HE WASN’T MAD AT ME

After 30 minutes of crying my eyes out and going for a walk, I realized he wasn’t mad at me. One day my brother called me and immediately from hello, I knew he was heated. Now, I’m still being my normal self because in my mind I know it’s not towards me or about me. “Did you know auntie moved to Vegas?” I answered, yes. Well what do I get for being honest.

He yelled, cursed, and went on a tangent about how he’s always the last to know anything. The family only calls him when they want or need something. I’m stunned and confused because it had been more than a week or so that she moved. She told me she was going to call everyone with her new address and information. So I’m thinking to myself, she hasn’t gotten around to it. My aunt had this grand plan to tell everyone because she was hosting Thanksgiving this year.

Well after about 2 attempts of me trying to get a word in, he said “I see how y’all are, if that’s how you want to be, fine!!” He hung up on me. I looked at my husband and we both were confused. Immediately I burst into tears, ran upstairs, put on my walking clothes, grabbed my earbuds and went out for a walk. My husband was trying to catch me but I just had to go. My brother and I have always been close, never had arguments or disagreements, always one another confidant, and I just couldn’t believe he spoke to me the way he did. GROWTH TIP: YOU CAN LEARN FROM ANYONE

Now the old me kicked in for a minute and instantly said I’m not calling him, I’m not answering his calls, and he has done it for himself. But then after 30 minutes it clicked, he wasn’t mad at me. Thank God for journaling, prayer, meditation, and inner healing. Here’s what I figured out:

He was mad at my aunt but couldn’t express that due to ego, hurt, and lack of understanding. Now my aunt and him were like two peas in a pot. They had the best relationship. He was upset because he felt like they had an unbreakable bond and he wasn’t the first person she told. Every time I tried to encourage him to think about it in another perspective, he shot me down.
Which leads me to, when someone has something already made up in their mind there is no way to get them to think about things differently. Especially if they haven’t done internal work to understand their triggers, misunderstandings, and communication.
This is exactly what they mean when they say, don’t take things personally. It had nothing to do with me. He was upset with her and I was the one who answered the phone. My brother is a self admitted people pleaser, he doesn’t like when people think negative of him, and my aunt is the one who was able to get to him. So he felt betrayal probably.
For me, it’s a reminder that you have to remain emotionally sound to ensure you don’t damage yourself, others, and relationships. If I would have reacted and matched his emotions, tone, and demeanor it would have took a turn that would have been difficult to come back from. In the very beginning of the call I was able to recognize he just wanted to get out what he made up in his head and a response wasn’t wanted, needed, or required.
Don’t let others anger, feelings, and misunderstandings change you or how you feel. Be who you are and when there is an opportunity for encouragement and inspiration then give it. It will be received and comprehended when it’s settled.

I had to look back at this exchange and say I’m proud of myself. This allowed me to answer the phone when he called me again, have a conversation, and continue to be brother and sister. The cherry on top was, I told my husband I don’t want or need an apology. I’m ok. I just want him to get to a point where he doesn’t have to people please and prove himself. What he doesn’t realize is, it was more of a reminder for me to continue to do the work.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

DON’T LET SOCIAL MEDIA KEEP YOU BROKE

Mindless scrolling will keep you broke. Consuming too much social media will keep you broke. The endless amount of content that people put out there and sell will have you thinking what you have is never enough, outdated, out of season, or just wrong. Please keep in mind they make a commission, receive products for free, and often times return product back to the store after posting.

We live in a world where over consumption is keeping everyone broke trying to keep up with the latest of latest.

News flash, you don’t need a tiny home size closet. Having a wall of shoes that you probably only wear once is unrealistic. That is a waste of money. No one needs 30 pair of jeans. 20 white shirts. Please take the fashion inspiration and filter the rest. Also wear what you want. Who needs a new wardrobe every season? All it takes is investing in a few good pieces to create multiple outfits. Think about it, many of us grab the same pieces to wear to work, do errands, lounge around, and even during exercise.

Next, take it from me, a beauty junkie, there’s absolutely no reason anyone needs 10 foundations, 15 eyeshadow palettes, 40 lipsticks, and 20 bronzers. First of all, you’re never going to use any one product until it’s gone. Money wasted. The product does expire. And the rate these cosmetic companies are putting out new products it’s just useless, wasteful, and unnecessary. Many of your favorite gurus don’t even use the product after posting. Again having a closet just for makeup is unrealistic. Get you the basics you need and replenish as needed.

Talking about social media keeping you broke, who has the time and money to go on 4 lavish and exotic vacations every year. In the real world, a family barely takes one vacation a year. Don’t let social media think you’re not living life if you aren’t jet setting across the globe. Spoiler alert: some of them aren’t either. Much of what you see is FAKE!!!!! You can have a great life experiencing local festivities and activities.

Ok, this is the last one and it’s a doozy. Before you check out of your Amazon cart, ask yourself if it’s a need. I love watching “25 Things You Didn’t Know You Needed From Amazon”, but I don’t go buy them. I guarantee, if you look around your home, there are items purchased that aren’t being used. Just gadgets that seem cool, fun to look at, or great concept for a one time use. Everything should have a place and there’s a place for everything.

Social media can be a great tool for inspiration. But leave it there. Keep things in perspective. Be realistic. And while they are making a great living don’t you go broke buying everything they recommend because “it’s a must have.” ALL MY SOCIAL MEDIA APPS DELETED

Ironically this will not only help your wallet, but your mental and emotional wellness also. A few years ago I began getting irritated by all the clothes that still had tags on them in the closet. Shoes, especially tennis shoes, that I forgot about because I had too many options or my lifestyle just didn’t provide me the opportunities to get a good wear out of all I had. It pains me to talk about the amount of half used makeup I threw out because I had too much or it was sitting for too long.

I took my own advice after looking around my home and seeing money laying around and wasted.

That’s when the lightbulb went off. The first step in getting to a great place mentally and emotionally is going bare. I began selling clothes and shoes that I didn’t wear. If I had’t worn it in a year I was selling it. If I forgot I had it, I sold it. Let’s get to know me and heal me without all this “stuff”. It’s an amazing feeling. No distractions, you making some money on the side, and learning to be comfortable as you are.

Don’t let social media keep broke or make you go broke. Use it for inspiration, ideas, and entertainment. But just like they do, use a filter and get rid of the excess. Be well!!!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

HARVEST CONFIDENCE THIS FALL

By definition harvest means the process or period of gathering crops. Through our daily habits, self care activities, and wellness journey we harvest confidence. Planting the proper seeds for our mental, emotional, and physical health will give us the strong confidence needed to sustain this thing called life. Harvesting and planting the proper seeds are important because confidence isn’t a one and done. Confidence is a muscle we must water and exercise daily.

Plant seeds of boundaries within you. I don’ t mean cutting people off. If that’s necessary then do so. But I’ve learned to tell people (meaning family members) don’t call me talking about another family member. When they text how is so and so doing, I don’t even respond to that text. Now, when they text me and ask me how the kids are doing I’ll respond. If someone needs a ride and I have plans, I’ll let them know I have plans I can take you when I’m done. It’s more about not stretching yourself thin to the point you’re burned out.

Another thing I do, throughout the day, take a break. Plant seeds of permission to yourself to take a break. Yes, a day off is good. Vacations are good. Lazy days are good. However, small breaks daily can become more beneficial and effective. During the day at work, if I notice I’ve been going since I sat down at the computer, I’ll stop, and give myself a mental break. Get up. Step outside. Go to the bathroom. Get a snack or something to drink. Most importantly I’ll read a good passage. My go to for this is Hallmarks mahogany.com. The community writing group is amazing.

Plant seeds of protection. If I don’t want to do something or go somewhere I’ll say no. I no longer do so just to keep the peace. So often I’d say yes because I didn’t want them to think I was an ungrateful person or rejecting them by rejecting their invitation.

A great seed to plant is a cutoff seed. Sometimes I can go all day and not realize I haven’t sat down or watched a program on TV. After several loads of laundry, cooking, and taking care of my family, I’ll tell them I’m done for the day. I’m going to do something for me. This prevents me feeling overwhelmed and burned out. 15 DAILY AFFIRMATIONS TO BOOST CONFIDENCE

Lastly, seeds of investing in self. My night time cap is very important to my mental health. It allows me to put a period on the day and have a clear mental space in the morning. Same with my morning routine. Getting ready, making sure I feel my best to present gives me confidence to walk in any room and offer my authentic self.

Harvesting and plating seeds to build confidence takes patience. Start within. What do you mentally and emotionally to feel confident. Most of the time once that happens it’ll spill to the outer.

This fall plant you some seeds of confidence. The confidence you build will give you the motivation and inspiration to go after what you’re afraid to do right now.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WEEKLY BLOG: TYPICAL WORK WEEK, HOMECOMING PARADE AND GAME

This week is all about balancing work, home, and all the kids activities. Not too much going on until the end of the week. Either way my goal is to be as productive as much as I practice self care and rest.

Sunday: Slept in of course. Have to have a day to get a little extra sleep. After brunch I kinda let the day guide me. I didn’t have too much housework to catch up on since I did that all yesterday. Also I wanted this to be a chill day because we went to a football game yesterday afternoon, and after sitting in the sun we’re all drained. Later in the afternoon I decided my plants needed some maintenance. You know, cutting dead leaves, watering, and turning. Finally I capped the evening off with watching football and going for a walk. I achieved my goal in turning in early.

Monday: Off to a great start of the week with drop off. This week is a slow one until the end. I’m getting quite adjusted to this work from home full time. I actually enjoy my day and have plenty of interaction with coworkers. It’s moving and coming along better than expected. I also have been doing a pretty good job at balancing work and home life. After drop off and before heading to work, I had to package up some Poshmark packages. This was a typical Monday for us. School, work, meetings, and an uneventful night cap. Just the way I like it sometimes. Can’t have everyday of the week booked to capacity.

Tuesday: So today started off a little different. The morning drop off went great. However, I had a little moment at work. Nothing happened in particular, but I had a moment of doubt that I can’t do this. After about 15 minutes of second guessing myself and literally thinking of a way to go backwards, I had to give myself a pep talk. I stepped away from my computer went to the window prayed, talk to myself, and got back to work. I posted some affirmations on my computer as daily reminders. I’ve been good and ready to go since. After that, I had to schedule some midterm conferences for my daughter. Her school likes to an 8 week conference update with parents just to check in. Which I think is a good idea. Later in the evening I had to head out for a walk and clear my head.

Wednesday: It’s an early release day. The kids get out of school 2hours early. Now there is a shift in the schedule. But as always, we’ll adapt. The kids doesn’t have anything planned, they actually said they want to come home and relax. Before picking up, I spent my lunch preparing an early dinner for them since I had to go back to work. My goal is to clean and tidy up when I get off since tomorrow and Friday evening we have plans.

Thursday: This was a gloomy day. My husband has been having some back pains. The allergy flare ups have been hitting everyone in the house and we’re happy it’s Friday eve. Had a pretty good day at work today. Everything is clicking, I’m getting into a groove, and having a great time interacting via Teams. My plan is to have dinner ready by the time the kids get home and tidy while I’m on lunch. Due to us having to leave quite early for the homecoming parade downtown. One of the local high schools here is kicking off homecoming season. After the parade, there is a pep rally at the capitol stairs.

Friday: Friyayyyy!!!!! T.G.I.F. TGIF: SELF CARE IS ALL AROUND YOU I’m ready for today and get done with work to start the weekend. The kids are in rare form because of tonight’s homecoming game. During my break and lunch hour, I decided to cook and clean to ensure the house was ready before we left. Also I just like to make sure when we come back, all we have to do is run to the shower. Great start to the day. Everyone had a great day at work and school. Thankfully it isn’t too humid tonight for the game. Off to the game we go!!!!!!

Saturday: We all slept in except for my husband. He had to go open the store and my son is heading to work this afternoon. The game was amazing, everyone had a great time, and we’re ready for next weeks game with the rival high school. After brunch I did a good clean and put up some more fall decor that I found at Hobby Lobby. After cleaning all day, I did a good deep condition on my hair, worked out, and waited for the fellas to get off work. It was a perfect chill Saturday afternoon.

Have a great week!!!!!!

P.S. Weekly blog is designed to show the realistic day in the life of a working mom balancing family, work, life, and herself.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WEEKLY BLOG: SHORT WEEK, SNOW DAYS, AND CAR REPAIR

This week my intentions were to let the days come natural to me. Once again, the kids had a 4 day weekend and getting in and out of routine hasn’t been the easiest. But even with the snow days 3 weeks in a row we adjusted on the fly well.

Sunday: The morning was great and started a little late. It felt good to get up and let the day come natural. Because the kids didn’t have school on Monday (presidents day) I knew we could relax a bit extra. My husband and I didn’t do our Sunday morning cafe coffee run because my mom came over and we talked the time away. After she left it was business as usual with cleaning, laundry, and having an early dinner. Because my husband also took off to have a 3 day weekend I didn’t want to be overwhelmed with work and not spend time together. The evening for me began early. After a workout I was able to enjoy some quality T.V. time.

Monday: So I was the only one who prepared to get up this morning and go to work. It’s presidents day and the kids are out of school and my husband took off work. However, upon getting up and getting dressed I had a light bulb moment, and remembered we were closed as well. I had to text a coworker to remember and she confirmed for me. Another day off. Yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! I was super excited to be off with the entire fam and have nothing on the to do list. But since I was up early I proceeded to clean, have coffee, do laundry, and binge watch ID Discovery. The rest of the day was spent enjoying a peaceful relaxing day.

Tuesday: Unseasonably warm today. No wonder we’re expecting snow and ice again on Thursday. Back to business as usual with school and work, but made it a point to go out and enjoy the spring like temps before winter weather rolls in again. Had a very quiet and slow day at the office. Spent the evening walking outside enjoying the sun.

Wednesday: My morning was going great. Always a pleasure to wake up, fix hot breakfast for my kids and husband, and see everyone off. That is, until my husband calls me and says there is something wrong with our truck. He immediately took it to the mechanic and now my morning has hit a fork in the road. Instead of having a moment to myself after I drop the kids off, I have to meet him at the mechanic and pick him up. Because we’re expecting another round of snow and ice we knew we wouldn’t have answers today. They said they would be closing early and heading home.

I’m proud of myself because we came home to let it process and figure out our next steps before heading to work. Usually when something like this happens it sends you into a frenzy. I knew I was off tomorrow so it wasn’t a big rush to get it fixed right away.

Thursday: Snow day as expected. The kids are off and so am I. The temps are drastically cold and different from two days ago. After my husband left I decided to sit and have a moment to myself before the kids woke up. However, that was short lived, because we got a call about our car and what was wrong with it. I was really expecting the worst. But it turned out not to be that bad. But due to the weather we wouldn’t be able to pick it up until tomorrow. I was in gratitude mode all day. More importantly grateful for me keeping my calm and not worrying myself sick over the car. After a gloomy snowy day I was ready for the weekend. We received a call late that the kids would have school. WEEKLY BLOG: CALM AND STILLNESS

Friday: What do you know? At 5:30 a.m. we received a call from the school saying road conditions were too bad, and they were cancelling school all together. This is the third week in a row that they’ve had 4 day weekend. But there is always a brighter side. The teachers got a much needed break. We still had to pick up our car from the mechanic and I chose to truck it through the winter weather and go to work. The kids stayed home with dad and enjoyed yet another day off. I did my usual Friday grocery store run and went on a cleaning spree. You know sometimes you just get into a cleaning mode. Because it was cold out still, we spent our Friday evening watching T.V. and staying warm.

Saturday: Not too much planned. My boys had hair cut appointments and I chose to spend the afternoon cleaning up the ice melt that was tracked in from outside. I was able to have a great moment of brainstorming ideas, blogpost, and edit. I was able to get a workout in early because we wanted to take the kids out for dinner. However, they opted to order in and didn’t want to go. We, of course, took advantage of the moment and decided to go have our Saturday night date night since they didn’t want to hang out with us. It was refreshing after being snowed in the last couple of weekends. We capped the night off binge watching Netflix.

My take away from this week was everything will work out. Take advantage of the time that I have to spend with my family. Don’t let things out of your control ruin your day or week.

Have a great day and week!!!!!!

P.S. Weekly blog is designed to show the realistic life of a working mom balancing life, family, marriage, and myself.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.