Self Care Mental Health Tips

There are many factors that play into the downfall of our mental and emotional health. There are some self care mental health tips that could help you along the way. The following is 4 practices we do that gives away our power and strength. With consistency and habit we can stop doing to help our mental health.

Stop Explaining Yourself

This is my biggest pet peeve when I see adult women specifically explain themselves. Crushing themselves trying to explain what they doing, where they going, why they chose to go left instead of right, and anything else. It’s even worse when they begin explaining without anyone even asking. Which that’s the first sign of someone not being confident in who they are. To be honest even if someone asked you, you still don’t owe anyone an explanation. If how you move about your life needs to be explained then they’re not on your level. The decisions you make for you and your family is no one else’s business as long as it doesn’t effect them.

Wasting Your Time Staying Angry

They were never lying when they said it takes a lot of energy to get angry, and most importantly stay angry. It takes so much emotional energy to stay angry. Trying to stay angry we use all our gas plus others around us. Let’s just say when a wife gets mad at her husband the entire mood in the house shifts until she starts talking to him again. Even the kids start walking around on egg shells. You waste time that could be spent doing something productive. Not to mention, when you stay that angry for some time you begin to lose sleep. At this point every thing including your physical body and beautiful face begin to suffer. It just isn’t worth it. Remember they hurt you once, don’t let them keep hurting you by staying angry. That would be giving away too much power.

Living Your Life for Others

When we allow others to influence our decisions we have given them the keys to drive our life. Letting someone tell you “you’re not ready”, “I don’t think that’s a good idea”, or “don’t you think you should wait a while“ are people that you need to keep at arms length. Those are all manipulative, controlling, and selfish ways people get you to do what they want you to do. Be confident in your journey to know what’s best for you and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Making decisions to please others leaves you as the only one suffering. No matter what you try to do nothing is going to make you happy until you live for you. Daily Self Care Habits To Boost Your Mental Health

Staying in a One Sided Relationship

Having hopes and expectation for someone will get us every time. Also knowing the potential a person could have is the most common reason we constantly give so many chances to those who don’t deserve it. It’s true, when people show you who they are believe them. If the relationship makes you question who you are, what you do, or you always seem to be in a confused state then its time to leave. Our relationships should inspire us to be better people. We should feel so much love and support that we have to constantly give it away to others. With no respect, trust, or communication you’re wasting your time. This goes for our romantic relationship as well as our friendships.

These are simple self care mental health practices that will save us heartache in our daily lives. The amount time spent worrying if someone understands us, feel we care, or sparing their feelings only wastes our time and drain our mental and emotional tank on empty.

They aren’t worth it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

FEAR Is Holding You Back

F-Finish what you started. Turn that thought into ideas to create a plan. Develop those ideas into a project. Design that project into a business. Whatever “it” is that you started or thought about starting FINISH it. It could be school, moving, weight loss goal, changing your hair color, or anything that was placed upon your heart.

E-Explore the world. When we travel and learn about different cultures it allows us to see life differently. It doesn’t have to be overseas, travel to a city or small town you never been to. What do they eat? Where does the dialect come from? We will have a better understanding of people. Of course right now staying safe and healthy is important.

A-Award yourself regularly. It doesn’t have to be something big. But we know you have a family and other responsibilities to take care of, however you should enjoy the fruits of your labor. Each time you get paid do something for yourself.

R-Release any tension, frustration, or aniety you may have. Find a way to let go of what was, what hurt you, or who made you mad. Holding on to that continues to hurt you not them. LET IT GO!!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!

So today is my birthday and for the first time since I was a teenager I am speaking out about it. My typical attitude towards my birthday was to not say anything or even attempt to celebrate it. I’ve never been one of those that begin the week before reminding everyone its my birthday and to plan a week long festivities. When people would ask what you want for your birthday I would blow it off and not even acknowledge they are trying to acknowledge me.

I’ve always chosen to keep my birthday for me. I’ve used my birthday as a day to be with myself mostly mentally and emotionally to kind of reflect and use it as a day to set goals.

Last year I made the decision by my next birthday I was going to be in a better place, mentally and emotionally, and would have made progress in living in who I truly wanted to be. I began speaking aloud what I wanted to accomplish by this year’s birthday and what do you know, I’ve made huge milestones. To be perfectly honest with you guys that is the best gift in the world.

Most importantly I began being truly honest to myself in how I was feeling about my professional 8-5 career and what I wanted it to look like. I always had this vision in my mind and in my heart for years but never nurtured it. Once I began to nurture who I was on the inside I was feeling lighter and lighter as the days went on and feeling more free. Each step of the way I became more confident, encouraged, and motivated to continue on my journey of living the life that had been stifled inside of me.

I noticed I began saying more often “by the time I’m 40” I am going to be here, doing this, and have this accomplished. No I’m not 40, I turned 39 today, and yes I’m proud to say my age, but the goals I set for my 40th I know I’m on the right path.

I say all of this to say if you’re one that gets down because your birthday is coming celebrate yourself and how far you’ve come. It’s your day and you get to spend it however you like. It’s never too late to hit the reset button. You can change the course of your life’s direction and be happy. Just because it’s what you’ve always done or the safest doesn’t mean its the best or right thing for you.

Finally it doesn’t have to be your birthday for you to celebrate yourself or reflect. You can do it every day and don’t feel guilty about it.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

DREAM BIG

D-Declare and claim whatever it is you are hoping for, working towards, or desire. Speak as if its already happened.

R-Radiate the energy you want to receive. The vibes and positive energy you put out will come back to you. Just think, when we smile at someone and make eye contact they smile back.

E-Establish your goals, strategy, and plan for your life. Create a calendar, vision board, or journal to keep it as a visual reminder.

A-Affirm yourself everyday. Multiple times a day. Don’t wait on anyone to tell you how fabulous you are.

M-Master the art of being unbothered. When we run our own race and stay in our lane we don’t have the time or energy to be worried about others.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Experience the Power of Being Still

Phones ringing, fax machine ringing and spitting out paper, clients walking in, meeting at the next desk with coworkers, papers on your desk, sticky notes, agendas, files, balancing the books, have to go to the bathroom, husband texting you what’s for dinner, school emailing you regarding re-entry plan, and you just ran out of coffee. Welp that was a day in my 8-5. I’m going to backtrack and say that was happening before lunch time even came.

I have experienced this scene more than once in my professional career. With all that chaos going on around you while you’re trying to be productive, do your job, and focus. That could be difficult for anyone. What usually end up happening is the rest of your day you’re equilibrium is off. There is this unsettling feeling on the inside, you can’t calm your nerves, or focus on anything the rest of day.

You get in the car drive home and begin to think back of that moment in time when the office was crazy and say “what happened?” How many times have you been in a situation to where nothing was said to you, done to you, meant for you, or about you but because everyone else in the office was in an uproar you became out of sync with your being.

After experiencing this more than once I vowed to not ever get myself worked up over nothing. Just because coworkers are having a “moment” and venting to me I wasn’t going to let it effect me again. I didn’t like the way I felt driving home and when my husband would ask “why are you on edge?” I wouldn’t have an answer.

Fast forward to present day, and that chaotic office scene occurred again. “The power of being still”. That is what I said when I was walking to my car with the biggest smile from ear to ear. I’m pretty sure the folks driving by thought I was crazy for grinning so hard. First thing I did was detach myself from everyone. I remained focus on what I was doing, didn’t feed any negative energy that they were attempting to serve, and remained quiet. This allowed me to stay calm and be present in myself. There were even times I was able to chuckle at the commotion that was going on.

I felt as light as a feather after the dust settled . I was screaming Hallelujah!!!!!! that I had the ability to center myself. As usual, you find it really didn’t need all that to solve a problem or get done what needed to be done. That not only works in the professional world but in everyday life. There is so much power in remaining still. Don’t get so riled up that you won’t be able to make a decision, complete something, or miss out because you have lost focus. Then have hindsight looking back realizing it wasn’t what it was cracked up to be.

There is power in being still.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Self Care: Declutter and Make Room for Growth

Right now we live in a world where more is better. We’ve come addicted to having “stuff”. One for sure way to get yourself lost is surrounding yourself with an abundance of “things” or making yourself believe you need more than you need.

I’ve heard the saying a person’s home or car is reflection of who they are. No I don’t mean if they have a messy car or home then they are nasty. Being nasty and just having stuff laying around is two different things.

If you get a ride from someone and they have to clean the seat off for you to sit down then thats how they run their life. In most cases they are always in a rush or just barely making it to work or appointments on time. Even though they have a phone they probably missed the reminder or because their life is so sporadic they didn’t even set a reminder.

When you walk into a person home and if just seems like they have stuff everywhere with no meaning or purpose then that is a reflection of them. They may feel like they have to hold on to things and sometimes its hard for them to get rid of “stuff.” Holding on to trinkets for memories sometimes hold us back from moving on from things that has happened in the past.

If you find you look around and see stuff collecting dust, you don’t use it, or you haven’t wore a certain piece of clothing in a while then get rid of it. Most of the time once we declutter our home, our minds begin to open up. Getting rid of old stuff that doesn’t serve a purpose make room for something else to come into your life that have meaning.

Go through the closet and get rid of those old clothes and shoes that are out dated. You haven’t wore them in forever and saving for a “just in case” event is holding you back. If that event hasn’t come by now then you don’t need it. Most often when that “just in case event” comes you’ll probably go out and purchase something new.

When we declutter our home we renew mind and our new thoughts, ideas come to the forefront. Our creativity is refreshed and we get a new sense of purpose, our confidence is renewed, and we have motivation to push through whatever has been holding us back.

Purging old meaningless things allows us to let go of the past and move on. Holding on keeps us bound to certain events and things that happened to us. Decluttering gives you power to say I’m not going to live in the past and be stuck.

If you’re ready to grow, move on from the past, and renew your spirit get rid of the old and make room for new beginnings.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

In Everything…Give Thanks

G–Give love, time, compliments, support, and thanks. No matter what’s going on around you show appreciation and thanks.

R–Release any negative thoughts, ideas, energy, words, or habits that are preventing you from being thankful and kind.

A–Activate your inner power. Whatever it is that you want to do, know you have the power and grace to do so.

T–Think Positive Thoughts. Positive thoughts produce positive energy, which leads to positive actions, and positive outcomes.

I–Initiate a conversation. Engaging with someone feeds our mental and emotional wellness. Challenge yourself and initiate a conversation with someone you don’t know.

T–Take actions towards your dreams. Create a plan and begin fulfilling the desires of your heart.

U–Understand you are where you suppose to be. If you don’t like the situation begin to understand the lesson you need to learn before moving on.

D–Dedicate time to yourself. Get to know you.

E–Expect nothing but goodness and greatness. Even when it gets tough know there is something greater waiting for you.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Handle Your Business…Get Your Finances Together

The older I get and as I approach a age milestone the importance of handling my business is more important to me than ever before. Now when I say handle my business its making sure the non tangibles are in tact.

It pains me to see so many people focused on what others are doing on social media, what they are wearing, where they are going, and twisting themselves into a pretzel trying to keep up. The more you focus on someone’s filtered life on social media the less time you are spending making sure your ish is together.

The first step in handling your business is managing your finances. Get a calendar book or journal and write stuff down. You need to know what your monthly expenses are, how much is going in and how much is going out. The more organized you are the more successful you can be in managing and saving your money. Money Jar Saving Method for easy saving

What are the due dates on your bills? Are your bills spaced out enough through the month according to your paydays? Did you know you can request a different due date on certain bills? Changing your due date on certain bills will allow you to effectively manage your income and stay in control.

Another way to handle your business is to stop overspending. Before you buy something ask yourself if its a want or need. Take a look in your closet and around your house and you’ll see how much money is sitting there wasted. I bet there are clothes and shoes that you’ve purchase but haven’t worn in a while or still have the tags on them. When you look around the house do you see stuff just sitting there collecting dust?

Along with overspending, save yourself time and money by paying things off. Instead of paying the minimum pay a little extra. If you’re minimum payment is $27, go ahead and give a solid $30. You are saving money and paying interest down and that bill will be paid off quicker. You can also save money by paying in full. So often we choose to pay in installments, however if you look at your statements on many of your bills there are installment fees.

I know some of this may be easier said than done. But start somewhere and start small. One of the main reasons we become overwhelmed, depressed, and lose ourselves often times begin with a financial situation and things just spiral after that.

You don’t have to be rich to live a rich life.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

Girlfriends…Why We Need Them

Ladies stop saying you don’t need female friends. Stop saying you don’t trust them. Your guy friends are great but your female friends are more important and beneficial to you. There are a ton of reasons us as women need a great group of women friends.

First they wear tampons and pads just like we do. They understand the hormonal and emotional ups and down when our “special visitor arrive.”

They inspire us to be great and go after our dreams. Our girlfriends allow us to vent but then they pick us up and make us push forward.

Good girlfriends influence our creativity and we bounce ideas off of each other. Therefore expanding our mind to explore outside of our comfort zone and boundaries.

Motivating each other on the regular boost both self esteem and confidence. Inspires you to be great, help others be great and reach their potential, and all around better person.

Having great girlfriends encourages us to eat healthier, exercise, and take care of our selves. Our mental and emotional health is in great condition. We’re able to be vulnerable and release any negative energy instead holding on to it for days, weeks, or even months.

We travel with our girlfriends, learn new cultures, and experience the world together. We learn how to connect with people who are different from us and make them feel good. In return we receive love, support, and a balance in our life.

Think of our lives as a pie chart, having a good group of friends is a slice of the pie. Yes our husbands, boyfriend, and partners may be our friends but they can’t give us the emotional support and laughter our girlfriends do. Each person in our life provides something different and is needed for different reasons.

Good girlfriends gives us great conversations that no one else can understand. We can hold one another accountable. Having great friends keeps us on the right track and steer us back on when we fall off.

We can be completely honest with our girlfriends without judgement or bias.

If you find yourself as a woman who don’t have female friends or prefer guy friends take a survey of yourself. Think about what you want in a great girlfriend and offer those qualities. What you attract you will get back. But don’t discount or sell your self short thinking you can get by without having great female relationships.

Now the older we get the smaller our friend circle become. All you need is a hand full of core, solid, faith filled, loving, understanding, and stable groups of girlfriends.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

How To Answer The Question “Who Are You?”

Who are you? Tell me a little about yourself. Woman. Woman of God. Wife. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Professional. Sounds familiar?! Welp, that’s how most of us answer that question. We begin by stating what titles and positions we hold as if that’s truly who we are. This is one question that many of us struggle to answer. To answer this question is to know how to show your values and morals, know your boundaries and set expectations for your self and others, have a code of conduct, command respect without being disrespectful, and being consistent.

Answering said question takes time. Depending on where you are in your life, what experiences make up your story, how those experiences shaped your beliefs, and where you are in the healing process. There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this question. Your answer is going to be different than anyone else’s. There isn’t anywhere we can look to find the answer, except internally.

Thought Provoking Questions to Get You Started

What is your pet peeve?
What is your idea of a good time?
What are your flaws?
What is your best feature or attribute?
What makes you cry?
Does your friends inspire you?
Are you happy in your relationship?
Do you smile going to work everyday?
What do you like to read?
What is your favorite television show?
What are you good at?
What are your insecurities?
Three words that best describes you.
How do you handle it when someone pushes your buttons?
What have you been putting off that you really want to do?

These are just a few questions to get you started. Once you begin to answer them honestly a more clear picture of who you are will come to you. For me it all started with me realizing my pet peeve. When someone would ask me what is my pet peeve I would have the deer in headlights look. My pet peeve is someone asking me questions to either pry into my business, get information to use for a later date, or to attempt to diminish what I’m doing. Once I figured this out I was better able prepared to notice when it was happening, divert the conversation, or simply avoid speaking with anyone who would do that to me. It took time and practice for me to get the courage to say “that isn’t something that I’m willing to discuss”.

Finding yourself or learning who you are is a journey. Because the only thing constant is change, maintaining a sense of your core allows you to make decisions without compromising yourself. Get a journal and keep it with you because its going to take time answering the above questions. The answer will come to you at the spare of the moment. Write that answer down and elaborate on it later.

Discovering who you are will set you free.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.