endure the pain of emotional and mentally healing. Having anxiety, depression, or panic attacks are a result of some insecurities or unhealed traumas. The end result is becoming a happier, self confident, developed, and balanced individual. The ability to begin living the life you desire without regrets or fear is priceless. It would be better than any pain paid for.

If you are holding back or attempting to go around the pain instead of through the pain, then I encourage you to tackle it head on. It’s only temporary. Furthermore, it won’t be as bad as you think. The enlightenment you’re going to receive about yourself, others, family, and friends will be so eye opening. Trust yourself and heal through the pain.


Be you so you can be free.


As I’ve grown, there have been many life lessons and takeaways that have stuck with me. The one that keeps coming up as of late, is ”you can learn from anyone.” I think we put ourselves in box when we only focus on those that compliment us.

I had this light bulb years ago when some of my best business advice and life advice came from bosses that may not have had the best regards from their employees. I’ll never forget one time, I was in a meeting and my general manager informed me of a decision he made. In the next sentence he said “it’s not what everyone wants, but I can’t do what everyone wants me to do. I was hired to do a job and that’s what I’m going to do. They have a choice to live with it or not.”

At the onset, you kind of clutch your pearls. But as I sat at my desk, I realized he’s right. EMOTIONAL HEALING: OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING You can’t make decisions based off your emotions or others emotions for that matter. Just because someone wants you to make a certain decision, doesn’t mean you have to. Because that’s the best decision for them doesn’t mean that’s the best for you. Your emotions will lead you astray. One day you’re happy, and the next you’re sad.

That is all to say, we can literally learn a lesson from anyone. Some of your best life lessons will come from those who have wronged you, misunderstood you, or neglected you. In a sense, we should give a little more attention to those life lessons. They will teach us what our triggers are, what we’re lacking emotionally, and what we need to work on within ourselves.

Get yourself out of the rut by asking yourself what can I learn from what this person said to me. If someone has wronged you, ask yourself why are you offended, what made them feel comfortable saying what they said, and how did my response escalate or deescalate the situation. What does your reaction to certain instances say about yourself. One great way to see where we need work, is to look at how we respond to offenses. It says more about us, than the person who is giving the offense. On the other hand, watching how someone else responds lets you know where they are mentally and emotionally.

These are all life lessons that we can learn from others. Just because you don’t agree with someone, don’t be so quick to throw them away. Take a lesson, grow, and then move on.

The key is to watch, listen, and learn for motivation. Not to compare yourself to another person, condemn them, or demean anyone.


Be you so you can be free.


lemon photo on person s thigh

No matter how many times you fall, you will get back up. Don’t ever get discouraged because you have a little setback. SETBACKS, REJECTIONS, AND STUMBLING BLOCKS ARE NECESSARY FOR GROWTH That is how we learn, grow, and heal. On your journey have no regrets about the path you have been taken down. Your path and journey was created specifically for you. As you grow through life don’t listen to the negative chatter about how many times you’ve had to pick yourself up.

The beauty is you’ve had the strength, courage, and perseverance to keep getting up. That means no matter what is thrown at you, you have the WILL POWER in you to live and get back up. There isn’t anything that you aren’t equipped to handle.

No matter where you are or what is going on in your life, you can and will get back up!!!!!!!

Have a great day, week, month, and holiday!!!!!!!!!


Be you so you can be free.


Just like everyone else, I have my moments. I juggle many responsibilities and roles so staying motivated and inspired is a daily priority for me. Not to mention, my main purpose of starting a blog is to let everyone else know they have everything they need to live their true self.REMEMBERING WHY I BLOG, Motivation

As a quick background, I went through a depression because I was living the life everyone else thought I should be living. I wanted to make everyone happy and proud but I wasn’t receiving the love and support needed to be “me”. After about a 3 year period of distancing myself, I began seeking encouragement and motivation constantly. What I quickly realized was, I had to keep my gas tank full.

My positive thoughts, energy, mood, vibe, goals, self care, and anything else was dependent on my gas tank. I knew I had to stay prayed up, read up, and full of gratitude to fight off any negative response of my choice to live for me. Always keeping my gas tank full, allows me to have an abundance to pull from whenever I need reinforcement, reassurance, and a reset.

For starters, I only seek positive and motivational content. So starting my day off with prayer before I get out of bed is essential. Before I even begin my day, telling God thank you and putting out in the universe how great the day is going to be sets the tone. Even on days I don’t feel good or have a busy schedule I make it a point to be grateful.

From there, as I get myself together, I put on something inspirational. Most of the time I go for a YouTube video. Some of my favorites are Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Eric Thomas, and Sarah Jakes Roberts. I ensure to fill my spirit with positivity, gratitude, and happiness. The goal is to have my gas tank filled so no matter what I may encounter through the day, it won’t stick to me. Now if I don’t watch a video, then I’ll opt for a gospel radio station.

Side Note: Music period always puts me in a good mood. At work, I will have music playing low at my desk. That is to drown out the negative talk from my coworkers, keep me in a good mood, and have my focus on something positive.

Next, while I’m riding in the car I’ll listen to more inspirational messages from YouTube or a podcast. Of, course music is always an option of mine as well. Throughout the day, I scroll Pinterest for millions of motivational quotes and passages. No matter what mood you are feeling you can read a quote or passage that will pick you back up.

Now if I’m in a mood, I quickly remind myself that it’s temporary. I ask myself “Ros why are you really hurt, or why did that comment bother you so much?” I’ve really got to a point where I’m honest with my feelings no matter how uncomfortable it is. I try to understand what made someone react, respond, or say whatever they did. OPEN YOUR MIND FOR UNDERSTANDING Knowing another’s story and pain allows me to have sympathy and empathy. But be clear, that doesn’t mean I give them the grace to do it again.

Protect Your Peace

I’ve really worked hard to get to know me. What I like, my expectations, my boundaries, my cutoffs, and I don’t make excuses or apologize for them. I also make it clear so there aren’t any misunderstandings or confusion. One of the biggest obstacles that help me is saying “NO”. I will no longer put myself in uncomfortable situations to make others happy or to keep the peace.

In the evening, I once again express gratitude. I made it through the day. Most often we have encounters throughout the day and we get stuck. If something happens to us at 11:20a.m. we get stuck there and the rest of our day is ruined. Nothing lasts forever and its not the end of the world if things don’t go how you planned.

Lastly, a little while ago, I made a commitment to remove complaining from my thoughts and brain. Only if we knew the negative ramifications of constantly complaining. Even if its something small, complaining is a cancer that grows and spreads to infect every other aspect of our life.

As long as I’m intentional with my choices through the day, I share the inspiration and motivation, and I make someone else feel good then I’ve done my job. But how to stay motivated and inspired, you have to make it a part of your daily being, habits, and lifestyle. Seek the good and it will come to you.

So the next time someone says something that hurt your feelings, someone cut you off, don’t respond emotionally look for something to remind you of your purpose. Those are distractions to get you off tract from your journey. How I stay motivated and inspired will be different from others and may change as I grow.


Be you so you can be free.


Sometimes we outgrow relationships and that’s ok. People come into our lives for a reason. No matter how well they develop or dissolve we outgrow the relationship. It’s perfectly normal and ok to outgrow some relationships.

If we outgrow a relationship that doesn’t mean its a bad thing. Two people have grown into two separate paths that doesn’t aline. The career path we choose takes us into different directions. Furthermore, any distance apart can help the relationship outgrow. The personal life we lead, takes us into different directions. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE

Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. We would love to have that one friend since childhood. Or that college roommate that kept us company. Hey Beal. Luv U!!!!! I’m so blessed and grateful to still have my college roommate in my life. But anyway, just because we outgrow a relationship doesn’t mean you’re not going to ever talk to them again. It just means the things you used to have in common isn’t shared.

We don’t just outgrow relationships, we may outgrow the job we’ve been at for years. I’ve heard people say they outgrew their hairstyle. Also one may outgrow the neighborhood their in and want to move. We outgrow the music we listen to, the television shows we watch, and personal style preferences. It’s ok.

I know for me, something as simple as what I like to eat has drastically changed. My tolerance level for certain foods isn’t as high. My choice in music has shifted. I always say if it hurts my ears I can’t listen to it. How I like to entertain myself most people would probably think its boring. I enjoy being different, taking a risk, and challenging myself.

We aren’t supposed to stay the same day after day. Year after after. As we grow our taste changes. What we want and like shifts and adjusts. Also our point of view transform as we grow. So of course we would outgrow some relationships. I know its hard, but growth of any kind is good.

However, if someone isn’t happy, excited, or encourage you to keep going then you know the time has expired on that relationship. I know its scary but you’re going to develop some amazing new relationships along the way.


Be you so you can be free.


I totally loved being a stay at home mom and low key want to go back to being a stay at home mom. However, there are some mistakes I made being a stay at home mom. Here are some of my mistakes and tips for you, so you won’t make the same one’s I did.

First off, I didn’t think of it as a job. I felt like I wasn’t bringing in actual income, so I wasn’t contributing. Because I wasn’t “working” outside the home I felt I couldn’t ask for help. Nor could I even think about saying I was tired. That couldn’t been further from the truth. Let me tell you, running and maintaining a home is work. It’s constant managing and balancing everything. All the cooking, cleaning, and laundry you do is work and contributing to the home.

Giving your spouse the peace of mind to not worry about anything is a huge contribution. Whatever you do to make the home run smoothly, save money, and provide comfort is constant support. So yes, therefore it is a full time job and then some. There isn’t a dollar amount you can place on that.

The second mistake I made as a stay at home mom was not practicing self care. Once again because I didn’t work outside the home and had small babies at home, I had to be in sweats all day. So I thought. In my head, I wasn’t going anywhere on a daily, so why get up and do anything to myself. I really didn’t focus on myself or do much to boost my energy and self esteem. In my mind, I was a stay at home mom and that’s the only thing I was allowed to focus on.

The thought of me not bringing in any income, made me believe I didn’t deserve anything. That went across the board. Clothes, shoes, makeup, vacations, and any thing else I thought would make me happy.

Trust me your kids and partner want you to practice self care. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. You deserve to look good, feel good, and have whatever it is you want. You will feel better about yourself and approach the days with more excitement and enthusiasm.

The last mistake I made was not having a hobby outside of the family. I had nothing to focus on to keep my mental intact. Having that breather or moment to myself I didn’t give myself permission for. It is painfully important as a stay at home mom to have your own hobby Self Care: Hobbies and Activities. Something that is completely you. The one thing that gets your mind off of everything and refuels you.

If I could go back, I would definitely make time for myself, create a space for me to do something that makes me happy, and give myself a break. It truly is a honor and gift if you have the luxury to be a stay at home mom. Be thankful and grateful that you have that gift.

Obviously there are many factors that contributed to me having the feelings I did. For starters, I had no support from my family. However, my husband was amazing at encouraging and motivating me. He tried to do everything to make me feel good and a contributing partner. I was looked at as being lazy, messing up my kids because I didn’t put them in day care, and wasting my degree that I received. Because I was young, I began to believe certain things and internalized them. In my mind, I had a completely different point of view. However my efforts, to share and explain fell on deaf ears.

Being a stay at home mom is hard work and time is going to fly by. Take care of yourself first and the rest will fall into place. If you are a stay at home mom, know you are doing a great job. Don’t let lack of support or outsiders tell you any different. Seek support, encouragement, and motivation outside if you have to.


Be you so you can be free.


I had a light bulb moment when I was journaling this morning. That is, to learn your source of anger. As I was journaling about something that was bothering me, I wanted to figure out why. And as I kept writing, the “why” came to me.

It is very important that we learn the source of our anger. Why did something or someone cause our blood pressure to raise? Knowing why you were triggered by it, will give you everything needed to move forward. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to feel how you feel. But what it will do, is give you some understanding about the situation or person.

Learning your source of anger gives you insight on what you need to heal. It lets you know the areas of your life where you are stuck. Sometimes we think we are ok, and healed from childhood or other situations, but they can arise further in life. No matter what your background is or what you are going through you can heal and recover. Learn why you are hurt, upset, angry, and sad.

Knowing where the source of anger comes from gives you freedom from going back there. You know most times we get so upset because we find ourselves in the same situation again and again. Well, when we know better we can make better decisions.

In your quest to learn your source of anger, don’t hold back. In the process you have to be completely honest of what’s hurting you and why you feel hurt. The good news is only you know. So even if you are shame or embarrassed, it’s ok. The end result of you going through the healing process is just that rewarding. Remember how you feel, is perfectly valid. There isn’t a right or wrong way on feelings.

The easiest way I can tell you to begin to figure it out, is by journaling. Journaling For Mental Health, TRY ITThat is the one place you can be completely open, honest, and vulnerable. You can bounce around. It doesn’t has to make sense. And you can get out what you need. In all honesty, I went through this process in several different entries. Because I was trying to get over something, every time I went to write, it would be as if I picked right up in the middle of a conversation .

Another way of figuring out your source of anger, is by talking it out. You can choose someone you trust to talk it out. Or my fave, talk to yourself. Go for a walk with nature and God and just talk it out. You can do so in your head or aloud to yourself. The goal here is to sort it out, so you can get some answers.

As you heal, it will get easier for you to identify those triggers, and they won’t set you off as quickly. Sometimes it won’t set you off at all. It’s easy to point the fingers and blame others for “making us upset”, but there is some personal responsibility we must take.

No one likes to be triggered or upset. So learn the source of whatever emotion you are grappling with to begin your healing process.


Be you so you can be free.