Monday Morning Humor: The Overthinker’s Guide to Conversations

Happy Monday, everyone! Let’s start the week with a little humor, especially for those of us who are seasoned overthinkers. You know who you are—you’ve probably planned out an entire conversation in your head with someone, only to have the real conversation go completely off-script. How could they not follow the perfectly laid-out dialogue you meticulously crafted in your mind? Oh, the audacity!

women sitting on the chair while having conversation

If you’re an overthinker, this scenario might sound all too familiar. You spend hours (or days) anticipating a conversation. You meticulously plan what you’ll say and predict how the other person will respond. You even rehearse various scenarios to ensure you’re prepared for every possible twist and turn. But then, reality hits. The conversation happens, and surprise, surprise—they don’t stick to your script! Suddenly, you’re thrown off balance, scrambling to respond because they didn’t say what you expected.

It’s like planning for a sunny picnic only to have a surprise rainstorm. Sure, it’s frustrating, but it’s also a little bit funny when you think about it. After all, how could they not know the script you had prepared in your head?

The Real Lesson: Letting Go of Control

This humorous predicament serves as a great reminder that we can’t control everything, especially not the words and actions of others. Overthinking and trying to script every conversation is not only exhausting but also sets us up for unnecessary stress. Here are some tips to help let go of control, embrace the unpredictability of conversations, and just be:

1. Embrace the Unexpected:
Conversations are dynamic and unpredictable. Instead of scripting them, try to embrace the natural flow of dialogue. Be open to wherever the conversation might lead.

2. Practice Active Listening:
Instead of focusing on what you’re going to say next, really listen to the other person. This can help you respond more naturally and thoughtfully, making the conversation more genuine and enjoyable. Remember the phrase “listen to understand not listening to respond.”

3. Be Present:
Stay in the moment during your conversations. Worrying about what might be said or how you’ll respond can prevent you from fully engaging with the person in front of you. We all want and need genuine connections. Release the anxiety, fear, and control of what can go wrong and embrace what will go right.

4. Accept Imperfection:
Understand that not every conversation will go perfectly. And that’s okay! Accepting this can relieve a lot of pressure and make interactions less stressful. No one is perfect. You’ll begin a conversation about a recipes and end up down a rabbit hole talking about different size sewing needles. Ah, you get the point. Be confident in you and enjoy your connections. Overcoming a Moment of Social Anxiety: My Father’s Day Experience

5. Laugh at the Missteps:
When conversations don’t go as planned, find humor in the situation. Laughing at the unpredictability can make the experience more enjoyable and less daunting. Not taking ourselves too seriously, and pointing out our flaws is the best reality check self reflection you can have. How many times have you walked away from something and said, “what was I even thinking?”

6. Let Go of the Need to Control:
Recognize that you can’t control how others will respond. Letting go of this need can free you from overthinking and help you enjoy conversations more. Control keeps us stressed. The anticipatory anxiety will have us guiding the conversation instead of it organically happening. Then we’ll be upset because we don’t feel a genuine connection. Well it’s because we’ve mapped this whole thing out and now we have to steer it to ensure it goes that way.

Just For Giggles…

Imagine you’ve been overthinking about a Monday morning meeting all weekend. You’ve anticipated every question your boss might ask and have your answers ready. You walk into the meeting, and the first thing your boss says is completely unexpected: “Did you see the game last night?” Suddenly, all your preparation feels useless, and you’re caught off guard.

In moments like these, it’s important to take a deep breath, go with the flow, and remember that conversations aren’t meant to be scripted. They’re meant to be spontaneous, organic, and sometimes a little messy.

So, for all the overthinkers out there, let this be a lighthearted reminder to let go of the need to control every conversation. Life is unpredictable, and that’s what makes it interesting. Embrace the unexpected, laugh at the missteps, and just be. After all, the best conversations often happen when we’re not trying to control them at all.

Happy Monday, and here’s to a week of unplanned, authentic conversations!

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

4 EVERYDAY EXPERIENCES THAT GETS US ANXIOUS

After having a great conversation about anxiety and things that makes us anxious, I thought it would be a great idea to list some random things that may make us anxious. Not everyone suffers from anxiety, but throughout our daily life we may encounter some events or moments that causes our palms to sweat, heart to race, get that lump in your throat, or simply the jitter bugs.

stressed black girl covering ears

Who gets anxiety before they to the doctor or dentist? I do. Surprisingly its not because I’m afraid of needles, scared to hear results, or fear the doctor. I have to be squeaky clean before I go to the doctor. I will shower and scrub my skin before I go and still have anxiety about being clean enough for the doctor. Before going to the dentist I’ll brush, floss, and gargle but still have anxiety about not being clean enough. Or maybe it’s my inner child trying to be perfect for the doctor and dentist. Because I know I’m clean.

This next one I see all the time. The person that gets anxious at the check out counter. When the transaction is over they just take their change and receipt and shove into their wallet or purse. Many people in the group have expressed their anxiousness about this one. They don’t want to be the one holding up the line. Or taking too much time, trying to make sure they’re gathered before leaving the store. So often organizing and resorting in the car is more comfortable.

Another anxious moment you may have and not realize is when you’re the first one at the light and leading traffic. Are you constantly looking in the rear view mirror to see if anyone is riding you close. Do you feel pressure to speed up so they don’t . I’ve heard many say this is a common moment of anxiety for them. 17 THINGS I DO WHEN I’M FEELING ANXIOUS

Sounds weird, but ordering at a restaurant. Some people just have a hard time making a choice, having a waiter or waitress stand there with a pad and pen, and the rest of the table waiting for them. If you go out in a group, there’s always a person that was calm, laughing, and talking about all the good things on the menu. But when it’s time to order they get flustered, fumble their words, and blurt out something to get the attention off of them.

Those are four everyday life experiences that some of us probably don’t realize we get anxious about. It’s a relief and comforting at the same time to hear some of these stories. Of course, there many other factors that play into someone having anxiety or anxious moments. What is something that gives you anxiety that no one talks about?

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 2023

Today isn’t just for those who are suffering or going through something. World mental health day is for people to increase their awareness, knowledge, and understanding regarding mental health. There are many stigmas, still, regarding mental health. On this world mental health day, here are a couple of reminders to keep in mind.

the phrase mental health on a sheet of fabric

-You don’t have to be clinically diagnosed to experience anxiety, depression, panic attack, or any other type of disorder. Our everyday life experiences may cause us to have a bout of anxiety or depression. It doesn’t have to be something big or major life event. I had a coworker just express how she wasn’t doing well. It wasn’t anything specific. But she said I turned 60 this year, mom just passed, dealing with insurance and packing her home, my daughter turned 18, I’m in a long distance relationship and I don’t know if I should downsize or move. Sorting through all that at once does takes away some of the spunk she usually has.

-Mental illness doesn’t have a “look”. We should get rid of this idea that there is a look. Often times it’s the least person we expect to battle a mental health issue.

-Fighting through pain and tears isn’t a sign of strength . Actually saying I’m tired, stressed, need a break, confused, have too much going on, feel off, is a sign of strength. Just think back to when someone found out you were going through something and you didn’t tell them right away, they were upset . Why? Because they wanted to help. They love and care for you. Even if it’s just to be an ear. You’re never alone.

-Your courage to speak up and say “I’m not ok” will inspire others to say “you know I’m not either.” That goes for women and men. Then guess what, you all can work through and be each other support systems. You don’t have to do it alone. 6 MENTAL HEALTH REMINDERS FOR BAD DAYS

-Find you a safe space. Most people probably grew up with a family or environment where saying I’m not ok wasn’t supported or welcomed. Therefore, they learned to suppress and deny their feelings. Find a friend or two, coworker, journal, pastor, or even stranger. I’ve come to learn most of the time we just want to get it out . No response needed. A solution doesn’t need to be offered. Just hear me out. I don’t know how many times working from home and talking to people all over the country I had lengthy conversations with. I’m talking 2 hours. Yes, I eventually got a policy written, but allowing them to vent their frustration and anger, validating their feelings, and offering encouragement through sharing something similar left them with hope and motivation. Many times I heard thank you for listening and talking to me. I can’t talk to my family because they just blow me off. Sometimes talking to strangers is easier than talking to family. No judgement, fear, or gaslighting.

-Learn to cope through the experiences and emotions. Acknowledge whatever you are feeling or thinking. Ask yourself why am I feeling like this or responding in this manner. What do I need to feel better. Is it attainable. If not, how can I ensure I’m ok without it. What can I do on a daily to help me mentally prepare myself. Denying or delaying your emotions only makes it snow ball. Which can lead to other unhealthy behaviors.

-There’s absolutely nothing wrong with talking to a therapist. Some go monthly, weekly, or when needed. One day at work a coworker said I’m going to be late coming back from lunch because I needed an appointment with a therapist. I’m just crying too much and overly emotional. PERFECT!!!!!!

If you feel ok that is amazing and awesome. Please share with others how you do it. In the meantime, check on your loved ones. Those that are short fused, always seem triggered, overly emotional, not showing any emotion, angry all the time, never have anything good to say, sleeping too much, not sleeping at all, drinking or binge eating, no appetite, always happy, never angry or sad, nothing ever bothers them, or withdrawn all needs to be checked on.

Lastly, on this world mental health day, check in with you. You come first. Make sure you’re available, overflowing, and whole before pouring into someone else. How are you doing? What do you need? Nothing is ever too small or too big.

World mental health day is a day for us to increase awareness, understanding, and knowledge to support ourselves and others.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.

5 SELF LOVE TIPS FOR ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

Depression, anxiety, mental exhaustion , social anxiety, being drained, emotionally depleted, and whatever else one may describe being in a state of darkness. Here a 5 self love tips for anxiety and depression. At some point in our lives we’re all going to feel some form of it, some of us more than once. Here are a couple of things you can do now to fight depression and anxiety.

  1. Admit how you are feeling. Say whatever it is. Don’t try to minimize or rationalize the pain, that will only make things worse. The biggest mistake we make is we brush it off, pretend like its not real, it will go away on its own, or we are simply embarrassed and upset at ourselves for falling into a depression . If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to someone about it, write it down. Another thing you can do is speak it to yourself. Take a walk, speak it out loud, give it a voice. Once you’ve honestly vocalized how you feel you’re able to take the next step in healing. Self Care Mental Health Tips
  2. Make small goals or take baby steps. Write a list of things you’ll like to accomplish or correct to get you where you want to be. Then make an action plan on how to tackle each one step by step. This will give you a visual to check your progress and with each step you accomplish the confidence will build back up. So often we want to fix or tackle everything at once. Trying to “fix” everything at once will have you bouncing back and forth and with so many projects started you’ll become overwhelmed. Starting with something small and completing it gives a sense of accomplishment and motivation to push forward.
  3. Don’t compare yourself to others in real life or on social media. That will kill any progress you make or stop you from even starting. Take a break from social media. Remember what you see on social media is filtered, a snap shot, and a persona that someone has created. So you comparing yourself to a fictional representation isn’t worth your heart ache. Focus on yourself and the journey you’re walking.
  4. Validate yourself. Yes I know we have many voids in our hearts that need to be filled, but guess what, searching for that void other than God and yourself will leave you empty every time. Please know, feel, and believe the void of a loved one has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and what they are going through. Don’t take ownership of someone else’s baggage. LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE
  5. There’s only one you in this world. Own it. You are perfect, unique, and have gifts and talents that no one else has. Discover your gift or what you love to do and nurture it. But don’t be upset when someone doesn’t like what you have to offer. They don’t have to and that’s ok. In the same breath don’t sway with the wind to get someone to like you.

Self love is in the name. It begins with self. Know that you are strong enough to withstand another storm. You’ve been a survivor before and will continue to rise. Give yourself some credit. Remember when things are easy, you’re not growing. These were just 5 self love tips for anxiety and depression. I’m pretty sure there are millions more, but this is a great foundation and start for anyone.

So in the next storm you’re in, put that umbrella up, stay dry and wait for the rainbow to shine when it’s over.

RosalynLynn

Be you so you can be free.